Dear Israelis!

Dear Israelis!
So I just started to work in a hotel and the first batch of guests is about 500 israelis.
Can anyone give me some tips on what's offensive, what's funny, dos and don'ts
Beacuse i only really know stuff about jews from israel from movies and Sup Forums.
When can i say Oy Vey? Shalom, dom kipur and things like that.
How do i get them to like me in general?
Do they give tips, are they open etc.

Thanks for the help, please no memeing.

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Just dont mention the butchered penises

Just don't be a cunt mate, treat them like you would your other guests if in doubt

Just don't say anything anything you learned from Sup Forums

literally anything else

I don't know if i'm gonna make it.
Is it at least gonna be funny if i ask the kids if they like the fireworks in palestine?

Do it hajde

Oy Vey isn't ok?

Drop a coin and watch the heads turn

the shark said it at shark tank when a guy that was selling christmas dreidles told them his profit.

offer them complimentary croatian sausage. we love free exotic food.

Don't it's got pork

pork is tasty. israelis love it!

I work in a hotel and Israelis are the worst, extremely pushy and overly stressed about nothing

greet them appropriately

nope. Israelis are too poor to travel to Oz. we go to India and Thailand

also, they told me it's gonna be one of those people that don't use electricity on sundays?
not even the door keys, lol

what's up with that? are they cool people or coo-coo

they would appreciate if you offer them a handjob

>Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jews reveal they are secret swingers who love using Tinder to arrange kinky sex with strangers but fear being ostracized by their families if they are ever exposed
>James and Monica are part of a strict Orthodox community in Brooklyn
>They've used Tinder to pursue kinky sex and extramarital affairs since 2014
>Adultery is illegal under Jewish law, and offenders are banished from their communities, so James and Monica have to be very careful
>By day the parents 'look the part', speaking Yiddish and observing Sabbath
>But at night, the pair shed their conservative garments and go for more casual looks, appearing like any other young trendy couple in Williamsburg

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4308190/Ultra-Orthodox-Hasidic-Jews-reveal-secret-swingers.html

Saturday, only if orthodox though not every Israeli is a religious Jew but most keep the Sabbath

fucking hell.
these are, the hotel has been noted in advance so we can organize regular keys, light switches and stuff.

>When can i say Oy Vey? Shalom, dom kipur and things like that.
lol dont do that tho saying shalom is ok , just suck their dick and tell them that you love their country and shit . when i worked in the touristic industry, thats all what i did:
>oh you are from poland , i love poland very beautiful nature
>oh you are from russia , i love russia very beautiful nature
>oh you are from germany , i love germany very beautiful nature

just don't forget the six gorillion, goy

This only works with Euros an American will make small talk with you and ask you what parts of the U.S you've been to. Not only that if they catch you lying you might get tipped less which might probably be the same amount euro's are tipping anyways.

You do realize that one of the top destinations for "post-military vacations" are New Zealand.

that was 15 years ago, with the spy scandal.
Georgia is the place.
NZ is an overhyped shithole tourist trap.

Hang some shekels from the ceiling and watch them jump for it.

show them around, then throw them into a foibe