How do you guys wash your asshole...

How do you guys wash your asshole? I've been neglecting it my whole life and recently I've become paranoid about everything I sit on ever since I sniffed my computer chair and found out it smelled like shit.

>clean underwear smells like shit after 5 minutes
>smell bleeds through underwear and back of pants smell like shit
>after sitting on my bed for 5 seconds I leave a shit-smelling patch

I've been washing my asshole with Irish Spring soap and my fingers recently but I still can't stop the shit smell getting everywhere. How do you clean your asshole so this doesn't happen? I have a pretty hairy ass so I think it's getting stuck to the hair.

Wipe your ass after you take a shit, you disgusting pig.

Shave your ass, it will help, i guess trimming your hair down first and then shaving it is the way to go

I just go by touch, i know someone who uses a mirror but i don't like it

Good luck

Wash it with water in the shower? I ocasionaly use soap aswell.

usually let one of the girls lick it clean for me after I took a shit, didn't use paper in years

Get a designated towel to wash your ass with. Write on it saying that its your ass towel so you don't mix it up with your other towels.

Youre unsanitary as fuck. Just wipe your ass real good and use some wet wipes you animal. And shower daily.

May be a diet issue. Also

Use the bible pages it absorbs a lot of shit

Lost

>neglecting it my whole life.

Literally how?
Are you Indian?

if you wash it regularly, your fingers wont smell like shit
just goes to show you have a fucking smelly asshole

kek

hahahahaha, yes. classic

O-only occasionally?

Hmmm creamy log?!

I use baby soap and some moisturizer cause soap dries the fuck out of my azz and makes it itchy

I shower daily, wipe my ass with soap and water daily, but no matter how hard I try at the end if I wipe my ass with toilet paper it will still smell a little. Maybe I'll try wet wipes.

Minus vegetables I think I eat pretty healthy... Eggs, chicken, rice, and sweet potatoes are a staple of my diet.

you..smell the toilet paper after your wipe yours ass?

> is there a god

Fitizen eh. I think its the egg protons

Stop taking your boyfriends dick in your ass. It's causing you asshole to get stretched out, so now it's not holding everything in and you are getting seepage. Assholes are supposed to be tight for a reason.

Then stop farting so much, and lose weight so you don't break ass sweat every time you stand up. Fucking amerifats man...

well.

that's enough internet for me today.

fuck you, OP.

fucking fuck you.

BECAUSE I'M PARANOID OF MY ASS SMELLING LIKE SHIT

If eggs have anything to do with asshole smell then I'm royally fucked because I've been eating 4 eggs a day for the past 2 years.

ditch the eggs for two weeks, then smell bunghole again

Use baby wipes after you shit (after toilet paper obviously). Give it a good clean with soap in the shower, spend a good amount of time on it, if you have a detachable shower head angle it so the water sprays up your ass. After you shower spray between your cheeks with deodorant like you do your arm pits.

If it still smells/you're still paranoid even doing all that, you need to start douching bro.

Cut the rice. That shit just turns to sugar in your body anyway.

Trim your ass hair
Get a different soap
Lose some weight

If problems keep happening i'd go to a doctor. Your ass should just smell that bad

Go get a enema.

I think your asshole is leaking.

no kidding the sphincter.

see a proctologist

it is farts my man. if it was a dirty asshole it would not go through your underpants and pants onto the chair and remain on the chair, not with your hygiene regime. Farts on the other hand would (or at least could) be responsible.

Change your diet, get good bacteria in your gut and stop farting so much.

agreed.

the reason his ass leaves a shit smell everywhere even after cleaning is, Occam's Razor says: there's always shit coming out of it.

How do you go this long on earth without learning how to wipe your shitty ass properly? you fucking degenerate

Step 1 - When you wipe your ass, use water or spit to clean it more completely

Step 2 - Don't stop cleaning your asshole until you no longer pull away shit on the toilet paper

And that's it. I don't even wear underwear; it's completely unnecessary and I've lived this way for over a decade. (I'm married /w a real job and do not smell).

There is a "sponge- on- a- stick" my gf showed me on Ellen. Maybe you are the target market!

simple. Just mince a jalapeno pepper & smear the paste on your asshole. it absorbs all the bacteria or whatever is still there after you use soap & water. (also, remove the seeds in the pepper or they will scratch your skin)

By not being fat and wash myself every 2 days (2 2 times a day if I know I need to be socially active). Mostly vegetarian cuisine helps immensly but lets you shit weirdly. Wash it with perfumized hygiene articles. Its mostly your nutrition and maybe some health problems. See a docotr

You don't mention if there is fecal material on your underwear. If not you are farting. You might not be pushing it out but your body will be steadily releasing gas like a tire with a puncture in it

Soap.

-crumbled

I"ve started to sit and wipe... like never stand up to grab toilet paper. have asshole spread out when poop and wipe sitting down

use to literally smell like shit when growing up and had an itchy asshole. started wiping my asshole with a wet toilet paper and cleaning up the little bit inside of the asshole

now i don't smell like shit or have itchy asshole also it feels so clean and great

the whole staning up sounds like dumb idea imagine standing up and your shit drops down from your asshole

>not having excellent anus turd coordination

Pretty simple. In the shower, a soapy hand down there to scrub out whatever shit there is from shitting the previous day.

I have a shower head that is detachable. Spray that between my legs and it cleans up well.

>not shitting before shower
its like you purposefully walk around with a shitty bunger

Get a bidet.

Holy fuck easiest answer.

U clean the inside and outside of your asshole with a bidet its fantastic.