NZ thread cunts

NZ thread cunts

Wellington reporting in

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=x-CrNlilZho
chorus.co.nz/chorus-launches-gigabit-wholesale-broadband-services-nationwide
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Congrats on getting internet over there bru

Why are IDs even gone?

Motherfucker it's the S U C C edition
user said he'd fuck a vacuum cleaner tonight and post results. Surely they'll deliver...

get out aye

No one cares about the edition, newfag

fuck u

>family planning plz respond

youtube.com/watch?v=x-CrNlilZho

we have internet that is faster than most other countries internet. mate.

>Dunedin
OP's in Welly you retard

they can also get this internet in Welly you knob.

chorus.co.nz/chorus-launches-gigabit-wholesale-broadband-services-nationwide

lads

OP here at Auckland uni, internets fucking fast in the city

fellow welly fag here

christchurch cunt reporting in

Porirua savage, you?

The city. livin that slum lyfe

Your ping is going to be shit no matter what speed test says. You cant change the fact you live at the end of the earth and your signal has to make a dozen jumps to get out of asia

someone post spaghetti butthole

that's chill back from Auckland for semester break. Fucking cold here

Yeah. i know this. lmao. I study IT and know more about Networking than other fields.

I get ~200ms to most of the United States and about ~250ms to most of Europe.

>study IT

Whitirea is a meme

Hi guys... Chch reporting in

I'm a Sup Forumstard feeling degenerate so returning to Sup Forums tonight after a four year absence. Have I missed anything?

completely wrong island, mate.

IDbro still gone

Who's got the rest of this set of nudes that were dump here the other night

I was on the TC one night and a guy fucked a watermelon. You've missed nothing.

that was completely amazing, never forget watermelon fucking guy

Was that the jazzmin parker set

Yeah that's the one

When I was in the UK I was getting 60-80ms to west europe, and 100-120 to the east coast US. You could tell the difference even though there was only 40ms difference. I dont know why anyone bothers playing online shooters down here

Fuck no. Why are ids still gone?
OK usual b stuff.

I greentexted the night I got (happily) molested by my friends mum when I was 13 in another thread. It ended up being a fucking novel, anyone interested in that kinda shit here? Never told anyone about it ever and reliving it got me up and going. Now ive fapped I'm all chilled and everything is sweet with the world

.... i don't.

ping is legit why.

I didn't see it, plz tell

Why does ping make a difference in online games? Is that what youre asking?

Im just an end user, so far from being an expert.

OK mate.... If anyone interested.

> best friend since kindy, always hanging out together. Let's call him Robert and you can call be Andrew.
> by age 12 friendship starts failing
> realise he's pretty odd and spills his spaghetti a lot
> his parents divorcing which makes him moody and cry a lot too
> I'm starting to get interested in girls, and my best friend is cramping my style
> one day I'm over his place after school, suddenly see his mum in a different light.
> she's like 29, long blonde hair, 5'5, regular size tits, good figure.
> I have no idea about signals but think she's always asking too many questions or too interested in me
> she suggests sleep over, 'its been ages since you guys did anything like that, how about it user, you wanna come over hang with us this Saturday? Robert you wanna invite some other boys too? Can get some DVDs from blockbuster and I'll order pizza hut ( 2003 13 year old god tier night)'
> my mums sweet with it, she and Roberts mum are kinda mates anyway
> bike over, see a couple other friends there, all from my grade, good vibes
> Roberts mums is a great hostess. Keeps the coca cola flowing, baked some cakes, put out bowls of chips and nuts. Pretty awesome I thought.
> she's in a summer floral dress and looks hot AF
> getting to 7 o'clock she says. Right I'm driving to pick up the pizza and gonna stop at the supermarket to get some things. I need a boy to come with me to help. Any takers?
> everyone wants to fucking go with her but because we are all retarded no one pipes up
> she says, OK I'm picking someone at random. Whoevers names is first in the alphabet has to help me
> I'm like fuck yeah score! Being called Andrew rules. Pretend to be disappointed and want to stay with mates because i think thats what i have to do. Later I put 2 and 2 together and realised she made sure just I went with her.
> she gets car keys and we are away

No i was just saying I don't play online shooters, because of the ping issue.

Evening lads, Wanganui reporting in

Capital lads, CBD reporting

So whats your faggots plans for World War Three?

die in a sea of hell fire

ey same here. you best not be in a dorm son.
Volunteer

> in the SUV she's talking about random shit, asking how I'm going, got a gf yet?
> being 13 I say nothing really and just grunt
> she says appreciates I'm a good friend for Robert, he's doing it tough since his dad and I split and I think you are a real good young man for sticking with him.
> she called me a young man, and said it in a way that made my balls tingle
> sitting at the lights she looks at me, puts her hand firmly on my knee and says ' I can't thank you enough, you are a great kid.' She looks straight at my eyes and as she takes her hand off my knee she runs her nails up my thigh
> I nearly came then and there.
> being borderline retarded I didn't think she was meaning to be sexual, just doing mum kinda stuff.
> run into supermarket with her, feel a bit like her boyfriend, and I get a kick out of being seen in public with her
> put bags in the back of the SUV. She has to move stuff around, leans forward and pushes some boxes, gives me a great view of her arse.
> Andrew, wanna help me here please, just take this box its heavy. I get close and she 'fumbles' with a box to pass to me. For a few seconds my body is pushed right next to hers. She feels soft, smells beautiful and I'm like a rabbit in headlights. She puts her knee up to steady the box and next thing I know she's pushing her knee into my crotch.
> driving to Pizza Hut I'm crossing my legs. Wearing shorts and rock hard im fucking embarrassed. Trying everything to make it go down before i have to get out.
> she's still talking about her husband and stuff, typical woman stuff
> we pull up, 'OK Andrew let's get this food!'
> oh I um can I stay inside please.
> whats up mate? Something wrong?
> 'oh no, I just think i have a sore stomach.' With total hard on im all curled over towards the door trying to hide my boner
> she looks genuinely worried and puts her hand on my abdomen. Doing so she's put her hand smack bang on my boner, the head sticking up out of my shorts and under my shirt

are you one of ben lacock's mates?

Any cunt from timaru?

preparing to fap

yeah, this guy is

no idea who that is

> first time anybody was touched my junk. And its a grown arse woman doing it in a car park of a strip mall.
> she realizes I'm freaked out and acts real cool. Says sorry mate, didn't mean to do that don't be embarrassed, that kinda this is way normal. Tell you what I'll get the pizza, you just stay here. Gives me a wink and pats me on the crotch. Like seriously she pats me on the crotch and cops a quick but decent feel.
> she's in the shop, looks and waves back at me while waiting, goofing around
> comes back with a cuntload of hot pizzas. 'Says you gotta hold these but careful theyre hot', she gets a throw off the back seat and puts in over my lap. Again puts her hand on my cock. And yes I'm still hard
> drive home nothing out of the ordinary. We are just joking about shit and I'm pretty stoked to get to pick at the pizza and garlic bread before the others
> its kind of all forgotten when we pull up, just go in sit with my mates and gorge out watching X2
> Roberts mum keeps popping in to check on us boys
> I've put what happened as an accident on her part. Like she didn't mean to do anything. Almost forget all about it
> after movie finished we all have cabin fever and run around the house a bit. Decide to do hide and seek. Its a big house and huge section with massive garage. Everyone has torches and hides.
> as I'm going through the kitchen she says Andrew come with me great hiding spot upstairs.
> takes me to her bedroom.
> like I said I'm a retard and didnt think anything of it
> she opens the walk in wardrobe and says quick hide in here with me.
> THIS is when my brain suddenly realises, OK shits just gone weird. This is adult territory here and im outta my league. This woman is gonna own me
> part of me wanted to nope the fuck out of there, but I also wanted to see what this was about.
> she closes the door and the light goes out automatically its a dark wardrobe and a real tight squeeze.

Negative, Apartment on Tory Street. Yourself?

Shadilay my friend.

I hardly browse Sup Forums these days

On Dixon. I want to murder the piss head students around the corner.

> she has me pinned up against the wall, says quietly in my ear, let's keep quiet, shouldnt find us here
> first time a woman breaths into my ear and on my neck, her whole body pushed up against me. Instant boner.
> nothing happening though
> she's just pressed against me for a couple minutes breathing in my ear
> I'm confused, she can obviously feel my dick against her. What happens next?
> I wanted to hold her put my hands on her arse, anything to break the suspense but was afraid she would hit me
> after another minute of nothing happening she pushes more into me and says 'do you like what you feel?'
> uh huh
> 'thats good, I like the feel of you too'
> silence... I'm a kid, I dont know what to say back.....
> Andrew, if I say you can hold me and see me and spend special time with me whenever you want would you keep it secret. Like just between us.
> uh huh. Actually she could have told me to kill everyone in my family and I would have agreed.
> 'ever done anything like this before?'
> no ma'am
> again you must promise to keep secret. Because if you say anything, to anyone, even another boy I will get into real trouble
> I nod, I'm not stupid I've heard about this shit happening I know how it works
> suddenly she's kissing me
> like tongue in mouth trying to swallow my tonsils kissing me. I think I try to kiss back and keep up with her but im being devoured. Ive got no experience and kissing me is like kissing a horse with big teeth
> I'm excited but scared, she is making noises like I've never heard before. Like horny AF shit.
> she says we have to make this quick. I will get you back downstairs shortly. Remember, say nothing.
> I'm thinking stop telling me that, I'll never breath a world until 14 years time when I finally blab on Sup Forums
> my hands still at my sides she tells me to hug her and put them 'anywhere you want'
> BEWBS! Zomg these are boobs in my hands
> and shes liking it. She's a hot woman, and is letting me do this to her.

what's the hall near you?

Ah capital I think. It's brand new.

post the nudez of the bachelor grillz

go on nigga

No problems at all mate. Hope you enjoy!

> she changes tack. ' OK, We've been up here too long. I better get you back downstairs.'
> I'm like wtf? Don't do this too me I'm about to explode.
> she sees the look in my face as the wardrobe door opens and the light comes on
> then without saying a word, she smiles, tells me to sit on the corner of the bed.
> she stands by the bed and pulls me forward, then gets on her knees in front of me.
> then whispers in my ear 'Honey, you just sit back and enjoy this
> i'm about to pass out. Have had about 600 hard ons in the last 3 hours and can't take much more
> she has a hand on each leg and opens them a little and getting in between them
> rubbing her hand up and down my thighs
> fingernails start fidgeting around my crotch, trying to get her hand under my jocks. Tickling my balls
> she pulls the elastic up and gets her fingers right in there. Then her face. Suddenly i can feel a tongue, shes trying to force her tongue into my underwear.
> the cool feel of tongue lapping against one of my balls is heaven.
> she pushes my leg open to get more access. Pulls that ball out with her mouth and is sucking on it. I'm like, shit this is the real thing
> I'm in heaven but I think she was enjoying this even more than me
> is humming as she sucks that single ball. My eyes are fixated by the amazing show. She says 'You liking this hon aren't you'
> her saying that just about tipped me over the edge I shuddered and kicked my knees up a little
> she takes her mouth off me and says 'You have started cumming haven't you?
> yes
> and you said you havent ever done anything like this before
> no
> so I'm going to get you to cum honey, and your gonna cum in my mouth for me
> then she goes straight for it. Pulls the front of my shorts down.
> wrestles my dick out. She's holding it in her hand and inspects it for a few moments
> looks at me, smiles and holding my gaze puts her lips around my head

this is several of my fantasies rolled into one.

...

> she has my cock head in her mouth and just stops there. Doesn't take it all in like I've seen in porn. Is just licking under my head and rhythmically sucking the tip. Puts her hands on my thighs and squeezes them so tight it starts to hurt
> that's all I need
> I start to feel it in my balls. The rhythm of her lips on my cock head feels like shes milking me
> shes only about 30 seconds into it theres no way i can hold on. she can tell I'm about to blow
> without taking me out of her mouth says something corny like 'shoot it into me baby, give it to me hon, I want to taste you'
> now she starts bobbing up and down like I expected
> I'm in ecstacy, in pain, i feel like I'm dying and in heaven
> my knees buckle up and I start cuming
> I'd come plenty times before by fapping but it never felt like this
> she is enjoying it as much as me.
> shes slurping, not missing a beat.
> swallows it all and stays on me after I've nutted, she breathing real heavy
> starts to hurt me and I pull away
> I'm so fucking confused, feel like I've been hit by a truck
> I'm tired, my legs are shaking, feel like an asthma attack
> so this is sex! Shit, I have no words
> with no need to clean up she tucks me back into my pants and sits next to me.
> 'honey, I enjoyed that. And I know you did too.'
> I can't even say anything
> she giggles and kisses my forehead
> starts nibbling my ear, says 'Andrew I know you want to do that again. I'll give you that and more tonight. You would like that wouldn't you?'
> I smile and nod
> 'OK here's what's gonna happen. I'm going to go downstairs and put the next movie on. You stay here for a few minutes and get yourself sorted OK
> you come down in a couple minutes. Don't worry no one will know you've been here. Remember our secret
> I'm starting to regain conciousness
> she tongue kisses me again
> then she puts herself back on the floor in between my legs
> I'm confused, what's she doing now?

Sorry. Molested user here. My kids crying. I've gotta sort him out. Back with more soon guys (and hopefully girls).

Looks like the pikeys have pulled out of the joseph parker title defense. What a waste of time! I figured the writing was on the wall when they wouldnt let their criminal coach into the country, but the whole fury brand is a joke now.

Parker needed a better fight than this anyway to prove he is up to the world standard

...

I don't think I've ever wanted a kid to stop crying more in my life.

so while we wait for molested user, whats everyone doing for ANZAC Day.

bump for the stroy

>66 posts
>1 nude

I'm disappointed

will goto a service in my area, there's one at 8am or 11am depending on how far I want to travel.

Would probably go to the 11am one as I can walk to that.

>66 posts
Disappointing enough in itself

How so?

bump for days then lad

> she nestles herself back in between my legs
> don't worry Andrew, just wanna do something real quick
> ?????
> she pulls the front of my shorts down completely. Exposing all my junk in its glory for the first time.
> she cups my balls up, kisses my soft cock opens her mouth wide and takes the whole lot in
> I'm looking at my best mates mum with a huge grin on her face and she's able to fit everything ive got in her mouth
> she says 'just wanted another little taste, and something for you to look forward to.'
> she fucks off and I'm lying there confused AF. I'm excited but worried word will get out somehow and I'll get in trouble.
> wait a couple minutes and quietly piss bolt downstairs.
> two boys are in the media room, Robert and our other mate are now being All Blacks on the back deck.
> no one suspected a thing
> Roberts mum goes straight back to hosting. Refills a bowl of twisties tops up our soft drink.
> she goes to the lounge to do whatever a pedo mum does after blowing off a kid and we settle in for Pirates of the Caribbean
> im sitting up the back, look at all my friends and try to make sense of what happened.
> we were all virgins, and I'd definitely done more than any of them but there was no way I could tell them.
> about an hour later run off to take a piss
> walk past lounge
> i take a leak, inspect my cock to see if it looks any more grown up, have a quick 10 second tug for good luck then im back out in the hallway
> she's standing outside the bathroom, gives me the shush signal and takes me by the hand into the garage
> she asks how I'm doing
> fine
> did I like what happened
> yes thank you (I seriously said yes thank you. Gotta have manners kek)
> she tells me to sit on the washing machine
> I ain't gonna argue
> she says just a quick play, we can have proper fun later tonight
> she kind of manouevres the top of her dress over and suddenly im face to face with one of her tits.

Time was we'd have 300'd one or two threads by now

> I copped a feel earlier but that was all. Never got to see or taste them
> just a decent handful, I thought it was huge but now I'd say she was probably below average size. Just perky, small nipple, the kind of boobs I go for now
> I instinctly know what to do
> start sucking on her boob
> shit this is nice. Like far out. I could do this forever.
> I must've got a bit hard out coz she did a little 'aaaah aaah aaah hold your horses, not so rough'
> she pulls me off her
> her hand goes to my crotch, obviously I'm rock hard
>she says 'dont get too excited hon, you've gotta go back to the room in a moment.'
> starts tongue hockey, her hands fumbling around my pants.
> she pulls my dick out from the leg of my shorts as gives me a 5 seconds handy
> stops kissing me then an instant later she has her mouth on my cock again.
> this woman is fucking nuts, she's kinda muttering stuff like, 'that's it, you suck his hot cock, you like doing that dont you you little whore'.
> before I start to enjoy it she stops
> gives me another shit eating grin and giggle, says 'gotta go gun, well continue later, I promise'.
> gives my cockhead a three second suck and walks out the door moaning like she needs a dicking there and then
> I tuck myself back into my shorts and steal a pack of chips to hide my boner
> go back into the room and sit down.
> really like Pirates but can't concentrate
> am excited about what's gonna happen tonight and the logistics of it. Not even scared anymore
> thinking to myself all sorts of shit. Are we gonna fuck? Will she let me see her pussy? How can we do anything without the other kids knowing? Will she ever tell my mum?
> stop paying attention to the movie, just sit there with a constant boner, giving myself a sly handy.

But that was back when IDBro was posting when literally every third post was his.

>I want to try a psychedelic

What would be the most easiest psychedelic to obtain in /nz/?

user your doing gods work with this story.

mushies cuz
our hero

Molested user here. Didn't realise the time.
Anyone interested in the rest? Like I said its a fucking novel. I've already capped tonight but I'm brewing up again. Looks like I'll be up for a while my sons started crying again.

Serious question. Anyone else ever had shit like this happen to them? I know this stuff scars and screws up plenty of people and I never knew how to handle it. At the time I loved it but felt real bad too, like I was lying to my mum. That first night I felt like I had been hit by a truck and had no idea what was going on. It was obvious this woman was lonely and a stupid kid was an easy lay, i dont live in that city anymore abd have no idea wtf shes up to or looks like now. Dont wanna know. I reckon if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have had sex until age 20. Dunno. Looking back I'd punch the fuck out of any woman who tried that with my kid, but hey.

Kinda. When I was in year 10 some 25-8 year old blew on new years.

mushrooms easy easy tis the season

I have no idea how to get em or what they look like.

Hawkes Bay reporting in, going to kill myself tomorrow

Can't answer your question user, or Andrew if that's your real name . probably not though. I will tell you this, this story is fucking gold. I'm hot as anything man. I wish this had happened to me. Someone needs to screencap or even publish this. Women have 50 shades, us guys could have this as our go to fap literature.

Just eat random forest fungi dude it'll be rad.
Method?

Getthelube.com

I don't want to fucking die off some random mushrooms

To answer your question:

From a purely sexual view point I enjoy the story and would like to hear more

However I am saddened by the fact that you had to experience that.

To answer you other question:

I was recently maybe about a month ago molested by my best mate, he is gay and I was straight at the time, it sorta has fucked me up a bit in the head and thrown my concept of sexuality all out of whack. I was also a virgin at the time of that happening and I guess I still am as there was no penetration just a lot of groping and blowing etc.

I know it's not the same but that's my closest experience.

Also I've greentexted the story of my mate molesting me a couple times on here before (it's fairly long) so if anyone wants to hear it I'm happy to greentext again (because hey if someone else enjoys it that's great) , I haven't got it saved though so it'll just be from memory

Grandads 12ga

Quick. I like it. I'll drink to you tomorrow HB friend.
Do the country a favor and make the news with your suicide.

when i was 10 the one of my neighbours used to make me get naked we'd grind on each other and hook up. he got his 7yo sister involved a few times. fucked me up a bit with shame around my sexuality. i started feeling really bad for his sister when i finally realised how it had effected me. i want to find them both but i can't remember their last name.

shit, thats fucked fam. hope your doing ok now.

suicide is never in the news. it's too contageous.

I know, I just wish normies would talk about it.

the internet is a vast place, try stepping out of Sup Forums sometime

But Sup Forums is my life

Chur

I think first sex sucks if you're not in control of it. Very few people could look back on their first experience in a good way if the other person was way older or if you weren't in the right headspace and taken advantage of. Like I said before i don't mind what happened to me. It wasn't ideal but doesn't in anyway compare to a young guy getting fondled or coerced by a grown arse man or kids made to do shit to please a freak.

Hey guys, don't wanna be a cunt but gotta make maybe or two more installments for the night. Happy for other anons to add their stories of course. Like I said I'm from pol, we have a NZ thread most nights. I can swing by b tomorrow night and green text what I don't finish tonight. You guys have been decent company cheers!

Bumping. Don't want this thread to die before molested user posts next chapter