If you had a portal gun, would you use it at least once to suck your own dick?

If you had a portal gun, would you use it at least once to suck your own dick?

i suck my own dick in my dreams, good enough for me

I literally stand in the shower imagining how i would set up the portals to best fit for me sucking my own dick.

id fuck myself

>thrust pelvis
>butt pulls away from dick

Why stop at once?

no

no.

I would probably use it to kill people.

Id shoot a tiny portal on my dogs booty hole and another in the cupboard so i could stick my head outta my dogs ass and spoop everyone like pic related

one on the wall, one on the ceiling. just look up and its right there.

portals don't stick to organic/living creatures

Nah mate, I've got a woman to do that for me.

What makes you think I can't already suck it?

yeah.

That's a stupid question. Who wouldn't.

well this is a dilemma we have to solve

I mean we could put portals on walls in a tight space and have our dicks penetrate our butts even when we're just standing, but there'd be no actual fucking, no dick sliding in and out of ass, just sitting there.

I knew there was a reason I kept coming here.

you could grab your dick and move it around at least.

Put the portal up your ass. Watch your penis come out of your asshole.

This then smart ass

Have ito on a moving platform?
Yes portals work on moving plat forms.

And this

I know this is against the laws in Portal, but what if you could move one Portal and the other is stationary

nigga I would use it once per hour to suck my own dick.