Why did I divorce her Sup Forums?

Why did I divorce her Sup Forums?

The way you ate toast finally broke me
>Fold it
>LEFT
>RIGHT
>THEN THE MIDDLE

couldn't take it

The right idea but idk if it's funny enough

Bump

Tell her it's because she never texted back within the same day. All your conversations were either in person or took weeks.

+42
That shit is perfect excuse
Dont let her have any beachouse she seems to not give a damn about your ass.

You cant cook

your father is more atractive

You started out taking it in the ass, and licking my balls, and letting my friends fuck you while we did coke with hookers. But 3 years in your pussy is all saggy, you eat too much pizza and you seem to enjoy sucking off the dog a bit too much. I mean, a bit is cool - we make money off those videos, but I really think you enjoy getting knotted more than you like fucking me!

At least the cat knows whats up - I'm keeping her.

I could never sleep in the beachouse again after seeing the things you did there. Also that dead hooker we buried in the sand gives me the creeps.

your was better in bed.

kiss ass answer:

You were just too hot! I would get jealous of all the guys hitting on you all the time.

if dubs then:

>because I'm a closet homosexual - I really just got married to hide my love of cuck sucking and taking BBC up the ass.

Because you called me a fucking cuck for wanting to see you spit roasted by some black guys.

Went with this

You ain't young enough

clearly it is because you are a faggot if that is the one you went with.

>your daughter got too old. I just wasn't attracted to her anymore.

Because i sukked dat nut nut

This

Fuck off

>quit talking to her
>get into deep web "marketting" with a side of local "afairs"
>develop a cocaine habit
>raise enough money to buy all the land surrounding the beach house
>purchase the road the beach house is on and make it your driveway
>cut her off the phone plan
>if she doesn't have a boat she probably wont leave unless she can swim or thinks you are spineless bitch, though with a cocaine habit, she might not think that
>hire people to keep her in place
>bring small offerings at your leisure to supply her with food
>make her live like a wild animal who worships you like a god
>dehumanize
>train her to do everything you want without bitching or being a cunt

And there you have it, a fool-proof plan to re-marry/un-divorce your ex-wife

This

Fucking kek
Reroll

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