Ask a security guard at a major retail location anything

Ask a security guard at a major retail location anything.

Pic somewhat related.

what color socks have you on?

In bed rn. But I basically only own black socks.

are you a security guard?

This is now a cringe thread

I believe I am. I might be mistaken.

What kind of a monster are you? You sick fuck.

How fat are you?

why didn't you finish High School

that girl is hot AF user... if related please say you have more in uniform possible for us to enjoy?

Im terrible..

About a level 3 neckbeard

and do you work at a major retail location?

Unfortunately now a days you can't get a job like this without a high school diploma. A lot of people might loose a chance because of it.

Unfortunately no :/ it's just a good depiction of how it looks at my work.

How many black penis' have you seen while on the job?

One would call it that, yes.

When should I sleep? It's about 12:30am now

I did security so its boring AF, just sit around do nothing so company can get their insurance discount.

Dang that sucks no more of that hottie, well if ever find more kind user, graveyard shift user would appreciate it.

Thankfully a small number of penis in general

If you're waking up at, say, 0730, then go to bed at 2 45
Gotcha. I'll see ya around.

why are the jews trying to take over the world?

There are bigger players than that. Everyone wants a slice of the pie.

found the jew

what favour pie is it?

Why haven't you put a spycam in the women's toilets and change rooms???

DO IT!!!

Depends on the person.

watermelon

What company do you work for and why isn't it Allied Universal

1) I can receive photos and more importantly have contact with women, so I don't really feel the urge. Also you gotta take life a bit more seriously. Thats pretty serious stuff.

How do you know I don't?

read: walmart

That didn't really answer my question

Yes I know!, But could you get away with it if you wanted to though?

how do you deal with shoplifters?

Walmart is part of the complex, so yes.

They are arrested and taken into police custody.

Fucking knew it. For the record I'm a security guard too. My company fucking blows though.

All security companies do. We're just a number.

That's the dark figure of crime

>All security companies do. We're just a number.
Sure, but I know the industry fairly well and my employers are fucking scum people in general. For some of the contracts they make 3 times what the guard does. It's a small company too. They're literally the most selfish people I've ever met in my life.

And the wind blows softy through the meadows

what are some commonly stolen items? and how do you feel about shoplifters? how do they try to get away and do they try to make excuses when caught?

Hmm... I work two jobs.. One of the companies I work for is quite similar. Red bastards.

→

Witnessed gg

Panties. Small shit that can be tucked away. They usually do it spontaneously for some odd reason. Lack of inhibition. More seasons ones will try to be tricky but I dont want to delve too deep.

The insane profit they're making isn't even the issue, that's their right to make that money. They just have extremely shitty business practices and are despicable people in general.

You should try and get out. It can be better. What type of security do you do?

Yeah I've been wanting to get out for like a year but I have literally no motivation to do anything, even though im extremely unhappy. I do a bunch of different sites, most recently patrolling a construction site in the middle of downtown that has been having problems with theft.

Where about are you.

Fellow Security Guard here...

Have you ever masturbated at work?

I have. :)

no, but i fucked a security guard at work, a male one

Ontario, Canada.

Once in the middle of the night at a joke site. Was boring.

Do you muricans get tasers Aussie guard here I want a freakin taser

yes, and real guns too.

on one hand, that'd be awesome fun. on the other, the though of most guards I've worked with being armed is scary as shit

Nope.

Had a feeling you were. Same here. Just dip out. You'll enjoy doing something fun. Get some certifications and get something enjoyable and make a career out of it bud.

A problem that creates its self

eh. In my state we get more firearms training than the police do for armed security. (Only because they say it's cheaper for an officer to die in a gunfight than it is for them to kill a criminal.)

do you and your co-worker greet each other and say "another day in paradise" and then talk shit about people on the security cams?