I've lurked on /b for while now but I've never posted before...

I've lurked on /b for while now but I've never posted before. I don't want to sound like some pathetic loser but I'm going to anyway.

I'm 21 and come from a fairly affluent family, I've had sex, I do really well in university, i'm in good shape, I recently got a job a large company as an analyst and yet I can't seem to be happy. My whole life I've been told that I will do great things from teachers, friends and family, yet no matter what I always feel like i'm failing. I hate the way I look, I don't have any confidence around women anymore and everyday I wake up hating my life.

I've battled depression since I was around 14 or 15 and everyone I've talked to about it always seem to tell me that I have so many good things going for me that others don't and I should be happy about that, which is true, but I can't seem to shake the dread I carry around with me. Every time I think about it I feel worse because I'm an entitled piece of shit that shouldn't feel the way I do, yet I can't seem to shake it.

How can I be happy? What gets you through the day without wanting to cut yourself or end your life?

I'm going through kind of the same situation... You have a Kik?

no, sorry. glad to hear I'm not the only one though

Not really depressed, just doing it to yourself. Force yourself to man up each and every day. One u get the man juice flowing from some head pours the success with cum

Im in much the same situation financial/family situation OP, though i've chosen to focus on investments as a means to further my wealth rather than making a career, as I have not found anything I particularly want to do. I am learning other languages as a hobby though (Chinese is a right bitch of a language),

I'm not quite as depressed as you are though.

What steps have you taken to combat your depression?

You said you are in good shape, so why don't you like the way you look? Would you rather be fat?

What about women makes you not confident? Do you feel like you got an unfair start in life?

First step is admitting that you're a pussy .
Second step is to find a nice view to do some deep thinking.
Third write a letter to everyone with everything wrong about them in it but don't send it.
Four, jump off the ledge of whatever view it is

The only thing that keeps me going is drugs. I guess that's bad but it's better than killing myself, right?

The last time I was truly happy was about 4 months ago. And that will never happen again.

All we can do is smoke weed and shoot heroin until we forget our problems enough to feign happiness. That's just the way it is for us, I guess :/

Get a gun and shot yourself in foot, it should help. At least you will have a real problem if you do this.
If you do things that make you unhappy dont expect to be happy fgt.

depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, if you are depressed you should see a psychiatrist so they can give you medicine to fix that shit.

I've been in and out of therapy for a few years and have taken up fitness.

I can't really explain why I don't like my appearance, I think it stems from a different dislike about myself.

I definitely got an above fair start in life, something about putting it out on the line with women terrifies me, it shouldn't but I just lose all confidence when I start to think about it.

I agree completely, i just have so little confidence to begin with I can't seem to get that far

thats what I mean though, I'm a huge pussy, i mean why should I be depressed, if I look at my life objectively its amazing.

You should read some Bertrant...or kill yourself. Whatever choice seems cheap and easy to me.

Talk to a psychologist. Maybe you need antidepressants. Do not be afraid of taking them; a lot of times depression is a real pathological condition and needs to be temporarily treated. Also, you can grow out of antidepressants eventually.

Sauce my father having overcome depression and not needing meds anymore.

Maybe your right, I recently stopped smoking a few weeks ago to see if that was the problem but now I'm just sad and not high

But all I do should make me happy right? I mean beside women, my life is what some people dream theirs to be.

Sounds pretty similar to me. I'm just about the same in everything you've described. Been depressed since high school and now that I'm in uni with easy access to alcohol, I pretty much drown my sorrows in shitty beer and browsing Sup Forums all day. I'm trying to cut back on both but it's tough. I've found talking to people helps, whether its a friend, therapist, or even a random user.

I have a history of substance abuse, so I'm fairly sure that if I start taking them I'll go back to my edgy high-school self, which was a million times worse than I am now, but I have been considering it lately.

I think weed actually saved my life. Everytime I'm in a dark dark place I get super fucking high, and who knows man, maybe If i didn't i would've killed myself by now.

I definitely feel better when I do, but its almost always temporary, maybe we're just not meant to be happy people.

Yea, sounds like it isn't really appearance but your personal demons.

>I definitely got an above fair start in life, something about putting it out on the line with women terrifies me, it shouldn't but I just lose all confidence when I start to think about it.

I understand that man, that is most definitely an ingrained issue. Exercise is a great thing to do, as is therapy if you have the money to burn.

How was your early life? Would you say you were not isolated at all up to high school? Bad experiences in your formative years can reverberate.

Do you tend to feel a bit more open when you drink, become a happy drunk? Sad Drunk?

I'm starting to think that weed will have to be a important part of my life, I mean there is the possibility that I damaged my brain from heavy use when I was younger but its hard to tell.

a psychiatrist will weigh the pros and cons.

in any case, you'll prolly have to go to a psychologist first, who may be able to help you work through your issues.

you owe it to yourself dude, you beat millions of other sperm to be here.

hey, the alternative (for me at least) is killing myself, so I'll take brain damage over that any day.

My early family life was great, I never really had lasting friendships when I was younger though. I had a strange combination of being bullied when I was very young and being a bully when I was a little older.

I'm a pretty happy drunk, I get quite aggressive (not in an angry sense) and usually enjoy myself quite a bit more.

That's exactly how I feel. Regular life just feels empty but when I drink I seem to at least feel something whether its happy or sad. I know you brought up fitness which I've been trying to get back into, but do you know of any other constructive outlets that make you feel good?

I have gone to psychologists a lot, and a psychiatrist a while back. He basically diagnosed me with ADHD but said due to my history I shouldn't take drugs for the depression or the adhd, its probably worth getting a second opinion now though.

Thats a really good point, I'm going to try staying sober for about a week longer and see if my mood improves but I have a feeling I'll be about the same considering its been a while.