I have court in 5 hours Sup Forums any advice? For a white collar criminal?

I have court in 5 hours Sup Forums any advice? For a white collar criminal?

Pic related, is the court I am summoned to.

Other urls found in this thread:

gov.uk/legal-aid/overview
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

when you go to jail and people ask why youre there just say "im a white collar criminal"

it's a great idea. one guy did it on that 60 days in show and they made him the pod boss.

do you have a lawyer?

Whip your dick out to show your dominance before the judge.

Its segragated in england dude. Im pretty sure white collar crimes have a seperated prison/wing

Nice try though

Noppee, defending myself

Post moar pics of court building!

>nope
ur fucked

What are the charges?

so you go into solitary even if you just didnt pay your taxes?

youre probably going in with people who got in bar brawls and put someone in the hospital.

You know what? Its crazy, but it just might work!

This, pretty much.

Tax evasion. Non payment of fines. Nothing too bad but I have multiple accounts fraud

are you retarded or just a sociopath?

Usually I am very calm an not phased by threats from the government. But the fact they have taken my case straight to magistrates court. Means its highly likely I will be made an example of.

Diagnised as have paraniod schizophrenia. So the second one

Just get a lawyer and they could probably swing that to get you off basically any crime

Im in court in 4 hours 40 mins haha

dont represent yourself then.

...

I am using depression and not being in the right state of mind as my case. But its weather they jury buy it.

I have no other choice. Or ill get a council representative... But they are the guys taking me to court. So i stand more of a chance defending myself

Just tell the public defense lawyer to get you a continuation due to lack of lawyer.

Not sure it works like that in England

no you dont, youre just being paranoid.

this is honestly your best bet at not going to prison for tax evasion.

In the case of NWA versus user the prosecuting attorneys are Ice Cube, MC Rene, and Ez Motherfucking E. Ice Cube feel free to take the stand and tell the jury about this fucked up incident.

>aight so, this dude user he aint payin his taxes. I gotta pay muh taxes why dis nigga dont?

If you have the funds, why not just hire a solicitor?

If not, I understand.

Is this your first appearance?

It's how it works in Canada so I'd imagine it's similar there. There's not a jury on the first day. You go before the judge for them to explain your offenses and after that is when the actual trial begins.
You can ask the public defender for a continuation which gives you extra time to acquire a lawyer.

Also you have to get the public defender to make a deal with the crown defense for the continuation so make sure you let the public defender know of your condition as the reason you're seeking the continuation.

This. You can't win. Either you present yourself well in court, thus killing your whole argument, or you look like a fool and fail to defend yourself.

I dont have the funds. Im broke nigga. Or I would pay my taxes.

If it helps people get off murder charges then I'm sure OP can say he was paranoid that the numbers would conspire to kill him if they represented the truth.

This. This is my point exactly. This is why i am so stressed out

Fine Ok - although many people have avoided paying taxes when they're not broke.

Doesn't legal aid exist here in the UK anymore?

what kind of white collar criminal can't pay their taxes? what the hell do you spend your money on?

Citizens advice? Haha where I live you are better off getting a cat to represent you. I went in and they didnt want to know, they drew up a form with my ingoings and outgoings on. And sent me on my way.

Then gtfo of Sup Forums and get a lawyer. Right now. If you use that defense, you need to have someone else present it for you.

What do most spend it on? Drugs. Alcohol. And shit i dont need.

Also you got to understand. I am not an interation fraudster. I just change my adress constantly to avoid paying taxes and national insurance. Got a few loans out and went off the grid. Its not like i have thousands.

Also, pay your taxes and go on the electoral role=caught

No time or funds. I didnt realise the severity of the situation until about 3 hours ago.

>not researching defence options fully.

Nothing to do with citizen's advice. They're a charity.

Legal aid is an official state fund for people in hardship.

gov.uk/legal-aid/overview

Meant to be reply to:

Ok I've now lost what little respect I had for you.

You're fucked.

Well at least you'll have a really long time to sit and contemplate that poor decision.

Just read up on it. Wish i had taken the case more seriously earlier and tried to get this

Just be polite. You will probably get a suspended sentence if it's your first offense.

Gummy droopy-eyed lady has spoken.

I was made homeless at 15 and had nowhere to live. Moved into a hostel until 18 then was thrown out into the worl with no knowledge of what to do, half an education and no money.
I used what was available to me at the time to live. Now 6/7 years later, i am paying for it.
I dont need your respect. But there are reasons why i did what i did

So what does this mean?

Suspended sentence is jail time put on hold. Might have to go to probation or do community service. Refer to the judge as your honor. If you have commited no past crimes act like you're shitting it a bit. Be polite, dress smart and tell them the experience has left you shaken and that you feel remorse and regret.

Also if you commit any other crimes during the suspended sentence you get locked up.

Okay cool. Thanks dude. Ill see what happens.

Are you from Liverpool or just using the crown court?

Retard.

Never too late for legal aid too. Get in touch with a nearby solicitor and ask if they can help.

From liverpool

bring a gun with you. if you get caught they just take it until you leave again but if you can get it through security they will reduce your sentence for showing vulnerabilities within their system

No you don't need my respect, but I need to have some for you to continue trying to offer advice.

Sorry for your shitty start in life though. I hope the court case goes as well as it can.

Are you serious.

>So i stand more of a chance defending myself


no you don't

Second this but good luck

wow thats pretty hardcore. your pretty cool man

This is now a Brutalism thread

No it's not. Lots of people defend themselves.
It's not like tv courtroom dramas when you pace around using clever cross-questioning and addressing the jury directly.

It's more like 'I didn't organise my defence properly so I'll awkwardly stand still and answer questions succinctly and hope this is over soon.'

I'm a fellow Scouser.

Just tell them you're acting under Magna Carta Articla 61.

It's all pseudo-legal mumbo jumbo but people get away with this shit quoting these things.

If you use you nigger eyes. You will see its because i cant afford a lawyer

>But its weather they jury buy it.
A jury at magistrates' court?

Hot

Oh nice didnt think many scouser would be on here.

Ill give it a go.

Nice one fella. If you are ever about the swan pub on wood street, look for a guy in a leather biker cut with sykes tattooed on his hand. Ill buy you a pint ;)

Is that not a thing? I dont know. I dont usually make a thing of getting caught

Triggered and thanks for that (you)

It's right. You won't have a jury in a magistrates.

Same guy?

>Refer to the judge as your honor
No, magistrates are referred to as 'Sir' or 'Madam'.

At least if you're guilty I'll be seeing you in the Echo soon

Not geez? Damn

For tax? Doubt it

You don't have to be a criminal to have a basic understanding of your country's legal system.

Whoops. Sorry.

I wouldn't doubt how shit the Echo is lad, good luck with the case anyway - if your story is as true as you've said here I'd say you at least have a decent chance of just having to go on a course or some shit

Yeah man. 100%
Nice one fella