Need your help /b

need your help /b

I feel like life's breaking apart
here's the reasons why

1) I feel like I'm a total misfit. While most of my friends are always talking about fucking, partying, football etc., I feel disconnected from this stuff. I've never really been one for parties (and since I wasn't very popular in school, I was never invited to a house party). I'm a 25 year old virgin, yet I don't feel like I'm missing out on sex, I still wish for a gf though, but not one that's only interested in sex, but in just being together (if you get what I mean)

2) I feel like my friends and I aren't really compatible. While they have the interests mentioned above, I'm interested in long discussions (e.g. about politics(, music, movies, culture, history etc. I have one friend from further away who shares my interest and last time we met, we talked and discussed for 9 hours and it felt like one of the best times I've had in the last few years. If I met a girl who was like him, I'd marry her

3) I lack a drive to do anything. I'm currently working on my master's degree as well as working besides college. The only drive to go to work is that they pay me very good money and for the first time in years (We are quite poor) I can afford most of the shit I want thanks tio it
College isn't going so well since I lack the spirit atm and every time I fuck something up (failing a class, not being able to do an exercise), it gets worse and it feels like I failed in life. Right now, I can't even solve some simple thermodynamics exercises (since I switched college, I got thermodynamics as an requirement for the masters) and every time I try, I get easily distracted and/or can't even find a proper way to start

4) It's the weekend and I don't feel like going out or seeing someone, even though I know that way I'll never find a gf

5) Whenever I fail really hard (fuck something up, fail a class), I get thoughts about just quitting, if you get what I mean

WTF is wrong? Am I just an asshole?
>inb4 fag

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Yea probably have unlikable traits similar myself. Im in a very close situation only have friends who hang out with me because of what i have, they either feel bad and none of us have very much in common. I plan on going out nding a job and bettering myself today keep your chin up op life can seem so down sometimes but you need be the one to change it. Fuck fake friends focus on yourself.

>Get Atkins for thermodynamics, your library should have one.
>work hard on Atkins
>dont pretend studying is easy going
>be happy you have a fucking bachelors degree
>im feeling same as you i think it goes with being intelligent and certain life experiences that you develop this feeling of unconnectednes.
>try finding friends you like and behave like you want to without caring what others think

youtube.com/watch?v=hfstwnWqLHY
Watch this.

thanks
Well, they aren't fake, they're quite nice people, and I've known them for like forever, and they sometimes ask me to hang with them, but most times I don't know what to talk about
there's only the guy mentioned above and my best friend, who I can always talk with since he's smart and knows enough to keep conversations alive

youtube.com/watch?v=oE2y46VVBp8
And this.

(Keep walking brother.)

thanks
my problem is that I'm not the "go out, meet people, become friends" type
I always hear about my friends when they talk about "yeah, I met this guy/chick, total cool, got their number, doing something on the weekend" and I'm like "what? I met people around 3-4 times and still haven't got their number"
plus, when one friend brings someone around, the new person seems to like everybody except me at the end (since I'm awkward and say awkward stuff)

Yeah you need to ask people of their number if you want to connect cause most ppl dont reach out of their own, just like us.

yeah, I figured, but I did/tried this so often, that I grew tired of it and started thinking "now it's their turn"

wow, that was deep, but I understand

>tired
So... You are getting tired of asking people out you actually want to meet and spend your time with on something ?
Why ?

stop whining
find compatible friends
realise there are bigger problems in the world
if you really want change then only you can do it

Maybe you are not destined for friends, and maybe that is ok.

Your disconnectedness will stop the second you stop trying to live your life to other people's expectations of what your life SHOULD be. That includes people you know, family, society, etc. You only like hanging out with that one person, then only hang out with that one person, even if you only see them infrequently.

Now, your masters, if you feel that down about it, then it's time to drop that too. Because life is too short to be feeling 'stuck' in situations that make you unhappy or miserable. If you think it's important, then defer it, or worst case, move down to one class a semester so you can keep chipping away at it. Sure it will take a lot longer to finish the degree, but it will be better than burning out and failing it entirely. Once you are down to one class and it is more manageable and less oppressive, that's when you can start focusing on other things in your life.

Which brings me to the next step, start focusing on things that make you happy. You will never find out what that is while you are stuck in a situation that makes you miserable. You like the job that pays you well? How about investing your extra time into that, innovate something there, bill more hours, improve a process to save money, whatever it is, do it. You will more than likely end up with more responsibilities, more money, and more satisfaction in your day to day life. Then, if you get into a mangement position, you can start to decide who you do and do not hire, then you can choose to hire only people that YOU like, people that will be a good fit to YOUR team. You can sift through all the applications and choose to have someone who YOU think will be an enjoyable person to be around (99% of hiring managers pick someone who is more like themselves than not, because that's what THEY perceive to be desirable traits to do the job that THEY do). Suddenly, you are getting paid more, enjoying your work more, and

no, I kept getting tired of always being the one to make the first move
always saying "hey, let's meet up" "let's learn together" "let's drink a beer together"
why aren't they asking me for a change? Don't people want to hang out with me? Or are many people not capable of being nice anymore?

getting to spend your work hours with people that you are compatitible with and ccan have a laugh and joke with, and maybe even drinks after work now and then.

Although you do have to make sure that you keep a line well defined in some regards. They can't see you as more than a friend than a boss. So no big boozy nights where they see you do embrassassing things. It's usually enough that when someone fucks up that you call everyone into your office or a meeting room and come off super angry and lay down the law.

I don't know bro, if this isn't for you then go fuck a prostitue or something. But I'm telling you do something.

look i know how you feel. i know you said you didn't like to meet new people but you won't get around it. but it is important you try to meet similar people and not just some random normies. i don't know what you do for a living or where you live but look around for likeminded people. try to join a club or a political party if you are interested. these kind of organisations are usually friendly and you will be able to go once to check it out.

I feel like many people just are in their own bubble if you know what i mean.

thanks
well, I like my friends and I'd hate to let them go

well, I actually am trying to do what I want, and that includes my masters. Even though it's like being kicked in the groin sometimes, I like what I do, I like the fact that it's 100% compatible with my job, and I like looking at the time when I finish plus the proud faces of my family, and that makes the suffering worthwhile, even though sometimes it feels overwhelming

It's just that there are times (like evenings on weekends spent at home) that you start to have this feeling of being a total loser since others (including your friends) have own apartments, cars, girls etc

I feel the exact way and no amount of self help on the internet helped me. Including enough philosophy to fill a library and enough psychology to get me a degree.

I am broken.

maybe you should have visited a psycho doc tbh.....

damn, sounds harder than what I'm feeling

Or go for a run every day. To the point where you can't run anymore. Hard exercise kills depression dead. Like the run rising and banishing the night.

Night only comes back if you take too many days off from hard exercise.

It took me nearly 3 decades to learn this. The happiest, and rarest times for depression, was when I was running hard. And I don't mean going for a 'jog' a few times a week, or walking, or lifting some weights. It doesn't work anywhere near as well if you do this. It has to be RUNNING and running HARD, until you can't breath anymore. Preferably sprints until exhaustion, and then jog or walk, then sprint again really soon.

Do this every day and you won't recognise yourself within a few weeks. Although you will start to feel different by the end of the first week.

...

yeah, I noticed that running kinda is good for getting nasty thoughts out of your head
even though I prefer jogging, same effect (for me)

aaaaaand I'm too fat to actually run a long distance since I start eating/drinking sugary stuff when I feel bored / down

You have to be in a bad way first to need the HARD running method. But if you are or have been in as many bad places as I have been, nothing short of HARD running will fix it.

I slipped into jogging, and long brisk walks, and the occasional medium intensity run, and it was insidious, they helped a bit, but it was diminishing returns. Then, before I knew it, I was back in a place that was starting to feel all too familiar

Just eat more lemons user. Lemons always help.

boy, sounds like you fell deep, hope you're better now and also hope I'm not that deep down

Hey, OP. Don't come to us with excuses, come with solutions. Trust me, I get it, there are some of us who are not fit for social interaction and thats OK. Im perfectly fine with hanging out with my friends and drinking and experimenting with drugs etc.. etc... However, I am NOT a fan of HUGE RAGERS, BRO! They fucking suck, someone tries to fight someone, someones house gets fucked up, cops get called, whatever.

you're still young, use this time in your life to work on yourself. Get a gym membership, lose weight, build confidence in yourself. If you don't have confidence in yourself who will?

which atkins book do you mean?

>1) I feel like I'm a total misfit. While most of my friends are always talking abo....

Are they friends or just friendly associates? I have "friends" like yours and while they aren't bad people, they're just people I very occasionally hang out with, not really friends.

I don't really know what else to say. This is it. This is the rest of your life.

ur an introvert. u dont mind socialising as long as its with people you know and like already,with people you dont know its often awkward and you never want to say anything because itl come out bad(especially if its a friend of a friend), in small groups, and prefer to not go out than go out

miss-wrote that
you prefer to socialize in small groups*

I consider them as friends, one of them I consider my best friend

well, I like going out (at least occasionally) but I prefer a good bar over a club
and the others prefer clubs and one prefers not going out ever

Sounds like you need more vitamin D in your diet.

vitamin..... Dick?

>I consider them as friends, one of them I consider my best friend

One of the main issues(?) that I have with my "friends" is that my interests don't really line up with theirs, mine being geek/film shit and theirs being clubbing. And this late in the day it's a bit late for me to make friends in geekdom considering how mainstream and commercialised it is.

So if you do consider them your friends, do your interests align with theirs?

Get new friends that you fit in better with
I get drive by thinking of going home and fucking around when I'm done
Not everyone is a go out person, just chill at home with your new friends and get some pus on the couch
Ur all good m8 everyone fuck up and I've been there too, shit gets wayyyy better

well, some do, some do not
as I said, I like discussion, music, films etc. and most of them only like clubbing, fucking and bullshit
but sometimes, it's nice to just relax and join in on their bull
even though it would be nice if they'd share more of my interests
At least they know some movies you can talk with them about

>2) I feel like my friends and I aren't really compatible. While they have the interests mentioned above, I'm interested in long discussions (e.g. about politics(, music, movies, culture, history etc. I have one friend from further away who shares my interest and last time we met, we talked and discussed for 9 hours and it felt like one of the best times I've had in the last few years.

Take that friend into places where you can meet other like-minded people. This is your chance, it close to impossible to do it on your own but so much easier with one other person.

Probably borderline personality disorder user.
Hang in there, one day we wont have to suffer anymore.

>Get new friends that you fit in better with

How exactly?

>Probably borderline personality disorder user.

He's not (completely) mental, he just got fucked by God, who is his infinite wisdom, decided to place user somewhere where he would not fit in.

Just because they are nice doesn't mean they can't be fake, fakies are everywhere my friend you just gotta keep the reals ones you find and

You are working on a masters which is more than any of these fags have, good for you.

*Don't give up

I wish you all luck coping with yet another day on this spiral ride to madness, may you one day get off this wild ride and get to start a stable and a happy life.

You dont just go out and get friends, they're not a can of beverage.

Friends have to be EARNED.

Your problem is low Testosterone, vistit /fit/ and they'll find a way to fix you

It's clear to me that you need new friends. Not that you should cut ties with your old ones (unless you want to). A good way to start is to join chatrooms. Discords, Teamspeaks, doesn't matter, as long as you can find people to play games with and talk to.

This is all you're gonna get OP, some vague fortune cookie shit.

I've spent my nights wishing for death, begging God for someone real to talk to but nothing comes around.

You still have a real friend, don't lose contact with them.

how did you figure? I mean, what happens when you're low on testosterone?

He's just fucking with you, sorta. Getting /fit/ is good for your body but you can still be a /fit/ loser.

>I'm a 25 year old virgin, yet I don't feel like I'm missing out on sex, I still wish for a gf though, but not one that's only interested in sex, but in just being together (if you get what I mean)

Trust me, it starts gnawing at you.

Im in your exact situation.... i don´t know....

you might have depression, could consider seeing a mind doctor

His depression is clearly linked to his social isolation. How are pills going to help?

This is it. There is no escape from this except jumping off a bridge.

yeah not gonna do that

OP, I'm in a similar situation. In the last 7 years I've felt that I don't have any friends at all, more like acquaintances than a real "friend", mainly because most people I've met don't give a shit about the things you mentioned. I feel like I'm speaking sumerian around people, no one knows about politics, movies, culture, literature or history like I do (not trying to be a narcissist), they usually know the "basic" stuff, like if they've read that from a Buzzfeed video or some shit like that, no one keeps my rhythm. I love reading or learning about the interests I mentioned, but at time I get more knowledge, people get less and less what I'm talking about. This demotivates me even more, lately this dilemma made me feel depressed in a daily basis, I ask myself "What's the point of knowing so much about anything if people don't want to know or talk about it? I'm a guy who sucks at chit chat or any trivial conversation, I could easily talk over two hours about a movie I saw last night, but sadly most people don't. I'm not saying that I'm superior and other people are simpletons, but I feel no one appreciates things in a deep level (shit I'm feeling like a fucking hipster) and their lack of motivation to learn things makes so fucking depressed, like if I'd lost hope in humanity. I usualy try to tell 'em to watch certain films or t.v. shows, but they usually end up ignoring me. I feel like the Plato's allegory of the cave at this point, some of them even hate it when I try to talk about anything cultural or historical related.
All this caused my lack of motivation in school, currently 3rd year at med school, I've done good but I feel like I'm dead inside during classes, I don't hate medicine or feel that the career overwhelms in any way, but the environment just sickens me, people are extremely ignorant and dumb, but what I hate the most is their lack of desire in trying to learn how to take care for themselves, it's almost like if they want to die.

No, youre not an asshole. You are misguided. I used to be exactly like, except for the education part, I didnt give much fuccs about education (well, but made it kinda in the end).

So, Ill tick off yer list then:
1. You and those people, you are not compatible with those people. While you may have common interests, that is not enough for a fulfilling friendship. You need to find people who are similar to you, who think in a similar way and have similar level of emotional and intellectual maturity (as bloated as that term may sound). It sucks that you only have one friend, but better than nothing. Find more like that person.
Anbout love: Same applies here, you need to find a like minded womand that fits you. Dont say you miss dont miss out on sex, because thats most likely an excuse youre making to yourself. We humanz need sex, fact.

2. pretty much what I said above, both points are essentially the same problem.

3. You havent found your true passion yet. Stop sitting around, go out there and try out new things. New sports, new hobbies, new music, movies, etc. Meet new people. Make new experiences and you will learn who you truly are. Along the way, you will find your true passion, something you can do all day. That is the drive you need in life.
But like I said: You need to get up, and do things. Your life will not become better if you dont do anything. Be the change you want your life to be.

4. You need to find things you like. You dont necessarily have to go to parties or bars, you need a hobby, for example climbing or some shit. You can meet and get to know people there.
Or you havent found your type of party. For example, there are people who dont like the uisual type of party, with drunks and shitty pop music. Some people like to go to a hardcore techno rave. You need to find what you like. For that, you, again, have to get up and try new things.

I'm about pretty much the same even though I'm only 23 and only at my bechalor degree instead of my master.

I think you have depressions man. At least I think I have them since I lost my mother at 16. I would give you the advice to see a psychologyst for that but if you're actually like me I already know that you wont (because I pussyd out every time I had the chance)

aaaaaand numero
5. You dont believe in yourself. You tell yourself that you are a failure, therefore you have no motivation to finishe the given task. You need to see a point in what you do, otherwise there is less motivation to do it.
Again, it comes down to having a goal, a purpose, a passion for something in life. If you really want something, you can eventially do it.

First of all stop fucking watch cucked porn all the time. Grow some balls, learn fighting, the art of killing, go hunting, go camping in the fields, go hiking. Doing all those things will learn you what 'real' power is. Feelings are overrated and nobody cares how you feel. Only the strongest surives in this world.

>med school

Should people there be supersmart?

A lot of anons mentioned that we shouldn't care about other people, thus I shouldn't be worrying about their lack of motivation, but my problem is that I hate retaining info for myself, I love expressing my ideas, my POV, I love when people know more about the world around them, but apparently most people don't give a shit, most of them just care for clubbing, partying or things exclusively from school. I lack any motivation in life, I've been thinking about killing myself, but if somehow I manage to end the career and become a doctor, I'll probably join Médecins Sans Frontières so I can go to a muslim infested country and die in there by some terrorist attack.

this should be a movie

youtube.com/watch?v=VShf_MHq7TA&t=188s like the video pls!!

Believe me, not at all. You don't have to be a genius to become a doctor. You can be a total moron, but if you have the motivation to become one, you can achieve it.
tl;dr Motivation>Intelligence.

>mfw I don't end up dying and I live my entire life in a mudslim country waiting for my dead.

yeah, I guess I do, but only because I sometimes fail hardcore even when trying my hardest

>You need to find people who are similar to you, who think in a similar way and have similar level of emotional and intellectual maturity (as bloated as that term may sound)


HOW? Why do people never explain how? Should I sit at random bus stops and just start ranting at people.

Shit, life goes on yo. Learn from mistakes, dont beat yourself up over them. When something is not for you, as hard as you may true, move on.
Failure is natural part of life, do not fear it. Learn from it.

There is thing, its comes preinstalled with humans: Talking. You talk to people. You see a guy with a shirt of your favorite band. You go up to him and if see doesnt look grumpy, say "hey, nice shirt man!" and he may say "thanks! You like [insert band name here]?" and you say "Yeah I do, did you see them last year here?" "Yes, they will play tomorrow here again, wanna go see them and drink a few beers?" "Yeah sure!"

It can be as easy as that. I met people at a rave club, I met people through common friends. I met people at university.
Jeez, its not a big deal.

probably this worked for you, but the people I met mostly just brush you off if you try this

These threads never reach a proper fucking conclusion cos no one has anything remotely actionable to say.

And it seems like everything comes down to simple luck.

26 now and life isnt so different for me
I gave up on school last fall.
Gave up on friends too. Just work and relax when youre not working.

waiting for my dead.

Thats no reason to no do it. These people arent for you then. You will only know by talking. You do not lose anything if someone says "yo, I dont want to talk". Move on.

Dont make up excuses.

Be nice, be calm, dont be like a typical Sup Forumstard. Speak like a normal human being and show interest in people. If they show interest you in you, thats cool. If not, move on.

>And it seems like everything comes down to simple luck.
That's because everything comes down to simple luck, there's not a single 'guide to follow' to find friends, you just need to try your best and pray that you're lucky enough to get a real friend.

>It can be as easy as that. I met people at a rave club, I met people through common friends. I met people at university.

>rave party
Not the party/clubbing type.
>university
No longer in education
>through friends
Ha! They're carbon copies.
>Bonus round:work
Staff rotation is incredibly fast

>Just work and relax when youre not working.

After a while, that will start to gnaw at you like you won't believe.

death* lol, I dont' know how I missed that. Shitposting at 2 a.m. it's never a good idea, user.

UK bro

Well shit, look for other places then if you can.

>Not the party/clubbing type.
Because most of the mainstream clubs most people go to are fucking garbage.
And I loathe them. But I love rave parties, because they are about the music, about good music and nothing else. You will never know if you dont give it a chance.

Well, if your friends are shit, leave them. You then need to actively look for cool people. Try new hobbies, hobbies like volleyball or playing pool, climbing. Somewhere where people are. Be a nice and open person to them and you eventially meet someone worth your time.

You've got low testosterone faggot.
Go start hitting the gym, take some stimulants to help you focus and stop being a pussy in general.

Should probably just kill your self tbh fam

I know that. It gets to me, but I dont know what to work on changing.
My dream is to move, but my job and family keeps me in one spot. I dont ask much of life though. I just want free time to relax and do hobbies.
When I have consistent friends then I become more social, but I dont rely on others to feel good.

You a Londonfag too?

I got pushed to the edges of London (ina roundabout way) for not being cool or rich enough despite living there for 20+ years. I now live in a place where all the other poorfags and scumbags have been relocated to, and it's rows and rows of houses.

E S S E X

S

S

E

X

I've always wondered what essex is like. Is it like how they show it on tv?

some parts yes, id say 70% decent 30% trash

Hmmm.

Is Essex varied in terms of culture?

Like are there places for geeks to meet up?

honestly idk where geeks meetup

Dave and Busters

What's that?

A place where geeks hang out. You are farther ahead looking it up on wikipedia, as I can't really explain it.

>entertainment venue with arcade machines for holding parties

I don't think that's quite what I had in mind. Also it's only in the US.

it's same for me bro, but i enjoy every second of being alone. fuck other people

anyone know which Atkins Book the user meant?