Alright Sup Forums, funny story thread. I'll start I guess
>10th grade me
>new iphone just came out, the one with Siri or whatever
>best nig friend (let's call him Darius) just got one
>at aunt's house one day
>power goes out
>start fucking with his phone while he's in bathroom
>me and other friend change his name in phone to Pussy Destroyer
It may sound stupid now but it gets a lot better. moar?
that was a little short. here's moar
>Darius and i go to same school but he's a grade below me
>have same teacher but different class
>very chill teacher, doesn't give a fuck what we do if we don't have classwork to do
>Darius in class one day, finishing final exam
>smart nigger finishes first apparently
>teacher notices new iphone on his desk
>asks to play with "that Siri thing"
>Darius gives him phone but doesn't unlock it for him
>teacher tries for a few minutes to unlock it
>gives up
>asks fucking Siri to unlock the phone
>doesn't work
>continues to fuck with Siri anyway
>everyone is working furiously on their exam, room is very quiet (he's by the teacher's desk)
>phone was at full volume
>asks Siri "what is my name?"
>Siri blurts out full volume "Your name is Darius, but you told me to call you Pussy Destroyer"
>entire class freezes
>bursts out into fucking tears at once
>phone just called the scrawny mixed nigger Darius "Pussy Destroyer"
>he's very awkward and shy, by the way
>never hear the end of it from teacher
>he calls Darius the Pussy Destroyer from then on out
wew
Bump
Kek.
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OP here again, here's a cringey one. I feel like I'm going to hell for this.
>5th grade
>just moved from smaller town to bigger suburb area
>school went from being ~200 kids to over 1000 it seemed like
>tards are integrated with the normies
>you have no fucking idea how hard it is not to laugh as a 5th grader when you hear moaning and screaming
anyway
>after school one day, stay to wait for my mom to pick me up
>leave class because teacher is locking up
>say i'm going to the library but actually just want to wander around in the halls
>pass by a mobile (wheelchair) tard and his wrangler
>shrug
>notice they are going towards classrooms that have already been locked up for the day
>wrangler must've forgotten something
>keep walking...
>try to open doors randomly to see if anyone left anything inside the classrooms
>bored out of my mind
>mom said she'd be here at 4:30
>it's only 4:10
>walk back and forth in the halls
>notice mobiletard is sitting by himself at the end of the hall
>wrangler nowhere in sight, must be in bathroom taking a dump
>end of the hallway is next to stairs
>don't
>banish the thought from my mind
Moar dank shit
Take your shit sense of humor back to wherever the fuck you came from and kill yourself this shit isn't funny.
Sage goes in all fields
>keep walking
>5 minutes later, wrangler is nowhere in sight still
>no one has been in this hallway for like 10 minutes besides the tard and i
>walk up to tard, try to talk to it
>full potato, doesn't even make eye contact. drooling.
>get behind wheelchair and start to push tard towards stairs
>no reaction
>bottom of stairwell is next to library, which is also closed
>take a deep breath
>tard immune to fear
>tard has no worries of death
>push as hard as i can and fucking bolt it down the hallway
>as i'm literally helo evacuating the area i hear it
>screams
>moaning
>banging
>thumping
>tard wrangler runs out of bathroom screaming
>at this point i'm in another hallway completely
>go to another teacher, tell him i saw the wrangler ("assistant") accidentally let go of the wheelchair
>"i'll take care of this, you go to the office and tell them what happened"
>explain to office BS story
>wrangler tries to explain he was in bathroom
>wrangler gets fired
>never see tard again
>apparently he wasn't badly hurt
guess i'm going to hell
shameless self bump
Yup hell.
you should have jacked off on the tard's face OP
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Great story.