Hey Sup Forums how do i improve on my conversation skills...

hey Sup Forums how do i improve on my conversation skills? i want to be able to hold a conversation with anyone and have it go smoothly and leave a good impression on the person i meet. any tips and advice?

practice

stop fapping, im dead serious

This!!
Also, get ready to think on your feet. Conversations are messy and awkward because everyone is different. Take unique observations about the person you're talking to and talk to them about that, not sticking to any single topic.

Just follow americans sitcoms. I sometimes tried having a convo like I'm in them

strangely enough, this does seem to help. must have to do with varying testosterone levels

Realize that you're not going to truly enjoy most conversations. You're doing it to entertain, as an act. Just practice enough, and realize that, and you'll be good.

This is terrible advice

Assuming the OP has a fapping addiction because he can't get laid. Just because it worked for your sheltered ass, doesn't mean its the same treatment plan for "normies"
Don't bust a neuron, Einstein

ok spaz

First of all.. how skilled are you at the moment out of 10?

One of the things that helped me was to take a public speaking class. It was difficult at first but I quickly got more comfortable. It has helped me socialize and communicate with people at work better.

pause for like 2-3 seconds and think about what you were going to say, you will pretty much always say something different and with more clarity

well, right now i would say i'm somewhere around 3/10. i've had conversations in the past before, but none of them have went smoothly. i always seem to get a little nervous to the point where i can't think of any thing to say, but not nervous to the point where i don't want to talk to someone. i mean, i want to talk to people, but i always get nervous and can't think of anything to say.

...

In front of anyone?
I'm pretty much the same, I just realized that not every conversation is going to go smoothly.. when you really listen to someone a lot of the time they're talking about random boring bullshit.
This really helps me Other than that be yourself bro, you can't please everybody.. And find some friends that talk about interesting, progressive subject.. nothing worse than mindless bullshit.

Hire an escort. Tell her you just want to work on your convo skills. They talk all the time to people and are very open. Not even kidding

People respond favourably to positive reinforcement, they will like you more the more responsive you are to what they say rather than what you actually contribute.

Ask them questions, reference what they say directly (but subtly), keep them talking and the mood light/enjoyable and they will like you.


E.g. "I got a new car"
"A new car? Sweet, how do you like it?"

Once a sperg always a sperg my friend so you will inevitably fuck up a couple times but with practice you will see patterns in the reactions you get and you'll naturally get better. Just as long as you keep the energy happy/joking/light people will forgive you for fucking up too.

>no what's your favorite meme

At first just focus on extroverted people. You wont be good at keeping a convo with someone who has the same as you.

Read a book or two and do what you did when you learnt to ride a bike (if you learned) - practice.

Can anyone confirm this autistic approach?

Don't do it

Not that you shouldn't contribute anything at all, throw in little responses that sound natural and are relevant. At first limit your piece to 1-3 sentences before turning the conversation over to them, sperglords like us tend to launch into huge boring monologues out of excitement. Watch the other person's face for signs of boredom.

Also match the other person's energy/sentence length. If they become more and more curt, they want to stop talking and you should excuse yourself. If they take longer and longer to finish their piece, they're probably enjoying your company and you can let go and have more fun.

Absolutely do not do this.

Srsly, don't do this. It's weird.

I know why it feels a good idea, but it don't.

I've studied conversation analysis, and real conversations are very rich experiences and those modeled on TV shows are deeply creepy IRL.

I'm the same. Except I don't want to talk to people. So I try to be polite and talk back but I end up getting nervous and not say what I want to say and just keep quite.

You ever heard if toastmasters? They make you pay down here as far as I know. I'm a Jew so it matters

Control your masturbation routine, try do fap only once a week. Also, quit Sup Forums, I'm not saying quit Sup Forums altogether because there are another boards much better than this one. Come back when you are more mentally stable.

Half of these are interview questions.... You think my interviewer wanted sum fuk?

I feel this OP but discomfort is a huge put-off. Uncomfortable people make people uncomfortable makes conversation harder for both parties. Something that helps me when conversing with somebody is pretending we're in an environment I really enjoy and they've joined me in it (for me I pretend I'm wherever I am to take pictures, even when I don't have my camera with me/am not really in the mood for taking pictures) but that's all about comfort zone stuff.

Just remember keep it light & happy. Smile to yourself etc. You'll have to act it at first but if people think you're enjoying something they'll want to join in.

Also this is hard af to do if you're going through a depression/anxiety patch so don't beat yourself up for that, but you won't get what you want unless you keep trying.

The main thig as many here have said is pratice but also really importantly find things that you are passionate about. Then you will 1 seem like a intresting person and 2 have something to talk about.

Not OP, but do you have any advice for consistency. I can be an incredibly funny and charming individual. But I can't choose to, it's purely dependent on my mood swings

have you tried actually talking to people?

make small talk at every chance you get, eventually it'll stop feeling weird and start being natural

also - if a conversation goes badly or awkwardly it's not exactly the end of the world, ESPECIALLY if you'll never see that person again

You need to stop giving a fuck

>Favorite emoji

Goddamnit, I know it's fucking autistic, but it's gonna work, I shit you not. Fucking normies.

So have I. And here I am asking.

Yeah, but thats the part where you really have to aks yourself "do I need this conversation in my life?"
There are worse things than being a bit introverted

Recognise your mood as not belonging to the other individual, and try to meet them where they are instead.

If you feel you can't fully participate because you feel too bad say something like "sorry, I'm not feeling it today" but downplay it/joke about it and basically above all keep your remarks pleasant and positive.

Unless you've known a person long/well enough that they start pressuring you to get it off your chest, provide a 1-2 sentence description but again downplay and layer with humour. No launching into spiels about wanting to rip your boss's head off, only confirmed friends are permitted this.

/life

Stop caring. For real, it works.

Stop caring for me equals not talking at all. Your advice is bad

Please don't use these. You can barely hold a conversation and these things would be grenades for someone like you.

>"What's the nicest thing anyone ever said to you?"
> -they answer and ask the same thing to you-
>"I uh.... um, someone once told me I was handsome?"

They're conversation starters and you can't converse... it won't work

Keep it short, focus on the situation, make a generic observation or listen to what they have to say, observe their emotion and not just their words, think a little bit before responding and don't worry about a 2 second pause, don't wait 5 seconds tho, exit when it stalls that long or they/you clearly have nothing more to say

For those of you autistic enough to need to mimic, unironically the conversations/negotiations in Game of Thrones are very well scripted and would be good homework. Obv not the kind of language they use in itself because you'd probably sound like a horrific m'lady (especially if not British) but the flow, energy and turntaking mechanics can all be observed.

Pic related. When he isn't whining he's charming af.

Don't become a doctor like this fag.
You want to practise.

The show btw not the book. Never read the books because going by how the show turned out I predict they're pure edgelord.

Do you have anything interesting/funny to say? If not, change this first. Everything else will follow naturally

Give them a compliment that isn't too creepy and is appropriate for the situation, e.g. it's ok to tell a porn star you think they're hot, but don't say that to a random chick

Never let a silence go for more than seconds. The longer it gets the more awkward you look

Slityour tongue and talk with s's added to the end of words.

Level up if it's something guys never usually notice, like their nail art or accessories or something.

If you feel awkward pointing out effeminate shit say "hey your ---- is cool" rather than "I like your ----" because the latter can be more awkward depending on girl.

But they love being complimented on things they did deliberately.
Unless it can be taken too sexually too soon, that's inviting disaster.

1. be attractive
2 dont autism

No, dumbass, it has to do with chemical imbalance, when overdone, which result in higher cortisol levels. Lower cortisol means can manage stress better and not sperg out when a qt asks the time.

Stupid.

>complimenting attractive women that hear it all the time

Shut the fuck up.

...

Look up a guide/video and practice, practice, practice.

It was more about appropriateness level but gfy

Appropriateness is based on social standing and attractiveness. Your advice isn't worth the space on the internet it temporarily exists in.. on.. I don't know, fuck you.

Read How to Win Friends and Influence People. Legit changed my life

This.

All though I hate talking to new people because I really don't give a fuck about them or their life as I am sure they don't give a fuck about me either. It is best to talk to random people to get comfortable.

And even if shit goes bad like this user said if it goes awkward or bad who gives a fuck, especially if it's a fucken random it's not like there gonna go around and tell everyone you know about it like it's some highschool shit. Yeah they'll prolly tell their own friends, but who gives a fuck about them either it's not like they're your boss or something or they pay u fuck them.

I've had many convos that went bad and shit and they try to pin it all on me, I've told countless people to fuck off (literally) and I've walked away and to be honest I couldn't feel anymore better than doing so.

>I've had many convos that went bad and shit and they try to pin it all on me, I've told countless people to fuck off (literally) and I've walked away and to be honest I couldn't feel anymore better than doing so.

What the fuck..

get a retail/sales job.
im infj and had issues with social anxiety.
threw myself in the pit and dug myself out.

funny enough, I impressed myself on how well I can handle conversations

Trust me, I had fuck heads try to start a convo with me and they asked me the most stupidest fucken questions I've ever heard. And I give them stupid answers to, and at the end they try making me look like an idiot or something I've must've told like at least 10 random people to fuck off, fuck themselves, etc in the past 2 months it's great tbh

>I've had many convos that went bad and shit and they try to pin it all on me, I've told countless people to fuck off (literally) and I've walked away and to be honest I couldn't feel anymore better than doing so

Lmao.
This should be a banner

Figure out specifically what your problem is stopping you from having decent conversations with other people.

If it's anxiety about talking to someone then you just have to have a whole lot of awkward conversations with strangers until you get over it. If it's that you say really weird shit then you need to learn to recognize what types of weird shit your saying and then say something else instead, and then do what while having conversations with a whole bunch of random people.

Pretty much you're going to have to practice whatever it is you're bad at a lot, and it's going to be awkward.

This is awful advice.

Idk, I tried this method and it broke me altogether.
I wasn't even that bad socially/informally before but retail made me obsess too hard over politeness and the other person's perspective to the point where I couldn't contribute anything that wasn't buzzwords. Ended up getting fired from 3 consecutive serving jobs because too nervous.

I'm sticking to kitchen portering these days, getting ripped and getting over the experience.

Though idk it's probably great advice for those closer to normal.

>Tfw girls think i'm gay for complimenting their shoes and nails.

Gay dudes are a popular female fantasy don't you know

Maybe don't do it more than once or twice tho

Retail is dying

You want to hold conversations,

you need

stamina

mental IQ (developed by talking to more people)

You need to read books with complex ideas.

An acting class where you are forced to express yourself, will help.

and time

and practice.

Getting what you can't have is a popular fantasy with every human on the planet.

Problem is after you do it once or twice the word is going to spread, unless you're doing it in a huge metropolis, and you're going to be one step above a date rapist in social standing.

>stamina

Is he doing all of those things while running really fast?

Practice OP. Same thing with anything in life. Just talk to people. Try it on people you don't really give a fuck about or don't know. The more you talk the easier it gets.

Yeah but saying her nails are cool once despite presumably spending time with her and talking about other things makes for a pretty weak homosexuality rumour

I feel like this strategy of thinking out of the, but pressed really hard against, the box is just not going to get the desired result.

conversation is like running, you build conversation stamina when you talk to more people.

Straight up OP, this is some real 25 year old sage wisdom shit

Get any job where you communicate with customers for 8 hours a day. Sales, tech support, anything that will get you face to face or on the phone for extended periods of time every day

There's certain social skills you just can't get unless you're in this environment. You have to maintain it too or the skills fade over time.

I didn't even know I had it in me when I did tech support but it completely changed who I was.. Suddenly people started to try and hang out with ME instead of the other way around. Been 3 years away from it now and I'm back to social ineptitude but I think I just need to get back into working.

Real shit OP. This will 100% help you no matter what.

Well I dunno, but it's never been an issue for me.
Even if it was to happen so what tbh all you have to do is laugh and say you're not without being an asshole. Can even lead to flirting.

Am 22, 5'9", have varied between fat(15st atv heaviest without working out at all, whatever that is in amerilbs)/chubby my whole life and have slept with 11 women, 5 of these were in relationship context and the rest were hookups at bars/festivals. Don't have tinder.

If you can get a girl to enjoy your presence enough you have a chance tl;dr, and you get girls to enjoy your presence by having fun with them and seeming carefree.