Ask a depressed Schizophrenic anything

Ask a depressed Schizophrenic anything

I may take a while to respond sometimes, be patient. Free (you)s for all posters

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how does it feel to attract so many demons

oi i'm glad you didn't end up hurting yourself op

No demons, only ghosts.
So not that spoopy.
Thanks for the concern, but why would I do that?

How realistic are the voices? Do they sound like thinking to yourself or sound exactly like a real person's voice?

Do you want to be my friend?

because you're a depressed schizophrenic and if you die there wont be anymore cute loli

Why are you mentally ill fuckers always posting kawaii anime shit? fucking disugsting

youtube.com/watch?v=x-CrNlilZho
Watch this op.

>I am god. I command you to kill time!

>How realistic are the voices?
When they're just talking idly they're pretty hard to distinguish. They just sound like people whispering very far off.
>Do they sound like thinking to yourself or sound exactly like a real person's voice?
When I engage with them they don't take on my voice, they always sound like someone else. But I don't hear them outside of my head very often.
I guess that's true. But I have no desire to die.
Because deep down we wish we were that qt animu grill.

but why though? Why would you want to be inferior? After all, even you mentally ill cocksuckers are vastly superior to the average woman.

i don't wish i were the qt animu grill, i wish i was in the animu grill
you feel me

Do the voices have their own personality and voices or are they just unique and random every time?

Ever got something 'useful' out of them?

This is blown way out of proportion.
Consider it dead.
>500 year old qt vampire
>inferior.
pls user.
Both are viable options, I feel ya.

Have you ever hurt someone?

Wew, hello schizOP. How are you doing tonight?

>Do the voices have their own personality
They do.
>or are they just unique and random every time?
There are some that are random and never show up again. but for the most part it's the same. They come and go though, one voice may be around for a few months then just disappear and be replaced by another one.
I've gotten some fairly useful things out of them. When i'm in social settings they will tell me how people are feeling. I can talk to them about things to get a different perspective.
Yes. I used to be very violent.
Not too shabby, I slept too long though so I feel pretty groggy.

>How many different voices do you hear? Do they change? Are there ones that stay with you all the time? Do some return when they're gone?
>What are the usual things they tell you?
>Do you talk to them and chat with them, or are they only whispering to you?
>Do you imagine some picture of people associated with the voices? If so, how do they look?

> Only Ghost

So you can see spooky ougi ?

>slept too long
Kek, Now I know why tonight started later than usual. Once it hit about 11:45 or so, I was doing ctrl-f every few minutes to see if the thread was up.

You have 1 of 2 options

1. You're deluding yourself with your victim complex and need to harden the fuck up

2. You're literally a sub-human and you need to kill yourself so you don't taint the gene pool

Show dick

What are some of the things you wish people knew/understood about schizophrenia and/or schizophrenic?

>How many different voices do you hear?
There are about 3 that I hear daily, not counting the whispers.
>Do they change?
Sometimes they do.
>Are there ones that stay with you all the time?
There is one that hasn't left, it's the primary one that I talk to.
>Do some return when they're gone?
Never for very long, but it does happen occasionally.

>What are the usual things they tell you?
They don't really tell me things unless I ask them. Otherwise, they just talk and I try to tune it out so I can focus.
The things they commonly will tell me about when I ask is people's emotions, or their disposition. For example, they may tell me that someone is depressed, or having an anxiety attack, or that someone also has some kind of mental disorder.
>Do you talk to them and chat with them, or are they only whispering to you?
I do have conversations with them like I would have a conversation with a normal person. But it really only happens when it's really quiet and I don't have anything else to focus on.
>So you can see spooky ougi ?
No, I can't see them. It's a much stronger sensation than sight. I can't explain it.

Show dick m8

how many of these threads have you made?
how many will you make?
i ask because i'd like to ask things later when i have more time.

>Kek, Now I know why tonight started later than usual.
Yea, I woke up at around 1am est which was close to 12 hours of sleep and I just fell right back asleep.
Fucking sucks.
>You have 1 of 2 options
Well, considering I never intend to reproduce, I'll never taint the already shit gene pool. Don't worry about that user.

>sub-human
Even considering the things that hold me back, I'm probably a better human than the average person by a long shot.
>Show dick
I don't post my dick on the internet for all to see.
>What are some of the things you wish people knew/understood about schizophrenia
The main thing I wish people understood is that we're not all crazy 100% of the time. While there are people who have lost it totally. That's not the majority of Schizophrenics.
And that we don't have multiple personalities. but that's basically a meme at this point
r u gay or something mate?

Ever see Comforting Skin (2011)?

> I'm probably a better human than the average person by a long shot.

You can't be a better human if you aren't human

>How many of these threads have you made
I've made one every night for the past week. I made a few about 8 months ago too.
>how many will you make?
I don't know, eventually, they will stop for a while. As I only make them around this time and my sleeping schedule will swap around to a daytime schedule. I will probably migrate to another mental health thread when that happens and then make these again when I get back on this sleeping schedule.
>i ask because i'd like to ask things later when i have more time.
These threads usually last about 8 hours from when I first make them. You've got plenty of time to think.
>You can't be a better human if you aren't human
The only way to be better than a human is to not be a human.

I had a friend who was schizophrenic and I spent as much as I could trying to help her, but after many years I decided to leave her life as I deemed my presence alone was hurtful to her.
Did I do the right choice OP?

Post it m8

Coming from a real good human.

"hurtful" sounds a bit wrong I think I meant "making it worse"

What about your family? Do they know you are retarded?

>Ever see Comforting Skin (2011)?
I have not. I'll put it on the list of things to watch.
nope.
>I had a friend who was schizophrenic and I spent as much as I could trying to help her
Did you ever think maybe she didn't want or need your help? And maybe she just wanted a friend, someone who would just understand?

>but after many years I decided to leave her life
>Did I do the right choice OP?
That's something only you can decide.

>> same guy as 730564016

What goes in your head most of the time when your schizophrenia is worse? How does your depression affect schizophrenia? Do you hallucinate as well? I am sorry if I am asking too much. I really want to understand. I admire you for surviving another day, battling your own brain. Stay strong!

Mmmm i think you dont have a dick
Show bewbs then?

I would never force help on anyone, I meant that I was there for her basically

Goin through a rough patch op? Just need someone to talk to?

How often do you go outside, schizOP?

Have you seen what cute animu girls are capable of? They are anything but average women.

she started having schizophrenic thoughts about me being some sort of supreme being and everything I said had deeper meaning, I tried just leaving it be and not doing too much as I feared I would only make it worse..
At the first years I knew her she wasn't even aware of her schizophrenia despite my hints that she was simply overthinking and being unecessarily paranoid... in the end she discovered it herself when some math in her thoughts didn't add up.

>What about your family? Do they know you are retarded?

kek
My mom knows, but apart from her, I've lost contact with basically all my family so they don't.
>What goes in your head most of the time when your schizophrenia is worse
It's difficult to put it in exact words. It's primarily just insane levels of anxiety and paranoia feeding into each other.

>How does your depression affect schizophrenia?
It really only affects it when I get really anxious, when I get anxious it triggers my paranoia, which triggers negative thoughts which triggers my depression, which then loops back into the anxiety and I'll just get caught in that loop until I break down.
>Do you hallucinate as well?
Yes I have auditory and visual hallucinations from time to time
>I am sorry if I am asking too much.
You've nothing to be sorry about.
>Stay strong!
Thanks friend, you too.
This is for you.
>I would never force help on anyone
I don't think most people would do it consciously. But sometimes we do it by accident, just by trying to be of any help we can we force it on someone.
>Goin through a rough patch op?
Every day is a rough patch
>Just need someone to talk to?
It does help.

Thx m8 i can sleep now

do you feel that your hallucinations are at least partially coming from your own thoughts, or do they feel completely independent?
do you let yourself believe them or try to stay grounded in reality?

Do you love Lain?

Like twice a month.
Occasionally I go out and check the mail, but I don't count that.
I'm almost certain that you weren't causing her harm just by being her friend. Unless you were doing something else there should be no reason for her to think that.
Sleep well.
>do you feel that your hallucinations are at least partially coming from your own thoughts
That's a difficult one to answer. I know logically that they come from my own thoughts. But, sometimes I feel like they don't.
>do you let yourself believe them or try to stay grounded in reality?
I try not to believe them, but sometimes it's not possible and it's just out of my control.
>Do you love Lain?
Not sure what you're referring to

>like twice a month
damn, and i thought i never went outside. do you at least keep your windows open and let natural light and fresh air in?

>Not sure what you're referring to
>present day
>present time
I find that hard to believe.

Can you do your best to describe a hallucination or delusion?

What are some of your visual hallucinations like? Do you have a way to tune out or control your auditory hallucinations? Thank you so much for answering by the way. I am learning a lot.

>do you at least keep your windows open and let natural light and fresh air in?
No way. Having my windows open just makes it hot in here.
>I find that hard to believe.
Are you referring to Serial Experiments Lain?
>Can you do your best to describe a hallucination or delusion?

>hallucinations
audio is just hearing whispers and music occasionally
visual is seeing dark figures, usually standing in doorways. And seeing random faces in places, usually in windows.

>Delusions
I'm from another universe.
>What are some of your visual hallucinations like?
See above
>Do you have a way to tune out or control your auditory hallucinations?
The best way to to do something else, like listen to music. I can't sleep in total silence because for this reason.
> Thank you so much for answering by the way. I am learning a lot.
You're welcome. Glad I could help

oh yeah, i keep forgetting and then remembering that you're in florida. fuck that. still, you can keep the shutters up or whatever you have. natural light does a surprising amount of good.
>inb4 florida ruins this too

>inb4 florida ruins this too
It does. Just having the curtains up makes it a solid 5 degrees warmer in here. Not to mention the nasty glare on my monitor.

man, that's ridiculous. uff. anyway, onto something else. florida already got shit on quite a bit yesterday, though it does deserve it. what would you say is your favorite color?

im currently trying to find toilet paper somewhere in laos and two of my guys are dead. we also lost our radio. how the fuck do i call for extract now

>florida already got shit on quite a bit yesterday, though it does deserve it
It really does kek.
>what would you say is your favorite color?
Green, by a long shot. I like the brighter greens more but all (except baby shit green) are great.
Retrace your steps back to the two dead guys
hop to a different time before they were killed
take a picture of them being killed
go into the past of that timeline and give yourself the picture of the guys being dead and tell yourself to bring extra TP and a spare radio.

Most states have laws about keeping the details of crimes out of the news. Florida doesn't, so they use all the juicy details to get ratings. Everywhere else is just as bad, but they don't report on it.

>(except baby shit green)
that gave me a good kek, wasn't expecting it. i have a strange one. what is your favorite texture? like the outside of an orange, or smooth glass, or wood or whatever.

yeah i learned about that just recently. i love how it makes florida look absolutely insane, because reports like that never stop coming out.

But just imagine how bad the reports would be out of Louisiana, California or New York if they had similar laws.

>Everywhere else is just as bad
Either you've never been to Florida, or you live here and you're just in denial.
This place is shit.
>i have a strange one
dis gon be gud
>what is your favorite texture
First thing that popped into my head is a wet pussy. So silky smooth.

My least favorite texture is cardboard, especially if my hands are wet and the cardboard is dry. Literally makes me want to vomit.

it's a world that i would want to be in because it's hilarious to see, but if i were to get in trouble with the law somehow, everyone knows about it. not stoked about that.

Hey user, I have schizophrenia too (7 years with the diagnosis, although after having a more steady life, ive realized that Ive been heavily psychotic most my life, throughout my childhood). Been very sad my whole life, but recently Im filled with joy. Im studying a little, got an apartment, and things are okay. Im still pretty psychotic, loads of visuals, but I am no longer totally handicapped, minimum of delusions. It can be really hard, but there is a way to be happy even though its so hard.

PS my eyes are very green.

Naw, you'd just become Louisiana Man for a while.

>Literally makes me want to vomit.
and people tell me i'm weird for having that feeling with some textures. at least now i know i'm not alone on that. also
>wet pussy
now i'm not saying put your fingers in your mouth, but the inside of your cheeks is the same kind of tissue as the inside of a pussy

>ive realized that ive been heavily psychotic most my life, throughout my childhood
I noticed that as well as I got older. I used to think that it just randomly started happening. But I noticed it's always been like this, it just got worse.

>Been very sad my whole life, but recently Im filled with joy
I'm glad things are finally on the up for you user. Stay strong.

>It can be really hard, but there is a way to be happy
I share this belief as well. But sometimes the difficulty can be too much to handle.

>PS my eyes are very green.
If you're a grill I'd marry you right now, I love green eyes.
>and people tell me i'm weird for having that feeling with some textures
I think it's a trait of the autism spectrum, so it is kind of weird to do.

>now i'm not saying put your fingers in your mouth
This warning didn't help at all
>but the inside of your cheeks is the same kind of tissue as the inside of a pussy
Yo that's kind of weird

There are no girls on the internet, SchizoOp

>trait of the autism spectrum
welp, now that makes sense.
also, perfect image to go with the second bit

Where are you from?

Also do you remember your very first episode of bad psychosis?

Ill never forget, but for years it was just weird. Didnt see the connection.

>I was around 5 or 6
>middle of the night
>looks at the celing, the corners freak we out. Seems like they are all up in my face
>lamps are the same, total panic
>runs to my parents
>my mother holds me in the living room, while im increbly scared of the lamp and hiding in her arms, but can't take it so we move to their bedroom
>their bedroom lamps are as bad, im just freaking out so we move to my room
>I have a celing lamp too, and the corners, oh, the corners everywhere.

I dont remember it completely, and I have no idea how it ended. Just remember running around the house in the very worst panic.

Also, do you have any idea if anything provoked it? or was it just a regular life beside the illness?

As far as I know, I don't have anything diagnosed on me, but I've had a nightmare about corners

they are disgusting sometimes.

It was like looking at pain olympics, and see them turn around pointing the knife on me

Especially not a qt schizophrenic grill with bright green eyes. ;-;
>welp now that makes sense
r u an aspie?
>Where are you from?
United States of Trump, Florida specifically.

>Also do you remember your very first episode of bad psychosis?

I was about 4 or 5, laying in my bed I remember looking around the room I didn't know why but everything looked weird. Like it was all out of place but everything was where it was normally. I looked into the closet and all the stuffed animals on the top shelf started moving and glaring at me. I got up and walked into the living room in a panic and I just remember waking up in the living room the next day.

>Also, do you have any idea if anything provoked it? or was it just a regular life beside the illness?
I have Spina Bifida, but I don't know if there's any relation. I grew up fairly normally. I was just always odd.

Well, besides that dream I don't have anything with corners, but it also had like circle shaped things moving. It wasn't really like I was there, it was like spectating a game. But dolls, dolls are the worst for me

>r u an aspie?
yep, got it right on the mark. now they're saying it's "autism spectrum" so i can now say i have autism and suddenly people go a lot easier on me.

>tfw when you will never meeyt a qt schizophrenic grill with bright green eyes
I know that feel

Meet*

how did you guess aspie exactly, anyway?

>Meet*
>He doesn't spell check his posts
for shame.
>so i can now say i have autism and suddenly people go a lot easier on me.
One of the joys of being a weirdo, you can get out of shit pretty easily. Probably the best objective thing about being different.
I didn't guess. It's just something I do. One of my "powers" if you will.

>Sup Forums.org

Hang in there user, I know how it feels.
Besides, everyone on this board is mentally ill, especially those faggots who post dick rate threads, traps and banana shit.
At least your staying strong, and sought help, which is more than any of the shitposting faggots would ever do.
I hope things get better for you.

Please forgive me

user, if you ever need to share experiences, or need to know that happiness is out there, even for people like us - add me on kik! My username is greeneyesanon

...

>I didn't guess. It's just something I do.
this is deeply interesting to me in a lot of ways. i (was) studying psychology stuff before i realized it's a shitty major, but it still fascinates me. golden threads.

Psychology is amazing as a life skill to learn, but a shitty job indeed. Both my parents are psychologists. Hard work for shitty pay. But Ive read all their books, its sooo interesting.

i'll minor in it at most, but more likely i'll just continue to study it on my own after i get a job in another field. sucks because i've been into it since i was five, but that's life.

Thanks Sup Forumsro. I hate the shitposters just as much. Part of the reason I wanted to make these threads. Contributing something better than the daily cancer.
You are forgiven, son. You may enter the gates of heaven.
I don't have kik, but I'll look into it.
>a shitty major
You just need to put in a lot of work for it to be a good major. But if you put in that work, it's an amazing major.
If you have an interest in psychology follow it, don't let it "being a bad major" deter you.

When did I die? And how?

I just created my [kik]. Pretty easy, and I think it would be fun for us to get to know each other.

the biggest deterrents are the time i'll spend in school despite how much i hate, the price of that schooling, and then they payoff for all that work. i'll never stop with it, but i just can't get into it by profession. not yet at least. maybe one of these days.

Yo this feels like a real life advertisement, heh.
I'll give it a download.
Beats me.
It is unfortunate the state of higher education. I really hope one day they sort that shit out.

Wait, why didn't I go to hell

>Why did I go to hell
Nigga, this is hell.

Doesn't look like it

i'd like it if they could improve it, but i've never seen a single hint that it'll ever happen. a lot of my disdain for school comes from consistently stupid decisions made at my expense and then they refuse to take any responsibility. sorry, i'm ranting now.

Earth is more likely a kind of limbo.