ITT: we all work in an office

ITT: we all work in an office

Please have those TPS reports on my desk after lunch

please have lunch in the fridge so I can steal it without anyone detecting

Somebody shit in the urinal again

Who the fuck took my stapler?

Guys, it seems that plane is flying towards us.

Where is my fucking pen, godammit???

Why does your sharpie always smell like shit?

when am i getting that cost of living raise??? rent in this city is nuts! i swear im about to just quit and go travel abroad on my savings.

Holy shit, you're right. I DOES look like that plane is flying at us.

Then quit jerry, no one gives a shit about your problems

I got a case of the Mondays

Jamal probably took it. He stole my stapler last week.

my internet isn't working

have you tried unplugging it and plugging back in?

thanks it faggot

I don't pay you guys to stand around looking out the window! Get back to work slackers!

Can we stop hiring so many niggers please?

You need a case of shutthefuckupsies

Fuck Jerry. We don't need you here just quit

fuck off the only way to get a raise around here is to bitch, otherwise they just keep you in the same position for years

finds stapler in pudding

you gotta earn that job you internship cuck.. it better be slidding down your throat by the time I come back

Tom we talked about this, you can't keep calling them by that name, and please stop hanging black dolls around the office, it's February for Christ sake

The blacks are starting a gang in the parking lot after work. Don't tell Jerry

Does anyone know how to use this new printer?

tom to HR

"My keyboards not working"
Is it plugged in?
"I don't know what the hell that means! Stop speaking all technical and just get down here and fix it now!"

thanks A LOT tom for sniffing stephanies seat.. now we all have to go for ''sensitivity training''

As the boss of all you ants, my tiny shit cardbox cage has a door while yours are open to your back. Ants!

This chair isn't big enough! I'm going to sue because you're discriminating against my conditions. Also I have know idea where everyone's food in the fridge went

chill, Tom just got back from AGDQ and they're making a motion picture about him. we're going to be famous! here's the trailer from the you tube

hey guys, I've got a pizza here for a Stevie Stevinelli, can someone sign for it?

3 years of college for this shit. It ain't worth it man.

Fuck you rob, you fat fuck, I bet if there was food on the floor you'd find a way to fit in that chair, god forbid you have to bend over to pick it up

Got this nice sharpie from ben. It writes in brown, isn't that cool?

Billy's in trouble at school again for trying to stab someone with safety scissors because they made fun of his weight again. Can someone cover for me?

fuck off mandy and dorcas are already on maturity leave, i have enough extra work as it is

not me mutherfuckers. I work from home everyday and I love it.

Thanks for nothing Tom. Just wait till you have kids, you'll see!

>speaks very loudly while on phone so that everybody can hear

At least Tom won't raise his kid to be a fat cuck

Just because you were too much of a slut to have him use a condom doesn't somehow translate to it being somehow my problem. Now get back to work whore

this is tax inspection.
Show me all your books and give me an office work work in faggots

someone sign for the fucking pizza, thankyou please

What the fuck are we exporting again?

oh fuck the auditors are here, someone set the building on fire

Marcus I need that report on my desk by tomorrow. I've been lenient up to this moment, but you've taken advantage of my patience and now it's comes to this. Tomorrow I sit down in front of that report or your letter of resignation.

Only bananas and flour. Think about the briefing.

See you guys later, I'm gonna go take a shit

Hey Janet can you call the IT guy for me please?

Kyle, I don't know exactly how to phrase this, but...uhhh...you do realize we monitor you Internet activity right? Naked animal cartoon characters are treated the same as regular porn and can be grounds for termination. Please, um, just don't look at that shit at work Kyle.

*cough*

>send mailbomb to "every man excepting every woman" to hold the breath and fart synchronously at 11:00

>*PASSES GAS LOUDLY*

i aint do shit nigga

Did you also get that email from the new IT desk in Bangalore, asking for your user credentials?

Check out aubreys ass dude

Better yet, where do they find all these baboons that know how to use a computer

Why are you spying on me? That's illegal! You have no reason to spy on me!

I've sold the company and they're going to do your jobs half as well for pennies on the dollar. Everyone get the fuck out of my building.

The digits honor dat ass.

side note, i HATE formal 'office' wear, it NEVER shows off hotties' boobs or asses. fucking stupid

So, which one of you smelly Indians shaved a bear on floor 3?

Good luck, calling the union, enjoy concrete galoshes

Fine but I'm taking that pizza

Yeah so you can concentrate on work

oh fucking please we all know they want to show off and i want to dick around by staring at them.. who the hell wants to work during the day? i'm just sitting on reddit otherwise anyways

Hey guys, I'm Tony the new guy.. This is my first time working as a robot, so I would appreciate some help in my first few says here. Thanks!

Hostile take over.

OK all you anons listen up. This office is now mine and you had better get with the program or you are out of here.

I don't give a fuck that you've worked here for years you got one chance to sign a new contract or you are gone.

I want all signatures on my desk by lunchtime tomorrow.

JP - CEO.

>hello? I'm calling for my husband Frank in accounting please.

you're all fired

JP's a doosher

sorry hun Frank is in a meeting.. say, do you want to meet up again later?? i know he's not giving you what you want (;

I'm sorry mam but social calls on company phones are forbidden during the workday.

I can't wait for smelly feet friday

Frank is under my desk sucking me off just to keep his job.

He can't take your call right now.

JP - CEO

Stay away from Tom

You enjoy the fact that personnel are writing out your marching orders right fucking now boy?

Here tony, take this AR and shoot every human you see

Tom is a faggot.

JP

Hey man its me Jeffrey! You know who, the one 3 blocks down from you? The Jef-free, the Jeffroo!! AHAH you know it my manne.
So how you enjoying your day?

>people like this exist

Can I get a copy of the 22?

Who's stretched cling film across the toilet seats again?

Jeffarooney you do realise while you're chatting with your friends and colleagues that your speed average has dropped below what we here at the company consider adequate?

JP

Someone keep eating my lunch that put in the refrigerator. I swear I will put cyanide in it

Bathroom is clogged... again

Jeff will sort that just put a call in to maintenance.

AHAH Very funny Boss!! You p-possibly dont mean that do you Boss? its okay i already did my work for the day

T-That'd be me, Jefferey! You know who the one! 5 blocks to the left 1 in front and 7 to the back from you! I I'm sorry man i was really hungry... I-Ill buy you a soda tho! or maybe some McDonalds! I cant be too expensive tho, i dont have much mony

hahahahahah that image edit, serious keks

Close the curtains. Problem solved.

user I'll give you that you have managed an extremely good average this past quarter.

However your insistence on hanging out with that cunt Jeff is a bit of a blemish on your otherwise excellent ethos.

JP

The co-worker next to me is constantly bothering me with his farts. I request assistance, please

Jamal the big nigger said, and I quote, "Mmmmm im stroking my dick thinking about how nice it would be to have you straddling me. Your sexy ass grinding on me rubbing my dick through the boxers making sure I can feel everything you are doing to me. Topless and in just a pair of panties you continue grinding making my cock good and hard then you pull my cock out stroking me your seductive eyes watching the ways I react when you play witg and tease my cock. Your tongue licking your lips as you lean forward pressing my cock against you smooth tummy kissing my lips before you slide down my chest till my pulsing dick is between your tits. Mmm you squeeze those tits together with a finger and thumb on your nipples then you lower some more watching the tip peak out for your tongue to twirl around. God it feels so good baby. After a good bit of titty fucking you lower even more taking even more of me in your mouth. Your tongue massages the base before I grab your hair and push you onto my cock till you start to gag. Then pull you back up letting you get a breath. Mmm the lust in your eyes grow more savage as I continue to throat fuck you. Pushing a bit more in each stroke. Then finally I pull you up getting you to straddle me again this time guiding my cock to your pussy. Mmm we both let out a moan as you grind with my dick deep inside then up and down as you lean back your hands braced on my legs as you slide that tight wet pussy up and down god it looks so sexy watching my dick stretch your pussy as you take more and more. My thumb rolls your clit back making quick little circe that send your pussy to an intense orgasmic spasm. Mmm you begging moving up and down faster throwing yourself down taking all of me. Mmm my dick is throbbing for you now baby. :]

Tldr user.

You're fired.

JP

Who here actually knows what department we're in?

Ah-Ah Good One! The part w-when you called me a cunt was pretty! Funny! Ahah good one JP Boss sir

IT locked their doors again, I just went 12 floors down to those for nothing

lmfao

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