Only girlfriend/best friend I ever had despises me and asked me to never contact her again

>only girlfriend/best friend I ever had despises me and asked me to never contact her again
>my only 2 friends are from high school and only wanna hang out once every few months
>becoming an alcoholic
>isolated myself from most of my family from past drug use
>mom hates me and will kick me out soon
>20 years old NEET
>suicidal
>never leaves house
>even my online friends get sick of me easily
>thought I was doing the right thing all these years
>just 3 years ago I was in love, in college, with a part-time job
>never thought I would end up like this

don't be like me

how did you fuck it all up?

drugs

Stop being a piece of shit and go outside and make new friends.

Or off yourself. No one really cares either way.

I think I'll take option two soon enough

what your poison?
give me a real story nigger

acid & weed.

the acid fucked me up beyond belief. I was probably just weak minded, but I was out of my mind for about 2 years. fucked myself over in the process

I wish i could go back and do it all over

do psychedelics. you'll see the truth and then either kill yourself or slowly begin the path back to life and health

did your friends desert you cause you had a psychotic break?
that's a bit shit

greentext your demise

did you see through the ego?

>
>I wish i could go back and do it all over
Maybe you can't change get how you fucked up in the past, but you can learn from your mistakes and not do them again. It's never too late to start

>do acid with best friend at some random kids house I never met (me and my friend were stoners together, I figured whats the worst that could happen with acid, we'll just be really high)
>this shit is weak let me take a second one
>psychotic break
>whole life feels like a lie
>don't understand anything anymore
>friend just tells me to go to bed
>stay up all night, can't sleep, thinking rapidly and won't close my eyes because im terrified of the things I see
>go home the next day pretend like I'm okay
>I think "i guess im just changed a bit, they say LSD does that"
>don't realize that I stopped thinking and I practically turned into a zombie
>two months ago finally start being able to use my brain again
>sent into a panic attack about the 2 years I wasted not perceiving anything
>mind is blown a second time
>past month I've slowly been trying to pick up the pieces
>feeling like I'm almost back to normal finally, and realizing all the mistakes and time I wasted

I stopped perceiving time, I felt like I was dead already. It sounds crazy, but everything felt like a lie. I felt like learning was brainwashing. I could say more but yeah

I lived life using only my eyes instead of my brain for 2 years. everything felt boring and pointless. I didn't understand why people felt emotions anymore. Whats the point of sadness, why are people angry, why do they want money, why do we need anything. we can just sit here and exist. so i think yes... maybe I did see through the ego

that is called dissocciation
you need to research mental states and risks of psychedelic use
you should take dmt, extrememly intense 15minute high. i think it would help you.

Literally all you ever need to do, watch how what you say and what you do effects people. Learn from your mistakes, don't give away all your time helping people, just don't be an annoying cunt.

Idk man, I'm worried that DMT could fuck me up further. Im already a very anxious person

dmt is extremely different to most psychedelics, but it's up to you
have you tried mdma?

You look great for 20 mr dogger

Sounds like you had an awakening with no context or understanding, you got too much truth too quickly and went into dissociation to protect from emotional overload. Do MDMA to see through your fears. Take it seriously and think about your life and write down everything. You can't go back to where you were, but you can move forward into a new and better life.

I hope you are some peruvian faggot I know

Don't do it OP. No more fucking drugs. I've been in a very comparable situation to yours and only time will help. When you start picking up on everything again things will start changing really fast. Now show some motivation and take initiative. I know it's difficult OP but it's so worth it.

You sound somewhat familiar to me, either that or I know way too many likes of you.
Can I get your first name?
If that's too much, are you into dudes and live in eastern Europe?

never tried MDMA, but i'll look into it
thanks man I appreciate the advice I agree I think I'm gonna stay away from drugs for now..
I'm not in Europe i'm in the US, California to be exact. I'm glad im not alone

I appreciate all of the responses guys I'm reading all of them

mdma won't warp your perceptions or twist your brain like psychedelics do. it has shown promise in treating ptsd and trauma, which you might have suffered from a particularly powerful psychedelic experience.

I am you except I'm 23
Girlfriend recently cheated and left me
Sitting on so many videos and pics of her
Been tempted to have her social media raided in exchange for me dumping all i have of her
Shes fucking sexy too

get a routine.. like start to get fit or something, or go to your local sportsclub, do anything, do a part time job or something like that just to get to know some people.

well that's intriguing honestly, what would you say is the best situation to take something like that in? concert, at home, party etc.

obviously at home inf you're going for the therapeutic effect.

are you retarded?

depends what you are trying to use it for
honestly it is awesome at concerts and festivals, and at parties where people are having fun. don't take it at quiet or uptight parties. if you are trying to use it therapeutically you should take it with one or two close friends who you trust. it's pretty shit to take alone because it lowers inhibitions and makes you very lovey and social

why's everybody making threads like this where they just say "bwaaah im suicidal and my life is shit." ok, cool, are you going to atleast try to make it better or are you going to off yourself, maggot

no need to be a dick man..
I'm thinking if I do take it I'll take it with my best friend I took acid with.. maybe it'll help and we can talk about that night. or maybe thats a bad idea im not sure

just wanted somebody to hear me since most people don't listen or just say what you said. I appreciate the response though man

excellent idea man

nigga we are trying to make it better take your overcooked broccolli outta here

>just needed some attention cuz im a needy little bitch
>hehe
>no need to be a dick man

trying to make it better by asking how h fucked his life over and then saying "stap it" ok

there's no need to rub it in but thanks

as if you're happy with your life

it's not about that. It's about if you're willing to make your life better or if you just accept it how it is.

well why don't you just work on your own problems if you can't be fucked helping others with theirs?

Dump some pics please.

how do you expect me to help him?
tell him the same shit "stop doing that" "lay off those drugs" "do what you love" how is saying the obvious helping anybody?

if you don't have enough life experience to offer advice, that's fine. but just leave instead of having an autistic rage episode

Try getting a job at mcdonalds or something and relearning social skills. You can lose social skills if you don't use them. Plus earning money and paying rent should ease your situation.

You're fucking 20, you can do it all over. Just get your fingers out of your ass and get a life.

the hell do you mean rage? this is not even close to anything like that. And seriously? What else do people even say here other than what I just mentioned?

I've been feeding stray doggo's around my house since i was a kid. Even when i was all alone and had limited food money, i fed stray doggos as well. A random stray dog bit me the other day for no reason. I did not provoke it or anything. I kicked it in the head with muh steel toe boots, and am wondering. Why would i not mince him into burger meat and feed him to the other dogs. Also, he ripped my favorite pants. Pic unrelated, random Yulin photo, i think. What i'm asking is, pro's and con's to doing the above.

Pros: More meat for the dogs
Cons: You wont see dogs the same way as before

If you're of the addictive personality type bear in mind that mdma is rather moreish and you wont notice the divide between 'happy fun high' and 'monged out' until you've gone waaay past it, plus mandy hangovers are fuckin rough bro, you'll feel realll shit the next couple days

Are you me?

You are literally me without the drug part. Even the same age..

If taken responsibly it won't be like that. I'll greentext you pointers from experience.

>Get MDMA
>Test your MDMA to be sure you didn't get some research chemical which will fuck you up even more
>Be alone to make sure you can pay attention to your thoughts and try to sort yourself out
>Take 100mg and wait about 30 mins for the kick in
>Come up can be a little rough as it comes in waves but it will pass
>Once it kicks in properly you'll feel your mind is at ease and you'll be able to look at everything from a much calmer perspective
>If you like where this is taking you take another 60mg 1.5 hour later
>Have some music playing all the time
>Enjoy the best experience of your life

Mdma can be a great drug if taken responsibly and not abused. If you plan to use it more than once don't do it more often than once a month and 3 months apart would be the best option or you'll fuck up your serotonin receptors. It can be the best thing if used properly and worst if abused. We all make mistakes so be smart and enjoy your life OP, you deserve it just like everyone else.