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I enjoy snorting crushed Ritalin, but I have almost nothing to do all night. How to deal with there being nothing to do?
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weed

I was offered free weed earlier today. I don't know why I did but I turned it down.

Guess I'll go fuck myself then.

play vanilla WoW anathema server or browse 4 chan and fuck around while I drink a couple beers.

Sure thing friend-o

Why not drink something stronger?

I just started drinking again, mate. I made it 30 days sober and I couldn't handle it. So I just got what was in the fridge, which wasn't much unfortunately. I'm kind of in the same boat youre in, but I'll probably end up on WoW sooner or later. Been playing CS up until now. pic related.

Fuck wrong pic..

Explains a lot lol

Ah, I see. Well, hope you have a good time user!

Always do.. I used to snort adderall back in the day. I'd stay up 3 days straight sometimes.
Nothing good came out of it except a few memories.
Take it easy user.

With that amount of hours you really should be at least close to pro level. I had 1800 in 1.6 and attended a few lans (not huge back then) and placed 2nd at a couple.

Join a team bro

Nah too old, but yeah, I was close. I started at age 9 back in 1.3. It's funny how things work, if I could have afforded a decent computer when source came out, I'd probably would have been pro. Instead I decided to drop CS and take a different path.

No regrets though. ofc.. Life is grand at times.
But fucking frustrating, aggravating, and boring at others.
Pro or not pro, ups and downs everywhere you go.

Alcoholic user here with over 2 years sober. Congrats on the 30 days, man. Keep trying. Idk if you tried the AA thing, but it worked for me, and isn't nearly as faggy and dull as I thought it would be.

Lurking if you have any questions or anything.

My friends mom used to take me to those meetings. I didn't enjoy them then, but I wasn't serious about it. I'll probably give it another go here pretty soon. I don't like how they add "giving yourself up to a higher power" in one of the steps though. I'm not religious in the slightest, but I'm guessing I don't have to be and that's just my way to find an excuse.
How often do you go to meetings?

Workout?

Haven't eaten a good meal in four or five days, so that might not be the best idea.

Check this out OP
youtube.com/watch?v=SZZF4pU3shc

Go to a bunch of different meetings. They all have different vibes, and some can have different vibes depending on which day of the week and time of day they're at, because the crowds change constantly.

Most people in AA aren't religious and were put off by the "higher power" stuff. It's really just about internalizing the fact that you're not the absolute most important thing ever (one of my favorite descriptions of alcoholics' self-image is that we're "pieces of shit that the entire universe revolves around") - internalizing as opposed to acknowledging. The other part of it is internalizing that there are things you have absolutely no control over, whether you try your hardest or not at all. That's it. If anyone in AA tries to push anything other than that on you, they're fucking doing it wrong and you should avoid them. It's a tool for restructuring yourself and is just a building block for moving onto the 9 steps that follow it.

When I first got out of rehab, I was in sober living and stuff that required I go to like 5 meetings a week. A lot of people recommend 90 meetings in 90 days, but the 90 days of sobriety part is the most important, as that was around the time when my shit seriously started coming together - there's also some scientific evidence that it takes roughly 90 days for your brain to start majorly rewiring itself.

These days, I go to probably 1 a week - sometimes 2 a week, sometimes 1 in 2 weeks. I do it now just because it's a healthy thing for me to do, like going to the gym or something like that. I never have cravings or obsessive thoughts anymore and haven't for a long time.

Also: AA is totally sort of a cult, but in the most innocuous sense possible. They'll never ask you for shit other than passing around a basket for donations during meetings. It's completely free and decentralized, and they won't fuck with you or your life in any way outside of meetings and alcoholism.

I'll probably go. Sobriety is just so shitty at first.
You said it takes 90 days to rewire your brain, does it lower the cravings at all?
I can't spend the rest of my life jonsing. It just can't happen.

That's been my main concern and it's been killing me.

...

ayyyy so am I hahaha. Got some xanax ready for the comedown too.

Honestly just find something to do. Clean your room or something; once you start doing something you'll keep doing it. Just throw some tunes on.

I personally will first do any chores that need to be done, then either write/play music or gaming.

If that's still of no help, your only other choice is to fap

Fapping is a chore when I'm on something.. I suppose I'll clean my room.

Yeah it can be.

Honestly as lame as cleaning sounds, you'll eventually start to become content just because you're actually being productive. I strongly recommend you listen to music while doing so, it enhances the experience.

I also thoroughly enjoy reading when I'm on ritalin so that might be an option too.

Do you have any benzos? Or opioids available? Mixing either with Ritalin will give you a real chill, euphoric high.

Fuck yeah, nigger. You should definitely be having fewer cravings long before the 90 day mark, but that's when shit really starts taking off.

The thing about cravings is that you've trained your body repeatedly for years to engage in the same behavior as a response to triggers. It just takes time for your brain to start losing those pathways that're so ingrained in it and building new ones.

The part where AA really shines is that all the steps and shit are really geared towards helping to facilitate that process by helping you build better, more functional behaviors and ways of thinking, like normies have. The thing is, we drink because it worked really fucking well for a really long time for all the fucked up "defects of character" we have - that's why we do it.. When you take away the booze, though, those same issues are still there, just as they were there before you started drinking. And yeah, they're fucking miserable. AA helps you get over that shit. No one would bother staying sober otherwise.

All I have is Ritalin and Robitussin pills.

You know, sometimes I wish my OD killed me LOL.
I'm definitely going to try out a few meetings.. I fucking need it, and I can't keep this lifestyle up any longer or else I'd be drunk right now.
Thanks for helping me out, man. I really needed it.

No problem, man. That's literally the ONE thing AA asks you to do is help other alcoholics. Keep going back until you get it, it's definitely worth it. My life is completely turned around compared to what shit it used to be. AA is full of people who've been just as miserable as you and have most likely done way more fucked up, degenerate shit. They'll be a million times more helpful than I've been if you take the jump and reach out and talk to them. Most people show up like 30 minutes before and/or stay for a while afterwards to shoot the shit and chain smoke - this is the best time to meet people.

Most meetings they'll ask if it's anyone's first meeting or if anyone's in their first 30 days of sobriety or something like that - introduce yourself and I guarantee people will introduce themselves after the meeting. Do it, faggot.

Also, if you're in the Austin, Texas area, I'll fucking hook you up.

Godspeed, user. I wish you the absolute best.

Ha close, Dallas here, but I'll fucking do it.

Take care.