Tell me your secrets Sup Forums

Tell me your secrets Sup Forums....

You are completely anonymouse.

I'm CIA

I once took a dump in my parent's flower allotment and blamed it on the dog.

I'm in love with the cocoa.

yes my son

I like the feeling of bugs walking on my cock

I'm obsessed with smelling girls farts, poo and feet and will do anything to smell them from any girl

>poo

revealed a guy (total douche bag) for pedophilia.
if he's not doing time (cause his 'gf' dad is a cop), then at the very least a huge portion of league city knows what kind of scum he is.

fuck you mario vega
fuck
you

oh and i still talk to his gf

I used to masturbate with my flatmate's bra when she wasn't at home; I would wrap it around my cock pretending she would give me a titfuck.
She never found out and to this day she still wears it.

Yeah, I've snuck into girls public toilets before

>poo

...

i go to facebook, keep scrolling down till i find something stupid then i leave, its a cool game, my newest record is 30 seconds

Yeah, and im Mossad.

My buddy's ex is a hot big titted corporate executive. I have a bunch of pics and videos of her doing what she does best behind closed doors. I get off sharing these.The bitch would be so ashamed and embarrassed knowing that a lot of strangers have turned this upscale milf into nothing more than jerk off material.

jesus christ, learn how to write

I had a party at my house the first day I moved in as a celebration of renting my first house. Lotsa' booze was involved. I passed out early. I woke up to find my drunken sister passed out in living room with me. No one else was in living room. I toyed with her, figured out she was drunken-coma not waking up. I lubed up her vag and banged her. Next morning, sober, I regretted it. Sister knows someone banged her in her sleep. I hope I was not the only one who did that because she got preggo that night. Been ten years and her kid might also be mine. Sister and I are close still, she doesn't suspect I did that. Boy looks like a clone of me at that age. She court ordered most of the partyers, none are the dad. I hope she never tests me.

I convinced my ex gf to let a friends dog fuck her

what kind of dog?

It was a bullmastiff

i messed around with my best friends wife while i was married. mutual masturbation stuff. i tried so hard to get her to fuck me, but she never wanted to take it that far. to this day, the shit rewired my brain. her hair color, body type, voice, is still considered the "ideal woman" to me

I post from my wii u

lost my virginity to a hooker. still regret it yet still have the desire to get another hooker

if true

...

das fucked up bruh

did she give him AIDS?

Nope, just a great fucking night

PASTA

is she still into dogs or was it a one time thing?

I am doing my best to help her raise the kid. She lives with me. I'm not the daddy type but I'm trying. If that is any consolation, that is.

Yeah, she had a small dog herself at her parents home which she let lick her a few times, but had to use cream as it was a girl and wasn't into it, still hot though.

I'm a virgin at 24.

I used to weigh 375 pounds. I'm 6 foot 3 inches tall. I now weigh just about 250. Still fat but for how tall I am I'm starting to look like a normal person and it turns out my non-fat face is not too bad.

Women are starting to talk to me, hitting on me. Girl I like snapchatted me the other day and made some cute comments. I asked her out (first time I've ever done that to anyone) and she said yes. We go for coffee later today. She is nice girl probably won't have sex till 3rd date if I get that far.

Problem is I'm still that fat-fuck introverted weird guy deep down. The weight loss didn't change the fact that I have no idea what i'm doing. Once I get down to the business, I have no idea what I'll do and will probably just admit to her I'm a virgin which will make her probably turned off.

At 24 nobody wants your virginity. It's not cute anymore. Everyone expects a level of experience.

She's real cute, I like her. Idk we will see. I expect massive failure. That's my secret for you.

i have had sexual experiences many anons here can only fantasize about.

Damn that's hardcore. It's good you are doing that. I was an only child so I can't really imagine/put myself in your shoes. Have you accepted the possibility it's yours on a personal level? Like does it bother you greatly?

I think it's cool your helping raise it.

im fucking a alcoholic drunk milf.
have done for many years, since i was 18 and she 29.

try me fucker

cumming inside a girl you shouldnt be getting pregnant?

i really want to fuck and be fucked by a shemale

done!

Pics or it didn't happen

I've been in a 5 year relationship and just fucked her sister

I'm helping raise the boy because I accepted the likelyhood he's mine. I'd help her always because I love her, but the likelyhood really pushes my dedication. What bothers me greatly is how this boy being most likely mine was created. I guess guilt could be a factor too. He had the brains I had that age but he is also a social genius like my sister, like the best of both of us. He won our family gene pool lottery.

Be happy to share them with you. Is it cool to email them to you?

is her sister hotter? i bet she is. the sister is always hotter

getting head from a girl you shouldnt be getting head from while driving?

how about fucking while driving. very dangerous. would not recommend

I was sexually abused as a child. I can green text it if you'd like.

>how about fucking while driving.

no. because then you could see her face, and thats was a big no.

>I used to weigh 375 pounds. I'm 6 foot 3 inches tall. I now weigh just about 250. Still fat but for how tall I am I'm starting to look like a normal person and it turns out my non-fat face is not too bad.

hold out, 250 is not that bad for 6.3. that's exactly what i am, except i'm on the other side of that, i've been cool my whole life but i'm getting older and starting my downhill slide. first thing to do is get that attitude out of your head. . you are as fucking bad as you want to be. i told someone this earlier and they didn't believe me. you are whatever you portray. you just have to believe it harder than they don't

When I go to bed at night as soon as I lay down I move my legs like a retard (restless leg syndrome?) and smile to myself until I fall asleep.

Ehhh. Not really. I could make a throwaway. The main reason we're on Sup Forums is for the privacy after all.

lmao. one of those? no, i mean i fucked a girl while driving. it was awesome, but it was also dangerous as fuck

had a reunion from school.
party all night long with classmates, then had sex with one of them.
she travels back home to the US.
9month later she gave birth to a son.
her husband being stupid as fuck noticed nothing.

I understand. If you end up making one you can email me at johnbrock583 at g mail
It's really good stuff.

come back when you had fingerd your friends mom on a motorbike!

Why is Sup Forums so uniquely dogshit compared to every other board? I don't even mean the threads themselves, I mean the comments and the posters. The best way I can describe it, is despite differences in board culture, every board from Sup Forums to /x/ is on the same "wavelength," even Sup Forums arguing with Sup Forums is on the same frame of reality

but Sup Forums...it's like the rest of Sup Forums is on wavelength A, and Sup Forums is on wavelength Q, the posters there are legitimately retarded, like the 40+ year olds you see trying to use facebook

i dont think you even remotely understood what i was saying.

i think i still win.

I hate my life

>always been the pedo board
>user wonders why it's different

>like the 40+ year olds you see trying to use facebook

anyone that uses facefuck is moronic anyway. yeah, i'm "40+". i run my own servers, i don't need fucking facebook you asshole. and the funny thing is, i bet you i won't spy on myself. webserver, email server, i don't need the electric jew

we all hate your life faggot.

send to jamesdavejohnson at gmx dot com please

thank god, i thought i was the only one that hated your life.

you are not making any sense?
you have gotten a blowjob from a hooker in a car while driving... so what?
you have made a woman pregnant by mistake?
happends to all of us

i'll get right on that. meanwhile, just post the fuckers

>gotten a woman pregnant by mistake
>happens to all of us
bullshit, user. i've never fathered any demon spawn yet

I tried to kill myself in my 20s. My family doesn't know. My wife doesn't knows. Only my closest friend knows and he was kind of a dick about it.
I'm totally alright now, it was 17 years ago, but it still send shivers down my spine when I think about it.

>i've never fathered any demon spawn yet

true is this, i've come in women left and right. maybe i'm shooting blanks, i don't know, but still. maybe i'm just a lucky fucker or maybe i'm just fast out of the motel room

remember, it's down the road, not across the street

Im a 24 yo nurse, and i always want to fuck all patients especially those 40 yo milfs.
i always get the chance to fuck' em. but im kinda shy to do the move, you know.

>Sup Forums is dead
>newfags killed it

Just don't bring it up, or if it comes up say you had a rough time for a while. What does it matter how you used to be? All that matters is now.

>i always get the chance to fuck' em. but im kinda shy to do the move, you know.

do it now before you get old and regret it. old women love younger dudes.

i want to do better, but old habits are difficult to break. namely overeating, excessive fapping (leading to a shota fetish ), and a lack of a regular exercise schedule.

I want to cheat on my wife with my step daughter. She's so sexy and has an awesome body. I can't stop thinking about her. She looks like she was made to fuck. I want to cum all over her body. Pic related.

i used to make love to my sister at least once a week. i miss it a lot now. especially the years when it started. it was really really really hot.

This is gonna be a long story.

>Playing TF2
>The server is filled with little brats
>Get Really Horny
>Decide to lube up my small mic and shove it in my ass while i turn up the volume all the way up
>The vibrations of their loud voices penetrate me greatly
>I start to moan loudly as i begin to masturbate like crazy
>They start a shouting match over something retarded, think it was minecraft youtuber or some shit. cant remember
>The shouts begin to massage my prostate
>I begin to fap harder as their loud voices made me reach climax
>Suddenly a little boy playing as scout approaches me and asks why im moaning
>I say nothing as i continue to pleasure myself like a dirty whore
>He goes up to me and whispers loudly "Please, Stop it, STOP IT, STOP IT!"
>His mere words begin to tapping my prostate
>I yell "SAY IT LOUDER, MAKE ME CUM"
>He does until i bust the biggest and best nut of my life that hits my cum rag
>I decide to gift the kid a strange holy mackerel
>He thanks me greatly
>I say "Oh no, THANK you"

You guys should really try it tho

have you tried rape?

don't blame ya

>Im 23 yo guy who has a 6yo son... didnt accept the paternity of the kid, i left the single mom and the little girl alone.
>Got an excelent job and get good money.
>should i come back? or just live my live a single man?

...

Sup Forums
Full of normal people

Niggeer what

>son.
>little girl.


jesus man, at least keep the lies believable.

Leave them

That "friend" sounds like a cunt.

i can feel you dude. i have the same fucking problem. i'd never ever ever act on it, but shit, her kid has been hot as a $2 pistol since she was about 12, and walking around in those tight little fucking shorts just parading that ass around in my face. wow. just wow. she's around 30 now, christ on a fucking crutch, i'd pound her little ass into the calender next week if i thought i could get away with it. wow.

was nervous while typing, sorry, its a little girl :(

He was, at that time.

birth control pills make this basic

your lies have been exposed user. kindly fuck off now. thanks.

I fucked a friends mom back in HS

maybe not lies, maybe he just exposed his desires, maybe?

not possible for very specific reasons.

Have you concidered buying a child sex doll? they have sex dolls of children so that pedophiles dont try any weird shit around actual kids

Smelling her panties gets me close to cumming it's crazy how she intoxicates me

hell, i used to fuck all my friends moms. that isn't a secret, that was a given back when i was young. i was just the neighborhood asshole, everyone knew that

>Smelling her panties

i never understood this. i find the idea absolutely disgusting.

you people have issues.

as i said, she's around 30 now. no need for a "child sex doll" get your mind our of the fucking gutter, you perv

People on Sup Forums are weird?! Noooo! Ya don't motherfuckeing say.