Hello niggers!

Hello niggers!

Time for a job thread.

What does Sup Forums do for a job?
>Lifeguard for my city

How much are you earning per hour?
>$15.50 CAN, that translates to a bit less in USD for 'muricans

What do you fucking hate/love about your job?
>Hate most of the people I work with, they're insufferable faggots who constantly think they have it bad when they have 35 hours of pay throughout every week of the summer and their job consists of doing jack shit and sitting down
>Hate the bosses and the administrators, they constantly try to make the shifts shorter and use less personnel on the pools, effectively fucking the newcommers in the ass since they're afraid to discuss with our bosses, and will most likely shut up and do as they are told like pussies

Any funny stories to tell?
>See next posts I have a couple ones, the job is mostly PR during the summer since the city's pools are public and free during the week days (5 bucks CAN during the weekends but people still come)

>pic unrelated

>any stories to tell
Ill bump with these

>keep in mind we never reimburse people that paid if they leave or get kicked out
>we have a stamp system that lets people get back in and we print receipts
>this one morning some very odd looking dude that I know and that always hangs out in the park where the pool is situated walks in
>wellthatsnew.jpg
>never seen him come to the pool but hes always around it for some reason
>suspect he's homeless or mentally ill
>whatever if he wants to come and enjoy the water he's welcome, guy seems pretty chill
>he starts by going into the women's changing room, asking for shampoo like nothing could be wrong about being in the wrong change room in a public installation
>manager asks 2 idiotic, lazy girls that were on rotational break to get him out
>dude is fucking surprised and acts like he just didnt know
>kind of believe him since he looks pretty retarded
>after a small argument with the two girls and the manager (also a girl) he gets access to the pool since he wasn't causing trouble and just looked kinda handicapped
>still strange that he needed shampoo before going into the pool but meh
>manager and lifeguards bought it for some reason
>he goes straight for the kid section with the 1ft pool
>yanks out his pogo
>faps furiously
>managers face turns milk white
>two stupid girls scream in anguish
>im fucking holding back tears of laughter at how stupid they are
>5 people including manager beefy lifeguard and 3 police officers finally kick guy out, arrest him
>his face when
>didnt seem to bother at all
>this guy is my new hero

More to come

bump

Head chef at my local Wendy's restaurant
37
$8.75 per hour
>pros
Drown in pussy
>cons
None whatsoever

>chef at wendys , $8.75/hour

...

After school car worker at private school
19
AU$22.50/hr
>Pros
Staff and boss are chill
kids mostly behave
get paid to play celebrity heads
>Cons
breaking up piss fights

Ice cream vendor

I make 25% of whatever I sell, so on some days I take home only $20-$30, last sunday I took home $140 cash. It beats working around others and dealing with favoritism and nepotism, need a better gig though.

cont.

>couple days later we get news
>pedo dude in prison
>everyone claps in the office
>im just reading newspaper
>rainy ass day so no one is swimming and we dont have to watch an empty pool
>our schedule is about to be cut and we get to go back home
>im the most ancient lifeguard so I can choose to stay
>decide to stay for the day while the newshits get sent back home (generally not cool since you lose hours of pay)
>one of the two little bitches from the pedo incident decides she disagrees with me being able to stay and keep the pool open
>don't even bother arguing, she's tumblr tier angry and cannot be reasoned with in general anyways
>keep reading newspaper
>girl goes up to my face
>starts raising voice
>disregard the bitching
>takes newspaper away
>ok now bitch im fucking pissed
>was reading about how a guy abducted some woman and raped her in a motel multiple days in a row etc. etc.
>you dont get to force stupid ass arguments
>get up (im 2 heads taller than her and 6 years older)
>take deep breath
>contract abdominal muscles
>eye contact
>im generally bad at eye contacts but then again this girl managed to make me lose my cool
>FUCK YOU YOU MONGOLOID CUNT IVE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF FOR 7 YEARS IN THIS INSTALLATION I GET IN AT 6 EVERYDAY TO START THE FUCKING MACHINES YOU DONT GET TO QUESTION MY PRIVILEGE
>tfw privileged
>she sways
>falls down, starts crying (shes 16 and very immature so I wasnt surprised)
>mfw she pissed herself in fear
>manager looks at me and isnt sure how to act
>everyone else just laughing (have i mentionned they're all morons)
>first time in 7 years I lost my cool
>says shes going to put that on my file and talk to me about it before I leave later
>obviously won't
>man i fucking love this woman
>little bitch ran downstairs to basement to hide
>sit down near only access to basement with newspaper and coffee
>she knows im waiting for her
>doesnt come out for 3 hours
>single fuck given
>was worth it
>enjoy day of pay and doing nothing

looks pretty chill to work with private school staff

forgot quote

yeah, boss is old school christian so i get sent to playground with kids while females have to wash dishes etc.

MORE

more stories from op

>this happened near the end of August
>a month has passed since the time I screamed at the kid and she pissed herself
>respects my space now and avoids me if she can
>so this one day (week end day, paid entrance)
>5 poor, dirty Steves/Stacies walk in
>they can barely walk, clearly all of them are shitfaced
>am on cleaning duty, picking up leaves and trash into a portable trashbin
>turns out they are carrying water bottles with more wine/liquor into them
>i notice because people always do that and think they're sneaky
>decide not to fuck with them so I dont have to argue with them about a reimbursement
>people get very fucking angry about their 5 bucks
>decide they haven't done anything too sketchy yet so I leave manager out of it too
>they go straight for the diving board area
>one of them superalphamale.bat
>dives from pool edge instead of board
>you cant do that, its written everywhere and painted on the ground in pictograms
>guess who is on the fucking chair forced to deal with them for the next 15 minutes
>thats right, that motherfucking little cunt
>this is gonna be good
>grabcupoftea.gif
>girl visibly uncomfortable
>at this point I'm pretending to be going for another round because i saw some trash to pick up or whatever
>get close enough to the chair to hear her pathetic efforts to get them to behave and follow the diving board area rules
>they ignore her
>she starts raising her voice, obviously kind of angry at the macho mikes and their cackling whores
>they actually notice her then
>they laugh at her and start doing backflips
>girl is yelling repeatedly now and explaining the rules
>id be very surprised if that got any results
>girl notices me after 5 minutes of being ridiculed on her chair while the idiots do stunts and laugh at her
>looks to me in despair, silently asking for some help
>nice try bitch
>keep picking up trash, give a thumbs up to the retards

cont.

cont.

>they start splashing her
>at one point one of them throws the contents of one of the water bottles at her
>not sure if water or white wine
>girl screams like a banshee
>it was wine
>other lifeguard on PR duty, kind of dislike him but hes smart so we get along
>walks by and asks the guys if they mind not being retards and doing dangerous stuff
>gets flipped off
>this is getting pretty good
>siptea.gif
>i am but a mere janitorfag, helpless and unable to intervene
>get cramps from holding back laugher
>scoot away and hear them arguing
>nows the time to tell manager, I want these guys kicked out so I dont have to mind them anymore and the rotation is coming up (this means bitch off chair and on a break)
>manager flips her shit
>thanks me for telling her so quickly
>kek
>runs to pool, gives a literal hellstorm of shit to the drunk retards
>they get angry
>i hear one of them mention the 5 bucks
>i fucking knew they would do that
>boss calls police
>takes half an hour to get them out
>meanwhile rotation interrupted because incident
>bitch still on chair macerating in cheap white wine
>im still doing fuck all leaning on portable trash apparatus
>laughing to tears silently
>literally sobbing
>guys get kicked out
>bitch gets off chair smelling like shit and can barely walk from the stress she was under
>gives me the stink eye
>actually gives me the stink everything because of wine
>smile peacefully
>enjoy normal rest of day at work

bump since i actually type stuff out and the thread is slow

bump

...

Yeah man.

Grain farm. $25/hr. Farmer's kids are too young to be around so no fucking family to deal with. Get to work alone mostly so not only no spoiled, snotty family but also no faggoty, useless millennials.

Right, they act like being born in the 80's is the best fucking thing ever. No it isn't those faggots were teenagers in the 90's really tells you what happened to them.

one final story for today

might be back with more some other time ikl type them out cause i have good ones still

>this happened on my 5th year at the job
>needless to mention bitch wasnt even pubescent and I had not yet met her
>but back then there was Diego
>Costa Rican dude, very tall, brown skin
>not a complete faggot
>very chill and friendly, everyone loved him
>fucked manager and a couple other chicks
>always wore shark tooth necklace
>the kind of guy youd expect to work on a pool actually
>only staff member I ever liked
>no homo tho
>one day on opening week (most of the summers traffic at the pool is on that week and during the final weeks of july)
>diego and I sitting on chairs doing our job (youd be surprised at the amount of lifeguards that don't even manage to watch the fucking pool for 20 mins)
>then I see it
>the most massive, swollen and dark brown turd ive ever laid my eyes on
>solid, half a kilo heavy heaping mass of shit
>just floating in the absolute clusterfuck of children bathing in the sunscreen-saturated water
>instant kek
>decide to watch it go by as if I didnt see it
>id be supposed to tell boss and close the pool for an hour to disinfect
>to hell with that lol
>glance over at Diego
>from his eyes I immediately see that he knows
>he spotted the turd
>hes got that smile on his face
>he doesn't give a fuck
>eventually get off chair
>turd is very close to one of the filter buckets
>thats where the shit floating in the pool generally ends up, we empty them a couple times a day so the filter system doesnt break (and I fucking manage the filter system so I'll gladly do it more if necessary)
>turd gets sucked in the bucket
>Diego saw it too
>we both act as if nothing happened

cont. Gotta bump

bump

You must have another job. What's that one?

cunt.

>later that day the manager assigns Diego to bucket duty
>this means he takes a big bucket and goes to empty the smaller filter buckets
>this means he gets to recuperate the turd
>his face is gleaming with joy
>he waddles over to clean the buckets
>whistling some latin dance tune
>at that point I'm curious what the fuck he has in mind
>not like the fucker would tell me
>keks were about to be had
>I just didn't know yet
>he quickly plops the soaked mass of feces into his big bucket
>no one sees
>step one success
>masterful dexterity
>carries the bucket back to H.Q. after finishing the job
>15 minutes left before rotation, Diego is free to do whatever
>I'm watching the kids in the 1ft basin
>more like watching the parents watch their kids
>not actually very important to watch
>Diego skips past manager, shes on her laptop
>goes into basement with bucket
>comes back, still in ninja mode
>drops contents of bucket in trash
>come hang out near me
>hes visibly holding back laughter
>tells me to wait
>skip to the end of the day, 8PM
>lifeguards in H.Q.
>some of them changing downstairs
>hear girl scream

Cont.

bumperino

.tnoC

>look at Diego
>fuck Diego disappeared
>hes probably somewhere around, jubilating
>girl comes up the stairs, looks utterly disgusted
>decide to follow her, ask what the fuck is up
>perfect acting
>I am very aware of what she just witnessed
>get to basement
>jesus mother of fuck
>girls locker completely covered in shit
>inside and outside
>manage to contain keknado
>tears of delight running down my face
>motherfucking Diego
>this was one of the girls he fucked and she was nuts about him
>looks like he didnt like clingy girls
>manager walks in
>almost pukes (the smell was fucking atrocious and didnt wash off for weeks)
>no clue who did it
>no one suspects me because I always work in the basement and I wouldn't ever do this to myself
>Diego is the least suspicious person I know so ofc he gets away with it
>his locker is upstairs with mine
>he casually walks in with a smile when I go to change
>apologizes to me for smell
>high five him, no big deal man
>still in pain from laughing fit I had in the bathroom after the incident
>mother fucking Diego man
>after shift go get beers with him and some friends
>get shitfaced
>still to this day remember the smell and the look on the girls face

I'll try and find a pic of Diego for you faggots

Somewhat amusing stories OP. But I can't help that you come across as a little fucking loser. Also are you sure you're not Homo? You work with all those chicks and your just a fucking jerks to them. If you weren't a faggot they'd look to you like you're a cool guy and a real man.

Mediocre bait
Back to 9gag with you

The two girls I mentioned are neither smart, nor attractive. They are younger than me by many years and act like princesses

You dont seem to know a lot about the kind of environment I work in so I will disregard your comment

You probably have no clue what a real man is as it is quite an undefinite and versatile concept

No. OP really is faggot. You identify with OP. You're a faggot too.

Really OP. Get the fuck away from that gay pool and get a heterosexual life on the go.

You two should meet up.

Replies to comment

>I will disregard your comment

Replies further to comment

I haven't brought up anything to reply properly I just stated your comment was objectively trash