>be me
>Spend 3 MONTHS hording GBP
>Go ask mommy for my tendies for din-dins
"I'm tired user, and you had breakfast Tendies, now leave me alone with new daddy"
WHATtheFUCK.jpg
>I shall have the Tendies, they are my sole purpose for living
>Grab my good boy peepee jar
>Empty it on mommies new rug
>Go outside, like a fucking normie
>the fresh air burns my lungs and the sun sears my flesh
>it hurts, but I do it for tendies
>go to mommies new boyfriends car
>slash tires, use hose in gas pipe, give it nice succ
>Last time I gave a succ this nice it got me 50 GBP
>fill my good boy peepee jar with vroom vroom juice fro new daddies car
YOUreadyBITCH.gif
>go inside
>grab lighter from new daddies Jacket hung up in the closet next to my fedora collection
>enter living room and stand infront of mommy and new daddy, raise the jar in the air and light the lighter
>Fear no evil
GrandioseEntrance.jpg
>Screech at the top of my big boy lungs
"UNLESS 12 TENDIES I DO GAIN, I WILL LIGHT YOU UP IN FLAMES"
>Mommy looks scared
>New daddy starts talking, but is interrupted by the smashing of the gasoline filled peepee jar
"HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
"DO NOT INTERRUPT ME, UGLY SWINE, YOU SHALL NOT SPEAK UNTIL THE TENDIES ARE MINE!
>Mfw mommy bought me 24 tendies
>Mfw I lit my hand on fire
The best part is, the stupid cunt didnt even think about taking away any of my good boy points.
Second best part is new daddy is going camping deep in the woods where "no one can hear us" next weekend, I wonder if they have wifi?
Be me
Tendies/10
How badly burned are you?
dead meme is dead
...
I fucking love these threads
Love these threads
>be a 27 year old NEET
>wake up at 6PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, your new daddy Leroy and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicken tenders, just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungry for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable one and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let losse my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>find Fate of the Furious screen
>mummy and new daddy are in the front row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "...tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicky tendies again"
And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points
Lol
...
This is a get thread
What a G
>in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart
>mom comes in
>"user, we're having company round later, could you please shower"
>remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew)
>"o..okay shadow killer"
>throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again
>5pm now
>ask my whore mom where my chicky tendies are
>there are people here
>"everyone this is user" says my stupid dad
>scream at him that my name is fucking shadow killer
>everyone looks tense
>"hey user, what are you into?"
>tell them that I like hentai, mlp and Sup Forums
>"what's Sup Forums user?"
>that's it
>attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer
>he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my weight
>use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies"
>"what's a normie?"
>grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat
>smash it over the stupid cunts head
>shit's everywhere
>remember about my chicky tendies
>hurl myself at my bitch mom
>screaming CHICKY TENDIES!!!
>she's crying
>grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen
>say get to work bitch
>"user, you're 28, can't you make your own chicken tenders?"
>smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE
>there's a loud snap
>go back upstairs
>check deviantart messages
>can hear ambulance sirens outside
Fucking normies.
Bump for tendied
>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlies for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlies
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlies, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>everyone in restaurant staring at us
>Manager man comes and says we have to leave
>Never got my icy creamy
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy knowing that she can do something to make me forgive her
>mfw
i just realized one of the main reason Sup Forums has gone down hill is all the underagefags, and the people from /r9k/
and the underagefags from /r9k/
Tendie bumpie 4 gbp
...
>Wake up this tuesday morning feeling good
>Pull the special edition Battlestar Galactica blanket off my bed
>Tie it around my neck like cape
>Step over my piss bottles and old food containers
>It's an autistic ballet as I tip toe to the spots on my floor that aren't covered in garbage
>Finally make it out into hallway
>Rush to look at Good Boy chart on the wall
>MFW only 10 more points needed for a Double Tendie Dinner!
>Run downstairs so fast my cape floats behind me
>Do a running slide onto kitchen floor to tell Mummy the good news
>Mummy just looks at me sternly
>Says to bend over so she can check my diaper first
>"You know I have to check every morning, user."
>"Nooooo! I don't wanna!" I yell defiantly
>Tears start to well in her eyes
>She starts walking away from me
>"Wait...Ok..." I say as I lean over the table for her inspection
>Pull down my pants
>The smell of partially digested tendy shit and cheese diarrhea wafts to her nose
>She instantly vomits into the sink
>"That's minus 50 GBP!" she screams with her chin covered in puke
>I screech and rip off my diaper
>Throw it onto the dining room table as hard as I can
>Orange and brown chunks splatter everywhere
>Some gets on the ceiling
>Some gets on mummy
>She curls into a ball sobbing uncontrollably next to the sink
>Reaches up for a towel but accidentally cuts herself on a kitchen knife I left out
>She's bleeding and covered in vomit and poo while screaming how I'm a bad boy
>Quickly put on my shoes and stuff my pockets with frozen tendies
>Run to my car crying because now I'm late for class at community college
This shit is cash
Free text stories have been around since the start of Sup Forums newfag
>Birthday last week
>Mama got me the Littlest Pet Shop cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green paper in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever
the whole site is free
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee