Need to shitpost until i can take morning meds in 5 hours. any ideas?

need to shitpost until i can take morning meds in 5 hours. any ideas?

have you ever just typed out whatever words popped into your brain?

something like

my wife eats god on july 4th with waffles

idk i'm bored and dazed

tfw you prank call someone at work and you get lectured and rethink your life as you look at your topless body with large fat rolls and patchy hair

if god has forsaken us, then who is the sake for?

there are only 3 women you will love in your life: your wife, your mom, and her mom. sometimes all at once, if you can convince your mom the other two aren't nuts.

if i told you that my stepsisters were as evil as my stepmom's, would you call me cinderella? i would, mr freud. i would...

i used to dream back in the day about starting an 80s-style punk band that's instrumentals are reminiscent of dead kennedys but has lyrics about sexual analogies in plants and animals

goodbye miss Amoire I. Canpi

i can't tell whether to listen to frank zappa about not eating the yellow snow or the wizard of oz for following the yellow brick road. particularly in detroit.

what if pandas were sick of bamboo and really just wanted to eat pancakes instead but they don't know how to make them and also don't have someone to make them for them

humans are the only species equipped to cook pancakes. if that isn't a master race, idk what is.

if there were no religion, would everybody be agnostic or atheist?
if you said atheist, you're wrong!

if we are all god's children, and jesus is the son of man, does that make him subhuman?

i can't believe it until i've seen it with my own eyes. do you have a tape of your birth?

there is no god but kim jong un and his fantastic team of swat ninjas

cause iiiiiiiiiiiiii aint got noboooooooooooooodyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

ladies and gentlemen, i am about to take off my pants.
NO DONT DO IT JOHNNY
im gonna do it, jane
NO JOHNNY NO
please jane i gotta do this
JANNY BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DONT DO IT
i gotta jane
*removes pants*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

chrome is better than firefox. i'm sorry but fosstards can't shit to save their ass.

if you become a salt shaker, do you marry pepper?

i had an operation to become a fish recently. my girlfriend had to fish my lungs out of an evidence locker and perform some quick surgery to fix me up. luckily she's a good sturgeon.

my bum is bustin for a good shake. turn up the eurobeat!!!

have you ever made love to a cactus?
it's not hard. you just have to remove the outer coating and stick your dick in it.

ouran highschool host club scared me because of traps but now i like traps so i gotta watch it sometime.