I have seen alot of people on here lately talking about substance abuse

I have seen alot of people on here lately talking about substance abuse.

So get in her junkies and alchies and let's talk about the pros and cons of our using. What's your DOC and how long have ever you been doing it?

I just smoke weed. Am I allowed in here?

Of course, weed is a substance. I got addicted to it for a long long time

Do you smoke it everyday? When's the last time you went without it ?

I smoke weed all day erry day and I don't work.
The government pays for my drugs and my parents pay for my needs. I'm engaged and everyone says that I'm depressed (doctors and shit). Parents barely believe that I'm depressed as it took a specialized clinic in another state to verify it for them.
The pros are whatever you think they are. The cons are, too.
Life is what it is.
Both good and bad experiences are temporary. All I have to do is make it to tomorrow.

Come on guys keep me entertained. Heroin addict here. Been clean off of it for 3 days and been smoking meth through the withdrawal, never tried meth before. It was a bad decision and I totally went against all the advice I have been given .

meant to quote

Well do you think you might be depressed? Like with life choices or anything?

Yes every day. Last time I went longer than a day or two without it was about 5 years ago when I moved to a new place and had to make new friends.

Now you're just going to be addicted to heroin and meth.

Try not to mix them

All I know is that I personally like changing how I feel on the inside wether it be weed or something else stronger. But I did get clean off weed for a year and I did come to realize that weed made me anxious and depressed and incredibly lazy as a person. That's just how it affects me though.

Don't you get tired of it? Was a heavy user for about a year and when I stopped being sober felt like being high on something because I hadn't been so clear for a long time. I smoke once or twice a week now, you actually feel stoned, before it was just my 'normal' state when I smoke, I'm sure that you understand what I mean

Alcoholic here. Recently got sick and had to quit. Sucks. Only been smoking weed.

Probably not with the meth. The comedown has been terrible unlike anything I've experienced before. It only helped for maybe 6 hours and I've felt like shit for 20 plus hours now. All I know is my body really likes depressents but doesn't work well with stims or alcohol.

thats why most people get addicted to it in the first place, they like the rush and all but the comedown is so shitty that they don't want to go through it so they use more
Usually lasts a lot longer tho

I am super duper duper depressed, have been diagnosed with depression and general anxiety since 15, am now 21. I smoke weed because it's the only thing that helps, I haven't had meds that work for me since I was 16-17. Weed helps with my suicidal thoughts and self harm tendencies (I have been self harming since 14 and only do it when I'm in a really bad place nowadays, usually when I'm drunk). I smoke multiple times a day, I prefer pipes and gravity bongs because they save weed over joints (lots of people smoke spliffs in the area where I live but I don't smoke cigarettes so tobacco sometimes makes me sick and I'd rather not be addicted to another substance so I avoid it).

Then fun times like this week happen where I'm totally out of weed and have no money for it so I've just been drinking, thinking about killing myself, and skipping class, which of course does not help at all. I'm in a GREAT place. Ama if you want.

Recovered addicts are self righteous assholes

>I have cancer
>EVERYONE LOOK AT ME I CAME OVER ADDICTION

I mean I can't speak for you because I don't know you. And I probably sound like a huge fucking hypocrite because im currently withdrawing from a recent w month relapse. But I can't imagine living a life around weed or any substance to be fufilling even if it seems like it helps. All I know is that for me I hate having to chase this false sense of well being around when all it's really doing is poising me.

They can be. Not all of them are this way though.

My sister got really into religion (Christianity) thanks to her AA bullshit, but hey, I can't complain because she doesn't preach.

Hey man you are right some of them are, but you could argue that yeah drug abuse can rip a family apart more than a family member having cancer as an example like you used. Anyway im not trying to convince you, I just wish more people could see that drug addicts and alcoholics are a wide spectrum of people and it affects anyone without bias. There are alot of decent people in recovery and there are alot of dirtbags too.

I agree, and don't think you're being a hypocrite, just giving your stance. I'm going to find a psych this summer and go on meds and really really try to find ones that work because I'm so sick of feeling like this and don't want to depend on weed to regulate my moods anymore. Hopefully once my brain stops chanting "kill yourself slit your wrists kill yourself kill yourself self harm again kill yourself" I won't need it as much, I'd love to be back to where I was when I first started smoking it, like 1-2 times a week (because I really like it and it's a great substance, but I shouldn't be addicted to it).

Mind if I ask what you're off of? Sorry about the relapse but congrats for quitting again, you can make it.

I think that there's a chemical imbalance somewhere in my body. I think it's possible that it came into being through my shady life choices (drugs, degeneracy, etc.) but I also think that it's possible that the doctors are finding something that's not actually there. I'm only 24. I've led a pretty exciting life, though, and I can see how I might have burnt out my brain though I doubt it.

Good for you man. Well I am an opiate addict who moved from washington to Cali and got clean this past year and this past month I started shooting heroin because addiction is progressive like that and it just made most sense economically to support my habit. That was my justification at least as I swore I'd never cross that line. But see the thing is like, using is just a symptom of a deeper issue. I too struggle with feeling ok on the inside and heroin or opiates have always been an immediate fix to that which is why it's so tempting and hard to get away from. And just to put some prespectives out there im 29 white male who came from a rich college educated family and im a good looking guy and really smart and decent. But the heroin turns me into a monster

I mean I can understand the confusion because I too have been questioned having mental disorders like depression but it's never that black and white and you can't really know if you have it unless you have been clean a couple years and you can rule out if it's just the drugs or if you legotomately have an imbalance.

I'm a 21 year old chick from an upper middle class family attending a good school, studying abroad right now, okay career prospects, and have a great SO and good family. Depression doesn't discriminate, it's just fucking depression. :/ That's why it sucks so bad. Heroin sounds scary, but I totally understand the procession of your thought, it's how addiction works. You're not wrong for thinking that way.

Awesome for you to acknowledge that. It's very mature of you to look at it that way. I don't blame people for looking at junkies like they do. But anyone who suffers from crippling depression or sadness knows how painful it truly is you can't describe it. It's why so many people abuse drugs because it's a quick and reliable fix. Despite the fact it ruins lives

99% of people that look down at addicts don't know what real addiction is like as well

No they don't. And I don't expect anyone to have to take on an addicts bullshit because they shouldn't have to. But I do believe addiction should be looked at like any mental disorder, for instance you wouldn't blame someone with schizophrenia for having it. It's just part of who they are and they can't help it. Granted yeah addiction can be controlled with sheer will power too, but it doesn't change the fact that some people are just born with that type of brain.

My last four years have just been binging on whatever is available in my area move around alot , Southwest , Pacific Northwest , and the Midwest . Interesting difference in what drugs people do . Here in the pnw I've just been back and forth on weed dabs and meth seems to be the most available , Midwest was alot of fake excstasy and weed is viewed still as a hard drug and lots of Bible thumpers like to fuck your shit up for smoking the devil's lettuce . Found some good shard and lots of prometh and codeine . Southwest I had real pure MDMA and holy shit hands down favorite have never had another experience like it . Lots of Xanax in the southwest and opiates especially percs and hydros ... And God dam the pnw best bud I've ever seen it's paradise here

I also didn't intend for this to turn into some justification thread for addict behaviour. But like I said I've been seeing alot of people talking about it lately and I know that it affects so many people that alot of people don't even know it's an issue in their lives.

Heroin users answer me these questions:

How to find?
How to smoke?
How good does it feel depending on dose?
What is comedown like?
Is injecting that much better than smoking?

Oh and coke in the Midwest especially slum Lords and their property maintenance workers those guys love blow and any shitty job worker really

Haha yeah im from Washington and bud up there is impeccable. I've heard weed is cheap on the west coast whereas pharms are cheaper on the east coast but I don't really know. All I know is in the PNW you have alot of tweakers out in the Cascade foothills cooking meth too

Oh and lots of flaky dealers in the Midwest

weed mostly all day erry day

>all I have to do is make it to tomorrow
Wow, you really are a stoner.

Yea I'm in Vancouver right next to Portland and there's so many tweakers along with the high homeless population here too . First time I ever heard about tweakers was here

>ghetto street corners
>tin foil
>feels mild to great euphoria a rush from injecting is like 10 seconds of heaven
>comedown sucks if you are going into withdrawal otherwise its just back to reality
>if you are injecting its a waste

and no i dont recommend it even once. Stay away for your health, social life and to stay out of jail.

>smoke weed all day every day
>I think there may be a chemical imbalance somewhere in my body
Gee, you think? What might have caused this I wonder.

I appreciate that friend. :) Yeah. I wish I had never started getting as bad as I did but I suppose there's not much I can do about it at this point, just take it slow and be smarter about getting on meds soon.

Think you're going to do heroin again? If that's not too abrasive a question.

That looks amazing user
I'd pay double for that
See pic related is the weed you get around here

I won't tell you how to find it because I don't want to and It really depends on your circumstances. But if you smoke it usually off of foil is the way to go. For me and alot of people heroin starts to feel good after 3 or 4 hits maybe less. It depends on your physiology really. I mean some people just don't react well to opiates but most do. If you smoke it it usually wares off in about 30 mins but the comedown isn't bad at all just might make you a little sleepy and relaxed. And yes shooting it is the best way to get the most out of it. But it's also the most damaging and when you start shooting up there is no going back. And when you run out of money and ways to buy and heroin, you will withdraw, and that is miserable.

those are the best people to watch crash and burn. they are easy to persuade

>if you are injecting its a waste
What do you mean by this

Is it very addictive from the get-go?

I can't imagine someone getting addicted if they just try a small dose once and promise to never touch it again

I really hope not. It would be entirely stupid of me to do such a thing and I don't have the money for it. I also truly want to be clean and free of this burden . But since I just relapsed I still don't fully trust myself and I can't honestly say I won't because I've told that lie too many times. I hate to say this but maybe I haven't been dragged through enough hell to get back into gear yet. I know for alot of people to change their habits and stop using they have to experience pure rock bottom misery. Which is different for everybody but always painful.

meh

Honesty is always the best policy, and it really sounds like you don't want to do it again. I hope that conviction carries you through, you deserve to feel better than being miserable, but I totally hear you on the rock bottom point. Sometimes it just needs to happen, even if it sucks ass. Sending you love and support friend.

depends on you to be honest.
I have been addicted to anything since being a teenager but I realized that I tend to get addicted so I never tried it since I know that I wouldn't keep my own rules of touching it just once but there are people that can pull this off.

Well that's hard to answer. Like if you do it enough say everyday for a month you will be addicted and will experience withdraw from not using it. Now let's say one time usage..? Maybe or maybe not it really depends on your personality and how it makes you feel. For me I have an addicts brain so when I took that first hit I felt amazing and I wanted to experience that feeling again the next day and the next and the next. But I was abusing pain killers long before I switched to heroin so I mean I was already addicted to the opiate high, I just changed the type of opaite I was using. And heroin is very strong and toxic so it hooks you alot harder

Saw Krokodil on Drugs Inc. Gotta be mad addictive if you want to keep using it even though it eats your flesh.

I meant if you are not injecting its a waste. Might as well be popping pills or something.

That flesh eating shit is a myth, I looked it up

What users really experience is gangrene due to lack of sterilisation on needles

Do you really not get much from smoking?
It must still be a similar feeling

Good for you to have that type of will power. Unfortunately human nature tends to be more versed in trial and error and we have to experience something ourselves to know the absolute truth. I mean like I said im a smart college educated guy and I had heard all the warnings and advice about experimenting with certain drugs. But my personality makes me want to try and truly know for myself. And even though I know it's a bad idea, I can't stop myself.

I just keep drinking. Good Lord I just keep drinking

I don't know hy

That and missing your injections as well. Even with heroin if you miss your vein and shoot into a muscle or body tissue it can cause abscess and swelling and can be really dangerous actually.

So what happened after you tried it?

I want to know because I want to try it once without wanting it a second time

How does your average junkie know how to aim for a vein?
Isn't that hard as fuck to get

good luck mate you'll get through it

yeah once I hit an artery and it hurt like hell.

I never tried smoking it, its probably the weakest way to take it. You are better snorting if its white power or just injecting

you find your veins by making them bulge then you put the needle in and if blood comes back into the heroin then you know youre in.

Adderalllllll for like 7 years on and off. Wouldn't really say i abuse it though

You won't know until you determine if it's negatively impacting your life or not. And if it is then that's usually when you would seek help and discussion with a other fellow alcoholic who may shed some insight into your life because they experienced it to. The power to relate to other addicts and alcholics truly is amazing and is theraputic. Talking to someone who went through something similar to me can even stop me from going and using if I make the effort to contact them before I go pick up.

The first time you took it you just casually injected it?

I have a good job that I absolutely hate sometimes but it pays well so I'm stuck there. I get every second weekend off. I drink maybe 2-3 times a week tho, the Odd night my friends go out on a week day i may do some blow.

Once its my weekend off and I haven't let loose in 2 weeks.I usually mix everything and go out to Afterhours or "raves". I usually do

Ketamine, ghb, MDMA, blow, and a psychedelic (Rc, mush, LSD) and stay out and up all weekend

Can't tell if thats addiction or not. I feel like if in had a job I liked or at least every single weekend off I wouldn't have the need to have to let loose in order to stay sane

no i snorted it but the taste was so gross that eventually i switched to injection.
The problem with trying heroin once is all my life I was afraid of trying it and didnt ever want to mess around with it. Once I tried it I thought oh its easy to control, its not scary etc. You lose that fear and you lose control not even knowing it.

>straight edge elitist asshole until I turned 21
>discovered marijuana
>instantly fell in love
>quickly became a daily habit
>seemed like the perfect drug
>cured anxiety, depression, boredom, made food taste incredible
>smoked almost every single day for 3 years
>now when I smoke I get really stuck in my head
>beat myself up over everything I perceive to be wrong with me
>anxiety skyrockets
>feel embarrassed and ashamed about nearly everything from my physical appearance to the way I walk/talk/the things I say/things that happened in the past
>get extremely paranoid about getting arrested (live in apartment building)
>miss the good times with weed so bad but it's just not worth it anymore

So yeah, I miss how weed used to make me feel a lot. After a few years of smoking weed I started experimenting a bit with shrooms and LSD with mostly good results too.

Oh yeah and I also am completely dependent on alcohol in social gatherings or when talking to a new girl. Ive got some deep deep rooted insecurities and I don't know how else to deal with it. Therapy/meds didn't do shit for me. I can feel myself getting more and more reliant on alcohol for other things as well. Feels bad

Well that's interesting

I'm really not sure what I want to do
I like trying new drugs but I don't think I've done any drug more than twice (excluding alcohol and weed)

I feel like I would be able to try it once and never touch it again but I'll wait until I can find a dealer before considering it, so I won't actively seek it

I never found a consistent dealer, which is part of the risk. You are out to find people on the street.

One time I pulled up to obvious drug dealers in my car which looks like an undercover cop car and everyone booked it.

Haha I mean literally after the first time I injected I just did it that way from then on. Because I knew smoking it wouldn't produce that high I experienced. Just be careful if you haven't smoked heroin or done pills much injecting is not a good idea because it is so strong that you may overdose and die. And there is no magic recepie that will keep you from doing it a second time. That all comes down to your own personality and self control and just be honest with yourself. If there is any part of you that knows you will get addicted then don't do it. Trust me I've destroyed my family life been fired from two jobs because I started stealing to support my habit, I've never been a theif prior to my addiction either, it's just that's the kind of monster it turns you into because I didn't want to be stuck at work and sick from not having any heroin. It's crazy what it will make you do. It's cost me relationships with friends and lovers and it's caused me to be homeless before too. Let alone it makes me physically I'll when I don't have it.

Mdma addict here

Use to take it for parties/club occasions then hit a rough patch where i began selling stuff to buy more pills
Im 18 but the rough patch was when i was 17. Now learned the error of my ways and use once a month/every 2 months.
Pros
>peace at mind
>happiness
>stress relief
>extreme confidence boost
>energy
>more in touch with friends and music

Negatives
>lack of interest in food
>rough comedowns
>feeling rather shitty till 2/3 weeks have passed since my last hit
>withdrawls
>withdrawls are brutal for an md addict.
>hallucinating
>confusion
>bad anxiety
>sleep problems
>random mood swings etc

I used to do Klonopin on near death doses, was a lot of fun... I think, cant remember that entire year.

Oxycodome was all I had for a while and the high was shit and painful

Now I just smoke weed, it gives me a similar high to Klonopin without the same downsides, the downside is my asthma doesn't like heavy bong rips.

Sounds rough man, at least it seems like you've got your shit together now

What honestly scares me about drugs like heroin is how much better that high is than anything else, it seems like it just dulls the rest of your life in comparison

I have a friend with asthma who is a heavy smoker and she actually puts warm water in the bongs. I can't tell much of a difference in terms of harshness between hot and cold/iced water in the bong, but it really helps her, it might be better for you too! Just as hot as your sink can go, doesn't need to be boiling or anything.

This also. It can be risky out there. Buying weed from people is way different then the hard stuff. Drug dealers who sell hard drugs can often be sketchy, they always try and fuck you or hustle you somehow, they overcharge usually and I've been jacked 2 or 3 times from going through a connect I didn't personally know and that really sucks

opiates, roxys and rarely sum dillies, im always in a constant state of withdrawal and it sucks ass, if i could go back 5 years i would have just stuck to weed.

last night i drank 6 beers and smoked a few rips from my vap all in all i was feeling nice. The morning is the hard part. Sucks getting ready and going to work.

I might try it, thanks.
I've always just kept my inhaler on stand by to follow up rips.

You gotta stop with the mdma man those drugs are so hard on your psyche and your body. It can create permanent psychologically issues if you continue to use. Especially at such a young age. Alot of people don't know this but if you consitently start abusing drugs at any given age let's say you are 18 well your brain stops developing naturally and maturing like it should. So if you abuse drugs non stop from when you are like 18 to 28, well you are going to struggle with life because your mind is still that of an 18 year old who doesn't understand certain adult things and responsibility.

I used to do dope everyday like 3-4 bags atleast and then id payt for it all every week to my sister (she used to be a dealer) and me and my buddy got into crack too and we would stay up all night watching shark tank and getting high, I always saw it just like weed ya know just having fun. Until one day I get a phone call that my bestbud shot himself with a shotgun in the head. He took a bunch of acid and then got high on crack and dope and ended up acknowledging his actuality on the cid and made this big facebook post about everyone he loved and how he couldnt live this way. Im the godfather of his kid and I quit everything but weed and beer because of this. I never got physical withdrawal (atleast to my knowledge) but their comes a time where integrity can be more powerful than addiction

You can't naturally produce that high you get from shooting heroin, yes. But it really only gets bad when you do it all the time and start associating your normal hobbies and daily activities with being high and feeling that way. Another reason it's hard to stay clean is because things you used to enjoy like playing guitar or computer games or movies etc etc don't seem as fun anymore because you are so used to being high when you do them. You have to re learn how to enjoy things without being high and it takes a really long time. To this day I still can't play video games and I used to be a hardcore gamer. But I played through so many games while being super high that it killed my interest in it because im sober now .

>weed 2x per day
>LSD or Cocaine on the 1st Friday of the month
>adderall/speed during project crunchtime, usually two weeks a year

the weed, LSD, and coke are beautiful. can't find a bad thing to say about them other than they're disastrous if you can't self-moderate.

the speed I wish I could go back in time and never start using. I don't feel like myself, I don't like the experience, but during those critical parts of the year I inevitably have to put the team on my back and I don't think I could do it without the amphetamines. I actually missed a pay raise because I refused to work a 3rd 80 hour week to save a project due to not having enough speed to last the week.

I never felt much clarity about what I Was doing til after I stopped heroin. All that shame and embarrassment I numbed away came back. Still haunts me.

Sorry for your loss man. And everyone is different. Good for you for setting your priorities wheras someone else on your shoes would use that pain as even more justification to get high. You stepped up which was the right thing to do. But I wouldn't have blamed you either for trying to numb that pain with even more drug abuse if that's what you had done because that's our only coping mechanism at the time .

My view on substance abuse is that if you do it try not to overdose..

its funny how one can juist add everything ontop of everything and keep saying "it's fine", keep that in mind when you see family or friends that seem to be slipping, because once theyve slipped through the cracks their gone.

I feel you. Im so tired of withdraw and it affecting my ability to live a normal life. When im high im fine im productive. But as soon as I withdrawing I can't do shit

thanks man he was my homie for sure (since 03 we knew each other , this happened last october )and your right dude. Like you said everyone is different. sometimes your world falling apart around makes you realize that your world was just a trash can. I know one day im going to have to sit down with his son and tell him about his father. I want that day to be a day where he looks up to me and can see truly that I loved his father and tell him the whole story of my bestfriend. (of course I will wait until hes like in his 20's) It will be like Old Ben and Luke. Now I just watch from a far as he grows up with his widowed mother and I wait. I wait in the shadows for the day to come where he will learn of his real father.

And that type of motivation is important to help you stay on track. And his son deserves that conversation someday. I also want to say that getting clean is one of the hardest things most people will ever do in there lives and when it comes down to it. You have to get clean for you and you alone. Yes it helps to get clean for family and friends because they are important. But if you don't do it for you then it will never be a solid foundation to build a new you on top of. I've tried to get clean for my family before and I didn't want to stop, and it was only a matter of time before I just figured I'd start lying to them again.

don't get me wrong man ( I didn't want to fill you in too much to annooy you) but yeah man I did get clean for me as well. I was a part of a pennsylvania rock band that was together for 3 years with a 89 song set list of covers to rock out at bars and shit. I was the lead guitarist and I would go to shows and drink for free and then do dope in the bathroom stalls between sets and come out like lightning (lol) but over time I noticed my breathing was getting fucked up. I picked up an amp I could usually pick up no problem and I had shortness of breath etc. so then I went to the hospital and got diagnosed with pnemonia. So ontop of everything else I was also straining my body to its limits and beyond almost. another thing to say is that I never shot dope so maybe thats why it was a little easier for me then it seems with other people to stop. anyway if you want to hear our tracks were on reverbnation as "The Surrogate Sons" from Lake Ariel. my favorite track we did was our version of "Wildhorses" lol it was lit fam. anyway but yeah I was just saying that I got sober for me as well

Checking out the track now. So can I ask, when you gave up the dope did it make writing music difficult for you at first?

Because for me as a fellow musician and long time guitar player I used to think I wrote my best riffs and songs when I was high. But toward the end when I'd get high I wouldn't even pick up my guitar. When I got clean for a year the guitar playing was the first thing that came back to me but it took awhile for me to enjoy playing again.

cool man tell me what you think! I do think that heroin impacts your music alot dude. I was on dope when we recorded that track and all of my lead lines are improv lol I just felt the music easier. It was also easier to write cool stuff. basically all parts of music were easier to just go with I guess you could say. Now when I write music or go over a song to learn I will (not fucking with you ) drink 6 beers to start to feel them in me to get a feeling of buzzedness that makes you not second guess yourself. (im not saying drink a bottle of vodka ) but a little buzz alwyas helps me get in the right stae of mind. Also weed can help with this too. At the end of the day I dont need drugs to make or work on songs but it does help. Running shoes help a person win a race but they dont need them per say. goo dtimes though man lol we broke up because the drummer joined a band that was paying more for shitty 10 min drop D tracks and our rhythm guitarist had a baby.

haven't drank in 36 days, i can stay off it but there feels like no point, life is boring without alcohol/drugs

i'm taking painkillers atm

Honestly can't find the track at all and I mean im not an idiot I tried Google and YouTube

I said in my post its on reverbnation my man, type in "the surrogate sons" and the go to the tracks and its the first one on the list all the way down

Yeah it's hard finding enjoyment out of life especially at only 36 days. Well despite the pills. Unfortunately only you can end the bordeum but how do you end it I don't know I don't know you well enougj to know your circumstances. But something that's worth staying clean and working towards is a good start. Such as a better career or maybe your kids or pursuing a life long goal you've been putting off. Like I said we associate getting fucked up with all the stuff we used to do on a daily basis, and it takes a long time to relalearn how to enjoy some of those things sober again. And something's you just gotta give up and leave behind with your old life even if it sucks

and make sure to not pick the first group called the surrogate sons because their rappers from kansas city lol

Haha I got it im listening to it now. Sounds good man sounds a bit like Skynyrd influence

nice lol yeah man we did skynyrd bro lol I wouldnt say we were going for it but it definitely couldve made its way in there lol

dig skynyrd*

My DOC is primarily shooting speedballs of coke and herion. But ive done everything from weed to bath salts, mescaline to meth. In the beginning i had the best times in my life. Girls money, spiritual experiences, just crazy life expieriences. But in the end i was robbing my friends and family just to get another one. Ended up in jail and dead several times. I quit everything almost a year and a half ago and my life is amazing. Went from being a homeless junkie looser jailbird to a somewhat respectable member of society, job car place to stay ect. Still don't have the best choice in women, had some bad relationships since I've gotten clean and I still pine away from my highschool sweatheart that i met before things got bad and only left me because they got bad. Idk ask me anything

I think musicians are just kind of fucked up in general. It's like a common trend. Hence the amount of addiction in it