Dubs decides my excuse for not going into work today
Dubs decides my excuse for not going into work today
Say that your ass itches.
You think there is someone trying to break into your house at this very moment...and the perp looks just like Bill Cosby.
Your mom died in her sleep last night because you didn't reply to a post on Sup Forums
Touch of the scurvy
my dick hurt
This
Niggers robbed me
I needed to get my sex-change surgery
Pine cone up your ass, and you have to make a story up how it happened, even if they dont ask
my dick smells like shit today sorry cant come in
I have a stomach ache
Say your car turned into a Trans-former and anally raped you so your anus is now bleeding and you cannot sit on boss' cock anymoar. it will work for suar, trust me.
Eggnog colonic gone bad
My dragon dildo got stuck in my ass
Scrotum caught in zipper.
Nigga, Sup Forums, come on
my dick smells like farts
Close
My farts smell like dick
peepee shrunk into self. need to go to hospital
I'm OP
waste
Was jerking off to this smoke show.
that you last a pube
Winrar. Shitty.
...
that you are going to kill yourself today
Again
>hey boss, I'm sorry but I'm not coming in today. You see, I last a pube, so work is impossible.
K
Got a bit of a cough, boss, won't be coming in this week.
dildo won't come out
Rollerino
Your dog ate your homework
explosive diarrhoea which is leaving you immobilised on the toilet, screaming to god for him to take your soul and banish it to the firey depths of hell, for the pain of such a demise would be sweet sweet relief from this agony