Sup cunts. Lets do some roleplay. First one to reply gives me the action

Sup cunts. Lets do some roleplay. First one to reply gives me the action.
You are sitting in the woods. You hear twigs cracking. You look up and see an orc.
How do you proceed?

Open your asshole

Love the full set too

loktar green nigger

You stand up, face the orc, and spread your asshole. He steps back in confusion.
How do you proceed?

Scream "TOLO DAN NAN GALAD!" and charge him.

suck his 12" green cock

I SHOW HIM MY AWESOME B/O BLOCKING
PPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm all yours big boy."

You pull out a stick of deodorant and toss it at him. He whips it back. It hits you in the head.
How do you proceed?

Pull out an oversized weeabo anime sword, give some retarded fucking speech about my dead parents, and slash him in the cock.

Chinees met octopus

You pull out the Bimbai Chingaling. "FOR MY DEAD PARENTS who were killed in an orgy..." You cut his dick off. he falls to the ground trying to cover the wound.
How do you proceed?

Take his amputated penis, raise it to the heavens and use it to channel the energy of some Eldritch gods.

Then, of course, laugh and point at the orc. Call him a filthy greenskin, shit like that.

The gods, annoyed, at your retarded offering, blasts you. The Bimbai Chingaling is destroyed, and you hit a tree. You manage to draw a few insults out, but the orc is paying attention to his bleeding green cock.
How do you proceed?

fuck me
~blast you

Slowly stand up, walk over to the orc, and punch him until he dies. He's not even putting up a fight.

You give the orc a brutal beating. You use rocks and sticks to bash him until his skull is completely caved in. You then get up. You spot a village along the path.
How do you proceed?

Gather up the pieces of the Bimbai Chingaling, walk to the nearest blacksmith and ask if he can repair it. I'll shove some exposition down his throat about my dead parents again, as a dirty weeb.

It's all ogre now

The Bimbai Chingaling was destroyed. Not shattered, destroyed.

Well shit. The destroyed blade then. Unless you mean vaporized, my statement remains the same.

You see a village down the path.
How do you proceed?

Yeah, sorry. I guess i should have been more specific. I just didn't wanna deal with the fuckin Bimbai Chingaling. Feel free to use another action. To clarify, it's a pile of ash now

Take the orc's body to the village and offer it to the local mage.

Dragging the pulpy corpse over to the mage, you say you will sell it for 10 gold. Your response is a torrent of vomit hitting your boots. What did you expect giving a mage a mutilated corpse?
How do you proceed?

Cook orc in a stew and forcefully feed the mage the orc stew till he leaks the stew

>feels testosterone boiling after being humiliated with vomit
>challenges mage to a battle of fisticuffs

You look, but there is no way to cook the orc. You attempt to stuff the brain pulp into his mouth, but you are bashed and dragged out of the village by the guards.
How do you proceed?

Scream loudly at the guards to unhand me or I will use the power of the gods to smite the town

Contract aids

Explore your surroundings.

Kek.

You scream at the closed gate, but no response comes. The gods are already annoyed by your Orc Penis offering, they won't aid you for a while.

Explore your surroundings.

I use my black magic and summon Tyrone watermelon. I tell him the guards have watermelon.

F5

Shoot with crossbow.

You look around. Behind you is the village. TO the left is what looks like a small, well worn path. To your right is a cobble road. Your throwing out has lead to people on the road glancing at you strangely.
How do you Proceed?

Continue down well-worn path.

I walk down the cobble stone path,

You stride down the path confidently with a dagger for stray branches. A few minutes in and you hear a rustling to the side. A closer look reveals a small group of goblins about to kill a girl.
How do you proceed?

Quickly appease the gods to grant you magical powers to "save the girl."

The gods being pissed at you, bump you into the clearing. The goblins turn and draw their swords.

To appease the gods, I sacrifice the girl. Then give the body to the goblins

Run through the horde, grabbing the girl and attempting to escape.

You make a dash for the girl to sacrifice her. However, the goblins think you are trying to rescue her. One slashes your side.

I worry not, as more blood will go to the gods. I grab my sides and continue to the girl. With a knife in my hands

You stab the girl in the skull. She falls dead to the ground. The more evil gods are happy, however the good ones are not. The goblins leave you alone, seeing as you haven't harmed their meal besides killing it.
How do you proceed?

I attempt to patch my self up


Also check surroundings

You wrap your side in bandages. You remember that the path continues on.

I countinue down the path.


(Any specific armour I have?)

Look to the girl, then to the goblins. Remember your earlier bout with the mage and become enraged. Flail hands in a magical manner in an attempt to conjure some power the gods may have provided you against the goblins.

You stroll down the path, and decide to do a quick inventory check. You have a dagger, some food. and a canteen. You are wearing leather armor and boots. Just then, you spot an orc. This one looks stronger than the first.

Remember your earlier bout with the mage and become enraged. Flail hands in a magical manner in an attempt to conjure some power the gods may have provided you against the orc.

A sinister presence seems to recall your sacrifice of the girl. The orc's arms burst. It is defenseless.

I draw a star in its chest as it's still alive, and cut off its tounge. For the evil god nazleam

Approach the beast. Slit its throat, pouring its blood into the canteen for later use. If still alive, the orc is bludgeoned to death with deadly punches.

>You don't pick names cunt
You carve a star in, and cut it's tongue out. The tongue will fetch a good price. The same sinister presence feels pleased.
How do you proceed?

I then proceed to fill my canteen up with its blood. And leave it in pain.

Return to the village to offer tongue to mage.

Your canteen has water. To replace it with blood would be a waste of both water and a canteen. You walk off leaving the orc writhing on the ground. You see another village. Maybe you won't get kicked out this time?

Enter the village, seeking a deal for the orc tongue.

I head over to the village and search for a merchant

The local mage proves both toughstomached and kind. He gives you a generous 15 gold. There is a bar, an inn, and a blacksmith's.
How do you proceed?

I go to the blacksmith in search of a sword

The blacksmith has 2 swords. One is a decent one, for 5 gold. One is a high quality one, for 10. You do also need other things.

The village mayor bursts into the shop demanding the unwelcome traveller be slain immediately

BOSS ENCOUNTER
Which weapon do you draw?
>odds your new sword
>evens fight barehanded
>dubs cast a spell of your choice

Be me
>some orc just doing his thing
>some guy comes to me and waves, so I go to wave back
>then my arms are fucking gone and he starts to do santanic shit to me

I take the 5 gold one and go to the bar

you fuck off. you are not op...

Seconded.

...

For once there's a enjoyable thread on this shit board, good job op.

bumping with better shit than OP's snail-paced text-only fagventure

stop playing games made by a company that's such shit they make movies and card games now instead of vidya

You walk in. There are several kegs with taps. A bartender is managing them. There are 2 rogues in 1 corner, and a merchant in the other.
How do you proceed?

thanks man! just having some fun writing.

I go to the merchant and see what he has.

Go to merchant.

The merchant looks up. He has a leather helmet (5 g), a pair of steel plated gloves (10 g) , and some food (3 g) You have 10 g.
How do you proceed?

Props to you, btw, wht world are we in? DnD? Skyrim?

I ask for the food and the helmet.

Just any. Its fantasy. If you want Dnd, because that does have a wide scape. I will make more threads, and i guarantee that i will start with that image and filename.

Sweet, I look forward to it, hopefully not to many tards join the thread

Buy helmet and food, spend 2g on drinks to share with rogues

Buying the helmet and food, you are down to 2 g. The rogues seem stressed, like they might need some help. ;)

Spend remaining gold getting drunk with rogues

They usually filter out by the middle. And we get here, where it's real rp.

Go to the rogues. Get ready to push a hard bargain: we're in it for the gold.

Erp

You and the rogues get fucking smashed. One of them mentions that they were cheated out of their money by the innkeeper.

Loving this thread, OP.

Thanks!

I throw on the idea of sacraficing the inns keeper

You got kik or somthing?

The rogues tell you that they need their gold back first, but you can't kill him. Maybe after you finish it for them?

nah. I have skype..

I agree to there terms and go to shake their hands

Threaten inkeeper with threats of dark magic
Roll intimidation
Later sacrifice him to our new dark lord in hopes of a boon