Hey Sup Forumsros, I really need help right now

Hey Sup Forumsros, I really need help right now.

I'm 20, and I recently got a job a couple weeks ago. This girl (her name is Damary) and I entered at the same time, and we got the training together (along with 6 other people.) We talked during training, but we really started talking during the job. She doesn't talk to anyone except for me almost always. She always went up to me during lunch and breaks. I had a crush on her, but I SUCK at telling people that. She's really quiet so I always have to make conversation, but sometimes I felt like I talked too much so yesterday I tried to let her talk more by asking her non-personal questions. She then started to talk much more, and I was feeling pretty good. Then out of nowhere she asked me what I was gonna do for the weeked. My best friend is out of town so I told her I had no plans. She then told me if I wanted to go out somewhere since her friends were gone for the week as well. I kept calm and said sure. She said to think about where we could go and I was like okay. She then asked me for my number (she had given me hers before but I hadn't texted her). The rest of the day I didn't get the chance to talk to her. Once I got home, I was kinda questioning what happened, maybe it was just something she might've suggested but not assured. I had no idea what to think. Then she texts me 30 minutes after work and told me "Think about a place we can go haha." I replied "Alright, we can decide tomorrow at work."
(cont.)

We then proceeded to talk for a bit, until I fell asleep and didn't reply. Today at work I was very nervous. I didn't get a chance to talk to her until lunch. I went outside and she went and sat next to me a couple minutes later. I didn't say much, and she didn't say much either (which is normal). I asked her "got any ideas for where to go?" She said "oh well some friends invited me to the beach and we're staying there for the weekend." I just said "oh that's cool." I was just like wtf on the inside.. For the remainder of the lunch hour I made some small conversations but right after I said something I would just remain quiet for long periods. I don't think she noticed, since I told her I was kinda tired. She texted me an hour after work asking me if I could get her some weed (since she knows I smoke ocasionally) and I said I'll try. She then said "cool, let me know." I didn't respond. I'm so freaking dissapointed, and I know it's only been a couple of weeks but I really thought I had a chance. She's getting a different schedule next week so I probably won't see her as much, and I really suck at maintaining conversations through text, so I feel like that was my only chance to make a real impression.

Should I give up? I don't wanna be pushy, but I'm really into her. What do?

Any help please?

Bamboozle her user
When you're having conversations with her, it helps to really put a lot of focus on her without it being overpowering. Talk about family, talk about life aspirations, anything deep really. Deep conversations are a really good way to get to know somebody as well as keep them interested - it really does build trust and interest. Refrain from using "I" or "me" or things like unless she asks something about you.

I'm kinda high so, I don't know if my words of wisdom will help. Good luck user

That's very good advice. Thank you. I tried to ask her about her things like her siblings, or less personal things, like pets. She didn't have much to say, but I will continue to try and have deeper conversations.
Hopefully I get the chance before we start seeing each other less.

Also thanks for reading my situation, it makes me glad to know I got a reply.

IM TAKING THE BAIT IF THIS IS BAIT BUT I FEEL FOR YOU user IF THIS IS REAL.

You need to consider yourself at least as important as her, and then she will too.
You've been treating her with too much deference, but fortunately she seems to shy to realize and abuse it.

TBH, You already kind of fucked up by letting it go without a fuss when she said she got invited to the beach. A better response was something like "I thought we had plans! I made time for you - tell your friends you can't go and we'll do something fun".

Ask her to go out of her way for you to reinforce you have value, and then you do have value. For everything, even conversation.

Be nonchalant in all of you interactions and make it clear what your expectations are, and she'll comply.

Best of luck user

Hell yeah dude, I know how it is. Love and attraction are weird fuckin things man.

I hope shit works out for you user, just stay persistent. If you're confident that this person is truly someone you want to get to know better, then don't let anything stop you. Persistence

Well user, I didn't know my post looked like bait but it's not. Thank you for the advice.

I understand I was kinda weak to just let it go, but I really don't wanna make her feel forced into doing something. I don't have much time knowing her and I don't wanna look possessive.

As far as being nonchalant, I think I've done that quite a bit, but if I'll continue to do it.

I really appreciate your time, thank you again.

I agree with what he said about going about it less nonchalantly in a good way. No problem, though!

Maybe you could text her something along the lines of "Hey, since you're going to the beach this weekend, next weekend we should head to _____" or however you want to convey that.

Obviously she is interested in you, so she will take one of three possible responses:

1. She could agree to go wherever you suggest next weekend. Perhaps you guys could go out somewhere to eat then smoke together at one of your places.

2. Be prepared that she might be busy that weekend. Don't fret! You can find another time.

3. She may also invite you along to this beach thing. I suggest this because that, to me, sounds like what she may have been doing at your guys' lunch.

Good luck, and if possible keep us updated.

I agree with what he said about going about it in a good way. No problem, though!

Maybe you could text her something along the lines of "Hey, since you're going to the beach this weekend, next weekend we should head to _____" or however you want to convey that.

Obviously she is interested in you, so she will take one of three possible responses:

1. She could agree to go wherever you suggest next weekend. Perhaps you guys could go out somewhere to eat then smoke together at one of your places.

2. Be prepared that she might be busy that weekend. Don't fret! You can find another time.

3. She may also invite you along to this beach thing. I suggest this because that, to me, sounds like what she may have been doing at your guys' lunch.

Good luck, and if possible keep us updated.

Thank you man for understanding. I know it might not look like a huge deal, but I'm just concerned on missing out on opportunities like I usually do.

This is a picture of her, if anyone is curious.

My bad, this posted twice because my 4G bugged.

It's called stop being a bitch and ask her to hang out next week. You didn't think of a place or something to do, and you should've.

You deserve to get ntrd for being such a pussy
She won't respond if you're not aggressive.

Well I really don't wanna get my hopes up, but she mentioned yesterday, that aside from going out on the weekend we could go to a club some other time. This was before she canceled the plans for this weekend. To be honest, she seemed to be looking for places where we could go, so I'm not losing all my hope. It's just that seeing her less at work kinda hit me, since it's where we saw each other.

Once again, thank you. You guys honestly provided me with the confidence to at least give it a shot.

Get her outta the house, hit her up with that dank kush and go smoke on a trail or something. Privacy, good green, atmosphere etc

Yeah, I figured. I'm just concerned about making her feel uncomfortable, since I just met her a little while ago. I do plan to text her more, and to be the one who invites her out next time.

If you wanted to be with her you wouldn't give her freedom to choose other options when you're clearly not offering anything to keep her attention. Just give up now

user...just give up.
Give up trying to be something you are not.
Give up trying to be something other people will like.
If you read this post. Just stop being nervous about people and do what you want, say the truth that you need to say and live. You don't have eternity, you are wasting time with games that won't do you any good. Do your best, even if your best is weird and a bit autistic,do it and try to be happy...you can waste a life time trying to fit in, tying to look as something you are not, or just be yourself and aim for being happy.

Stop being a beta and rape her

I am the guy from last post. I wanted to say i'm really gay and i need dicks inside my ass, black dicks, to survive every day....
Trans gender bender tender offender here, and i lov e to suck cockks more than i love my mon.
This was my post:

I get you user - you don't wanna come off as just another pushy asshole. But I would suggest that being too passive doesn't cut it with most women.

I would say that a good way to consider what is pushy vs appropriate vs too passive is to consider how you'd act with with a good guy friend of yours.

Like if you made plans you'd just expect them to be kept, unless there was a good reason.

You wouldn't feel uncomfortable asking your best friend to make time to hang out with you right? That's the kind of rapport you want to aim for. You never explicitly state your expectations, you just act like you expect it.

That doesn't seem like a bad idea at all.
Maybe you're right, but I'll keep trying and hopefully it works out.
That's the thing, that with her I didn't try that hard to be different. It was pretty natural, but when I'm home I just fucking overthink things and I freak out more and more. I'll definitely take your advice and apply it in my life, though.

City/area you live? Helps generate ideas.

It sounds to me you need to be a little more assertive. She asked you to take her somewhere and you asked her what her ideas were instead. She's interested or she wouldn't have pushed for your number, but you need to take the reins on this man. Trust that a) you're worth her attention and b) you can do this and just tell her that next weekend you're taking her somewhere.

she changed her mind about you.
it happens.
the more she talked to you, the less she liked.
move on.

YOU BLEW IT!

Really, do one thing.
You over think? Okay, take a anonymous advice from a person online:
Call her and say this: I like you and i want to spend some time with you, i was happy when you asked if we could go out, and i want that, if you want that too, we can go eat something at some place and decide what we will do next.

You are a man and she is a woman user, you both know what is going on, do that and remember that if you do it and it fails, you did something instead of just nothing.
This is the best i can give you man, i really hope you will take it as what want to give you, a nice advice.

classic noob mistake user. The phone isn't for conversation it's for setting dates. look up coach corey wayne on youtube watch his essential fundamentals playlist it'll teach you how to stop being a beta. Ask her out again and if she says no walk away and never look back value your time and don't let people flake on you you're better than that user

Thank you so much for that, you are really addressing my issue. To be honest, I could've gone with her to the beach, but she's going with her friends who are probably all more interesting than me, so I am kinda concerned she'd just ignore me when I'm there. I'll definitely be more assertive, though.

Whatever you do make sure she knows you're into her. Don't pussy out and don't let it just dangle after.
I've been way more explicit than you have with girls that supposedly actually liked me and they still fuck off as if you have a one week window of opportunity to ever be with them.
Women ate fucking retards

I live in Mexico in a city called Hermosillo. It's a very active city with alot of night life. Beach is1 hour away, but it'll be filled since we have our spring break-like vacations this week. Thanks for the tips, I'll try to text her about some plans for next week, I don't think I have anything to lose.

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

You really don't seem to have any sort of finesse so there's no way you will pull this off unscathed. Leave it alone, consider her nothing more than a co worker.

Stop worrying about it so much. Honestly you are already doing the right thing(by accident because you are a sperg probably) by not texting her all the time. Make up plans and come to her with plans in mind. "I'm doing X next week, you should come". Easy peesy. You must not be disgusting since she's already showed interest. Oh and no food and no movie. Do some different shit. Shows are good as well as just going to the bar and shooting pool.

I fear that. But even if that's the case, I'll give it a shot. Thanks for the time.

Yeah, that seems like an ideal way to go about it, I might try it our if I can't seem to get her interested.

I'll be sure to do that, I appreciate the advice. It honestly sucks to be such a beta.

That's a big issue, I don't think she knows I'm into her. Maybe that's the root of the problem.

Well, that's discouraging. That's kinda how I felt before posting this thread.

You're welcome. If you still can, go with her to the beach. Don't be afraid of being uninteresting. Don't be afraid of having nothing to say. All you have to do is PHYSICALLY locate yourself in the group, and look cool and collected. Comment occasionally or when something is actually interesting for you. Don't reach for stuff to talk about.

SERIOUSLY though.

Think about times you've hung out with a group of a friends and there's cute girl who doesn't say much. Maybe laughs or makes a small comment once in a while. Do you think of her as being uninteresting, undesirable? No waaaay no waaaaaaay man. That girl is always super desirable, super hot.

Same for girls with guys - but it's all about your mental attitude. If you're thinking that everyone's judging you or expecting something of you, you'll look like a dweeb. If you come at it like I'm just here chilling out and, and enjoying everyone's company that's fine. Never be afraid to not talk - girls get uncomfortable too. Just be honest and stoic.

Yeah, I don't text her unless she texts me, which is something I do all the time cause of my overblown concerns. Shooting pool sounds like a good idea (I don't know about shows here, haven't looked into them).

By the way, thanks for the compliment.

It will only end badly for you. Women in the work place if you have a job where the company has any public face will always side with her. You will lose your job, your reputation, everything if she decides it. It much easier to cut you to appease her than to do a whole investigation that would bring negative light to the company.

Cut it off, find a new girl to pursue.

If she mentions it again, I WILL say yes. The way you described it makes alot of sense. The fact that she invited me over to join her group of friends, despite not knowing me for such a long time is encouraging (since she'd be introducing a random dude from work) but kinda frightening (since I'd be the one who doesn't know all the others like they know each other). Either way, I think I'm past thinking about the negatives, and I'll definitely take the opportunity. If I do go, maybe I'll take some weed and hope it keeps me relaxed.

I don't think that applies, it's just a day job I got which I'll probably be leaving in a few months.

You should just straight up ask her if you can still take her up on her invitation to go to the beach.

She already offered - she may see it like a standing offer and she won't ask again.

Take the initiative, and tell her you want to come if it's still possible. Bringing a friend last minute to a social event is not a big deal except for people who make it a big deal.

>chocker neckwear

She's way out of your league OP

Yeah, that sounds about right. I will see how it goes tomorrow and tell her if it's cool if I go.

Yeah, she's outta my league for sure bro. That's kinda why I freaked out when she told me that she wanted to go somewhere, and why I kinda just took it when she said plans came up.

Good! Do it up! I bet she says yes without blinking. Expect in your head that she's going to say yes with out any resistance, and it will happen.

I'm done user - good night

Here's an email of someone with professional training and experience, who'll help you with advice and listen to your pages of stressful self-reflection.

I suggest talking to him instead of getting random advice from Sup Forumstards who'd just as likely tell you to shove a grenade up your ass and pull the pin on live stream

Thanks man, you've really helped me out. Take care.

Thanks, I appreciate that. I'll send them an e-mail.

Although to be honest, I got way more positive replies that I was expecting, and it really helped alot. I'm grateful for everyone who took their time to read though my dumb situation.

This is awful advice. When putting yourself in a situation where someone else is in control, assume the worst. Be happy when it isn't. Fully expect her to say, "Nah, my friends think you're weird and I just wanted a hookup for weed," and then emotionally prepare to be okay with that.

Then, if and when she says something better, you'll be relieved and pleasantly surprised.

This is how I've overcome the urge to burn my ex's house to the ground when she admitted to cheating on me out entire 3-year relationship (laughing about it like it was a fun little game she played on the side)

Never underestimate people, but it's hard to expect you'll always get the best advice from a community whose computers are each full of shovel dog, Milhouse, and that fucking banana.