ITT: Tard Encounters: True Story Edition

ITT: Tard Encounters: True Story Edition.

Rules:
>must be relatively funny
>must be OC
>can greentext, don't have to
>no fagiolis or aspies in my bread
I'll start...


>be highschool fag
>have to release a bear grylls big gulp from urethra
>go to shitting and pissing room
>hear LOUD ASS MOANING
>come from shitty southern US school where ppl frequently caught fucking in weird places
>I yell out "WHO'S FUCKIN!?" and it echoes throughout the bathroom
>big lard ass tard comes running out of the last stall, waving its hands around wildly
>"i lern to cooouuuunt!"
>Oh shit...
>tard wrangler emerges from stall
>oh SHIT
>fucking tard has SHIT all over his fucking hands fuckkkk
>"We were just counting the toilet paper pieces."
>tard advances on me, trying to infect me
>run like Usain back to my classroom
>never again

A quick, shameless, samefagging bump.

Bump because here comes 404

My last faggot bump before the captain sinks with his ship

Bump for more

Going slow, on phone

>be me, 2005, senior year
>going to class
>suddenly power chair tard slams into me from behind full speed
>wrangler comes around the corner
>wrangler yells at me like I did something
>this happens like 5 more times
>get pulled into principles office one day
>get accused of bullying tard
>threatened with suspension
>defend myself, tell principle to watch the fucking cameras
>they set the tard up
>runs into me again full speed next day
>wrangler apologizes
>leaving school the day principle catches me and apologizes
>mfw I was bullied by a barely functional power chair tard

Well I fuckin tried OP

bump cuz i remember a time when Sup Forums had good tard stories.

This guy was around all 4 years I was in this shithole, but this is probably the better personal story I have, even if it's shit.

>be me, 18
>senior year
>have qt3.14 gf at the time
>have tard in 2 of my classes
>tard is known molester but nothing is done because tard excuses and tard's parents threaten to sue
>tard has some strange issue with CatDog
>no one ever understood, but it's a trigger for chaos
>hanging with friends and gf one day
>tard comes up
>talking to gf like I don't exist
>gets too close
>alpha up
>"dude back the fuck up"
>literally shoe to shoe
>"i don't think I have to faggot"
>aww.jpg
>somehow he thinks he's better than everyone else
>can't deck him cause principals and I'm actually trying to graduate
>whisper CatDog
>"i'll rip your balls out through your throat and stomp on them" he says
>I see rage
>double down
>tard starts singing the song of his people
>pic related
>shrieking two inches from my face
>smells like cum and rotten fish
>principals and security grab him and take him to tard prison for the day
>i get called to office
>suspended for 3 days for instigating conflict
>gf came over that weekend
>got bj
>worth it completely

There's a little more but not much. If interested I'll keep going but I'm obviously a shit storyteller.

mine isn't really good
>in high school, senior year
>every day at lunch tard and her wrangler will leave past our table.
>i sit at the end with my back to where they come from
>I leave my bag on floor at the end of the table
there is like 15 feet of room from end of table to wall
>one day tard flips shit on me about leaving my bag on the floor
>she says i was making fun of her wrangler
>her wrangler just sits in her wheelchair looking embarrassed.

Fake and gay

decent. continue.

you call that a story?

>be me
>about 21, at college
>waiting in line to get lunch
>tard girl comes over and says hi to me
>tard wranglers watching
>i'm like 'hey :D'
>awkward as fuck.jpg
>BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
>tard girl asks me what i'm doing after college
>um............
>tard asks me if i wanna go to disco with her
>entire lunch hall is watching me get hit on by a tard.
>struggle to think of what to say
>tell her i can't because i'm washing my hair (be a longhairfag)
>tard wrangler gives me death stare
>i powerwalk outside and smoke a big doobie behind the bus shelter.

and that, Sup Forums, is the story of that time i got hit on by a tard. Proper downy one too.

Bump. I know there are some good ones out there

i told you it wasn't good.
the only true tard that ever went to one of my schools was in elementary school.
we would just heard him running through the halls screeching sometimes.
our wranglers were the best, you would have loved our wranglers. I ask people all the time and they tell me, they tell me that our wranglers, and im not making this up, they tell me that our wranglers are the best they have ever seen.

Ok I have one.
Not gonna greentext on phone and don't really give a shit.

Smoke pot with buddies and a tard wants in
Gives us 20 to 50 bucks every time
Constantly rip him off. Only give him a bowl pack or a joints worth and he smokers with us.
Happens often so we say Fuck it and start selling him catnip.
Profit
Fuck the cat nip and start selling him black n mild tobacco, tell him its the darkest shit around.
At this point we couldn't tell if he was falling for it or just thought we were his friends.
Get into cough syrups and triple c's.
Tard comes by when we are tripping and asked for some.
Fuck it why not
Sell him some of the stolen cough meds
Profit
Don't see him for a few days
Notice a new car on my block with people in it for about a week.
Its detectives watching my house to see if I was trafficking .
Asks to come in.
No warrent, get off my property.
Watch for a few more days. Nothing happen with them
mfw I find out the tard told his mom we sold him ecstasy when she she found him all fucked up.

>high on xanax at high school lunch
>hear a high pitch screaming
>scream "can someone shut that kid the fuck up?!"
>wasntakid.jpeg
>it was a severely disabled tard
>tard wrangler runs up on me
>"WHO SAID SHUT THE WORD UP?!"
>i shit you not
>this guy wanted to kick my ass
>talk my way out of it
>didnt like lunch very much after that

Bump

did you guys like my trump impression?/Bump

You're gay

Well you are a cis white male, which we all know is now worse than being hitler.
(I also am)

Buddy going to college, gets job of tard Wrangler in a group home full of severely tardeds. Tards do many things like masturbate, fight excessively, bite each other. My friend gets plastic bats at Walmart in the clearance section and brings them to work outfitting each tard with a plastic bat and a pan lid as a shield. Battle Royale in the living room with tards mercilessly beating each other and my buddy video taping. All fun and games until one tard uses his tard strength and bites a silver dollar sized piece out of another tards arm. Now the tards are covered with bruises and investigations forthcoming. Buddy gets new job at library. No more tard battles.