Sup Sup Forumsastards, I'm a bored bdsm instructor and thought I try answering all the bdsm / sex questions Sup Forums has to offer.
Sup Sup Forumsastards...
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how do u instruct bdsm?
You can find help online. You don't have to keep hurting yourself and others. Good luck OP.
this. OP, consider seeing a therapist to talk through your unhealthy sexual desires, you can DEFINITELY get over them and learn to enjoy normal sex- I did! Good luck OP.
You don't.
same way you would teach a subject like painting or theater. You can have a lecture that discusses the concepts of bdsm like consent and negotiations or you can have a workshop where you show people how to do the kink safely.
for example if I was teaching a shibari class the class would revolve around a certain tie and I would do a step by step demonstration. imagine painting while watching Bob Ross except you hitchen bitches with rope.
for me I would have a volunteer to bottom for the class. (usually a friend or experienced bottom)
I'm quite comfortable with where I am in life. I understand you like plain green tea but don't dis my vanilla bean chai tea with goat milk until you try it.
what makes you think you can't? do you think people instincly know how to tie someone up without causing nerve damage or play with fire wands without giving your partner 3rd degree burns. you have to learn or else you're going to hurt yourself or your play partners.
oh goodness, no. Tried it for too long, it's a horrifyingly unhealthy way to look at sex imho. But if you're happy that's all that matters, do you. Please just try not to hurt yourself or anyone else in a way that won't be able to heal. I'm glad I got out when I did, and if you ever feel you need to, any good doctor will be able to talk the whole thing through with you.
can i choke my gf safely?
> green tea
Oh lord no. Just a mug of hot water for me friendo.
I don't practice or teach anything that doesn't heal. I feel like if it's ok to get bruises and marks from playing a sport like football then why not in the bedroom?
hello?
yes you can but you have to understand that their is a 2 forms of choking. you either restrict the blood or air flow. always restrict blood never air.
For me I only use my body to choke someone because it's the fastest and easiest way to control the choke.
the best thing to do is just watch mma or judo tutorials on "back choke holds". same motions but you don't want to make them pass out but instead feel the blood rush to their head. be gentle with the choke hold at first and slowly tighten it. make sure your bottom knows how to tap out and that the top recognizes the action. after 8 secs let go of the choke and give your bottom time to breathe and stabilize. wait about 2 mins before doing it again.
if you want to do it while having sex in a missionary position then take one hand and place the thumb and underside of your pointing finger knuckle to create a v shape. place it so that each point of the v is on both sides of the wind pipe. apply downward pressure but again be gradual with the amount of pressure at first. if you want more impact the do the same with both hands.
I'm just getting into the stuff. Having fun so far. Have any tips for an aspiring top and (maybe) dom?
what kind of things are you interested in exploring?
Currently: rope bondage, impact and pain play, sensation play, sensory deprevation. I'm really looking to dip into as many things as i can, though the listed ones are my focus right now.
I'm about as new as new can get. I bought twisted monk's starter pack and I've been playing around with it.
ok so with rope a great place to start is learning a single column tie and from there you can have fun just wrapping the rope around your partner. there are a surprising amount of youtube videos that can visually show you how to do certain ties but different people can handle different ties.
I've worked through a single column tie, two column tie, and chest harness on my bottom. I'm still working on my flow and the snugness of my ties though.
as for impact and sensation play you are only limited to your imagination on what tools to use. again some bottoms like more sting then thud and vice versa so play to your bottoms limits.
When I mean anything can be used I mean anything. I knew a guy who would whack is sub with those rubber goose that sound like someone screaming. it's fucking hilarious to watch it being used and it leaves perfect imprints of the goose's face and feet.
How has BDSM affected other parts of your life?
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How do you properly choke a bitch?
Are there any detailed instructions to tying knots?
why does everyone ive ever dated have to be so into this and i dont give a shit about it
tention is key your rope should always be taut when you're tying. also think of the action of tying and untying as if you where doing a slow intimate dance. it adds depth to the action and makes your bottom all the more turned on.
Where u sexually abused?
I think im attracted to weird shit because i was sexually abused so idk if that's the deal wit other ppl.
That's fucking hilarious. My local kink club is holding a silent auction and I'm bidding on a couple softer floggers to see how using them is.
My bottom prefers sting over thud, so I've been trying to play to that. We actually had our first impact play session tonight, using a belt.
well love life has been changed dramatically. my gf are always kinky (shocker) and sex is always fun and interesting.
read the thread for choking guide
there are a ton of shibari tutorials on youtube that will give you a good starting point. here's a buyer's guide to buying good rope for it.
epicrope.com
woops my bad
thanks for the guide :P
well nothing wrong with not being into bdsm but there are is a lot more to sex then vanilla.
Any good instructional sites?
From what I've read it's made to seem that being a dom is some sort of art that requires lifelong training or some ridiculous shit. I'm am a naturally dominant person but I know that a dom is expected to act in a manner that is beneficial to their sub and take their feelings into account. Is it just as simple as caring about your sub and giving them enjoyment? I mean, obviously part of it is knowing what gives them enjoyment but it just doesn't seem like rocket science to me.
I personally was not but it's not uncommon for people who experience sexually abuse to find comfort in bdsm. some people actually use bdsm to address the trauma and use it as a form of self therapy.
on what?
Good question, ill get back to you on that
Sharps play? Knives, needles etc
lol ok so that whole idea of lifelong training is kind of bullshit. when you get a "dom" who think they're hot shit and is a bit older then most they develop this ego about themselves.
honestly you only need to know how to communicate clearly with your partners, express your kink so that the risk are as low as possible and to know your limits both when topping and bottoming.
certain kinks like rope play and anything else that is considered edge play take time to learn how to do it safely and even then accidents can and will happen.
bdsm is founded around R.A.C.K
Risk
Awareness
Consensual
Kink
everyone needs to know the risk involved in the kink before consenting to do a scene.
ok I went on a rant there for a bit.
yes it's pretty easy but that is only if you and your partner(s) are clear with what you want out of a scene, your limits during a scene, and the things needed for aftercare.
you be surprised at how unclear communication can be especially with shy, bashful, or naive people.
I don't know of any sites about knife or needle play. I would tell you how to do it safely but it's not the easiest thing to instruct with words.
Ok, I think I'll stick around until 3:30 cst. I'll answer any other question you guys have.