How you holdin up, Sup Forums

how you holdin up, Sup Forums

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=4XAUgb_Evto
youtube.com/watch?v=3WOZwwRH6XU
youtube.com/watch?v=ovcnIPL-CWs
youtube.com/watch?v=VtotpiSL700
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

its bad yah know

There's this girl with me in tomorrow's class I wanna hook up with but I'm an autist who doesn't know how to approach a girl unless she's the one who starts talking, so I'm contemplating suicide right now.

feeling sick. saving my slave's wages for a car. cant stop thinking about j pop.

misery

I'm super sick and can't work but I'm getting benefits and charity to help pay the bills until I get better or die and now the managing and obtaining of even more benefits and charity is slowly turning into a full time job of its own. It's really messing with my worldview.

Very bad right now, suicidal thoughts everyday but I'll get through.

im generally shit but ive been feeling better
even met someone cool
wonder when im gonna crash down into depression again tho
hope you make it thru famalam
the world is way more fucked up than you think
i hope you get better tho
no problem in thinking jpop is cool senpai, youre entitled to your own taste
no thot is worth heroing yourself over with
get /fit/ and you will figure it out
good luck
hope it gets better

It's been better.

in china visiting relatives. probably the most i've been depressed

Woke up about ten minutes ago. Got about 8 hours of passable sleep.

Had sex for the first time last Saturday, but I feel incredibly depressed and I don't even know why

Maybe because you finally did it and now there's not that thing to have off in the horizon?
I don't know, sorry if I'm wrong

I feel fucking awesome. Got a distortion pedal and a reverb pedal for my bass guitar, been listening to a lot of new music, and I'm going to hang out with the few friends that I haven't ruined relationships with since we went to different high schools and I was a retard in middle school and freshman year. Still good tho.

Maybe, also I forgot the condom and I make her take the emergency pill, now I am feeling guilty over the fact that she will be sick for 2 months because of my stupid mistake.

Good for you user. It's good that at least one of us it's not feeling bad right now

well i managed to graduate college last semester so thats cool. havent been drinking as much lately. not bad.

Wow this board fucking sucks

Why are none of you happy fuck this im leaving

eh, not so good. feeling incredibly dysphoric and bitter. any album recs for this feel?

Welcome to the chan

still depressed
I'm just trying to keep going but I don't really know what for
can't get the thought of "I'm going to die alone and sad" out of my head
friend needs someone to learn bass and I offered so I might be learning an instrument again, hopefully beyond the beginner level for once

It's so easy to give other people advice but so hard to follow your own

Bloom

Nobody comes here when they're happy.

Going to be attending an award ceremony for one of my old teachers at my high school. Very anxious because I haven't visited the school since I graduated. Scared to see if I'll be welcomed or not.

I feel paralyzed by time
I just finished college and totally destroyed a relationship with a friend of mine by drunkenly spilling my heart to her and its kinda made me hesitant about talking to anyone in that friend group
I've got a job that's not really related to what I want to do lined up for most of the summer and I'm terrified about what comes after
And yet I'm not even trying to use any of my means to find a step towards what I actually want to do, I don't get why
I've never procrastinated from fear before it feels extremely illogical but I just cant get myself to go
I thought after school finished I'd want to relax and try and explore new hobbies before starting work but all I've done is play videogames and go to concerts which is fun but I feel like I'm becoming increasingly shallow as an existence

a-at least I still have good taste in music r-right guys?

My mom died a couple weeks ago. Right now, I'm angry more than anything.

I feel like depression is behind me, but the lack of motivation never leaves. All I've got is this pervasive melancholy feeling.

this too

by who

I'm human trash. I'm Elliot Rodger 2.
When I think of things i've done I'm revolted by who I am.
I'll be back to doing them tommorow.

It seems so dreadful to stay a bachelor, to become an old man struggling to keep one's dignity while begging for an invitation whenever one wants to spend an evening in company, to lie ill gazing for weeks into an empty room from the corner where one's bed is, always having to say good night at the front door, never to run up a stairway beside one's wife, to have only side doors in one's room leading into other people's living rooms, having to carry one's supper home in one's hand, having to admire other people's children and not even being allowed to go on saying: 'I have none myself,' modeling oneself in appearance and behavior on one or two bachelors remembered from one's youth.
That's how it will be, except that in reality, both today and later, one will stand there with a palpable body and a real head, a real forehead, that is, for smiting on with one's hand.

Not good. I'm tired of my life and want some change. I've fucked in the past but ready for something different. My parents are about to lose the house and the car and I'm dead set on doing something. I'm trying to get employed. I need to get to the Union hall (still), so I can get this application in and get into this apprenticship. If I do, they're getting me a job as a electrictions helper and I'll be making the same as I did with my last job. Someone told me on here before that I needed something to fight for, something to risk, and now I have it and I'm driven to do something. I can't help but say I'm still miserable, lonely, depressed, and lovesick.

my gf is a fucking emotional wreck who cant handle not being with me/

...

lol @ blog posts

I started going to the pshycologist again, this are getting better, and I'm playing around with a girl, I have my ups and downs but overall its getting better.

not the best but oh well
youtube.com/watch?v=4XAUgb_Evto

Pretty poorly.

Still think about my ex-girlfriend I broke up with 3 years ago, like literally all the time. It's all day, everyday.

And the worst part is when it comes to getting over her, I can't even find anyone else, because I'm not even attracted to other people at this point. I don't want sex, I don't feel like I want to be laying next to someone at night. I can't even look at another woman and just think to myself "yeah she looks pretty" on a basic level at this point. I just miss my ex and I want her back. She was basically exactly what I wanted in my life and I don't think I'll ever be happy again.

I have therapy tomorrow and I like my therapist, she's the best one I've ever had in my life and I've had many, but I honestly don't feel like there's anyway I can get enough help to get over it. So I'm just gonna lay in bed and listen to the most depressed ambient classical stuff I can find all night.

was gonna compliment you on your prose but its kafka.

if i don't get the three summer jobs i got interviews for im gonna be slumming it up doing nothing and i hate that. i suppose i'm lucky in that even when im my most depressed i still hate the idea of being a useless NEET. my parents are narcissists and my little brother might get taken away by CPS. my depression is slipping into anger and while I enjoy being livid more-so than i enjoy being melancholically groggy, i don't want to end up hurting some poor bystander or getting hurt myself because i'm in some autistic throe of anger.

i do have a psychologist though and my meds are working to stem my hypersomnia; things are getting better but at a much slower pace than i want. i nearly dropped out of first year uni and im not trying to repeat that this following semester.

this live fishmans album is good, at least.

/blogpost

I feel you guys. I'm really stuck right now with nothing on the horizon.

Here's a song that cheers me up sometimes though.
youtube.com/watch?v=3WOZwwRH6XU

I'm thinking in start living as a robot, or an algorithm or something without inner desires; something that lives to do a job. I think living like this will drive me to something, an improvement.

GF of 5 months just broke up with me, I think its because I never manned up and fucked her

This sucks considering this I have the most self esteem I've had in my life and STILL couldn't work up the courage to lose my virginity, so I'm just as much as a dickless coward as I thought originally.

performing in the sack is hard user i always feel this way my first time with a girl but i dont do random hookups, its usually always someone i care about and am attached to and they understand

the second time is always better

keep your head up

Does your lack of wanting to lose your virginity come from performance worries, size, judgment?

What do you call the feeling when you're not asexual but you really don't feel any kind of sex drive with women (or men) unless you're in a healthy relationship and even then, you could survive without sex?

So in other words, you get no pussy because you ever feel like it, you're definitely not gay, and you know you're able to fuck, but you just can't be bothered?

5 months and no sex?? wtf dude you need to get some balls

Depressed.

This was my second time though, I never even got her fucking pants off. She's a virgin too and I thought she would want to take it slow given how her previous relationship though

Some performance worries, mostly judgement. I like [spoiler]fat girls[/spoiler] so my choice of actually attractive women is very slim (lmao) because so few actually pretty ones exist. Said gf was one of them so even though I had a perfect opportunity served up to me on a platter I still managed to fuck it up

Wish I knew how

Knew it. Maybe I never really got over my ex. I saw her yesterday at a party and she was super friendly out of nowhere, so that was nice.

The NEET comfyness is running low, send help.

Yeah I mean it's basically what I was talking about here I'd talk to someone about it, it would probably help a lot.

I guess to make my self-wallowing Sup Forums related, here's my current listenings

youtube.com/watch?v=ovcnIPL-CWs

yeah but you were fighting for someone you'll never have and hates you not fighting for a better life

Didn't see that, I was being a selfish piece of shit and wanted a quick answer.

My case isn't that extreme, but it's similar. Maybe it helps since I'm 18 and this was two years ago. I don't think about mine every day, but it comes up more often than I'd like it to sometimes.

And I'm obviously at that age where my friends get laid every other weekend and want to bust their nuts all the time. They try to cheer me up and hook me up with someone but I genuinely don't care, even girls who I'm friends with have tried.

Funny thing is that I find it extremely simple to talk to women, which is evidently the biggest problem people have.

I feel like everybody else grew up and I'm just here still being somewhat of a boy, but at the same time being a bit more mature and not too reckless.

Drain it

Yeah, I have more important things to be worrying about right now other than Lauren.

>hooking up

you're right, you are an autist

Am I the only one on Sup Forums without depression

Not to minimize that shit, but the worst part of being 18 for me was feeling like I was grown up much more than I actually was and that I knew way more than I did. I'm sure you've probably heard that a million times already in your life and it sounds stupid as fuck but it's actually true.

I know everyone when I was 18 was pretty much entirely absorbed by fucking and it gets pretty annoying, and people will try and get in your head because you don't get laid all of the time or whatever. The truth is, there's nothing wrong with not needing to be obsessed with fucking or just not wanting to have sex literally all of the time, it's not unusual or weird in the least.

As far as girlfriends you have at that age, I know things feel deadly serious at that age, I tried to kill myself over a girl when I was 17 so I know how hardcore shitty things like that can feel, but you actually will get over it in time, believe it or not. I still think about that girl a lot, but not in a way that it still bothers me or hurts me even though I still miss her.

Anyway, I'm just kinda rambling but the tl;dr is I've been there, and now that I'm a little older I've gotten through the other side and you will too.

See a psychologist. Speaking as one, I legitimately worry about seeing you on the news one day. Please get help before that ends up being the case.

I couldn't handle the anxiety at uni and fucked up another semester. I can see my younger brother heading down the same path of depression that everyone in my family is on. I don't know what to do

Nothing like that is ever going to happen. I've been trying to occupy my time with other things than thinking about her. Right now the most important things are priority, like finding a job, losing weight (better health and self image, does wonders for depression)and getting myself together. Not ending up homeless and broke, not thinking about Lauren. I will admit I've form an infatuation with her overtime, but I'm being honest when I say that I know how grandoise it all has been, joking or not. I look back and think about how I never cared who she was as a person at first before the whole "leave a trace" thing. I just listened to their first album, thought she was cute, and that was it.

i mean, im okay. my mom has completely lost her shit, called me yesterday to tell me she met a dude that would rap along to songs and tell the future and that he told her that my brother was molested and someone killed someone over it and that I knew about it and wouldn't tell her
i worry she's gonna turn up dead, but what can you do. just gotta live life

Minimize the shit out of my shit, I agree with everything you said. Maybe I came off a bit too dreadful and angsty but I that's pretty much the opposite of how I feel like.

I think I'm taking burdens I shouldn't have on me right now, by being way too invested in my job and worrying about living by myself when I haven't even graduated.

My friends don't pressure me into anything, and most people know I'm secure about my ideas and personality, so I don't usually get shit for doing rather uncommon shit, you know?

I also have a weird trait of being friends with a lot of different people, so some of them are completely alphas or "jocks" but I fit in perfectly at the same time and feel the same way with them as my artsier and more introverted friends. It's great because I'm not forced into a specific group and I have a lot of people I like around me.

And as far as girls go, I'd say this one was the only proper relationship I've had, but not because it lasted the longest or because I was in love or anything like that. She knew me and could read me like a book, which is something no other girl has been able to do. So other relationships failed because I was always bored and felt things were monotonous.

I was extremely immature and innocent when we broke up, so back then I felt like dying and couldn't eat for weeks, basically didn't leave my house for a couple of months. I regret that now, it wasn't necessary, and it complicated things, since she was in an odd place emotionally. She's happier now I think, but has been cheated on twice since then.

tl;dr: I was really happy and comfortable, could never get into that space again. Not only because of her, but a lot of things happened in my life.

It all started when I was frequenting the threads and looking into who she was as a person. Finding out we had things in common lit that fire, and made me think "wow, she's amazing". I'll admit this has been going on for too long, and I want to move on from it all. We'll never be together, I won't be around her, I won't be involved in my life. She won't ever be in mine, even though at one time I wanted her to be. She just took my mind off the things that have been going on for the last 3 years. All the problems and everything else that's been going on in my life. It was an escape, an unhealthy escape from my shitty reality. My life has been falling apart since then and there's been no other obvious sign in my life that I need to get out of here and on with my life than whats been going on. She's the type I go for, and she fits into everything I've ever wanted, and I'm will to admit the reality. I'm willing to admit I got way to caught up on her, I'm willing to admit that I was wrong, I'm willing to admit that I got way to wrapped up in everything and started to believe the things I read.

Been stuck at home since I got back home from school. The job I normally work over the summer and my back-up job fell through. I've been in my room for the last month trying to occupy my time but the comfort of doing nothing 24/7 is starting to wear thin, I'm running out of money, and living with my parents is suffocating.
Have you thought of taking a term or two off? It's better to take a break than to get kicked out. At the very least you can try and take a few less classes and take advantage of student support/mental health services if your uni offers something like that.

I let my rebound go because she said she was incapable of feeling affection.

She has an ugly past and I'm worried that she'll go back to some old and ugly habits. But that's as a friend.

Right now, I miss the girl before her. She was so great. I miss her so much.

Not too great desu. I'm about to start college, and I have no fucking clue what I want to do with my life. Had everything planned up till now, but everything just went out the window. Currently registered for a Bio major, cuase I love sicence, but I don't know how practical that is. Just listening to anything right now, trying to get any emotions I can that aren't anxiety.
/blog

Hope you like medicine or animals.

I'm pretty sure I had a psychotic break last night. I'm gonna make an appointment with a psychiatrist, but I feel as though no amount of pills will be able to fix my shit life. I should probably just kill myself before something worse happens.

I'm 19 and I'm desperately trying to avoid finding a job
It's just so stressful having to go somewhere at a set point everyday and having to do something I probably won't like. Had a temporary job at a library that was good, but I can't seem to find something like that again. Not to mention that I can't handle talking to random people, so I can't handle being a cashier

I do. One of the things I want to do in a job is help others, so maybe I can find something there to do.

I won't be involved in her life, and she won't be involved in mine I meant. I was just typing out my thoughts. I never meant to make it seem like I'm crazy, I was just playing along with a lot of it. I just thought about her too much. I'm trying to move on from this, her, my problems, and be a happier person.

>I can't handle talking to random people
i thought this too, been a cashier for a year. its not that bad. you can just say, like mmhmm and oh wow to their menial bullshit, not gonna get you fired

sometimes hitting rock bottom is what some people need to re-invent themselves and get better
things happen for a reason Brandon.

Yeah, a lot of biology is learning about organic matter. It's a lot of work, but I have had friends who pulled through.

I could never work in a lab or be really good with that shit, so I decided on Political Science and Journalism degrees.

nothing happens for a reason but if you can hit rock-bottom for years and not be dead there is hope yet that you can hit some base-line and not be dead.

Stop asking Sup Forums for help. See a professional. Get professional help.

I am going to put this as bluntly as I can: if you do not go see a therapist, you will never get better. Ever. Period.

You have serious, serious problems.

You won't be able to fix yourself on your own. And you need to stop coming to Sup Forums with this. You will never get help here either.

I really don't think my father and brothers growing descent into drug addiction(again)eventually growing into money and property getting stolen from me and us very possibly losing the house and car happened for a reason. For a while, I was paying the bills, keeping the lights on, car payments, and groceries. They started feeding off me until I had nothing anymore.

There's nothing I need to get professional help for, my problems can be fixed on my own. I'm just in a weird place right now. I'll get out of this, and I'll be fine. If I feel like I'm getting worse off I'll get help, but until then, I'm going to keep trying to better myself and my life.

I've already admitted I was in over my head over the whole Lauren thing, trying to forget her and all of the stupid shit. There's nothing more I can say.

Fucking amazing my dude, I feel on top of the world right now.

The interesting thing is that I have gotten numerous compliments from everybody who reads my writing. I scored perfect on ACT English shit. I enjoy many other things besides science class, but I'm worried about career options. I'd love to try psych or like you did, pol sci, but I don't want to fuck up with my parents and all. To keep it Sup Forums related, I sure am glad I listened to Illinoise. Fun album.

when the fuck does this ever happen?

Yes, there is. Stop making excuses and get help or be miserable.

Those are your choices.

Brandon.....

I literally never see you post without mentioning Lauren. Why do you pretend you don't have a problem? You do. Accept it or absolutely nothing will change for you.

>girl sends me snapchat selfie where she's clearly topless

is this as obvious a sign as I think it is

Do you know me personally to be making these claims that I need help or are you just assuming that I do? I'm just in a shitty place right now and formed an infatuation with someone, and know how retarded it all is. Nothings going to happen to me, and nothings going to happen to Lauren or anyone else.

Just casually mention it and if she says something flirty, you'll know.

Out of habit, boredom, it gets me attention. That's why. Like what you're doing right now, giving me attention. I don't get it anywhere else, from anywhere else, so I have to talk about some celeb to get it on Sup Forums. It's not healthy, and I see the error in it.

It's more that I'm paranoid about someone yelling at me or seeing someone I knew from high school.

>stalk some stupid fucking musician
>chronicle it all
>get a restraining order against you or some dumb bullshit (i can't remember)
>family with a history of drug addiction
>family that steals from you
>blogposting on Sup Forums about all of this
>too retarded to seek help

the fact that you formed an unhealthy infatuation ala the bjork guy is proof in and of itself that you will never "fix" the life that currently lays in shambles before you.

being self aware to some degree =/= knowing how to fix your deep-seeded psychological issues. you can't think your way out of a thinking problem, you huge fucking aspie. kill yourself or get help, but preferably kill yourself.

did you really go your local police department over the restraining order thing or were you just fucking with people?

how the hell do you forget a condom

I never stalked her, or had any plans to. That shit started because I had previous plans to go to a rally in NYC. The assumptions were made that I was going there to stalk her. Which wasn't going to happen. It's been something I've been wanting to do for years.
I did, just for the reason that I was worried about the damage having something like that on my record could do to me socially and finding jobs etc. I never meant any harm to her or anyone else and I never meant to make people see me in a negative light because of it.

Good and bad. My problems are pretty menial compared to you guys but it's nice to write about them sry.

I'm finally over my ex. Fucking finally after two years, even though she has a new boyfriend. She broke up with me "to do her own thing" which is bullshit and I'll never know the true reason which has made me really insecure. I lost a lot of friends cause of her, I never see them cause they were on her side. But I'm feeling much better about it.

Gone soft in the three girls I've hooked up with since. I'm a huge pussy and only get laid when they throw themselves at me. Then I literally can't get it up in bed and they get pissed.

Somehow finished college and I'm trying to move to LA and write a screenplay. I know it's delusional but it's the only thing I could see myself doing. Majored in something I hated and I'm basically a lazy piece of shit who could never do a real job because I have no motivation. And don't have one, either. Lot of uncertainty but it could be worse. The only thing that would stop me from killing myself is that I could never do that to my mom.

if he feels like he doesn't and has given explanations for the way that he felt then he's at least self aware enough to know when his thought process isn't normal

You'll be doing writing in Science. Lots of it. Especially post-grad. With Poli Sci, you can basically pick up work as an analyst or something at the local, state, national, or international (my specialty) level.

I don't like Stevens that much, but I've been listening to a lot of Computer Magic because Danz looks like my ex. I really do miss her.

personal thread theme
youtube.com/watch?v=VtotpiSL700

I'd shoot your screenplay if you're willing to help secure funding for gear.

Go indie, nigga.

That alone means basically nothing.

He knows it's not normal, but he has zero clue how to steer himself back towards normal. And he won't seek help on how to do that either, which is the only way that dude will ever be happy.

So he's fucked to be miserable for the rest of his life basically.

Bored for most of the summer cuz I have no life. Still sad about a girl I had a very brief thing about. I'm still going to try to read a lot and make a lot of money before UNI.

you're on Sup Forums people could/can be fucking with you over this and you're taking the bait every time
you know yourself more than someone on here

sorry things have been shitty for you Brandon but keep your head up and stay focused on getting yourself better.