Tfw no gf

>tfw no gf

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last night I dreamed that a young girl was following me around and asking if I wanted cheese pizza
the feds can't get in to my dreams, right??

>tfw no gf to cuddle with under the covers on a cold winter night

>broke up with gf of 4 years 2 months ago
>father passed away last week
>brother killed himself in august
>neighbor popped my tire cause i parked in 'his wife's spot'
>late for big work thing, got fired
>posting here
>my team won tonight

Not sports

I've had dreams 4 nights in a row about having a gf
The first time it was a girl who sat by me in some weirdcircle room and she was cute. The next time I was in a band playing trumpet and a girl next to me put her head on my shoulder and said she like my trumpet playing. The next was a mom in a grocery store who wanted me to marry her daughter, that one was a little strange. And last night I simply had a dream where I was holding a girls hand.
I'm so lonely.

>tfw no pupper

This one hit me harder than a million ex girlfriends

>been three years since my german shepherd passed

>tfw got engaged to gf last week

:(

It's time for bed, dear

>female friend has let me sleep in her bed for 3 nights in a row
>I'm too much of a pussy to make a move

Please tell me how to initiate sex. I keep waiting for her to give me a sign but she just lies there with her back to me.

actually kill yourself

end it

no one will miss you

She invites you into her bed and sleeps back toward you? You're friend zoned so fucking hard the dragonballs couldn't bring you back.

Just enjoy the companionship I guess.

Put a hand on her hip and see how she responds.
If she doesn't push you away wait a few seconds and then you just shove your hand down her pants and grab her pussy really firm

rub your hard dick against her ass and see how she responds worked for me

That's what most people call a recurring dream, user.

that's rape. Asking to sleep with you IS NOT consent

>grab her pussy
Just do this.

jesus christ this is pathetic

>the sound of an empty life

youtube.com/watch?v=6o47N-aYd08

Just start jacking off and see if she joins you. Or if she looks at you while you're doing it and nods then you know it's ok. If she shakes her head then it's bad

>tfw no Zeke girlfriend

That's an invitation to cuddle her you fucking virgin

>Just start jacking off

>trusting other humans to say what you think they mean
>ever

Cum into your hand and wipe it on her back. She will instantly recognize your interest in having sex and grab you by the dick.

bro culture

where in texas are you from

Well I touched her hip and she immediately got all pissed and kicked me out. Thanks for nothing Sup Forums.

Stay strong bro

All I want for Christmas is to get banned from this awful board

Heh

AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
FAGGOT

even if she's sleeping you can have a cheeky go at her if you're careful then play it off as a joke if she wakes up. you can rub your dick head between her cheeks probably without waking her up and even if she does just pretend to be asleep.

uncle l0ll

>you can rub your dick head between her cheeks probably without waking her up and even if she does just pretend to be asleep.

>girl accepts going out with me
>doesnt reply to my messages
>we talk pretty well in person
What does this mean?

I can't laugh at this. It feels too real

she isn't into Satan

This thread is hilarious yet sad. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling bad about no qt to cuddle with while it rains. Meanwhile I just took acid

lol.

what is he gonna say wow weird must have been a ghost. must have been a ghost that rubbed his pecker on you while you were sleeping cause i was sleepibg too

You put her on the spot, and she didn't wanna say no.

I hope you have one of those random acid trips like 40 years from now and get hit by a bus.

Now you don't have to waste any more time "sleeping" in her bed. You fucking cuck

Idiot fuck her now

>tfw dont want an actual full time gf, just someone to cuddle with at night
does anyone else know this feel? i dont want to be tied up in a relationship but i want to fall asleep in someones arms every night, then have them disappear until night comes again

>filename

>tfw gf won't let me put it in her pooper

rethinking this whole gf thing tbqh famalaminos

I thought so. Well, that kinda sucks.

I wonder what would happen if you took the lonely guys from Sup Forums and put them in a room with the lonely girls from tumblr?

mass suicide

Probably a bunch of neckbeards and fattys that think there too good for the other desu

it would smell awful and everyone in the room would think of themselves as better than everyone else in the room

This, I fucking hate people.

>tfw girl liked me for the first time in years
>tfw i fucked it up within a week
>tfw alone again

old Sup Forums senpai

Awkward shuffling of feet and muttering.

>my feet hurt

OH MY GOD JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

All you do is turn around in bed and put your hand on her waist. Thats literally fucking it. If shes into it, you should be able to take it from there you gigantic bitch. If she isn't, she'll let you know and then case closed. BUT DO SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE. Shes basically screaming it at you.

it feels pretty much the same its just another warm moist hole. sometimes you get a little shit on your dick. and you cant go that fast or hard cause she will bitch about it or make you stop. then she wont even suck it or let you fuck her puss until you wash up so youll just go in the shower and tug a nut out and be over it and shell get upset that you dont wanna fuck anymore and youll have an argument before thanksgiving dinner

>tfw work at a coffee shop
>girls keep flirting with me and lingering around
>tfw too autistic to say anything back so I just pretend like they don't exist and ignore them
What am I supposed to say

what the fuck is this? apologize

lol

>tfw love anal porn but have absolutely no desire to put it in gfs pooper

Just smile and say cliche things or that you like there shirt or some shit

wtf I don't wanna do it anymore

Be absolutely sure they aren't just trying to be friendly before you unload your autidm.

i did it with my gf before we moved in together and i became aware that she has awful smelling shits and farts especially during her period. women are fucking gross honestly i get why dudes that have been married for a while dont want to fuck their wives anymore

But I feel 10x more autistic doing that than saying nothing

>tfw to smart to feel

Offer them free coffee so they use you up for free coffee so you can prepare yourself for when you meet real women and finally settle down with a wife.

But their shirts aren't even cool

How the fuck do I aproach girls, lads?

You work at a coffee shop. Its like a bartender thinking all the drunk whores really ARE into him and not just flirting for free shit. inb4 lel i dont give them free shit/i cant give them free shit. Do they know that?

I already give them free stuff. I should also add it's on a university campus, so lots of qts, and I manage the place

Is it gay to like traps?

Have confidence. Start conversing with girls that are near your area of employment/school first to build your self esteem

No wonder they hang around if you give them free shit. You're an idiot.

No

Only if you suck their dick and they cum in your mouth

But I'm a STEM major and there are literally no girls in my classes.

Saying nothing makes you look like a fucking stalker. So its either say ANYTHING or continue to look like a fucking psychopath. This is how shit works in the real world. A girl sends you signals, and you respond to them. Its a normal response to say something/flirt back. Shes sending signals. If she didn't WANT to send those, then she'll stop once you say something. At least then you'll know for sure and fuck it. Some random bitch at a coffee shop dissed you. Who gives a shit? You'll never see her again.

from behind in the dark

Try not being from Mexico. Or use your cartel connections to extort sex from any girl you want.

coffee shops are generally more insular and less openly social than bars, people tend to keep to themselves and the atmosphere is placid. i think you don't leave your room very much

But I give free shit to everyone, they should know that by now

>no girls in my classes
>no girls id consider fucking
big difference.

>tfw trapfu just got back from school and litteraly gonna fuck tonight
Ama lads

>I already give them free stuff.
That's why they flirt with you, stupid.

he literally gives them free shit. i think you don't talk to human beings very much.

traps yes. trans girls no. if you're mostly interested in the dick then yes. most girls with dicks will be turned off if you want to suck their dick and stuff and will think of you as a chaser or a homo, and they dont want a homo

The few girls that are there are strong intelligent and intimidating. I just want a qt Russian who doesn't speak much English

You really are bad at this. Women are so stupid. They just see a guy giving them free shit so they take it. They think you want them so they keep stringing you along, hanging around taking shit from you while "letting" you think that you have a chance.

You might have a chance, I don't know, depends how good looking you are but all women are the same. The end goal for a woman in every case is always to get free shit and to make as little effort as possible.

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How do I gain "coinfidence"?