ITT: crap superpowers

ITT: crap superpowers
I'll go first:
laser vision but you can do it only with your eyes closed so it would burn your eyelids.

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Ability to make real money appear from thin air

Its all $1 bills

Super intelligence, but everytime you activatie it you realise how much your life sucks and you have wasted your existence

The ability to fly but only when inside a building.

i wouldn't mind

The ability to grow and style your hair the way you want it in 10 seconds

I don't need super intelligence to know that

"Crap superpowers"

None of these super powers are even related to crap. You guys aren't good at this.

Turn a shade darker for 10 seconds at a time.

Have you ever thought how shitty you would think of yourself with super intelligence. that's like atleast 3 times the depression bro

The ability to speak to see through clothing but it censors nudity

fucking kek

The ability to turn every part of your body except for your skin invisible

The ability to know what someone ate by eating their shit

Literally always painfully shitting bricks

The ability to always take a satisfying dump

The ability to believe it's not butter

The ability to kill yourself but you can only use it once

The ability to stick your in a big bowl of pudding

The ability to think up bombs that only you can see, and that only affects you

same except with the noun

The ability to turn invisible but only when nothing can see you

Who is your?

the ability to turn invisible but it only works against blind people

or when you turn invisible you emit an audible siren and release a distinct foul stench

the ability to go back

guess i am a super hero then...

the ability to walk in line
youtube.com/watch?v=YX7ZR1X_pPg&list=LLYVFX5IhBGQAy7OWwwbK_yQ&index=2

But it lasts for an hour and then you're bald for the rest of the day

The ability to teleport once a day, but only the distance of 30 cms, towards magnetic north.

OP here:
super intelligence for halfhour but you become more retarded every time you use it

so basically like rick sanchez?

my nigga.
beat me to it

Ability to turn into a spoon forever.

Reverse ant-man, You grow really big, but still maintain your normal strength.

The ability to post on Sup Forums
Also, checkem

The ability to get trips whenever you want

the ability to respond to this comment or your mother dies in her sleep

@731369387
You're not getting a (You)

ability to not be a useless faggot while referencing Rick and Morty on Sup Forums

X-ray vision, but you can only look through old people's clothes.

invisiblity. but u can only go invisible when u see ur parents having sex.