I'm going to MEPS this week for a medical screening, so that I can be cleared to join the military. I don't really want to join, but my mother is forcing me to go because she sees it as my path to a better life. I do have a few medical issues that my recruiter told me to lie about basically. I want to tell the doctor at MEPS something crazy, so that I can be disqualified.
Trips decides what I say to the MEPS doctors, and I will come back and greentext my experience later in the week.
Other urls found in this thread:
military.com
youtu.be
twitter.com
That youre attracted to men and you are not sure if it would impact you negatively in the military being surrounded by men all the time. That you have sexual thoughts constantly about being fucked in the ass by a strong military man and fantasize about sucking cock 24/7. And that we live in the matrix , computer simulation made you gay.
Do your time, don't do anything illegal, save money, don't get married, take as many college classes as possible, don't be a faggot "feel sorry for me veteran."
Lastly, seeing a dead body or hearing explosions doesnt give you PTSD. Man the fuck up and don't try to milk taxpayers of money bc you want a 100% disability rating.
>half the military
Tell them you watch Alex Jones and read Breitbart
good luck...even the most disabled make it through MEPS
That shit will get you a sign on bonus in certain career fields.
Just tell them you post on Sup Forums with anonymous and once used a xss to send someone to tubgirl. Computer crimes will instantly fuck your clearance.
I'm pretty sure that my recruiter does that, so I don't think it would be a problem. He went on a rant about refugees and welfare the other day
As soon as you get out and start using that GI bill for school, it all seems worth it.
I have prolapsed rectum and can't lift more than 5 kilos
"I'm a proud gay atheist and I want to become an ISIS suicide bomber in NYC."
Yeah, a lot of people have told me that. I'm just nervous about getting a dishonorable discharge from because of some of the random stuff that happened when I was younger. I don't want to get a falsified entry discharge or whatever it is and be fucked for life
shii... that near miss!
Smoke some weed
Tell your mum to go fuck herself OP. Not worth getting your ass blown up. So many career paths that are so much better
Make sure you tell them you don't believe in god and hate terrorists
Can you force yourself to have a prolapsed rectum? I might try because this seems like it would provide the best entertainment value later in the week
Don't lie, just tell them that you don't want to join.
Don't give a shit what your mother says, a military of volunteers is far more effective than a military of conscripts.
Don't join unless you want to. Being forced to join while we have no need for conscription is an insult to the sacrifices our troops gave to do the job that others don't want to do.
tell them you have chronic faggotry.
I deal with MEPS every day. Lol, they're gonna fuck your packet up so bad then call me for help xD
Honestly, if you're old enough to join the armed services and still have issues with "My Mom is making me" just sign up and let someone else tell you what to do for the next 4 years. Who knows, you might even potentially man the fuck up over that period of time.
Every ex military person I know tries this. I have no respect for most of them because they're trying to game the system
Narrow Urethra
You can go to boot camp at 16 bruh.
Tell them you want to kill yourself
Compulsive masturbator
asthma... there you go cant join with it.
Just be straight forward about it, if they disqualify you for medical shit after so much then it might be better that way.
Also, what are you afraid of? It's the simpliest shitty job you could ever find and you get a kilometric shitton of benefits. By the way, use them when you can.
Shit daug.
DEP is not the military.
Thread
I hope you lose a leg or something and can guilt trip your mom for the rest of her life.
Yeah, it's a parental consent thing that she did. She basically filled out the packet for me and told me that I could join now because she doesn't think that I'll be able to afford college
Didn't wanted to be that guy, but this fucker is right either way.
If you have some issue because of "Being told" to do something then I have some bad news for you.
I'm going to bootcamp in June. Don't be a pussy ya bitch.
Easiest job ever.. speak for yourself
I read that I can leave the DEP at any time, but I'm worried that it would have an effect on college applications/jobs in the future
The aids
"FUCK YOU NIGGER APE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't join the military if you don't want to. Fuck what your mom says. The military can be a great experience, and for some it leads to future success, but only for the ones who join because they want to with a plan. If you join without any desire or any plan for your future after you get out you are going to wind up a washed up veteran with PTSD and no relevant job skills back home.
Youre not in until you are at meps, sign your contract and swear in.
>she doesnt think that i'll be able to afford college
wow your mom is a piece of shit. parents are supposed to pay for at least part of their kids education, not send them on their way out into the real world once high school ends.
I'm not afraid per se, but I'm worried that I'll fuck up and then not get an honorable discharge. I don't want to join and then be one of those vets that can't live a regular civilian life. I don't mean to sound disrespectful if I'm coming off that way. I just don't want to be in the military until I die so to speak
Haha, well shit. Still, if she's shipping you off anyway, might as well make it on your own terms. If you don't want to do something don't let anyone force your hand. Especially when it comes to fucking with your future. Get job, move out, grow up. Or just fuck everything up along the way and prove your mother right. Couldn't even get into the military...
Wasted roll
Do you want to go college? Because most of it is a meme right now.
Do you wanna hear your mom for the rest of her life? Because you are going down that road and she doesn't seem the kind of mom to like the idea of Good Boy Points.
Life decissions are made with your brain.
oh shit
You are a fucking idiot. If you are already thinking about getting out before you're in DON'T GET IN. Jesus Christ you're stupid. You think your moms disappointment is worse than bullets up your ass? Guess what, it's fucking not.
I'm finishing my enlistment here in a couple of months. it's really hard to fired and kicked out from the military. as long as you don't do anything illegal, you're pretty much guaranteed an honorable discharge.
Neither of my parents are paying for my college and I'm making it through just fine.
I stated the simplest, not easiest.
>Wake up
>Go to work
>Work government hours
>Disregard ladies
>Get paid
Now don't get me wrong, I hate my Sargeant. But there is great benefit on being an Officer and having the benefit of telling him to fuck off.
ANTIFA DETECTED
But user is a low functioning autist.
Not everyone is as great as you, Chad.
Join, it's good for you
You won't regret it
but did they try to force you to join the military because they couldnt have been bothered to start saving to help your future and give you as many opportunities as possible as soon as they found out they were pregnant?
The system games us already. The pentagon misplaced 7 TRILLION DOLLARS already in the last 20 years. Fuck this gay system and judging people who abuse it. When I was younger and freshly indoctrinated by the "education" system I would have agreed with you 100%, but the more truth you learn about the system, the more IDGAF. Example, most bike "gangs" are ex military men just looking for adventure and comraderie, but the news paints them all as bad and scares people.
Military, college, are you drunk do you know how this world works? Get a fucking factory job and learn to love it
>I'm worried that I'll fuck up
First, everybody fucks up sooner or later. And the stupid fucks that get 'Traumatized' are stupid fuckers that joined expecting a fun time shooting and blowing shit up.
I mean, come the fuck on, you got a huge fucking load of jobs to choose that aren't being a freaking bullet sponge or medic.
Just go in there stoned and smelling of weed.. Job done.
>i'm an O-2, so that means i can tell an SNCO to fuck off
please don't be one of these officers
Say that you're only eighteen, have a ruptured spleen, and have to carry a purse. Also that your feet are flat, you're blind as a bat, and your eyesight's getting worse.
>learn to love a factory job
lol
Failing a federal drug test is really bad though isn't it? Doesn't it pop up on background checks and stuff like that?
>Get a fucking factory job and learn to love it
Yeah, right.
How do you think I ended up in the military in the first place?
Someone should inform my parents about this.
Dude I'm not stupid enough to actually do that. But I do piss him off intentionally from time to time.
The downside is that the corps are the ones getting shit for it and pay for my sins, but I feel them and try not to do it regularly.
Amen
Tell them your mother is forcing you and that you want to join to just murder babies
Cut off a couple fingers. They won't take an already disabled person.
if they couldnt be bothered to save for your future then they are irresponsible parents.
Do it faggot.
smoke weed.
a positive piss test will get you kicked out.
Hey man, you know what the military DOESN'T need? More people that don't want to be there. Your mother is a selfish whore if she's telling you to join for no reason other than to better yourself. Self-centered shitlords are the number one reason the quality of our military has dropped so significantly. So tell them the truth - that you don't want to be there and that you're there under pressure from your parents. Do not lie to the government. Nobody wins.
Tell your mother you're not going
Mother is forcing you?
Cmon its voluntary
Tell her where to go douche
Military sucks ass
Thats kind of my point. It's easy to go to college. Money isn't really any excuse these days to not go if you want to.
Beacuse everyone with kids makes enough money to be able to save money right?
New flash bud, having kids is fucking expensive.
To be fair, some sargeants tend to be fucking assholes and stupid as a rock. Because of those fucks everybody gets pissed and fed up with their already shit job.
MEPS MEPS
15 year old detected, fuck off you fucking spastic.
...
Say you're a gay faggot who can't control your emotions.
news flash, there are a lot of irresponsible parents, and just irresponsible people in general in the world.
OP
If you haven't yet,
>watch this video
>all the way through
>tl;dr, I know
>IT IS VERY IMPORTANT & RELEVANT
You will thank me.
Military is usually not worth it. Take out a loan and go to college. You'll definitely get financial aid if you are poor.
So if you are poor you are irresponsible?
I technically meet one of these. I'm on a retinoid for acne, so I guess that will give me eight weeks
take the airborne contract, don't be a dirty fucking leg.
yea if you have kids you cant afford to take care of. that is irresponsible, regardless of whether you are compassionate and forgiving about it.
>. I don't really want to join, but my mother is forcing me to go because she sees it as my path to a better life
>but my mother is forcing me to go because she sees it as my path to a better life.
Lmao pathetic!
Not him, but it depends, if you are poor and have a shitload of children you are an irresponsible piece of shit.
If you are poor and yet can't give enough of a shit to feed your children then you are a piece of shit too.
But simply being poor doesn't make you an irresponsible, just a bad planner.
I'll tell you what I told the waiter that brought me pancakes...thank's for your service!
You should like a faggot kid that grew up wealthy.
I am the guy he replied to and I agree with this.
Do, wtf will you do if you don't join?
To be honest, you would come out a better person, and you will definitely get laid more. No faggot, with girls.
I did have responsible parents, yes. very responsible.
if he comes back disabled then he's coming out a worse person.
I want to study accounting in college and eventually become a CPA
Ok. This makes sense now. You just don't know how to work for anything, you just get handed shit.
Let me know what life is like in your bubble.
