Sex stories thread, I'll start:

sex stories thread, I'll start:

>be me at 17
>in highschool, terrible social skills and unpopular
>destined to be foreveralone virgin
>decide to change that, start working out and taking the initiative
>man up and go to a party (first time)
>crush is there, surrounded by popular girls and Chads
>shitfaced, underaged drinking at my first time was a bad idea
>manage to seduce crush somehow, can't remember exactly
>"user, come upstairs"
>follow her, boner raging
>we go into a room and she jumps on the bed landing on her ass
>"let's do it" she says
>"ok"
>she comes closer to me and asks while whispering if I eat ass
>I say I'm a virgin (is that a bad idea?) and I've never done it, but I'd do it for her (she was so fucking hot)
>she turns around and gets on her knees
>pull down her pants and place tongue on her log cutter
In all honesty, it tasted like shit (what a surprise)
>I'm going all in despite the taste, she's enjoying it and moaning when all of a sudden
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
>bitch farted in my mouth
>I flinch and turn around to see people recording us on their phones
>she picks up her shit and runs out bottomless
>fast forward few days and people are calling me Poo Poo user (my name starts with Paul)
>have to leave highschool because she somehow convinced the school that I raped her

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=bXngU7WqEJA
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

meant to say my name starts with P, fuck.

is your name paulina

I feel like its just paul

>my name starts with paul

retard

dumb shit

Maybe it's Paulie. Or Paulson, as in Robert.

how do I delete threads I don't want those faggots finding out I post here

Using my 1337 haxor skills, I know everything about you. You're fucked now, PAUL.

His name is Paul, son.

kek

Too late, they already know. I've contacted the cyber police, you dun goofed.

Why did you rape her Paul?

"I flinch and turn around to see people recording us on their phones"

so , is there a video? are you going to show us or what?

I have a story
>doggystyle with gf on couch
>all of a sudden I fart
>she laughs
>I laugh
>I keep fucking her and came

same thing happened with me except i kicked her in the teeth. Bitch laughed at me

I never did you retard
why would I show you, you retard. shit ruined the rest of my teen life

>have to leave highschool because she somehow convinced the school that I raped her
If she already convinced your school why didn't you just rape her afterwards

poo poo paul

ow , cmon , it wasnt that bad
at least u ate some ass :)

kek

you haven't considered that did you?

shit i think we were in the same HS

PUAL PUAL PUAL IM TELLING YOUR MOOOOOOM

interesting
which HS is that?

idk i just lied to fuck with you

Background:
> Be me, 26 yrs old, never even kissed a girl
> However, I've sucked off guys and been sucked off, because it's easy and I'm lonely
> Give up on relationships and dissolve into a world of drugs, shitty television, and reading about the occult
> Actually in pretty good shape due to a couple years of weight lifting (b/c I was a weeaboo and watched a boxing anime) and losing weight on a low-carb diet
> But I look pretty spooky, dress weird, a little fucked in the head due to a drug overdose and lack of human interaction
> Make decent money in IT

> Saturday morning, wake up
> Knock on door
> Neighbor girl apparently, asks for a cigarette
> Give her a clove
> Learn later that she was suicidal and wanted me to kill her
> Ended up sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching animu
> Two days later I lose my virginity
> I was terrible at it

hello, fellow Paul

Hey Anons stop picking on Poo Poo Paul.

Did you marry her?

>happens
>gets bullied in hs
>has to leave hs
>tells it on b
>gets bullied
>has to leave Sup Forums

Yep

im proud of you user.

You are ahead of your time paul.

I should add: she's no longer suicidal, went back to school, has a more healthy relationship with her family, dresses more conservatively and stopped wearing makeup, and helps me keep a budget + keeps getting me fatter by making home-made cookies and pies and bread and chili and stuff

Congrats user.

Im happy for you user.

sounds like a fantasy, but congrats user

HAHA paul you retard

Get yourself a Mormon girl with daddy issues user

>first date met the girl on Yik Yak
>made camp fire on the beach of the local river
>fucked her on my sisters down blanket
>came all over it and put it back where i found it
>saw her friend using it a week later
10/10

you having kids?

No, but we are not using birth control either, so unless one of us is infertile, it is probably a matter of time.

lets play a game
leak your ex gf
>Sиαpchαty.me
thank me later

>be me, 17 at the time
>close friend of mine has lots of guy issues. She is a definite qt 3.14 with a nice set of boobs and a moderately okay butt
>Talks about her boyfriend and how he's off at basic all the time and can't be around
>Catch onto the clue b/c I'm not a fucking idiot (at least here I wasn't)
>"Haha yeah man that sucks, I bet your sex life has pretty much gone out the window"
>"Yeah no kidding"
>MFW
>She nudges me and we spend a lot of time talking. Apparently, she's been seriously debating breaking up with him since he's been gone for so long.
>Timeskipperooni
>Her BF breaks up with HER because apparently he caught her cheating (which was impossible at the time he specified, probably just some bs)
>She's an emotional wreck
>Clings onto me
>A lot more flirty
>Casually mention to our group of friends that I'm really bad a closing with girls
>Laughing, laughing, basic lunch table joke
>After a while she turns to me after the joke and says, "Really, user?"
>At this point in time she's kinda backed off of me, so I only halfway paid attention to her
>nod and say yeah
>"So if I were to tell you to meet me in my car after school for some sex, you doubt you could close the deal with me?"
>MFW
>Knees weak, cock is diamonds, seriously 0 to 100 boner mode
>Somehow managed to spurt out this fucking line, I shit you not
>"N-no"
>MFW I beta'd myself at the last minute
>MFW she gets with another dude shortly after
>MFW

You should stop worrying.

youtube.com/watch?v=bXngU7WqEJA

Endless circle of faggotry

Fuck you fagboi

at least some of us have gotten out of this shitty dreadfull existance.

>his name was Robert Paulson

you will be saved, poo poo paul we shall call you

Kek

>fast forward few days and people are calling me Poo Poo user (my name starts with Paul)

The shit already spreading :')

>I don't want to disclose my identity, call me Homer S.
>No, better H. Simpson

Can't believe everyone fell for this fake name drop

Ishygddt

>>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

never said i believed the story, i just think its good content

Bullshit. You lost me at raep. 'People' recording you (more than one). Even if they worship her and hate you, she's not just going to belly up to the bar and sell a rape story.

Admit to lie or tell actual story.

you have a custom font?

Lol trying to save yourself with the fake namedrop...the deed is done shitface

>be 17
>this new girl comes in to my school
>those eyes, cute and petite
>get to known
>tfw actually into the same music as me and all the other stuff
>meet at her house frequently after school
>cuddle together, watch movies and stuff
>she sometimes goes crazy and jumps up on me and rides me, unzips my pants or moves my hands near her crotch
>me inexperienced and awkward
>what do
>one time accidentally brush on her boobs when she's moving my hands again
>she bites her lip and pushes my hands into her chest
>her hand goes into my underwear and starts fiddling around
>insta hardon
>pants gone, she jerks me off for a bit then removes her shirt and bra
>I try not to over excite myself and play with her small boobies while she's giving me a handjob
>finish like that later
>mfw didn't even kiss her and I came all over her hand
>this continues to happen later with more stuff going on
>we lose our virginity, she's into all sorts of fetishes
>later develops some psychological shit and dumps me
>sad
pic related

she looks cute user, sorry

>be me
>16
>at a party
>girl has just had two guys fuck her and dump loads in her
>she asks if i want a go
>no i say
> she sucks me off
>girl ends up having and sti
>mfw one of the guys gets it
>mfw she gets pregnant
>mfw its one of the guys babies
>mfw she has an abortion in secret
>mfw she doesnt and the bf believes its his

ok so be me
> I will post this everyday until mods chemo this board. I will post the rarest pepes in threads that are gay.
take your trap threads to lgbt faggots. take your cuck threads to soc.
take your log of shit threads to 2chan take your gay ama threads to plebbit take your fb fap threads to facebook chats take your cringe threads to rk9 take your furry threads to trash take your kik threads to kik
take your ylyl threads to 9fag and I faggy
take your political discussions to pol take your pics you shouldn't share threads and kill yourself op for making this thread
It's time for COPY THIS POST AND MAKE A NEW THREAD OR YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE IN HER SLEEP, NO IMMUNITIES
> cum violently

It's true OP, I'm part of the cyber police.
You are getting rekt, son.

what font do you have?

>the poo poo user paul

>hey come watch me fart in anons mouth
>record it guise
and then like
>he raeped me!

Doesn't compute, even in the Feminist States of America.

Only the dead know peace from this suffering

Do you think anyone even know what that means anymore?

this. the end.

...

>be me
>be in HS
>be female born in mans body
>be at party
>this sperg who lost some wieght is eying me
>decide to do some charity and let him eat my ass
>we go up
>feel that chimichanga i ate acting up
>feel relieved after the gas leaves my intestines
>sperg is angry for farting in his mouth
>I run out

...

well latest sex story:

>be me
>with my girlfriend of 2 years
>visit my parents
>parents go to vacation monday morning
>we will leave monday evening
>girlfriend and me are horny
>fuck my girl in my room
>proceed to living room
>fuck her on the kitchen table
>she says the only room left is my parents bedroom
>come inside of my gf while fucking her doggy in my parents bed
>some cum drips on the sheets
>hopetheywontnotice.jpg

pic is my girl

off at basic all the time?
bootcamp is a one time thing, even for weak Army fags.

>b 19
> girl I work with at grocery store 17 yo slut
> b late 90's so gives me her pager number
> one night drunk at friends house and page her
> she calls I tell her I'm going to a party and sh should meet me
> she is spending the night at a friends and sneaks out
> b me pint of rum drunk
> she walks in and I walk up and put my arm around her
> turn her around and start walking to my truck
>no words
> she gets in and immediately goes for the d
> rockhardjpg.
> starts sucking I pull down her pants and start fingering
>worstbjever.org
> say let's fuck
>she wants it.
>climbs on top starts riding she's nude I just unzipped and unbutton pants
>she cums and screams so load busts my eardrum
> 69
>lay her on her back and fuck her till I cum
> she was screaming the whole time loud af
> cum on her braces.
>fuckinghot.jpg
Cont?

>be in relationship 6years
>decide it is finally time for making sex
>feel so horny
>go to bar and find black bull
>all go home
>sit in chair and watch bull take my grill
>finally lost v-card
>so hawth

Look at the size of that beer belly.

Yes pls

You're not a female in male body, you're just a retarded psycho. Remember, acceptance is the first step to helping yourself.

>gave her a clove

What a faggot

More of her

well okay, sure

...

>believing anyone on/b/ has had secks.

ikr

> she cleans up gets in her car and leaves.
>think about going back into the party but decide just to go home
> get to my house go to the bathroom
>drunk as fuck so don't really look down or notice anything odd
> move to sink
>look at hand and notice they are covered in blood
>wtf.gif
>pants shirt hands face hair blood blood blood
>clean up through shirt and shorts in garbage
>go to bed
> next day go to get ready for work
>mom is doing laundry
> user I found these close in the garbage what happened are you ok
> she's holding up a shirt and shorts that have a vaginal bloodbath on them
> make up some bullshit about a fight
> mom puts the clothes in the kitchen sink in cold water to soak the blood out
>got to go to work walk out to truck
> mom follows me out bc I have something for her in my truck
> open door and are both hit by the foul stench of rotting menstral blood baking in the Florida sun
> truck is covered in blood spatter and smear marks
> at first mom thinks I've killed someone and almost faints
> then the smell, I saw it come over her face when she put it together
> user you let me soak that in our kitchen sink
>I freak jump in the truck and take off
Cont?

Some of us have had lots of sex.

> have gf of a year and a bit
> she lets me do my own thing
> over at female frienda house
> playing games as usual
> she asks how things are going
> mention since gf put on weight she's too self concious to fuck
> female friend asks how long
> haven't been laid in a month
> she says that explains why I've been cranky lately
> lols were had
> a little later I'm swearing at the game
> she says she doesn't like hanging out with me when I'm like that
> says she has an idea
> stands up in front of couch and takes her jeans off
> I've got this grin on my face but am trying to play it off as a joke
> then she stradles me on the couch and unzips me
> I started to protest but she just said "shut up"
> she pulled her panties aside and I was in
> she fucked me for about 5min and when I was about to cum she kept riding
> I had a violently intense orgasm inside her
> she got off and cupped her hand on her pussy
> ran to the bathroom and returned as if nothing had happened
> "Feel better user?"

KEK

more. I'm intrigued.

haha

It was less faggy than sucking dick

>Don't open the red door Jen!

My sides and my cringe.. Go on.

yes cont!

why didnt she smell it as she was soaking the clothes?

Any other stories?

Clothes had been in stinky trash can

No fucking way! I was in your class dude

Of course.

> be me in my 20's
> ex gf has little sister
> just turned 14
> about 90lbs
> ginger, porcelain skin with light freckles
> she's having home troubles
> ex asks if sis can crash at my place for a night
> uh.. Sketchy but okay
> take her home
> getting ready for bed
> she sees my liquor cabinet
> her "can I have a drink?"
> me "your sister would kill me."
> her "I do it all the time, I'm not that innocent."
> me "I have no reason to risk it lol"
> there's a delay of a few minutes while I set up the couch
> her "you can touch me.. Then we'll both have a secret. She would kill me if she knew."

This is where I should have gone to bed and forgotten the whole thing.
Instead I gave poured us both a drink, and said I didn't need to touch her if she wanted a nightcap so bad.

Within an hour of chatting on the couch she was stradling my lap with her top off.