I have no gun and I don't have the balls to jump,how do I kill myself

I have no gun and I don't have the balls to jump,how do I kill myself

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Join ISIS

Turn on a fryer without any suction, then get drunk and go to sleep. Buddy of mine died that way

It might sound crazy OP but I have an idea. I know I know it will sound insane but hear me out. What if? What if you just wait it out? It so good it might actually work. You just do shit to keep you busy until you die of old age. Crazy right? I just drank 8 coffee so maybe it will sound bad but I don't know. what do you think?

I would literally rather get murdered with some medieval torture shit

this will faggot
watch this at full volume and follow the steps
youtu.be/yknizSOHLfk

But my life sucks,I don't want to live.The only thing that keeps me alive are hitler memes

Capture a family of badgers, and put them in a cage with a timelock in your bedroom

WELL TAKE THAT SHIT YOU LIVING FAGGOT

HERE'S MORE

AINT FUCKING STOPPING TILL YOU THINK ABOUT ESTABLISHING A THIRD REICH

Thanks for this,it made me laugh.I still want to suicide though.Suicide lines are the fucking worst.All they tell you is "HAVE YOU TALKED TO A PSYCHIATRIST ABOU THAT" like BITCH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TALK ME OUT OF A SUICIDE NOT BE A COMMERCIAL FOR SHRINKS

Yeah communism used to be brutal and murderous.Now every cuck wants to be a communist

If you're using Sup Forums right now your life isn't as bad as you think.

Stop being a fucking pussy.

I just can't deal with my OCD man.It's killing me
I am literally a living zombie right now.I don't know.I don't want this anymore.It's been a year now nothing has changed.I want to die but I live with my parents and they wont let me prep for the jump

Superglue your asshole shut

I never had suicide thoughts so I don't know what to say. Maybe you could try pretending you're happy until you become happy. I don't know. It's probably not that simple.

Maybe you could make someone else happy even if it's something small. Giving money to an homeless person. Give a knife to a random person on steam. Be creative

I'm probably making it worse i'll just leave

Carbon monoxide is best way

If you actually think you're so worthless that you want to kill yourself try selflessly helping others, it might make you like yourself more when you realize how unappreciative people are.

Generally speaking suicide is a real wasted opportunity, even the dumbest of people can find something they're good at that makes them feel fulfilled.

OP, if you're gonna kill yourself you might as well leave your story behind. Even if it's embarrassing, why would you give a shit?

I am good at most things,I am bad at life.Does that make sense though?

You should do it and let us know how it is

I have the shittiest kind of OCD.The one that gives you ideas that are so cancerous that will destroy any happiness you have if you obsess over them.And I obsess over them.First it was an idea that I have 100 different types of cancer,then I started fighting with my parents and things got really out of hand,then I thought I was a schizophrenic murderous pedophile,then I thought I had another type of cancer,then I thought I had hepatitis,now I think I have aids.And also I got way too emotional over things taht happen to most people,like having failed relationship or fighting with friends.I am now inside my house for 3 weeks.I quit my job,I stopped working out,I stopped talking to my friends and the girl I like,I just had a literal fist fight with my father.I thought about becoming an alcoholic but I can't because if I feel sick my OCD gets out of control

Different user, no. tf does that mean? you mean your super awkward or something? If you mean you're just depressed, then you gotta get some meds man. take them exactly how the bottle says for like a month and see if they help. if not you gotta switch. Antidepressants are a case by case kind of thing. Also get some therapy if you can, I did and it really helped

shit man, that fucking sucks for real. hey, if you're gonna go out, go out fighting. Rob a bank or some shit, have the money to do what you want or else you can suicide by cop if you need to

Should I just draft myself to Syria to kill some mudslimes before I die?

What's the worst that could happen, they kill you?

just jump.