Hello everyone, you can call me Michael

Hello everyone, you can call me Michael.

Since this place is full of stories which can't be judged as real or fake, I wanted to create a little topic to get some things off my chest.

Essentially, I'm a killer and I find it strange I don't feel remorse.

I served in the military, saw action, and killed people. With weapon, knife, and bare hands alike, people who saw me coming and people who didn't. My father also served, before me, and also saw action. The thing is, I think I'm a bit different from him. I used to ask him to tell me about the fights and the people, but it's something he would always refuse to talk about. I assumed, of course, this was natural. Most of his friends were the same, and those who did tell me stories had a sense of reverence about them.

After my tours I was told to seek counseling, it was mandatory. I sat in a little room with a man who ranked above me. There he asked me about myself, family, history, and the "events" as he called them. I had no trouble talking to him about it, and because of this he insinuated I had a problem. Because I had no regret, reverence, respect, whatever you might want to call it for what I did.

I understand the world see's taking a life as something unforgiving. Though, honestly, to me the act doesn't have much weight to it. There were multiple scenarios: Him or me, clear the path, safe or iffy, ect. I killed armed, unarmed, casualty and the like. It all felt irrelevant.

I'm not saying I enjoyed it, mind you. Simply that, in my eyes, the people I killed and who died around me were nothing. People, and their lives, in general are irrelevant to me. I served because it was required of me, both lawfully and traditionally. I killed because I was forced to, and because I had the option to. Adults, teenagers, children. It just never bothered me. Still doesn't.

I just feel like I should talk about it, so feel free to ask any questions if you like.

...

That's fine.
I just felt like talking about it openly rather than having to lie to my superiors.

Fucking wonderful, the one goddamn interesting fucking post all night and the FUCKING NIGGERS have to ignore it.

This board is cancer filled with a bunch of assholes looking for loli porn and trying to convince themselves they dont like dick while looking at pictures of men dressed as women.

Meanwhile, actual interesting shit, like this, gets ignored.

OP, please tell me you're still around.

Congratulations. You're a bona-fide sociopath. Have a cookie, blend in, and if you break into my house I'll kill you just as easy as you killed sand people or whatever.

Fuck you, buddy.

I ain't your goddamn buddy, pal.
And he may be a sociopath, but you're the sick fuck pedophile. Goodluck getting raped to death in jail

A bloo bloo bloo. Bitch.

If you're intent on calling me names, pedophile, you could at least use the correct one.

I'd assume they would consider me a psychopath. Sociopath's have a small level of remaining conscience. Like I said, I lack it.

It's fine, I understand the board isn't like it used to be. Like I said, I just wanted a place to vent in anonymity. Rather or not there was conversation didn't matter much.

I wouldn't go so far as to label you a Psychopath yet.
The fact is, people are just changing. It's become more normal to be antisocial or indifferent. So it's only natural some of us would eventually stop caring at some point.

I've never had to kill anyone, but if it came to it I think I would be able to. Just calm down and think rationally, you realize, like you said, either you or him.

I wasn't even trying to insult you, it's just a descriptive term that fits what you described. Kind of like the word "pedophile", now that I think about it.

>Sociopath's have a small level of remaining conscience.
Hardly. They can just blend in better than your average psycho.

My point is, you're not special.

Fuck off Darth Sidious your resurrection is no longer canon

Did you enjoy it, even a little?
When the decision to do so wasn't forced, but you did it anyway?

Indifferent I do consider myself. I have trouble with empathy.

Rationally speaking, it is normal. The issue being that the majority of people don't see it that way.
During my therapy sessions it became abundantly clear that being honest, like I'm doing so here, would just end up getting me in trouble.

Regardless of how rational the answer was.

I wasn't trying to insult you either but, clearly, you got the point.

I realize I'm not special, no one is. Like I said, I just wanted to be honest for a change. I've had to lie to my superiors about the whole ordeal and it became a discomfort.

Also, I do study psychology and, from what I learned, a sociopath tends to be more emotional and will often lash out at others without any regard for their emotions. Then try to turn the situation to make them the victims rather than those they hurt. Often considered "hot-headed" or just overly emotional.

A psychopath will simply remain indifferent to the situation and bend it to their own accord.

Not that I'm a psychopath by the way. Just trying to clarify the two.

I don't remember reading in the Dark Sidious book that he served the military.... Was that your attempt at an insult?

Not really.
It was just an "obstacle" in the way or a "mess" I didn't feel like cleaning up.

In all honesty, when I killed, I didn't much care at all. It was just a means to an end. The majority of the time was I was just thinking about rather or not there would be repercussions afterward.

Whats your goal in life than if you are a killer?

I too am Michael. I feel like I have these tendencies too... although I work in a much different field involving death. Im a nurse. Now, I don't purposely cause it and infact I do my best to prevent it for my patients, but not because I care so much about their actual lives but more so because I don't want to get in trouble or lose my job/license/career. Death happens frequently where I work, and I saw it a lot more gruesomely and more often when I worked in the shithole of a county back on 911 ambulance. I think back then I actually cared. I think back then it bothered me some when a patient would die, never the old or the somewhat expected, just when some sap was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe after seeing it enough I just stopped caring all together?
The thing that scares me now is how little it effects me and how I've thought about actually going out and killing. I have no desire to rape or cause misery or harm "innocent" people but merely a desire to eliminate pieces of trash from this earth. Mainly people who are destroying society or people who are putting a disgusting dent in humanity. Lobbyists, dirty politicians, scumbag lawyers, scumbags like shrekeli or whatever that pharmaceutical fucks name was, extremist feminist man hating cunts, kkk/black panther/Blm/westboro fucks. Basically I just want to cleanse society one by one secretly, never getting caught and stop waiting for it to happen on its own. Course I'm really comfy with my life now so I'm not apt to act on that. But hell, if I ever lose it all and feel like I've got nothing to live for, then that's how I'm going out. A couple year long random scumbag killing spree too sparsely spread out to be connected.

There, there is my random train of thought rambling.

>I realize I'm not special, no one is.
And that's probably why you don't feel anything from it.
You're a hunter; you kill your prey dispassionately.
You just don't feel the generations of bred-in "OMG we're different killing us is wrong" that's supposed to separate killing a human from an animal.
It feels like you're killing an animal; and there's nothing wrong with that. You are.

Lol what a cancer ridden post. Op is in the fuck chairforce jacking off behind his desk because he has literally never touched a woman and wants to feel cool so he comes up with the great idea to post this sad fucking excuse for a story that was literally made up as he type. Kys Op

So are you asking are we human?

Or are we dancer?

pics or it didnt happen faggot

Pretty sure we're human. Unless dolphins can type.

I just "exist" because I'm here.
I suppose my only goal is to not end up some bum on the street.

or in jail.

The first time I experienced combat and killed I also got a bit scared. When the adrenaline went down I started to realize I didn't much care for the lives I took, and that worried me a bit. So it's completely natural at first. It just eventually runs its course.

Can't say I feel the same about cleansing the world, though I can understand it. To me it seems logical, from a certain viewpoint. I do feel like if I ever have nothing left I might just cut loose for the hell of it.

It is nice though, to see someone else with the same thought process.

That, actually, makes a lot of sense.
By all biological standards we are animals, so it only makes sense that some of us realize this and thus become indifferent to the fact.

I never saw myself as a psychopath, nor assumed to be. Though as simply following a primal trait, that makes it seem more logical.

You don't have to be here, if you don't want to. Why waste time insulting someone? Especially when it's completely fruitless. You do realize, if it gives you enjoyment to write this, you're absolutely lowly in life.

He's clarifying a key difference between psychopathic behavior and logical.

At least, in my opinion.

Yes, let me go ahead and take pictures of people I killed for any given reason.
This way they can be found, I can be arrested, and I can get executed for warcrimes.

Wonderful plan.

Let me get you a coffee while you wait, one lump or two?

Human is still animal.
We're just animals who somehow evolved to develop "social standards"

Are you the guy who keeps writing "what the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch..."? Is this now the other side of the coin?

Ever considered going out for some CIA type black ops work, assassination & such?
Someone dispassionate, no remorse, yet not a psychopath seems the perfect balance for such work.

Sure.

Roll credits, written by: M.Night Shyamalan

It doesn't work like that, my friend.
It's not like the movies where you get found or find them.

That sort of stuff is out there, but it's a whole different kind of way to access. Stuff a bit beyond me. Black bag operations are hand picked individuals who often enough have served for a very long time, or are completely disposable. I consider myself neither of the two.

They are also not "enjoyable", I'm not afraid of death, but I'm also not suicidal. Black bag operations will neither make you rich, nor give you prestige. They just roll the dice on your lifespan a bit more often. If I enjoyed killing, or was paid enough, sure. Though it's neither in this case.

I have done mercenary work, which paid very well. That much I do when possible.

>we are animals
>social standards

Exactly, it has been a cultural taboo to kill other humans in civilised society for a long time and this is reflected in people's attitudes toward killing humans. The cultural taboo has shaped their perceptions along with. Maybe there is a reason for the cultural taboo. A natural disposition to empathize with another human more than another animal. However, maybe some humans become desensitized to killing out of necessity, and this empathy lowers to maintain one's own emotional stability.

There is nothing wrong with this.
People over-sentimentalize life because they fear dying themselves.
You had a job to do and you did it. You didn't sentamentalize or really feel anything for it. This is okay.
Don't let anyone tell you different.

or maybe we're simply reverting back to our primal selves.
You can't deny that society has become more and more distant from one another with the passing years.
Indifference has become more common amongst people, and maybe that's what is reverting our emotional state back to primal neutrality.

Maybe I'm just a result of dealing with indifference to the point where I logically came to the conclusion of just reverting to a primal self for my own sake. I suppose like a self-defense mechanism in response to combat scenarios. Rather than breaking down or developing mental disorders, my organism just developed the logical thought of primal reasoning to prevent regret, fear, compassion, ect from impairing my judgement during wartime scenarios.

I really dont, it's just a matter of constantly having to hide my actual beliefs due to a "over-sentimentalized world", as you put it, who would otherwise brand me a psychopath simply because I felt no regret in my actions.

Have you killed since you've be out of the service/merc? Or should I say killed while not on duty? Not asking for incriminating stuff just curious if you ever did it outside of a war setting.

No, I've thought about it in the face of ignorant or just wasteful people. Though logic always prevailed; in the sense that I didn't want to risk getting caught.

If I were given opportunity to kill with impunity: I might, depending on the scenario and victim.

Not out of enjoyment, simply if it served a purpose to me.

What do you mean by wasteful people? And the risk of getting caught is basically what keeps me from acting out on permanently eliminating these same types of people.

People who waste air with their bullshit. Privileged rich assholes, thugs, gangbangers, thieves. The kind of trash that takes advantage of us and society just puts up with.

Would you chose to be able to feel anything if you could? Por would you rather stay the way you are right now?

Or* I apologize for the mistake

Ahh, you and I are alike in this aspect.

I rather stay the way I am.
I've seen so much shit, truly evil and barbaric people, that I just don't see the point in feeling.
Why bother? So I can stay up at night, wake up screaming, so I can let some barbaric scene haunt me?

It's useless.

I'm starting to think there are a lot of people alike. We just don't have a place to speak freely and find one another.

I see, you do have a good point in that.
Thank you for sharing your story, it was pretty interesting and great food for the mind.
Hope you enjoyed sharing it as much as I did reading it.
See ya around, Michael.
-John

I did enjoy sharing it, more than I thought I would.
It was a pleasure, John.

This isn't an interesting thread you fucking pissant. It's just another bored faggot making things up in his pitch black room at night while the glow from his monitor lights up his obese figure.

This thread is filled with edgy faggots.

Just like every other thread.

Interesting point of view, you're not the first one I see with this mentality. It seems to me that the younger generation is less sensitive to killing than the previous ones. That's probably why so many love Islamic terrorism.

Sounds like you'd be better served going elsewhere, friend. Maybe reddit?

>hohoho
>le go back to le leddit meem
>that will show him

Thank you for proving my point you candy ass faggot.

you are the same fucktarded OP from last "i'm a psychopath" thread. You are a transparent nobody compulsive liar.

You seem like you are truly neutral person. Not driven by any "evil" or not riding towards "greater good" or whatever it is called. Because in the end its all relative and depends on point of view.

I think you just want to do what's best for you given the set of cards that life dealt you. You just try to make the best out of your situation.
Some people are born into rich families, some are not. All have to deal with what they have.

You ever think we as people of earth will unite under one banner and leave squabbles between us and reach for the stars?
I bet theres plenty of battles there anyway so why waste time on things as little as border problems around a patch of land?

>uses the term "edgy"
>but I'M the candy ass faggot here
Are you only capable of using long-expired buzzterms to articulate your thoughts, cum-gargler?

Like I said before, why bother posting here if it's not to your liking. If negativity of the sort brings you entertainment, then you're the "edgelord fag" you seem to be labeling others.

Like I said, it's probably due to an increase in the indifference of others.
We became more compassionate over the years and now we seem to be reverting back to our more primal selves.

I could quote you, seeing as how you're exuding the same behavior.
Instead, I'll just let it sink in on how you made an ass of yourself calling someone out who just called someone else out.

Never said I was a psychopath, nor are you obliged to be here.

I seem to be repeating myself a lot.

I think society will never really unite. It's in our nature to want something someone else has, and to seek after it.
We'll always envy, always love, always hate. It's in our nature.

The only thing which could unite our species would be fear, but that would only go so far.

We're "unique" and that makes us squabble over petty differences.

Personally: Black, white, asian, gay, jew, american, whatever. I don't much care what you are, as long as you don't get in my way.

you're just feeding the troll.

This guy fucking gets it.

It would be funny tho if by any chance every person in this thread would somehow just pop into the same bar. There would only be a bartender only and rest would be people from this thread.
I wonder how many of them would just run away screaming ...

and then it would be very interesting to just sit down and order a glass of vodka, scotch, beer or whatever is your drinking preference and talk.

I doubt any of the people who show up just to "talk shit" would ever so much as walk into the bar, let alone have the balls to actually speak out.

Though yes, human interaction would be far more enjoyable than through a screen. However, we make good with what we can.

As for drinking preference. I don't drink much, dislike inhibiting my senses. Though, when I do, I prefer scotch.

Plot twist
>the bartender is one of us

I actually worked as a bartender to put myself through college, before going into the military.

So, you never know.

Regardless, for now I have to be going. It's been immeasurably fun.

Thank you all for your time, it's been a pleasure and honor.

Maybe one day we'll see each other around, maybe in the next life.

Till then.

You know this brings ti mind these rekt threads you see these sick minded fucks love to post of children getting beheaded and shit, I don't if they are kids or just terrorist utilizing Sup Forums for entertaining each other. But I do know if they are not not none of these kids could handle seeing that in person and think it was cool. Probably would make them stop looking for shit like that.

What branch? Did you go to any specialist schools?