Roast me: (yes this is a picture of myself)

Roast me: (yes this is a picture of myself)

>>can prove if needed

bottom for me?

Bottom?

>can prove if needed
I'm a professional dick-feature identifier.
They hire me to identify dead people who's faces are fucked up by analyzing their genitals.
Post a picture of your penis and I can confirm whether or not that penis belongs to the face you posted.

Again, this is a respected profession. I'm the best of the best and I can prove it.

Fuck it dude, no fucks given.

All i can think of is n0tail

You look like a fat Ellen degenerous and your penis looks like a fucking thumb.

The shape. The size. The circumcision scar.

Yes. Yes, this one's real, boys. That penis, without a doubt, belongs to the face posted in the OP.
Thank you for allowing me to prove my profession in practice. Hopefully it'll be recognized as the most accurate tool for analysis sometime in the future. Until then, I will be here for you when you bros need me.
So long.

bottom as in i want to see and fuck your bottom. lets see that ass, shawty :)

There is actually another scar near the head from where it got caught in a zipper :'D

How about no, go to your local trap friendly thread, fag.

How can we be sure that the penis is legit though, sir?

What a professional

It is a very well respectable job and very upholding, I hear the pay is nice as well.

Years and years of self training. While my peers were attending school,going to parties, and flirting with girls, I meditated in my room and studied the human genitals and their connection to a person's face.
Again, I've worked for the authorities to identify corpses. This practice is as real as x-rays identifying objects within a person's body.

I would estimated that it has approximately 98% level of accuracy in it's current state. I refuse to charge others to learn this science, but I feel as though the power should be mastered before others attempt it. When that day comes, I welcome you into my dojo.

Damn :') I'm inspired

How the hell did this go from a roast me thread, to comparing faces to cocks?

nigger how long have you been here

Mother fucker I'm the OP, I'm just confused

you're so fucking retarded, Google thinks you're Kim Kardashian

I'm just trying to get roasted

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My phone won't charge

HOW IS THAT RELEVANT WHATSOEVER

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WHAT IS THIS THREAD ANYMORE

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that is one justin bieber lookalike pussy face contest winner

you gonna get roasted by my massive dick

You have nice hair, but the color looks unnatural.
Your cock is really nice, I wish I had one like that. But your pubes are really short and you know what they say about needing a little cushion for the pushin'.
Please tell me how I did. This was my first roast and I'm really nervous. My hands are sweating. I thinknm im' ; gonan passs outt

You did good little buddy you're a trooper

I want to be a dick detective just like user someday.