Tell me about the time your mom caught you masturbating

tell me about the time your mom caught you masturbating

Other urls found in this thread:

nieuwsblad.be/cnt/dmf20170405_02818275
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Never has
Never will
E
V
E
R

she never did. nice try fag.

Well... We were at my fathers funeral, and the corpse looked so tasty I couldn't help myself. So as we get up to say our final goodbyes to the corpse I just whip out my dick, and start jacking it. This goes on for a few minutes, and noone says anything, well then finally my mom is crying so hard that she has to look away from the body, and she catches me busting a nut right on my cold dead fathers casket.

Damn user I just went diamonds

...

I have a weenie though

she once found some search results in the browser history on our home pc (i didnt have my own at the time), but i was young so they were really docile, like "boobs" and "naked" in google image search
never caught me in the act, few close calls though

She didn't but she walked in on me dry humping this chick in my school year with her bare tits in my hands

>"but your dad's finger is deep into your pussy"

fix'd.

Kinky user

So, It wasn't straight up porn.

>It was super early in the morning, and I had gotten up early to do my daily jack-off.
>Run across a flash game on an adult games website, pegged as a concentration game.
>So I start playing the game, and the concentration bit is playing 'snake' while naked picture of women flash in the background.
>I start rubbing the head of my penis through my pajamas.. this is my stealth masturbation method when I want to get off, but dont want to drop my trousers, in case something happens.
>Get kind in to it...super focused on the game, and feeling good.
>i suddenly feel some fingers run through my hair and lightly down my back and hear "Good morning honey, what are you up to?"
>I just out of my skin, turn around and see my mom.
>I start laughing, and say "Oh, I was playing a game and it called itself a concentration game. Turns out the concentration bit was they loaded a bunch of naked pictures in the background to keep you from focusing on the game!"
>Laugh some more.
>Mom looks at me strangely, then starts laughing herself. "Silly boy, well come on up, I made breakfast."
>She leaves the room.
>Pretty sure I fucked up, and this might have turned into something, if I had actually acted like I was caught looking at porn directly.
> I think she has spied on me masturbating before.
>Also about 65% sure she knows I look at mother son incest porn.
>Once made a quip after a gynacologist visit where they took images.
>"Oh, these are just photos from the visit, you wouldn't want to see these.... Actually maybe you would, come here."
>Shows me photos
>"Keep in mind this is the closest you'll ever get to seeing it."

l used to fuck a pillow while watching porn like a jack rabbit when l was 11 l had a really big dick and oneday l felt like l ws being watched so l went to my window and saw my female neighbour watching me she had a husband and kids.

bump

oneday l was rubbing my dick on the dog and my mom walked in

>l was rubbing my dick on the dog

seek professional help

Bump

Genuinely happened to a friend, not me. It'a bit like the old legend of the dude tossing away loudly under the covers and finishing to discover a recently placed cup of tea right next to his bed.

>Fapping like a monkey in his room
>Mum walks in, sees him going at it, he sees her.
>Goes out silently, shuts door
>Calls him down to dinner about 10 minutes, later
>He sheepishly goes down, hoping nothing is said
>'NOW WASH YOUR HANDS' she barks at him

Ouch.

N E V E R
E
V
E
R

I was thinking of "accidentally" letting my sister catch me beating iff, she's probably not seen a penis before and I'd kinda like to be her first

Where you like rimming his asshole with your cock, or just like putting it on its fur

be me 14
>mom says "i'm going grocery shopping I'll be back later"
>I'm alone
>fire up pornhub
>get naked
>watching favorite pissing vids
>cant get off
>need more
>decide I'll piss on self
>need towel
>leave porn on screen
>go down to laundry room in basement to get towel for pissing ides (its just a concept at this point)
>while down stairs see mom's panties, bra, stockings.
>put them on with pair of shoes
>immediate hardon
>carefully walk up basement stairs trip hit head
and get knocked out
>wake up with mom, paramedics standing over me
>Today I'm 24 and I still feel like I'm on fire with shame just writing this

>Be Me
>14 Year Old
>Going hard on my meat
>Fapping on bed
>Door swings open
>Cum
>Mum stands there as I cum
>Walks out
>Dont talk for like a week

you do realize your mom sexually abused you and took naked selfies with you and pissed on you before the paramedics arrived?

don´t ruin her for life user

its fake faggot. its the same stupid faggot that always fills these threads with his fake bullshit stories.

after a while you can see his recycled words and sentences.

Plus side
>She thinks your a closet faggot.
>Rather than a filthy piss-loving pervert that needs severe therapy.

lmao similar thing happened to a friend of mine as well

>Friends lives in a two story house
>His room is upstairs, also has his own shower
>He's done showering and goes to his room naked, since it's really close by
>Sits down naked in front of his computer, horny as hell
>Puts on some porn and starts fapping
>Hears someone going up the stairs
>Panics, tries to close the window with the porn, but since it was windowed, he misclicks and puts on full screen instead
>Mom walks in the room, porn is playing on the whole screen and he's sitting there with a titanium hardon
>She asks him "were you...?" while awkwardly doing a stroking motion with her hand
>He nods yes
>She leaves a tissue on the counter by the door and tells him to clean up when he's finished and come downstairs for dinner, and then leaves, while leaving the door open after her

Poor guy

read the fucking thread properly you stupid fucking cuntlick

>don´t ruin her for life user

this a myth. although true in some cases, its not true in all cases.

dont know about the story guy, but i can guarantee that this one is true.

my mum never did but my dad. i was in livingroom whatching tv, maybe i was around the age of 12. i watched a lui de funes film where a scene at a beach for nude people made me horny. so i started fapping. dad opened the dor, got on the floor and pretty much walked the dinosaur.
he said: "i've seen what i have seen"
i didn't know what he meant but maybe he didn't know what to say either.
it was terrible awkward for me because i diddn't know what fapping means to society, i only realized i must have done something wrong. later he called me weeny-player. parents can sometimes be so fucked up.

on the plus side you could make her a lesbian
so do it

Very funny

As someone with an incest fetish, I never get the negative connotation with this.

A mother that is non-chalant about you fapping is pretty awesome. Especially considering some mothers threaten to send you to church (religious), or therapy (conservative), or cut off your penis (feminist)

made me smile

Just one really fucked up time.

She walked in on me jerking over porn. She's a hardcore feminist type so was totally disgusted by it. She stood there shaming me for degrading women then, for some fucked up feminazi reason, said if I could do that then I should do it to her instead.

She then stripped off and made me look at her while masturbating until I shot a load.It was the most awkward cum of my life and she was so smug about it like she'd just taught me a lesson.

not same user. just an user with some exprience on the topic. its bullshit that people ALWAYS get traumatized. sometimes people turn out ok and their lives carry on.

never. i could do it behind her back and she wouldn't even notice

>I still feel like I'm on fire with shame just writing this
Holy shit that was hilarious!
You're cool, bro.

I've seen several B-ranked celebrities mention themselves getting molested as children, and saying that they were okay/fine with it after growing up.

They generally experienced a lot of backlash from a brainwashed, hypersensitive population.

yo, pic of your mom

this is how americans actually think

I don't get that at all. It's a natural thing for a growing child to be doing. I'd say you should be more concerned about your child showing absolutely no interest in sexuality.

>"Keep in mind this is the closest you'll ever get to seeing it."

jej

>titanium hardon

Aside from the fact that I am paranoid and wouldnt show it anyway, I honestly dont keep any family photos on hand. Even on trips, I don't take pictures of people, but focus on plants, animals and architecture.

I will never forget, It was 4th of July 2001. Partied hard all day, booze, coke, ecstasy, GHB, having a gay ol' time. Get home around 4am, horny as shit, popped in a DVD porn (no computer). One of those 8 hour ones. Start spanking, pants down around ankles. GHB must have knocked me out. Woke up to mom tapping me on the shoulder with a Benjamin Franklin $100 look. Still mortified today

I've never been caught, and since I moved away, nobody ever will.

>be me
>be around 12
>be in bedroom
>humping mattress like tomorrow never comes
>hear screeching sound
>think it's nothing since its always fucking nothing
>go at it even harder
>emit hushed delighted sounds
>cum
>look up
>mom's here, hand on the handle, looking at me
>decide to go full denial
>casually walks out of bed
>say to mom: "oh! Hi mom, you were there (lol)"
>mom doesn't talk to me for two days
>ok.jpeg

never had. Moved out of home now. I got by completely unscathed. Fapped every day for 7 years too. its called being cautious.

I'd have my mouse curser over the X button ready to close in a second if i hear someone open the door and my hand positioned so i can rip it out of my pants quickly if i hear someone coming nearby.

bullshit

wow what a cool fucking story dude

such as?

>be me 12yo
>be in my room naked and beating off to photoshopped Wesley Crusher porn
>mom walks in
>what are you doing? are you masturbating to photoshopped Wesley Crusher porn?
>her clothes fall off
>she pushes a fist into my anus
>elbow deep with no lube
>reaches round and starts into slapping the end of my dick onto the corner of the desk
>my bowel muscles contracting around her forearm
>head of my dick turning purple, throbbing in agony and pleasure as she forces raw spaghetti down my tiny piss hole and flexes the shaft so it breaks into agonizing shards in my urethra
>I'm fantasizing that Wesley is raping me
>mom is calling me a little faggot as her arm works in and out of me, starting to get lubed with my diarrhea
>she starts biting my nipples til they bleed
>edges me for about six hours that way
>finally it's too much
>the rhythmic pulsing in my intestines combines with the agony in my penis, producing the most unimaginably intense orgasm
>I ejaculate about six pints of preteen semen into my hamster's cage, drowning the poor animal
>collapse panting, nearly blacked out from the intensity of the painful orgasm
blood oozing from my ruined penis and I will never hold be able to my feces in ever again
>she stands over me and releases a torrent of scalding hot urine over me then defecates into my open mouth
>I swallow it down greedily and managed to stammer out the words "thank you so much mom" as she kicks me in the stomach
>before she leaves, she forces the still-twitching corpse of my semen-drenched hamster into my gaping and prolapsed rectum then mashes it to a paste by inserting a baseball bat into me
>I sit up and see all my friends have been watching and taking photos and videos of my torture
>best day ever

phake n gaye

10/10

I... this is nice

I love the knocked out part.

I wasn't ever caught cuz I fap when everybody sleeps.

The urine gave it away. She couldn't possibly have boiled "scalding hot" urine while fisting and edging you. Nice try though faggot.

Yeah my mom found that on our pc when I was 10 or 11 and I blamed my older sister.

She found other porn on her laptop whe I was older but i blamed that on a virus or something

Nice

I could see that happening my mom went through the browser history and talked to me about how porn or imagining a woman while masturbating was rape because she couldn't give consent

that happened to me and my first girlfriend

>her mounted on top of me grinding
>my hands on her bare tits
>her mom in the window of the front door to the barn we were in with surprised look on face
>realized what she interrupted and went away

that's proper retardation, kill your Mom or let me fuck her then we'll dispose of her together.

This is how Sup Forumstards are made.

I think mum caught me in the act once but that's not the most embarrassing for experience I've had.

A while back I was using mum's new computer to watch porn and didn't realise she set up the browser to automatically bring up the last thing you looked at when you first open it.

She informed of this a day after I'd been watching hardcore interracial gang bang porn.

Closest i've gotten to is had my Mom give me massages on my lower back and thigh a couple of times, I was really good at controlling my boner and so I did.
>Mom says I have nice hands
>As i'm laying down on my back after the massage, she grabs one of my hands compliments it and puts it on her thigh
>I say "I have sweaty palms, you don't want to do that
>She says wipe them on me, holds my hand and starts rubbing it on her thigh

Laugh my ass off up until this day, this happened like a few days ago.

wut

Lol while I don't love her I do respect the fact that she worked a lot to raise me and my sisters
Ya that plus I'm pretty sure I was molested as a child. Idk by who but I do remember having the same syntoms of the clap (caught it a few years ago) and scaring on the tip of my dick as a kid.

What country you from?

do it faggot


mom wants the d

there was this guy last week in belgium, who was fucking his dog.
Parents came in, were shocked, called the police. Poor guy is now in an institution.

That happens to everyone at some point in their lives

>fucking his dog
>poor guy
No. He's human detritus.

He just wanted some love user.

Typical furfag is typical.

and the act is called....The Aristocrats!

Link?

...

nieuwsblad.be/cnt/dmf20170405_02818275

In dutch, not in an institution, convicted for 3 months.

>weeny-player

Happened to your mom, and your shitass was born.

And to this day you still live in your Mums basement

shitass

...

My mom knows I do but I've never been caught red handed.

Fun fact never been caught masturbating, but i got caught having sex 2 times.

How do you know that she knows?

>Be me
>Sad and lonely, decided to mod Skyrim over 3 weeks
>Achieved perfect aesthetics and sexual ability
>This is depressing
>Start to get into sexual activities
>Donger heightens
>Starts furiously masturbating like the faggot I am
>Door bursts open
>"user, DINNER'S READYYY!"
>Mom 360s and walks away
>Continue to masturbate furiously
>Comes back up asking if I want some sauce
>Climax
>Mother tries to say something
>"Oh."
>720s and walks away
>Feels bad

>Pic completely related.

>Aesthetics

my dad caught me but my mom never did :p

More or less the same thing happened to me with my dad!

She's asked me before if I do and I straight out told her yes

so she turned 180 to look away then though ehh and 180 again to see that cock?

>"Keep in mind this is the closest you'll ever get to seeing it."
kek, she wants you to masturbate to her.

Never masterbaiting but once my gf was blowing me in the living room under a blanket. When I saw her walk in I pulled her head up but when I did it made a loud pop noise rip.

nope - but have seen someone I used to know on Cam4 and Chaturbate, fiddling with herself for tips.

Sure