Dubs decides my excuse for not going into work today

Dubs decides my excuse for not going into work today

Say that your ass itches.

You think there is someone trying to break into your house at this very moment...and the perp looks just like Bill Cosby.

Your mom died in her sleep last night because you didn't reply to a post on Sup Forums

Touch of the scurvy

my dick hurt

This

Niggers robbed me

I needed to get my sex-change surgery

Pine cone up your ass, and you have to make a story up how it happened, even if they dont ask

my dick smells like shit today sorry cant come in

I have a stomach ache

Say your car turned into a Trans-former and anally raped you so your anus is now bleeding and you cannot sit on boss' cock anymoar. it will work for suar, trust me.

Eggnog colonic gone bad

My dragon dildo got stuck in my ass

Scrotum caught in zipper.

Nigga, Sup Forums, come on

my dick smells like farts

Close

My farts smell like dick

peepee shrunk into self. need to go to hospital

I'm OP

waste

Was jerking off to this smoke show.

that you last a pube

Winrar. Shitty.

...

that you are going to kill yourself today

Again

>hey boss, I'm sorry but I'm not coming in today. You see, I last a pube, so work is impossible.

K

Got a bit of a cough, boss, won't be coming in this week.

dildo won't come out

Rollerino

Your dog ate your homework

explosive diarrhoea which is leaving you immobilised on the toilet, screaming to god for him to take your soul and banish it to the firey depths of hell, for the pain of such a demise would be sweet sweet relief from this agony