Pick a super power, first reply to it is the conditions in which you can use your new power

Pick a super power, first reply to it is the conditions in which you can use your new power.
I'll go first

understanding all known human languages.

sucking dick everyday

being asexual

whenever you blink

that was OPs condition

what homofaggot thinks that would be a superpower

you get molested by your uncle

but everybody fucks you in the ass constantly

absoloute omnipotence

must reach 300kg before you can split

the ability to teleport once per day (Universally) but requires something to charge it per tp

but you are bound to a wheelchair

>ikr

but can't make a weight that you can't lift

there are no chargers

infinite homosexuality

you aren't following the rules... can't make up your own condition...even if in part

being asexual

but no one likes you

The ability to read minds and control people

Be normal

you are charged for child abuse

but you and they only get every third word.

did you just assume my powers requirement ?

but no one likes you

But then you're a filthy normie. Get the fuck out.

only when no one is looking

16 is legal here

whenever you sleep, the rest of the day you're OP

Ability to pause time for everything but you

wish for whatever i want, unlimited wishes.

copping a load from a horse in the ass

wishes come true upon your death

The air also pauses and you can't breathe while time is paused.

How?

Only when you are sleeping

as long as you trip on acid

but everytime you do it a horse cums in your ass

power to turn women into jockstraps

Only while telemarketing.

Unlimited shape shifting ability

as long as he isn't breathing

you can only wish for more wishes

youre gay

your fathers finger needs to be in your asshole for the power to work

can only shapeshift when orgasming

Even if you can breathe for a second you wpuld be blind, and what happens with all the momentum you have form earth's spin, and the pressure change?
Tired of all that " time stopping" bs.

...

the thousand year door must be the best game of 2000-2010

Able to create 13 tapes before an hero.

the power to turn anything into solid gold

someone screencap dis

But now that gold is so plentiful, it is effectively worthless.

Molten gold

But you die

you can't count

but the gold is in reality dirt

Immortality

can turn myself into a diaper

only when you're sleeping

but Sup Forums shuts down. permanently.

Only when the full moon has appeared and you have drop kicked a baby as sacrifice

Ask for help

The ability too make any women do what I want

The united states of America

help

you are forced to socialize

Only while telemarketing.

but the closest men will also do what you command the women to do

only when they are tied up in your rape dungeon

Able to cure Sup Forums's cancer without being cancer

I can sleep as long as I fucking want

but you are a newfag

Can make anyone orgasm just by winking at them.

Only when you sleep

but then you lose internet forever

but only during daylight hours

that thinks Sup Forums is the deep web

but you have no eyelids!!

but you are in a tanning salon

but you will never cum again

I'm faster than the Flash

solving the paradox causes universal system shock, the plus 4 dimensions collapse into a singularity. all life, time, space become static...

But youre a faggot

I faster than

And a bigger fag

But the laws of physics still apply to you and if you go too fast you burn up and die.

speed surpasses both weak and strong nuclear force, upon you first 'real' run you manage to separate your and the surrounding materials atomic structure. the chain reaction. the citizens of Trappist-B1, a planet within a system 40 lightyears away a nearby star has gone nova

but you're on the sun

I'm the sun

I can fart Zirkon B.

Something I've always wanted, even fantasized and dreampt about, is telekinesis. But telekinesis to such a degree that you can "see" and "feel" atomic structure around you.

but you are a newfag

as long as you eat hair

You just want to grope people, don't you?

but you are an oldfag

Everyone's excretions effect you the same way that pure capsaicin would

Can only shapeshift into that you understand completely. Molecular structure, ect.

That, in it self, is the ultimate curse. See everyone you've loved die. Everyone that you might love die. Everything you've loved die. No wonder God left us.

but, fuck people. I could carry out a meaningless existence of just existing. If I ever got truly bored I'd just do a GTA rampage for eternity.

That raises the question. Would an immortal be able to survive the destruction of the universe?