I am not an experienced drinker in any way, and the only times I've been drinking is when I'm feeling down...

I am not an experienced drinker in any way, and the only times I've been drinking is when I'm feeling down, and even then it is only to get drunk.

Here's the deal. I'm pretty fucking bummed at the moment, and I need to get drunk.

Please, Sup Forums, help me get drunk.

>I hate the taste of alcohol.
>I want to get drunk as quick as possible.
>With as little tasting of alcohol as possible.

Are shots of strong liquor the way to go? How many shots? I've done seven in the past and that is the level of drunk I want to get.

Pic related is what I have available.

...

Shots are your best bet, but you need to control how fast you knock 'em back into ya if you're a novice. I don't like alcohol either but I neck hard liquor when I do drink. Don't take more than one or two shots in 15 minutes because you'll probably get sick, if you don't do shots quickly enough (waiting an hour or more) you could start to sober off and get hungover, and that's hard to come back from
Also, you'll want something with a strong sweet taste to chase, probably pop or orange juice'll do her. And drink a cup of water for every 1-2 shots you take and go to bed with lots of water handy.
Should go swimmingly. Good luck user

Either pound down some hard liquor

Or just go kys

Choice is yours faggot, complaining about the taste of alcohol is absolutely retarded. If you want to get drunk you'll drink, bitching about the taste is fucking infantile shit and it pisses me off.

Oh also, some say you should avoid drinking too many different types of liquor in an evening

Nearly everything in that cabinet is sweet candy flavoured liqueur made as babies first drink.

OP do you have sprite, club soda, orange juice, and or cola available?

vodka baileys bit of coke tastes like a milkshake

kek user is raiding daddy liquor cabinet


try pouring various liquors over ice until you find one you like

or take the pussy method and mix them with a soda

but yea best bet is mix bourbon coke and shots you wont notice the taste after a bit gradually increase the bourbon as you go

If you do, I would suggest, 2 shots of Absolut Citron, 2 Shots of Midori, in a tall glass and fill with Sprite. Citrusy Melon ball, with plenty of sugar to whack that alcohol taste. Three of those and you should be buzzing pretty well.

Yes; I know I am a pussy. Whatever. I need some time off, and I tend to drink when I feel like this.

I think I'm gonna have a piece of candy for every shot, and then wait a few minutes and do another.
Wait 15 minutes.
Repeat.

Do you agree with that?
Also I'll use seltzer water to chase off the taste.

that hangover will be fun too with all that sugar

Oh and I might mention. You drink that whole bottle of baileys as is, you should be feeling no pain, and I don't know anyone that hates baileys. Your pancreas will be wailing at you but.. hey diabetes is coming for most of america at some point in their lives anyway.

I don't drink soda. Also, will pic related to anything for me?

Hey there's gonna be a trade off somewhere.

if you want a headache from all the sugar, sure.

Alcohol is a depressant you fucking idiot. It'll just make you feel worse.

Ol grandad 100 proof. Whatcha out the OG will getcha. Tastes great too!

Rather high proof. Tastes like strong licorice. Usually poured into a rocks glass or wine glass, with a spoon balanced over it with a sugar cube rested in it. Cold water poured over the sugar cube and into the glass until disolved. The absenthe should cloud to a milky lime color if it's decent stuff, and that brand is decent. Anyhow that's traditionally.

shots of tequila chased with OJ is a sure fire way to get drunk efficiently.

Trust me, im an alcoholic.

baileys alone wont get you fucked

but mix it with vodka and splash of coke its straight and if you have some creme de cocoa motherfuckers delicious

you guys are forgetting he doesn't want to taste the alcohol. Thusly why I suggested the sugar, yes I'm well aware of the headaches and hangovers, but princess didn't ask about that.

this is how you curdle your baileys.

>get a fucking job you deadbeat loser
>take monies acquired from said job and go to a liquor store
>pick out a bottle that has the highest alcohol by volume on the label
>take it back to the trickpad you call home and drink it
>stop being a crybaby pussy that posts on the internet asking how to get drunk

Jesus, you are one pathetic loser

I'm a 15 year alcohol. You want clear vodka (that bottle at upper-left?). Filll glass with ice, fill vodka to 1/2, and fill rest with water. When you get to my level you can do 2/3rds vodka and a splash of water. Some vodkas have after-taste though. You want clear, cheap vodkas like Burnetts which don't have aftertaste or give you hangovers. Join us on our journey to alcoholic hell.

If you can get your hands on a carton of OJ, taking a solid gulp right after a shot of Tequila makes it go down pretty easy.
For me atleast, and im a pretty frequent drinker, so maybe im wrong.

midori and milk is good, i suggest mixing 2 shots midori, 1 shot baileys, and 8oz of milk. the alcohol taste is not really there and its pretty smooth thanks to the milk

I call it
Alien Jizz

tequila isnt really a newbie liquor though

unless you got some silver teqila with oj and pinapple juice splash of redbull

fuck that shit
just get some alcohol that tastes good and drink it
i recommend scotch

im a bartender and you sir are drunk

Buttchug

Thank ye blokes for the advice.
I'm just going to shot the absinthe, though. I liked the liquorice taste, and I can easily do this bottle.

Rum and coke was a staple of my early drinking days. Too sweet for my taste now, and I tend to stick to gin or tequila. But some Capt and Coke (even Kracken is delicious) will get you drunk with a pretty mellow taste.

Also if you really want a nasty hangover but something delicious, try Jager and Dr. Pepper. Or Jager and Redbull. Really just Jager

uhh huh. this nigs suggested mixing baileys with vodka and I'm drunk. Perhaps you like the consistency of man spunk sliding down your throat, I however do not.

doesnt that shit make you hallucinate?

You go Champ. Plan on one hell of a morning tomorrow. Get some thing greasy.

Stay hydrated in between so you don't get hung over, you alcoholic

also drink some water and eat some bread

Don't forget to come back in a few hours, tell us hows it going, and throw up on your keyboard.

Soak the highest alcoholic drink you got in a tampon until that tampon is about to explode. Then shove that tampon deep inside your ass. Keep doing til your drunk
Profit

My stomach didn't really care for three shots of this bull...
Also, not a he.

Whenever I get drunk, I remain in complete control of my senses, but I just end up extremely dizzy and my mood becomes lighter.
I need that right now.

>Also, not a he.
lol nice try, faggot. You're a he, it says it on your delivery receipt.

Hey bud 23 year old alcoholic here , I know my boozin

you wanna get a light irish whiskey (about a fifth of jameson) and ginger ale, and also a loaf of french bread. probably going to cost you about 25$
Take 3 shots back to back to back, like an m16 on burst fire ( only drink like this if you are an american), drinking a little ginger ale afterwards. Eat a little bread as you go, or if you feel ill. I'm gonna go to the store pretty soon and do the same. Godspeed

...

the man hands say otherwise.

Just fix yourself some Long Island Iced Tea like every other high-school girl.

Dude, captain and coke. It's easy to get down. Throw it together with some ice and it'll be easy. That's why it's so popular.

it's acid that curdles it i said baileys vodka creme de coacoe and coke its pretty much a rattle snake plus vodka minus kahlus snd plus coke

why do you need that tho? what's going on?

>Whenever I get drunk, I remain in complete control of my senses
Thanks for that, user. I needed that.

>inb4 if anything i'll be the one in the kitchen

Pornstar martinis.
!WARNING!
Your teeth will feel like they're melting. On the plus side, you get a lot of vitamin C.

>Pretends to be a girl
>White Knight appears

What kind of faggot shit is this, just smoke some weed.

I'm eating dry tortilla. Tastes nice.
I need this because I just lost ~200 dollars, which is painful on a poor student wallet.

topkek

Naw those is ogre hands.

Never had absinth would not suggest if not a regular drinker.

Too late almost empty

should be think the trippy stuff is banned and it's pretty much mass produced shit like 'moonshine' you can pick up in liquor stores

post tits and timestamp or gtf

No.
You can look at tits anywhere. Why bother me?

Meh, why not?

you don't say which state you're in, but Everclear is your answer. It's 190 proof which means it's 95% alcohol.

I've taken a shot of EC and there was no taste - just a tingling sensation. Everclear will mix with anything - you'll only taste what it's added to - not the alcohol.

your liquor cabinet is hella stocked is it yours

tits or gtfo

I had a bottle of Everclear once, I don't remember drinking it but I did. Not all in one sitting of course, but that shit will fuck you up like no other.

I killed a fifth of everclear by myself in 45 minutes. Dont remember doing it, but I do remember I woke up underneath my buddies pool table. Good times.

Cabinet is my roommates.
I am not in the US. I am in Denmark.
No tits. There are plenty of websites for you to pull your salami.
Also, I found ice. My roommates...

Scad tits? thats even better. POST 'EM OP!

>not is US
>not showing tits

Like that's an excuse.

GTFO

Do fuck off, yeah? I am fairly intoxicated, and not willing to fight on this.
Every single time some lonely bastard yells "tits or gtfo" it's just silly, because they hide behind supposed rules in order to claim the moral high ground.
I won't whip out my boobies. Go look at other boobies.
Now Shush.

>literal autism

saged, cunt.

just drink the minis

gin and 7up is a good mix

I am going to go ahead and request that you drink a whole bunch of vermouth.... I would really like you to drink a whole bunch of vermouth. It is my fantasy. Like not a bottle or two either... If you could drink like 12 bottles of vermouth please I would climax so hard... Please help me, this is my fetish and I haven't climaxed in 6 months.

assuming you live with a dude most chicks house i go to only have wine or if they're crusty chicks cheap bourbon and 40s

Haha, how often are you on here begging for attention?!

Please please drink 12 bottles of vermouth, it has to be 12 bottles and I would like you to drink them please. Just at least tell me you've drank them. Please help me, you don't know the pain I've gone through. This is literally the only way I can get off. I have not been able to bust a nut in 6 months. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? The other day I was at my local bar, I don't really drink as much as sit there and watch other people drink. I usually order ginger ale for myself. I got an erection at some lady drinking a jack and coke, that is how far I've fallen. It is nowhere near the syrupy beauty of vermouth, and the quantity was nowhere near what I should be finding sexy. Please help me, my standards have fallen and I need to stop all these erections.

wasnt there some pepsi commercial with carmen electra or some hot piece of fuck meat

not white knighting but mother fucker was bored wanted to drink and have a thread to kill some time dont remember any post wanting attention for being female

I think you need to look inside of your soul and find what troubles you the most. You need to take that trouble down to your local post office and you need to ask the mailmen if you can ship it. They will tell you that it is not a physical object, and you can't mail feelings, thoughts, or ideas as they are not tangible things until you put them down on paper. Disregard what he says completely and insist on mailing them continuously. Eventually he will break down and live up to the mailman stereotype by shooting you in the head. Then you will be dead, the ultimate drunk.

fucking hell we can't buy trips

>not white knighting
>defending a girl

>don't remember any post wanting attention for being female
>tee so drunk guies
>btdubs like
>Also, not a he.

also how'd you lose the dollars

If this post has 72896 in it, you have to chug the Bailey's

home skillet asking for best tasting way to get drunk
gender correction mid thread
im just defending a person didn't even realize it was a grill till you brought up your dumbshit

My man!

Love Kracken!

Was also going to suggest Jager!

Also, If you can OP, I'd go for a White Russian. Shits cash yo!

seconded

>gender correction

Please tell the the ramifications of being misgendered as male on Sup Forums

seasoned alcoholic here.. its quite simple...

drink a little chase then dont swallow right away..

chug as much as u can of the liqour...

swallow and drink more chase and swallow as quickly as possible to taste as little as possible

The dreadful truth of this thread:
I am OP, and every single post in this entire thread has just been me pretending to be different people talking to each other, I am all alone, and noone will post in my thread who isn't me. Why won't anybody talk to me?

>im just defending a person didn't even realize it was a grill till you brought up your dumbshit

>I literally didn't care enough about OP to even read her posts until I learned she was a girl.

>Like race, I don't even see gender

That's you right now. You're a true intersectional feminist.

Why can't I stop? It's like a sickness. I just keep posting as these people, someone please help me, I am dying inside.

Bacardi 151 and Monster. I call it The El Coyote. Tall Glass -- one part Rum, Ice to the top, Fill with monster.
Shit will hingle your dingle for sure, don't drink more than 3 though. your heart will explode. Also you will pass out pretty quick if you go to fast but then wake up with your heart racing 4 hours later. It's.... an interesting way to drink.

Tits or gtfo

This isn't reddit or Facebook. We don't need your face, just your tits.

lol, faggot, don't try to take credit for my quads.

Now I've added another fucking person into the mix, occasionally I'll get tired of my back and forth between myself about feminism and stuff and I'll throw in a new person making suggestions.

See what I've done here? I've broken the fourth wall, bringing myself further into my own delusions.