Bam, you suddenly find yourself in the year 1500 in a small shack just outside of London

Bam, you suddenly find yourself in the year 1500 in a small shack just outside of London.

What can you offer the world with your modern brain?

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Fuck all. I'm not gonna be burned at the stake for witchery.

a lighter that sheds glitter

I can let the world know that OP is a faggot

>mfw my programming skills are completely useless

Magnets, radio, penicillin, and more things we deem basic. Just have to try and not get burned.

Nothing. They wouldn't understand my English as much as I wouldn't understand their..

youtube.com/watch?v=tCckcTHWqKw

Good point user
It would take time and wouldn't be easy to learn how to properly communicate in this era

i didn't point that out in OP because i thought it would be inferred by the premise that such issues weren't there

All the genders!

id probably murdered someone cuz your never gonna get that chance in the modern world then blame it on a witch or some shit (not trying to be edgy but like think about it when else are you gonna get the chance to murder someone)

prevent autism

Oh bot, you're so silly!

i would teach them we should kill all Jewish merchants, perhaps start a assassinations guild

Nothing because I can't speak old English

I'm just gonna go into town and start giving advice on how to fix or improve shit. Eventually the people will recognize my superior intelligence and probably kill me for being a witch or some shit

Fair enough.
I would seriously be tempted to buy an European young girl as a slave (afaik such a thing was rare but it did exist) and make glorious love to her. Not sure my moral compass (however flawed it is) would allow it, though.

having spent the better part of 15 years studying late 15th C england, I'm probably laughing.

I know how to phrase stuff, to advance science by a century, without too much difficulty. Probably kickstart the Industrial Revolution by 1550.

I'd certainly be able to write on "modern" medicine, teaching bacterial infection and proper practice to prevent it.

I could very easily do metallurgy to create most of the bessmer process and get advanced steel production. I could also do maritime engineering to prevent the sinking of the Mary Rose.

And unlike most of the people on Sup Forums, I know that the english did not burn witches in 1500. infact, the witch-hysteria of the later 16th and early 17th C could be pretty easily avoided.

Preemptive holocaust

Invent the wheel, obviously... £££

/thread

Lets do it right this time, and while we're at it the mudslimes too.

preservation of culture

Collect cute bois and introduce society to traps

Funny cuz its true

I could prolly manage to make the modern toilet. Make a fortune off those. Or could prolly develop the first car. I know enough about basic mechanics, there'd prolly be a little trial and error tho. Hmm, cuz maybe do like electrical stuff. It'd again take some trial and error. I could start a like think tank. Like a group of scientists and engineers to help me design things based on my knowledge that they exist and are possible. Can maybe develop the radio. Oh I could make the first plane, or helicopter. That's all if I wanted to provide new tech. I could instead just get rich and buy a private army and use it to wipe out all the niggers in Africa. Make the muskets and pellets myself. Could change the world.

Moving to germany a write a book for Emperor Wilhelm II how he will win WW1

Imagine what happens if the Middle-Powers won instead of the Entente

I'd look for your ancestors to make your sure your never born OP you fucking fagt
I'd starts selling flesh lights

Its 1500 so stop dus shiet and roleplay u attention seeking faggot.
I saw ur gay post in 4 threads within 15 min.

join in or get a life

I'd bury a time capsule full of dragon dildos, it would confuse the hell out of archeologists.

I'll tell publish a book on sorcery which also predicts the discovery of america, space travel, and the internal combustion engine. I will also include long essays which disprove all existing religions, and prove the world is run by reptilian jew overlords who must be eliminated at all costs. Also i will include essays supporting the future works of hp lovecraft. Years later, some historian will read a copy and realize that i predicted stuff and assume the rest of it is true as well.

This guy is Sup Forums in a nutshell

Noice

Kek

London just got itself a new village idiot, then.

Kek

I can teach all of them the story called: "Don't install Windows Vista". Scare the shit out of everyone with bad performance and enormous updates

Invent the plane, ya dummies!

I will tell them that they can save fifteen percent or more on their car insurance. Someone is going to say something funny that reveals this is a Geico commercial.

Electronic and electrical engineer here. Push them to XXI century

predicting the cubs winning the world series

I would bury a dog wearing a crown and cape to fuck with archaeologist

what I always find quiet telling about that experiment is that most people today are so specialised, that they could maybe point out singular things of a theory but could not overall recreate the entire thing if they tried.


I for example have had like 6 years of chemistry in school and can read and understand research papers in that area but i could not really jump-start the thing in this scenario.


a normal human teenager has more overview over science than the best scholar from these times, but what use are single puzzle pieces if you can not connect them.

All you smarty pants dweebs saying radio and electronics and shit. How will you set up the infrastructure to make that kind of shit in the first place?
With the tech they have it's all gonna end up like Flintstones-esque approximations, or god help me, Steam Punk style shit.
Is that what you nerds want? Real life Steam Punk?

I'll go into the church and become wealthy the old fashioned way

all my yes

How do you think Dragon Dildos were invented? They're from future time travelers. Their dildo designs all correspond to extant species from future Earth.
They were sent back in time as a prank by time-rebels, and subsequently discovered by some people who then started Bad Dragon.

I guess newton was not born yet so we could teach them newtons laws and thermodynamics.

does not do much on it's own though.
-maybe the concept of steam engines and the basics of flight.

-gunpowder

-also disinfection during operations.

many people say penicillin but honestly do you really know without looking it up how it is created.
if you just experiment with mould you wont get far. The original discovery was largely based on luck.

basically we could give them a basic idea how certain things could be achieved

Advance the hemp industry immediately

The West had gunpowder in 1500. Gun technology was very primitive, though. Show 'em how to build better guns and you've got a winner.

I'd tell them to start breeding the smallest, ugliest dogs they could and their ancestors would be millionaires.

Zeppelins

Bury a time capsule full of movie spoilers

I would kill every rothschild before they went to america.

I would write books on why the governmt needs to steer away from economics and education.

Steam engine

Newton's laws

Self contained round of ammo

Rifling

mechanization and industrial revolution before Marx was born so no communist manifesto would exist.


I could go on and on

kek prepare your anus

Toothpaste

What about a big tittied police girl?

England + Electronic power and engineering well the whole world would be speaking English

I'd end up being the homeless, babbling village idiot - just describing shit but no idea how its made.

'A car! You know...Like a horse drawn carriage but no horse and goes BROOoooOoom'

'The Internet! Where you can instantly share memes with people in Australia'

Etc etc

I have no idea how to make most of the shit I use.

AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF...

Sauce on this wonderful trap?

I would warn those traveling to the New world to pick their own cotton.

One of the most impacting inventions that wouldn't get me killed for witchcraft would probably be book press. But might be able to build a crude diesel engine that runs on some kind of vegetable oil.

was thinking the same but I looked it upand
book press was just being invented during that time in Europe and existed 500 years before that in other countries.

Beats by Dre

I will begin making Mc Anons burgers the foundation of my political uprising and take over the world

>make a militia
>Use my knowledge of guns to make martini-henry esque rifles and make a militia.
>Take over one village at a time. Teaching them how to build semi-modern society and enforcing my laws.

>Upgrade my rifles over time and continue ruling until I claim the world.

You have to know how to make those things

>stop your self from existing
Good job

I can in to carpentry with hand tools so I think I would be okay. Could go to blacksmith and tell him how to build a few more efficient tools that hadn't get been invented at that time.

nice, was hoping to see some electricity stuff. anyone being able to build a basic motor would probably have a billion pounds before that much money even existed

>the whole world would be speaking English
we'd probably only have whites as well. it's nice to dream

Yeah man ... I'd just whip up some magnets.

Rape.

Epic loads of rape. Especially of children.

Also, Throat punches to the elderly.

And accusing people of being jewish and burning them alive.

MAKE OLDE ENGLANDE GREATE AGAINE

Numbers.

Speak in logic.

Revolutionize "modern" mathematics and win.

The old Czar era Russians already kinda best you to this.

I remember the Wikipedia quote being something along the lines of
>"a well shaven young man was often seen as just as good as a woman."

did they have fire back then?

else im fucked

I am a mechanic by trade and extremely good with my hands, fabrication and lots of things involving metal work. I could probably invent something like a crude firearm and make myself incredibly wealthy.

Then spend the rest of my life fucking nasty, buck toothed English women while waiting to die from small pox

You're fucking dumber than a hammer. Just gonna whip up some engine blocks? Go out and cut some crystals to tune the radio you've just "invented"?

bitch you are a serf living under king henry vii. you ain't gonna do shit. and metal is expensive as eskimo shit back then. good luck figuring out primers. and brass casings

you got my keks.

A big ol D for them girls. Na mean?

America had been discovered centuries ago you stupid fag and Columbus went there 8 years ago. You'd die in minutes.

I would paint endless portraits of dicks. They would become high art. I would be considered like Georgia O'Keefe, but with dicks. I would be considered the Leonardo De Gogh of my time.

its scary that traps could look this hot.

Yas! Scare the shit out of them !

That's a legit setup for a geico commercial.

An army of chrisitian crusaders confront the seracens in the middle of the desert... the ranks line up and begin to charge... then a modern guy with a megaphone appears between them and says "you can save 15 percent...etc"... both sides then make friends with each other and have a party.

I would start GeoCities and Yahoos Cool Site of the Day way before anyone else.

Thats why they are called traps, retard.

And yes, this trap is hot, but i cried when i saw the dick

Such a waste

I would convert opium to morphine then morphine to heroin. It would be totally legal back then. Ya I might start an epidemic 400 years before it should have happened but I'd be fucked up. And really wouldn't care

I GOTTA WARN THEM ABOUT HITLER!!!!

Slavery had been illegal for hundreds of years in Europe.

More efficient ways to kill people!

>traps
this legit could be a thing actually. you would have to do some shakespeare shit. women can't technically work, so you could have cross dressers in a play. GL trying to get the government to allow theatrical events.

Outside London? Pic is from fucking Sweden, so maybe outside Skumparp.

Mollies. That's what they called crossdressers back then.

>Not letting them lose to help Hitler win instead

>find some asshole King or whatever
>convince this dumbass that im a powerful wizard or sorcerer or some shit
>offer my assistance as his court wizard to protect him and ensure he becomes a massive dictator in charge of LOTS of land
>fuck with people and watch the kingdom crumble into revolution and then anarchy
>also rig the castle to fucking explode
>lure people into it and then boom from safe distance
>wwwyzzerdd strikes again
>strike fear into the heart of every peasant, noble, and royalty alike
>go into hiding and wait for them to rebuild and forget just enough
>do it again over and over until they catch me and kill me
Beats helping the retards, and it was before witches r bad. Plus im not a witch im a wizard or sorcerer or some gay shit like that i dont fucking know im just some time traveling dumbass

>Why Hitler when u can have glorious Kaiserreich without a ruinided K/D ratio

Lets see...
Biology, lots of it: Evolution, and treatment against pestilence cholera, basic hygene, maybe even antibiotics. But since i'm not a stupid fuck i wouldn't publish it under my name or even skip the evolution part because that shit gets you crispy.
Well first of all i'll need a bookpress, oh that was barely invented? So this first.
Then... Physics, especially electrics even though i doubt i'd get very far. Probably enought to make an own generator and battery, maybe some basic transmitters and receivers, but that would probably it on electrics.
Further more: Basic machinery like a very basic motor.
Maybe some other things i can't think of right now.

I like the uniforms.

Start jack the rippin in that bitch.