Hey Sup Forums, I need help.
I am a 21 year old guy, that is studying software engineering. The thing is, I have no friends, I am 3 semesters behind, I have never had a girlfriend, I never really interact with anyone, I keep failing my courses (because of depression and being a procrastinator), etc. I think the hardest thing is feeling that I will never be happy, and that I will never be "normal". I envy all the mundane shit I see people doing, like walking with other people, going to someone's home, chatting (I am terrible at social interactions). And to add to that, I also feel that my parents deserve someone better than myself. I am now not getting good sleep, and that causes my hearth to feel weird, I think there's a chance I will have a hearth failure young (I'm not fat, just really stressed).
Besides being a bad son, I am a terrible brother. I never really interact with my brothers (who are younger than me) as a brother.
When I was younger, I always thought I would be a happy person.
Another thing that bothers me, is that I kind of don't allow myself to be happy. I am always cynical, I don't like dancing, or partying (not that I have been to an actual party), etc.
I feel I am too stupid to be happy and will forever be lonely and sad.
It's 4:35am here, I just can't sleep because I am thinking of this stuff, and wanted to tell someone. Thanks.
If anyone has any advice, I will read it. Thanks.