Feels thread? Feels thread

Feels thread? Feels thread

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Last time I got laid was 2009. fml

Anyone else raised by a mentally abusive family?

Yep. As a matter of fact I just got chewed out by my dad for 2 hours earlier today. He wants to know why I don't like the girl he's seeing that basically ended my parents marriage. Atop that, he's the hardcore traditional republican type, the the info wars guy; so he had to explain to me why I'm a pathetic loser who stays in his room all day and why my way of thinking is the problem with my generation. It's not even just him either, my mother will play victim after provoking my dad into a stupid ball of rage and pretend she's some good parent who's had to survive through the way he gets.

Anyone else think of suicide regularly? If so, what do you do to avoid those thoughts?

Your parents remind me of mine. They're narcissists, and unfortunately both of my siblings have become narcissists themselves, or at least show strong narcissistic qualities. It wasn't until I was about 16 that I realized that my parents weren't normal based on how other parents talk and treated their children. I think about suicide a lot, but the biggest fear I have isn't dying, but failing. I can't imagine the shit I'd go through with my family if they found out I tried to commit suicide.

who else /absolutelyapathetic/ here?
I ascended feels long time ago

Same here, my oldest sister is a degenerate who thrives in the drama my parents create. It's unforunate I still have an 9 year old sister that has to live through all of it. But yea none of my family know I think about suicide or even smoke away the pain for that matter. They'd go ballistic if they knew because they see themselves as good parents, so obv it'd be my fault for wanting to die

Just means you're that much closer to suicide. It's the one's that stop caring you gotta worry about

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I have pretty mad feels story to share, but thing is, do I want to?

thinking.jpg

1/2

2/2

My sister, 26, parades around the house calling herself "princess" and refusing to do any labor. Unfortunately, she's the Golden Child. Even though she recently moved backed home with her two dogs, she still can do nothing wrong. On Easter, her two dogs came into my room while I was asleep and took a shit. My mom ended up blaming me for the ordeal. Any problem I have is completely diminished and I'm scolded for being too self-centered; how I don't think about how my problems ruin my parents' day. I don't know about you, man, but I just can't bring myself to love any member of my immediate family, and I despise all the signs and social stigmas that we're supposed to love our family no matter what.

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no.
I don't want to kill myself. I don't perceive spending most of my time where I do as waste. It is all about how you perceive your surroundings. You should not constantly stress yourself

My dude I feel you, family is shit, and the obligation we feel toward it is just... It's fucking stupid. It's not as if we choose them, but majority of the time they don't choose us, some people are just the waste our parents have to deal with so they could have kids they actually love and care about.

Who else here is 20-odd years old with no foreseeable future and no gf?

Part 1 of my life story guys, hope you all enjoy.

>be me, 5 years old
>parents just split up because my dad cheated on my mum
>being 5 I don't really understand it at all
>my first memory was probably a few weeks before this, I was standing by a blacked out glass door at night asking when my dad was coming home
>mum was mostly in tears
>5 so I don't really understand, and end up annoying her
>she starts shouting
>skip forward three weeks and they've broken up, she caught him playing with another woman's tits
>my two sisters and one of my brothers move to Plymouth wit my mum, me and my other brother (3 years older than me) stay with dad
>don't go to school because dad is a massive drunkard
>constantly beats me and my brother because he's fucking wasted all the time
>about a year later he meets another woman, let's call her Fiona (for the memes)
>Fiona's a fucking bitch
>screams and hits us while not drunk
>almost forces neighbourhood kids to beat us up
>one time I get locked in a creepy run down campervan all night around the time I'm turning 6
>get forced to eat off the floor
>if we even ate at all
>brother lost his virginity at 9 while living with dad and Fiona
>bear in mind my brother has mental disabilities, this fucked him up proper, let's call him Brother 1, the loss of his virginity so early will be important later on

>about half a year later of this torture and I'm 6.5 years old B|
>dad is actually sober for once and went to do some shopping
>Fiona walks in
>"the fuck are you doing user"
>terrified.jpeg
>"N-nothing Mummy" (forced to call her that)
>realizes I'm eating a packet of crisps
>didnt have permission
>she starts ragin at me, and slaps me in the face
>im on the floor now balling my eyes out
>she's screaming at me, and keeps hitting me
>brother comes in shocked
>she does the same to him
>drags us upstairs to the third floor
>opens windows
>ohplsfuckno.mp4
>drags me kicking and screaming to the window
>never been more scared in my life
>probably high or tipsy because she struggles to push me out
>dad returns
>Brother 1 screaming in the corner out of fear
>dad sprints upstairs and pulls Fiona the fucking bitch away
>blood on my face from the beating
>bruises everywhere
>both me and my brother are shaking, traumatised
>shortly after my dad, even tho he's a massive dickhead kicks Fiona out of the house
>sighofrelief

...

Not abusive, but I do feel stunted.

My dad's an engineer- smart guy, and extremely experienced with a lot of the world since he moved a lot since grandpa was in the army. Ever since I was a kid, he's been telling us about everything, and we never really got to experience much for ourselves. My siblings and I kinda just assumed everything about life would kinda just fall into place as he described it, and I never actually learned anything. I just got lectures about school, girls, grades, professors, college, everything. I know he's got my best interests at heart, but I truly don't feel like I've learned anything for myself. I just got a lecture about everything.

i used to be satisfied by literally playing WoW like 12 hours a day for weeks on end i like games still but jesus that was a much darker time in my life than i realized at that point. i think it was just because i was younger and the school system is broke. it felt more productive playing a game than pretending to care about school at the time. luckily my college experience was better. i miss being able to get that satisfaction from games though. there was something very relaxing about it. these days i get like zero satisfaction from anything game related. i have to derive all my enjoyment just from the gameplay as it happens. achievements and missions and trading cards and skins and shit do nothing for me like I would imagine they would have in the past

Every time

engineers generally have terrible interpersonal skills. he doesn't know how to teach and productively interact with you which is no surprise. just be glad you're not poor though. you can sort out everything later as long as you're not worried about where your next meal is coming from

>Dad finally starts to realize he's a prick
>buys us dreamcast
>starts taking us to school
>still alcoholic but struggling to get better
>still heavily bullied but everything seems a little more bearable
>Dad meets another woman, let's call her Ashley
>Ashley is super nice
>Dad reduces alcohol intake greatly
>Nicki treats us with chocolate and basically everything we never had
>things are looking up!
>then she's diagnosed with some back disorder
>Dad struggling with alcohol again
>she isn't allowed to live with us anymore, Dad isn't qualified to take care of her
>they break up
>dad is heartbroken, starts drinking heavily again
>me and Brother 1 most of the time left to our own devices
>starts kitchen fire
>at this point I'm becoming mentally unstable, I even fuckign tried to cut some kids finger off with a pair of scissors, teachers had to drag me away from him with blood spurting everywhere
>only escape I had was learning the gay stuff at school
>inb4 could count past 100 and say hello is 28 languages (a thing we did most people only knew 2 or 3)
>one night dad doesn't pick us up from school
>me and Brother 1 just sit with the teachers
>police turn up with social services
>huh?.png
>get taken by police car to plymouth where our mother lives
>told we have to live with them for now
>Because of some fucking stockholm syndrome shit at the age of 8, I went apeshit when I was told I couldn't live with "Daddy" anymore
>my brother was happy to not be living with him anymore
>I felt pretty betrayed ngl, and so began phase 2 of my fucking god awful life

I think narsism runs with us B tards but i have 2 brothers and a new born baby sis me being oldest and only born to my dad my mom now hates my dad my mom and step dad brain washed them to hating all my family and anyone who speaks against them like my moms mother but the 2 younger boys are perfect and cant get in trouble but i cant not be left alone with out being verbaly ass raped for being a lazy mf that sites and plays counter strike all day i try to talk about my problems with them and they say im melo dematic i only have my dad and my best friends mom who is like my mom but what ever pic related
How much of this is real whos storys are real whos are fake

What sucks is that I'm pretty bad myself at social skills. He's always pretty good when we have people around us, and since I'm not good at it I can't accurately judge if he's good at it or not. In my eyes, he's really great at being able to talk to people since I get anxious about it a lot.

Narcissism is found everywhere but I doubt that a majority of Sup Forums is narcissistic, especially since we're all anonymous. Your mom sounds like a narcissist. It reminds me of how my parents would laugh at me whenever I told them I was being bullying, or whenever I had panic attacks.

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omw there! I've stopped stressing about school, girls, work, and hobbies as much as I used to. Feels ok

>living in plymouth now with Mum, two sisters and two brothers
>I say that, but we also had a step dad now
fat technician guy, we'll say he's called Bob
>all living with bobs family in one house
>super crowded but there's this cool guy Gary who works in the special forces, liked to tell us fun stories
>eventually move out into a set of maisonettes because it's pretty crowded
>Bob and Mum get married
>meanwhile in the life of me and Brother 1, our dad is failing to meet contact rules. the last time i saw him since those terrible three years was 10, where he didnt come to supervised contact
>feeling pretty sad atm, and the struggle sof being in a family start to unfold
>get yelled at by mum and bob for having no sense of respect after being abused for 3 straight years
>struggling in school because i barely ever attended
>no friends
>siblings liked to bully us
>cause it was plymouth most people there were fucking dickheads and beat us up
>Bob started to become abusive to my Mum and me
>eldest sister started behaving wierdly self harming and shit
>inb4 ran away several times
>forced to stay indoors all the time, not allowed to ever go out.
>one time during christmas me and Brother 1 snuck out to play in the snow, the first time it snowed for ages
>bob finds us and drags us indoors
>locked in our rooms
>anyway, so the irst horrible event to happen was that one day eldest sister went mental and smashed me over the head with a wooden pole
>blood started spewing out of my head
>I thought I was gonna die
>forced to wait 2 hours in a sweaty waiting room
>finally get my head stiched up (I still have the scar)
>the next two events are pretty crushing even today

sort of, my family is super manipulative and passive aggressive. Particularly my mother. I tell her im looking at job offers that would take me out of state so I can start my life and leave my boring small town, but they hit me with
>muh family values
>youre abondoning us
>family is supposed to stay together
then hit me with "but hey if its what you want"
I honestly stopped giving a fuck, moving out in 3 months and cant wait

Maybe
I think it was more like I wasen't raised properly
>Mom and dad seperated when I was real young
>They would always fight about money
>Stayed with my mom most of the time but she was gone all day working shitty factory jobs to support me and my five bros
>She would also rather go party with her friends when she had free time
But she stopped doing that when I was like 14 or 13
>She couldnt support us all by herself
>Had to live in my aunts basement for atleast a year
>Mom would try to start non sexual relationships with other guys but it would always end up with them fighting
>Would stay with my dad on the weekends
>We would always do the same thing
>Take us to a fast food resturant
>Go play at a park for couple of hours
>Sometimes take us to a dollar store to buy a cheap toy that would break easily
>Take us to his empty home
>One time he was homeless and we would sleep in his minivan at truck stop
>woke up and saw two guys arguing with each other which led to one stabbing the other
>My two older half brothers are assholes
>Oldest bro would keep me up all night to scratch his back or fungal feet with a fork until he fell asleep
>2nd oldest bro tried to get involved with gangs he also turned out to be a violent schizo
Now im 20, overweight, and a dead beat who has never gotten a real job and still dont know how to drive a car
Only thing I got going for myself is that I got into a commut college with payed tution but im also taking that for granted since I keep missing classes

You should probably just go full No Contact with some members of your family. You can't live a healthy, happy life with how they treat you.

KV here who just turned 22

some days it doesnt bother me, And I think it'll happen at some point and im no longer in a rush because fuck it, if its taken this long I might as well pick a good one


other days it ruins my soul

>It's late one night
>neither of my brothers can sleep
>(we all sleep in the same room)
>eldest brother speaks to me and Brother 1
>"Are you awake?"
>the conversation diverts to our penises after a while, I mean we are young boys
>then the eldest brother makes a strange request
>he wants to touch brother 1's penis
>that feeling of dread starts to bubble inside me
>over the next few weeks he forces us to engage in "sexual acts", no penetration or anything but fucking messed up shit
>eventually one night while im pretending to be asleep, my eldest brother and brother 1 are doing stuff
>Mum walks in
>whattheactualfuck.exe
>goes ballistic screaming and shouting
>drags eldest brother shouting downstairs
>calls the police
>he denies it, but gets taken into foster care that night
>I never see him again
>pretty terrified right now

It's not 100% bad tho...:

Shit man, it sounds like you're really getting your life on track. If your community college has any counseling, then you could always take advantage of that.

>be two years ago
>jr in highschool
>already thought life was shit, now its worse but this story isnt about me.
>have friend
>7/10 would bang but she was like a sister
>go to camps together, become closer friends know everything about one another
>basically wife material if i wasnt such a beta fuck
>spending one night out just chilling in a field looking at stars on the hood of my car
>she starts tearing up
>saying that she is having a great time but just doesnt want to go back home
>father is a general alcoholic abusive asshat
>she cuddles with me
>instantboner.jpg
>still feels like sister so just let her cuddle but dont do anything
>fastforward senior year
>taking concurrent classes, dont see her as much
>the one class i have with her had assigned seats
>across the room
>can see the pain in her eyes growing every day
>get a text one night
>"Im sorry user"
>ask her why
>she doesnt ever reply
>fuckitimnotgonnahearabouthersuicide
>hop in car and speed over to her place
>get pulled over by cop
>right in front of her house
>fuckitidonthavetime
>run into her house
>open the door cop says get on the floor, everyone walked the dinosaur

I hope she gets better. Death sucks

Thing is I've always been shit with school
I was that kid who never turned in homework but still got passed to the next grade just so they wouldn't deal with me I guess
Until I finally got held back in the 11th grade
Thats when I kinda changed
Put more effort in school got into that free tution program lost 20 pounds because the school I transfered to had a gym, a really shit one but they still had one
Also ate healthier and smaller propertions
But here I am now
In my second semester in commut college and ive gained the weight back and more
I just ditched 2 of my classes today 2 times in a row already

>school was going well
>teachers liked me even though i had unpredictable outbursts
>they started some points system for me
>get my beahavious on track
>still violent though, I end up trashing a classroom one time, and almost drowning the school bully
>(Ahh I don't regret that last one)
>eventually Bob is becoming so abusive Mum leaves him as well
>filed sexual abuse against bob's parents for my new sister (She was only a year), who had problems with her bladder
>she thinks they sexually abused her
>only 1 year old
>mfw
>anyway we leave plymouth and move to a nice seaside town
>by now mum has met another dude
>can't see this going well
>we'll call him fred
>fred is niceish
>we get along
>then he has aback injury
>spends all his time indoors
>starts getting bitter
>at my new primary school I'm a real loser, but I was at least 2 years past my fellow students in education
>inb4 was studying from a GCSE biology book
>doing year 11 maths
>is 10 years old
>basically im a cocky smartass who hates everyone
>start making friends in school, get moved up a year but home is still fucking awful
>but it's abuse that ive seen before
>start to get older and instead of being beaten down i start to fight back
>lol my arrogance has no bounds
>then brother 1 rapes second youngest sister
>he blackmails into not telling for 2 months
>tearing me apart
>asks if I want to join in
>"WHAT THE FUCK NO"
>then Mum walks in again one night
>sees them
>I start bawling my eyes out telling her what happened
>she's shellshocked
>brother spends night in jail
>also put into care
>and o think this all happened because of eldest brother and losing his virginity back when he was young
>life couldn't get any worse, I was now all alone, not allowed to go out
>develop inferiority complex at 11 and be really bitter
>think im better than everyone else
>lose all my sort of friends

>mum eventually dumps fred
>things start to calm down
>I get better!
>My schoolwork becomes more refined
>start working on a novel (I'm currently about 126 pages in, should be finished within a month or so)
>at the moment i'm finishing my final year in secondary school (I live in England)
>aout to do my GCSE's

I wanna do this part not in greentext actually. I met this fuckign amazing girl about a year ago, she really helped me turn my life into something good. Now I've got an amazing future in the Exeter Mathematics School, hopefully leading onto Oxford University. I've got a life with ambitions and friends now. I even sing eh? But, see, I love her guys. She's amazing, she's very pretty, and I asked her ut. It took her two months to give me an answer, and even though she told me she was going to say yes for majority of the time, she ended up saying no. I'm just some memelord who got to know her really quickly, I cnan't possible hope to match up t her expectations. Not to mention after I asked her out, a whole drama ensued, and although we're fine now, she's kinda bipolar with me. One moment we'll be having really kinky chat and be super friendly, and then the next day, maybe even the next hour she'll ignore me and get really annoyed. I dunno what to do Sup Forumstards, she made me the man I am today (Well, 15 year old) and I know most people this age don't look for serious relationships but I've been through so much shit I really do just want one. I can't figure out how to make her happy, but I guess that's just a problem I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my school life. Definitely for the next 3 or 4 years. I have to be there when she gets her next (And second) boyfriend, I have to see them fucking cuddle and shit. I have to watch (NOT LITERALLY) when she loses her virginity to some other retard and so on.

Anyway, that's kinda my life, thanks for listening

Lol >implying anyone did

Why do I feel I annoy everyone. I'd just like to have one normal friendship where i can make jokes and laugh without worrying ill be seen as weird.

i did user

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2nd episode of heart failure, smoking cigs hoping I don't wake up some time soon. I have quite a bit of chest pains and uneasy feeling most of the time now

Thanks my dude, I really appreciate it

ouch. start standing up for yourself user

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31 here....

I always feel sick. That's all I can say.

I listened user, damn hard life you've had

Hows the novel going, and what's it about? Good luck with the girl by the way

I recently bought a gun. I've been around guns all my life and enjoy using them to shoot targets and such, to me it's no different than playing darts or pool in that manner. All about hand eye coordination, however you can always just borrow or rent a gun for things like that. I don't live in the country so it's not like it's something I can do everyday.
When I bought it I said it was for home defense and recreational, but that is only part of the reason.
The main reason i bought the gun is so that every day I don't use it on myself I can feel like I've actually accomplished something.

Hey, thanks, the novel is actually going really well. It's called The Cat, The Girl, The House and The Snow (AKA CGHS), it basically followed the life of an amnesiac deity of the forest, after her memory was wiped and she was brought as a pet by this guy. After her owner was killed (Who she had a close relationship with), it explores her journey to remembering, and her discovery of what it means to be human, along with all the pain it entails. I can put the first chapter onto a file sharing site if you want.

And thanks, I'm sure things will look up for me and her soon eh?

Friend just died a couple hours ago.
My s/o was way closer with him than I was, but we'd just started all hanging out more. The kid was one of the happiest people I've ever met (I know people say that shit all the time when people die but seriously he never stopped smiling) and he was the most encouraging and optimistic guy. Just saw him at a party Friday night and said goodbye to him on Saturday morning.
Can't bring myself to make one of those posts on social media about how he was great and all that. It just feels fake whenever I see people doing it. But I hope his family is dealing okay.
Can't stop thinking about the idea of death. As much as you want to see someone again, you never can. There's always that space wherever you go. That kid had a family, dreams, a girl he just started talking to. He never gets that again.
It's all fucked.
I won't say it anywhere but here but I'm sorry this happened to you Wyatt, you didn't deserve it.

I'm alright I'll wait til it's in stores :)

Personally I'm a huge fan of sci-fi and like to write, but feel there is no new ground to break there without being seen as copying

I think with writing sci-fi, there are only two options you can really go nowadays.

1: Super fucking complex ideas like convoluted time travelling that are so good people don't see it as copying

Or 2: Weird ideas, the Douglas Adams type deal

Anyway, good luck with your writing too my dude.

Just wanted to add that your book actually sounds like a new book, not something recycled. I just think the title could use some work, at the moment it's a bit of a mouthful. One thing I learned in English here in the US is that colons and semicolons are very useful, a la "2001: A Space Odyssey" or something or other. I dunno, just a suggestion

Thanks, I'm actually thinking of something rn. It involves the development of warp travel, rather than its prolonged use like most Sci fi novels

Read all of it. One of the biggest advantages in life is having a stable family environment. You didn't get that, but don't let that be an excuse for doing the messed up things that happened to you, to other people.
You're only 15. I always hated when people gave me shit for being young and not knowing anything but it's so true. I'm 20 now and i realise how immature I am. I just hope in the future i can be a good dad/husband and be a decent person.
In regards to the girl, TheRedPill on reddit and The Game by Neil Strauss - two basic things i wish i had at your age. They will help you out tremendously.
Most importantly don't let your past shape your future and never feel obligated to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.
I wish you all the best user.

I would do that, but uhm, the entire chapter naming is based ont he four initial CGHS (That's the short name for the book). Each letter arc has a specific morale and theme it tries to target. For example, G stands for "girl", and (Because she's not actually a human girl, she's an immortal spirit), it explores the human side of personality, the "girl" side, and all her values and shit, etc etc.

On the left you can see the chapters I've done so far, see how they're named? It'd be kinda difficult to change the title now :/

Okay that makes a lot of sense to me now. Since I read mostly sci-fi, chapters don't typically have names so I didn't take that into account. Thanks for clarifying

Hey, thanks for the advice maan. And don't worry, while what happened may have made me a bit of a cynic, I've tried really hard not to do anything, I'm determined to become the best man I can be, to my future kids and basically to anyone. But it kinda left me with the sense that I don't like my family. Even now muh fam doesn't really like me back, but i have friends and a life now so I can just be me.

And I'll check those out, Neil Strauss is a favorite of mine I'll get the book sometime soon. Thanks :D

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Warp Travel eh? You're right, it's development is never really touched upon... I'm excited. What's the style of writing like? Gimme something to compare it to.

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Don't want to die for the first time in 13 years, don't know what to do with myself.

First step is to do something stupid and silly, be a normal guy :ok_hand:

Then just have fun, all you can do.

Np man.
Free pdf of the entire book if you Google it, focus less on the lines and more the basic concepts behind them

I haven't even started yet, so no clue I'm good with neat ideas, just not putting them into action because lazy/high school. I was thinking something like Dune in its epic-like characteristics

Will do. I also have a book called The Power Of Charm, it's a great read if you haven't already, written by Brian Tracy and Ron Arden. It basically kinda cured my unlikeability/arrogance and made me a pretty good teacher/public speaker.

Ahhhh user, my friend, good ideas may as well not exist without action. I encourage you to start, the world will only become better from your writing, and if it's even half as epic as Dune I'm sure it'll be great. I have one piece of advice, DEFINITELY make sure you focus on the times in the book when something epic is not happening. Because that is 95% of your book, especially if it's long. You want those parts to be interesting, but no too much so that it makes the epic parts seem normal. That's what separates an incredible book from an ok book.

Looking at these comments makes me reminisce about my days of depression. I would sit alone and watch everyone have fun while I know I had no fun or friends. I get the feels when looking at what you guys/girls are going thru cause I have been there. Hope yall are doing ok.

I used to be like this bros, it gets better trust me

So what you're saying is that the climb to climax should be interspersed with small "bumps" to excite the audience on the way? I'm good at writing essays because those have a given structure, but a sophisticated plot structure escapes my freshman mind

I'm holding out hope, can you suggest anything to help a young user?

Does anybody have the greentext story about an user who fell in love with a girl in high school? It was about a girl who would dress up in unsual dresses that were more fitting for dolls and only lived with her grandma, I think. Someone please help. I need to feel.

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I'm gonna post a short clip from King of the Hill, the best adult swim show imo. Sorry for low quality

m.youtube.com/watch?v=EJH5YEJ9iLc

Texted a girl who I thought was my friend a funny joke and they didn't reply, but 10 mins later I saw they liked my friends picture on Instagram...so that hurt a little.

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I know that feel user, some people just have a different sense of humor and maybe she was put off by it. Who knows. My innate paranoia tells me bad things, but in all honesty she may not get it, or maybe she didn't read it or see it. For me it's an internal battle over what happened, but for you that's different. Ask her if it's eating at you, maybe shoot another joke.

Yeah like 2 hours ago as a matter of fact. But didn't cause I remembered one of my friends needs to be picked up at the airport on Friday.

Alright I guess I should elaborate on this...I've told this girl about how I'm more/less an alpha at social interaction and how I only trust her with anything I say (other than Sup Forums because user) but she continues to do shit like ignore me when I text her and then do other shit that I can see. I know it's not blatant and that she probably doesn't know that I can see what she likes, but it still hurts nonetheless when the only person you can feel like you can trust can't even text you back...even if its a joke.

Yeah life sucks , what it do

I'm 22yo and I literally never had a friend in my whole life.

I'm just tryna play some Overwatch and a song comes over my YouTube mix. It's a song by my old friend. We used to make songs together. He excelled while I was too depressed and self-critical to keep up.
>mfw I'm a fucking loser playing vidya and he's a successful producer

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Kind of corny but I love this
>too much pressure teach

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That's basically the girl I'm having trouble with right now. :/

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Anyone lurking?