Trips and il call my job and call off with your excuse

trips and il call my job and call off with your excuse.

tell them you're dead.

so close
tell them you suck dicks for money

Tell them you have become a gigolo.

you can't work because you have to un-inside out your anus.

I'm quitting because you won't fuck me in my ass

I have to roll with my Down's syndrome gang to the Greek meat festival.

Going to kill someone so I'm busy.

so close rolling

rollin

anti work god

"I'm situating my ordinance, but I'll be in first thing tomorrow. Trust me."

sorry work i died

Tell them
"I rolled my eyes so had they went into my head, and now I can't see."

Roll

roll

"i don't like working with the likes of niggers and chinks."

This. Then enjoy prison.

one more time

Roll

Hey boss, sorry but I was looking after my cousins horse last night and well.... it's kinda personal, but... well let's just say sitting is out of the option for me, for the next week.

w

I'm cutting off my dick and eating it

Tell them you accidentally swallowed your car keys

You gotta volunteer at the retard olympics.

Tell them Sup Forums said to not go.

I've decided to be a woman like I've always been.

FUCK

Eating my own shit

Hey, boss. I'm gay and I suck weiners. I'm also a faggot. Bye.

you shit yourself. want proof too

Hey boss sorry we'll get them next time

Your lizard has herpes

tell them you have bad diarrhea from eating sushi

work is interfering with my being an enormous faggot

im joining the incredible league of sheckle masters

So... this was going to be a long story, so ill get straight to business:
I'm in love with you, not in a romantic way, but in a ... naughty way. You can't even imagine the things i would want you to do with me, but given these thoughts i can't work with you anymore.
Every single time i think of your jucy lips i get a hardon, every time you give me "the look" i try to figure out if you feel the same as i do. I've felt this tension between us, but i was never sure if it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. Well anyways, i quit, i can't take your constant teasing of me anymore, if i was wrong about you call me and we see where this goes.

I FUCK MURDER! -growl for 3 minutes then hang up-

Too many nignogs

Accidently joined isis

Call and say praise Keke. Hangup

Roll

...

You were stung by a stingray with aids

I fucked my dog and have to take it to the vet.

SO FUCKING CLOSE

>> Rollin

I want to eat dick

Benis

Tell them you spent all night last night grave digging and got an std

Cops found my cheese pizza folder and now I gotta make a run for it.

...

Call work to let them know that you will be making it in on time to work.

"I'm feelin a bit quit today"

You made an interesting shit and are going to have it 3d printed
Provide picture of an interesting shit

car got stolen

Rerolling for this one

...

I murdered my family

Reroll, check em

i lost anal beads in my anus and scream, 'murica fuck yeah!

But add that it was niggers

Because youre quitting

singles say you go to work

Call in gay. Take a gay day. That's what I do.

You lost your phone

haha bye op enjoy making money

WINRAR
record results

My phone is broken and I have to go out and buy a new one.

This

Can't make it in today boss, The little lady is going to get pregnant today and I want to be there when it happens

Call and sound nervous. Say you have diarrhea and have been glued to the toilet all day.

FUCKING CLOSE

You caught the boss fucking a dog

Trips chekem

You still haven't found the buttplug

Everyone forgot that the Jews were responsible for 9/11 and I just can't accept that anymore, so I need some time off to fix that.

Rerolling the reroll, chiggity check this out

Reroll

I broke my dick

Dangit dubz atleest

Say you cant make it in because your getting in and work wont ruin this opportunity for you

...

...

Your dick stings

because trump

rolling

Quit because you're going to kill yourself after you hang up the phone.

tell them your stuck in the closet your not coming out

...

Reroooolll

So close

Had to impregnate my sister

rolling

Yes brilliant idea mate/bloke/guy

"I can't leave with the prostitute in my house; she might try to steal stuff."

That was a good one, but user is just calling sick for the day. Otherwise, bravo

Hey bozz, wont be coming in today. Smoked a little too much weed and just feel too paranoid. Sorry bud

Roll

fgh

I'm deeply in love with the girl who works near me,can't stand being her due to the fact that I get extremely horny