User, what's the best advice you've ever received/heard ?

user, what's the best advice you've ever received/heard ?

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"Get a job you lazy ass bitch niglet"
my uncle

You can't force something that should be natural

Life is like Tetris: Your success disappears and your failures accumulate.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

"kys faggot"
some random Sup Forumstard said that, I wish I had followed through

Never cum in a girl's eyes like that sweetie - Mom

You get in more trouble when you lie

you are the reason this is relevant

I hope he's ghetto black

Never go to bed angry.
been married for 15 years now. wife and i take turns apologizing before bed time, regardless of who is right or wrong then we take another stab at it a day or two later, usually with good results.
oh, and it usually leads to great sex.

Haha...yeah man i was just fuckin around... wassup?

Live is shorter than you think

Not everything shiny is gold

Never waste a boner. - Grandpa

Story time

Dad is a natural runner, as am (I got all his good genes). Turkey trot was coming up, so his brother (not a natural runner), started training hard as fuck to finish a 6k. He started talking shit, so my dad entered the race last minute. They both kept the same pace throughout, but come the last two miles, my uncle started sprinting. My dad, having not trained at all for this race, still outran the fuck out of him and beat him. He went on to tell me that it disheartened my uncle, who never ran in any races again.

When I asked my dad why he didn't let my uncle win, knowing it meant a lot to him, he gave me the best advice he's ever given me:

Mother fuckers gotta learn.

Coloured people are gross - Grandma

Have the strength to never start a fight, but if someone else starts, fuck em up for life - Grandpa

My Mom once gave me that good advice. She one day sat down and looked ne deep in the eyes. Then she said "user, there is just one thing you need to know, ... OP is a faggot".

You can only give so many fucks

"We only call'em queers and faggots in this house" -grandma

Your dad is an asshole.

youtube.com/watch?v=aVlG9W1eUio

That taxes should be forced on items you buy and not what you make.

'Stay away from that arab dude'
My mom

Don't be a dummy, cum on her tummy.

Then everyone buys in China and everyone gets homeless

I can't remember the exact phrase or span of time, but I thoroughly enjoy nihilism. From that, I've taken in some of the best advice, mostly revolving around the insignificance of self and ego. It's not like a light switch, I didn't just suddenly not care, but over the course of years, decades I've lived since finding nihilism, I just feel hollow, and incapable of concern. It's bittersweet really, but mostly sweet.

Snakes will not flee just because you yell loudly at them.

Wish I had heeded this advice. Would have made my life a lot easier.

Break the wrist and walk away

Next time confuse them by Dancing naked around them

that makes no sense.

Weed gone bad. Am i a machine ?

fuck bitches, get money.

dont smoke crack.

Do your math homework&I thought Sup Forums died.

mysexywrestlingdivas.freeforums.net/

fag

never trust a drug addict

"Don't waste your time or energy worrying about shit that you can't change"

'Harder' and 'faster' make terrible safe words.

If you get it in her hair, she'll be upset. If you get it in her eyes, she'll be very upset.

Never pick a fight an ugly guy. He has nothing to lose.

>user, what's the best advice you've ever received/heard ?

1. Don't get married

2. You need to work for yourself if you want to make any real money

3. You reap only what you sow

Very solid advice.

This gets worse the older you get.

"Kill yourself"

>don't sleep with your friends
>don't do business with family
>don't stick your dick in crazy
>don't be mean to anyone
>don't loan your friends money
>don't piss off the secretary
>don't piss off the maintenance man
>don't rent, buy
>don't fall in love with a stripper
>don't eat when you're not hungry
>don't let your things own you
>don't work for free

"Kill yourself".

I hope your dad never runs again

R

Yeah I'm gonna need sauce

never go with a hippie to a second location

"That's your problem. You think people owe you something for being nice. They don't. All you're communicating to others is that it's okay to step over you. I'm not saying to go out of your way to be a massive asshole, but you should look out for yourself first and foremost; nobody else will."

Almost word for word. Changed my life.

I'm upset I read that whole paragraph for that shitty conclusion... that's not funny or good advice

In a universe this big nothing in it matters so don't waste your time trying to get fame or try too hard to become popular, just do what makes you feel like your life will be worth while because life is short. You get one shot so don't fuck it up

1. The majority of people never mature beyond the level of a teenager

2. if you're not drunk by ten you're not trying

3. They are big girls, stop overthinking things for them.

4. Happiness is a choice.

If there's grass on the field, play ball. If there's no grass, roll over and play in the mud.

Great man. I hope that story is true.

If you can't be confident, act confident.

"Don't give a fuck until it's your turn."
-The Bunk

I like that.

Well said. Kind of like my two rules of life?
1.) Don't sweat the small stuff.
2.) It's all small stuff.

Same, I read that one twice and actually thought about it and how it could apply to my life

>"Never put your fingers anywhere you wouldn't put your dick"
Friend fucked his hand moving a couch, step dad called him queer

All your advices are quotes from tv shows or movies.
Where were your dad and mom throughout your childhood, user?

I want to punch you in your mouth so badly right now

DO IT

>911
>911

Don't abandon what you can't replace

...

Best one is
You can shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which gets filled first.

The only thing you have to do in life is desite what you want to do whit the little time you have

Expect the best
Prepare for the worst
Fuck what other people think of you
Do your own thing.

GOLD

That's why I dig up fresh graves and takes those sweet ladies home and love their legs. I touch their mouths.

Ten two-letter words:
"If it is to be, it is up to me."

When people try to shake your hand, do you whip out your dick instead?

My mom's words of wisdom, don't rely on anyone else because they will fuck you over, don't rely on yourself because you'll just fuck stuff up too

Sometimes, you can find loose change beneath the custions on couches.

Random quote from Maya Angelou always stuck with me and I tend to live by it:

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

If you can't be good, then just do something good

Always have confidence in yourself. If you dont believe in yourself, who will?

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

That's why I change the fact that bodies are buried by digging them up, so I can rub their legs

take a typing class

>Maya Angelou

This term is racist/sexist/homophobic!!!!!!!!

If you want a chick to DT but she struggles, tell her to smile while she tries.

"Don't eat the yellow snow."

Bothered me a bit.

...

Sauce?

(if you have or plan on having kids)

The tighter the leash, the further they run when it snaps.

"never have kids"

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

What school do you go to, and when should we check the news?

i too was raped by my grandpa

Make America great again

this is the most reddit reply ive seen

Don't mix business and pleasure.
I did that and lost my friends and my business.

Don't go out to TRY and get laid, do awesome stuff that gets you laid.

>Story time
Thanks for letting me know up front that you're a huge faggot so I didn't waste my time reading whatever faggy shit you said

I have 3 abortions and I'm so glad, I'm thankful for them everyday