Shit that has happened to you or witnessed that no one would believe if you told them

Shit that has happened to you or witnessed that no one would believe if you told them.

Also dubs thread or whatever.

Other urls found in this thread:

amazon.com/Introduction-Quantum-Mechanics-David-Griffiths/dp/0131118927
m.youtube.com/watch?v=i45pYq-58po
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Poltergeist threw rocks at me and my friend. Threw a basketball into my head once.

kek

Not a very interesting one but when I was like 10 or some bullshit, was at a Walmart ( Mid-low Classfag ) and back when they had those Gamecube demo consoles where you can play demos of different games. SSBM just came out and I wanted to try out the demo. Kid got in front of me and started playing before I could even get near the damn thing. So I watched him play for a bit as Mario fighting against Link. and I swear to god I seen Mario do the god damn Final Smash he does in brawl, after he stopped playing I tried to pull that same shit. Never could, told my friends about it, called me a liar, got triggered when I seen Brawl come out a few years later with that exact shit I seen.

Captivating shit I know.

Saw my aunt at a swingers party. Didn't fuck her or anything but did cum on her arse

I havent told any of my friends this because i know they wont believe me.

Im happy though, i dont need to share....

3 weeks ago it was raining so i went into a cafe for a late night coffee before going home. Things were quiet and the waitress came over and just chatted with me. She was a solid 8, really well groomed, conservative librarian look. Red hair tied back, glasses.
I just acted all 'yeah whatever' and talked about any old crap like you do with someone random. I said something about gangster rap, she laughed. She asked if I wanted anything else, touched my shoulder. Another minute of talking she touched my arm. Lots of smiles and laughing at stuff I said

I realised we could be onto something here, never had a chick give such obvious signals.

Asked her what she was doing when she finished work. She said 'hopefully I'll be doing you.'

My. Jaw. Dropped.
Said to her I'll be at the Japanese diner around the corner. She told me would take her 20 mins to close up but she would be as quick as she could.

I go to next place and shit bricks. She turns up and sits down across from me. We play footsies as I finish my udon. She says she has never been so forward with a guy before. Just wanted to seize the moment.

I book a room at the hotel across the street.

And yeah, no fresh princes, no walking dinosaurs, this shit really did happen. And you can understand why I haven't shared it with anyone, no one would ever believe this happened.

Moral of the story, you just never know what life has in store for you. And thank fuck I was held back at work that night and it was raining.

Shit user that's just heart warming as fuck. I got nothing else to say other than that.

I once had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

Haha. I'm still riding a fucking cloud. It was that good a night.

I've been tempted to go back there and just see how she's doing. But I won't, it'll just be weird and I don't think there's any more chapters to this story. Happy to leave it at that, when I'm 80 years old I'll still remember that awesome night.

"Late night coffee"

Sounds like a great name for a chapter in my book

Yup. Call the book "shit that never happened"

I nearly got hit by a dude that was running from the police

>be me, sitting at a red light, heading to friend's to drop him off from a night of smoking weed
>chilling in middle lane cuz it's the most comfy
>notice some lights in rear view mirror, approaching quickly
>seemed to be in right lane...none of my concern
>swerving commenced a couple hundred yards before reaching me
>I put my car in 1st gear and gunned it to the left
>guy being chased by police missed me by less than a foot
>dropped friend off safely
>got home safely

bump

Nah call it tales of the unexpected and end it with her shoving her fat cock up him

unbelievable...no dubs yet

I have a strong feeling im supressing something that happened to me at a young age (2-5 years old) I think I was abused.

>announces no dubs yet

Next Post:
DOUBLE DUBBBBBSSSSS!!!!!!

Coincidence? You be the judge.

> be me busy day doing shit in downtown brissy
> warm day feeling good lunchtime getting hungry
> decide mickey D's before I do anything else
> standing on corner of George and turbot st with a million other people waiting at the lights
> green man.
> still thinking of lunch
> start to cross the street
> hear man yell
> random hand grabs my shirt and yanks me back
> 18 wheeler piss bolts through the intersection
> centimeters from my nose

If that hand hadn't grabbed me I would've been killed

> look around to see who saved my life
> everyone just walking around like normal
> no one gives a fuck anymore, they've all got shit to do
> I get lunch and think 'fuck I'm alive'
> realise my squished guts could've been on a rekt thread
> gave my missus an extra hard rooting that night

Was in Pukhet, Thailand, smoking a cigarette outside of a club, three drunk Russians were harassing an old man selling trinkets and shit out of his cart. Some little thai dude (looked to be about 16 years old), weighed probably 130 pounds, walks up to three 20-something russian guys, says nothing, elbows grabs one by the back of the collar and as he turns his head around to look, the kid throws a flawless fucking elbow into the dudes mouth and absolutely fucks him up. The other two are standing there, mouths open, and the kid starts yelling, doing muay thai patterns in the middle of the street, kicking and throwing bows and knees and shit (ong bak style), they looked like they were getting ready to team up on the kid and a bunch of thai dudes all converged on them and the gopniks all stumbled away. Was pretty sweet.

Kek at the end.

Why?

That's pretty damn impressive.

Well she fucked me pretty hard back. It made her realise how much she loved me.
As it happened she turned out to be a useless cheating slut of a whore but that's another story for a different thread

got shot in the head by a ghost man once. When I was like 8 years old. He was screaming "where's my gun?!" while I was chillin in my room. Then when I ran out of room he was standing in hallway with a rifle. shot my ass, I screamed, he disappeared. Parents came running into hallway asking why I was crying like a little bitch. Later asked parents if someone owned house before us, some old ass fart who hunted. they also found a rifle in my bedroom closet when we were moving in.

Looking back on it I can barely believe it myself and it sounds like it's out of some low budget movie. But I know it happened.

Yeah okay.

funny. I was going to post the same exact image with my post but clicked spongebob instead.

it's true, I'm telling you! TRUE!

Bumping coz this thread has potential anyone seen someone die or a full on car crash or some shit irl?

If I told you, you wouldn't believe me and call me all kinds of awful names.

What year was this?
Could have been a waveform collapse due to experiments at CERN, or as some call it the Mandela effect.

I saw a car turn from a highway off ramp onto a major avenue then get hit out of the blue by an idiot speeding so fast even I didn't see it until it hit the turning car. The impact was so strong, it looked and sounded more like an explosion than a crash. Incredibly, I saw the driver of the hit car get out and walk around aimlessly all dazed and at risk of being run over by morons continuing to drive. Meanwhile, his car started pouring gas onto the pavement since it had taken most of the force in the rear end. I called 911 from my mobile phone. Probably a dozen others had already called because the dispatcher told me that they already were on the way.

Shit like that freaks me out. That one second you're minding your own business thinking about what youll have for dinner and the next you're nearly killed by someone else's inattention.

I'm a brisfag too. Know the corner you are referring to

I'm still lurking the thread. Think of me next time you're on the corner and imagine me splattered all over the road. :-)

Saw a couple fucking on the banks of the Seine right in the middle of Paris at 4pm. Does that count?

Just looked weird AF coz the city was carrying on like normal around them.

Alright I might have a couple of stories for you.

>7th grade, outside in the street playing with friend

>see 10 ft. Tall figure in shadows next to tree at corner of street 30-40ft away

>freeze up

>get ballsy and start yelling at "him".

>"hey faggot what are you staring at?"

>starts walking towards me and my friend

>run inside, get kitchen knives

>run back out

>figure gone

>wtf.jpg

>spend all night waiting for it to come back

>never does

Still freaks me out thinking about it to this day. We told my friends parents and they just laughed at us and thought we were just playing around. We were scared shitless.

Saw a guy die at work. Nothing serious. An old man just sat on a bench and had a heart attack -then fell on the floor. Worst part was people were just walking by like it was no big deal.

>Heading down interstate and see blue lights in mirror.
>Assume I'm getting pulled over (I speed a lot)
>Myself and other traffic slows down a bit
>10 miles later I still see blue lights
>getting closer but taking forever
>Myself and all other traffic are moving at a crawl
>realize 5 cops are chasing a car at ~15 miles per hour on the interstate
>the car slowly passes me and it's a completely oblivious black dude.
>He casually slows to a stop in front of me in the middle of the road and blocks all traffic.
>cop tanks the guy out of his car, throws him into the side of the car and then puts a gun to the back of his head
>mfw I'm about to witness a murder y'all
>cop doesn't shoot but just arrests the guy and directs traffic around

Same fag here with another story

>17 y/o (2009)

>about to be a new dad

>go to wal mart with mom for groceries

>get in car, put in CD (periphery 1)

>start drive home

>track 1 is playing (insomnia

>turn onto highway 50 to go over mountain back to Tahoe

>30 min. Drive from wal mart in Carson to house in Tahoe

>all of the suddenly 5 minutes from home

>still on track 1 (insomnia) 3 minutes in

>mom and I both,"wtf.jpg?"

>"mom did y-"

>"yes user I did, I think we went through a work hole..."

>mfw transported through space to end up 5 minutes from my house within a couple minutes

Still talk about it with my mom from time to time, shit was bizarre af. When it happened we didn't notice. And we both lost two minutes of our day that day. Aliens? Wormhole? Who knows. But we don't recollect how we were able to travel 30 minutes in 2 minutes.

Once I was a child (9-13) and I was tkaing my plate to mum to see if I'd eaten enough fucking vegetables to get a fuckin' bellyfull of that good shit (ice cream - napolian masterrace)
All of a sudden I think 'holy shit I can hold this plate with my mind' and did it. Just levitated that shit.

I still try to move shit with my mind now but sadly that one time was the highlight of my X-man career.

Alright that's weird I'll give you that. Good song too.

When I was 16 I was investigating what looked and felt like a pimple on my side, near my ribcage. It felt hard so I decided to pop it. A fair bit of blood came out and also a perfectly spherical black metallic object the size of a pea. I washed it off to get a better look but it fell down the drain. Still have no idea what it was, scared the shit out of me at the time.

>17
>About to be a new dad
>Nigger

I was a child prostitute (sorta) for about three years being pimped out by my father. Between ages 11 to 14 I was active. If I had to guess I probably had sex with around 40 different people during this time, although many clients were regulars. I don't think Sup Forums is the best place to discuss this I just wanted to throw it out there.

A thirteen-year-old forced herself on me when I was twenty-four.

I don't know where she learned to do junk like that, probably from her parents. I worked with her father, who'd invited me over for some barbecue thing.

>Drinking
>Shooting the shit while food's cooking
>Coworker realizes he's out of beer
>Sends his wife for more
>Head inside to take a leak
>Pass the teen on my way through, she's playing with her cell phone on the couch
>Already met the girl by this point, think nothing of it
>On my way back through, stop to check the progress on the football game
>Take a seat on the sofa, thinking nothing of it
>I'm short
>Very, very short
>I mean, 4'8"
>I'd have leaned over the back of the couch, but that would have required more work than it should
>Commercial eventually comes on, start to get up to head back outside
>Feel a hand on my crotch
>Girl's got moon eyes
>Laugh and start to pull away, only for her to swing a leg over and pin me
>She giggles, apparently overrun by hormones, and sticks her tongue down my throat before I can say anything
>Stunned and more than a little tipsy
>She manages to get my fly undone and my dick out before I shake it off
>Start struggling, only for her to straddle it and start grinding
>This chick is heavy and a little over a head taller than me, I can't get her off me
>Really don't want to be caught with this crazy bitch
>Quietly let her continue until her father calls her from outside
>She stops, sulks, and gets off me to go see what he wants
>Flee back to the bathroom
>Take a few minutes to get my shit together
>Step back out and avoid eye contact with the girl, who'd started lounging in a lawn chair by the grill
>Tell coworker something came up, have to take care of it, and take a rain check on the barbecue
>Drunkenly drive back home and shower

Coworker later mentioned that she calls me "uncle" now. Fuck my life.

Here's the thing about Sup Forums
You won't be the only one. I can relate. Sorry that shit had to happen to you. Hope you are in a good place now.

Sure, nigger, let's go with that.

Checked.

Top tier song indeed. It was som spooky shit m9. I have other stories too but I'm going to bed soon, might do a thread like this later this week with more spooky shit.

That's pretty spooky.

Goddamn that's heavy. What country?

Quit, relocate, get new job.

Thanks user. I guess you went through something similar. Sorry to hear that.

USA

How the shit does anyone get away with anything like that with the internet around? I have so many questions I don't even know where to start. Did he ever get caught? Prison time? You still see him? Where did life go after that? Where are you in life now? I was molested by my mom but that's it. She never had others participate or anything like that.

Cheers friend. I paid off my fathers gambling debts.

Never shared it with anyone. Even on this anonymous Mongolian basket weaving forum. Have you ever thought about making an AMA or just feel it would bring out creeps?

That's got to be the dumbest shit I've ever read. Jesus Christ dude pick up a god damn textbook before you pretend to know anything. You remind me of these fucking yoga addicts that say "by the laws of quantum mechanics the universe was formed by the great wind spirit". Seriously. Go fuck yourself.

Dumfuk?
Better?

This was years ago. iPhones were still cool then.

The company went under two years after it happened, and I ended up moving across the country. [spoiler]And then something similar happened when I tried to get a new job there, except this time with an adult weeaboo chick that I was roommates with. She was even bigger and more rough.[/spoiler]

There's no cure for shitty luck.

tell us the story faggot

Why not? Idc

That's really weird. I've never had a girl ever in my life try to rape me. Bizarre. Though I'm like 6 ft. So yeah, I would just over power them lol.

a teenage boy tried to get me to suck his dick when i was ~5yo

hell if you guys believe me then that more than my mother ever did

>How the shit does anyone get away with anything like that with the internet
He actually met these people online. I don't know exactly where, I was only a child. I should point out I'm 23 now so this began over a decade ago.
>Did he ever get caught? Prison time?
Nope. I had the chance to report it for years but never did because various reasons. Mostly fear.
>You still see him?
I saw him in 2015. I thought maybe he had changed but i was wrong. My visit didn't go well and I decided I won't be seeing him again.
>Where did life go after that?
I left the house at 15. It's a long story and possibly even more unbelievable so I'll just leave the details out for now
>Where did life go after that? Where are you in life now?
Pretty boring. I live on my own as a NEET. I should get a job but most jobs around me aren't worth losing my welfare for. Sorry about your mother though. Any kind of abuse is awful.

I've talked about it a bit before but never in detail. I find that most people just want me to describe the sex so they can get off, which is eh, is what it is.

UFO. Saw them one night, two lights playing with each about 3 miles of distance into the sea. They would stop, accelerate and change to opposite directions like nothing I had seen before. I was in patrol that night, was a young kid. Had two others with me in patrol that saw same thing for about an hour before they went away.

Next morning we wrote down the night report with a factual description of what we three saw, get told by the Sargeant to quit playing around. Nobody will ever believe whatever we say, this was almost 20 years ago. Still haven't seen any aircraft doing the same maneuvers like those were doing.

I guess it's a power thing, in some way. Women that tend towards being abusive are prone to getting grabby with me, probably because they feel like they're in control or something.

Also,
>6ft.

Tell me your short jokes. I only have a few minutes, so you should be able to cram in eleven or twelve of them.

I believe you Sup Forumsro

I once was in a thread where op wasn't a faggot.

Note, it wasn't this one.

You are spazzing out.

You are barely making any sense.

It's clear that you're not particularly smart, I could list an indication of this in pretty much every sentence you've managed to put together.

Judging from all of this yeah dude you sure seem like a totally reliable source of knowledge.

I bet you've got a Ph.D. in faggotry.

I'm genuinely curious about the long unbelievable story. Damn dude, girl or guy, I'd totally give you a hug. Why'd he do it? Is he just a sick piece of shit or what?

That's really fuckng weird.

I don't have any short jokes tbh. I'm a pretty humorless person, I got one joke that I tell everyone.

What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't throw a bag of cocaine out the window.

Ill be here all week.

Thx for your reply.
Good to see youre still fighting. As you know many people with similar backgrounds don't make it this far. I fully expected to at worst have killed myself or at best be living under a bridge by this point.

Friends of mine told me stories of the crazy things they have seen girls do.

Think to myself, wish I ever experienced anything interesting like these stories just once. (be 27 at the time, and dont care so much now, more so just wished that sort of thing happened when i was younger and more sex crazed.)

friend comes to my house, and a female friend of his tags along.

later on i go upstairs by myself, and she wants to tag along for some reason.

i dont really see a reason to say no, as im just grabbing something, or doing something equally as quick.

once upstairs, she grapples my waist, and pulls my pants down, and starts sucking.

This happens within like 2 seconds or less.

Took me another 3 seconds to even realize what just happened.

I realize shes been drinking, and im at the point where im not sure if shes 18 or not (shes 19) and if she has STDs or not, so i quickly pull her off.

Some time passes, and I end up dating the girl.

Later on another night, my friends who told me "stories" of all the crazy things they've seen girls do, come over, and they all freeze in place when they see her.

One of them comes upt o me, and whispers "Dude! Thats the chick!"

me: "What chick?"

him "The chick I kept telling you about in our stories!"

me: "You mean they were all of the same girl, and not different girls?"

him "Yeah, just her, shes friggin crazy!"

and sure enough, they are right, she is crazy, but im still dating her.

there's been some slightly odd sexual stuff every so often, but it becomes "normalized" pretty quickly. Stuff doesnt feel weird after the 1st 2 years.

Darude - sandstorm

>>amazon.com/Introduction-Quantum-Mechanics-David-Griffiths/dp/0131118927

Educate yourself. No one else can do it for you.

To be brief, I was a childhood schizophrenic, which is very rare if you know anything about schizophrenia. My symptoms mildened with age but from around 9-13ish I was very unstable and my father used my poor mental health to take advantage of me. My mother committed suicide when j was 10 so nobody knew what was going on. He only turned abusive after her death. Anyway, once I was 15 I attempted suicide and got put in a psych ward like all kids who fail suicide, and I loved it there and didn't want to leave. Mentally, I was actually alright. Yeah, I hated my life and I wanted to die, but I wasn't insane like I used to be. But nobody else knew that. I pretended to be insane until I was 18 so I didn't have to go home. With my long history of diagnosed schizophrenia nobody doubted if I was faking or not. And why would they?

As for why my dad did it, I don't have the exact reason. I think he just got off on the power. We weren't especially poor. We weren't so hard up for cash he had to pimp me out.

What stuff? What's the shit she does?

That's some wild shit. I went to a mental institution once for failed suicide attempt. That's another story altogether I'm just interested in yours. Makes for a good reason to not go to bed today. So what do you do for fun nowadays? What are your hobbies? Do you date or is your sex drive completely nonexistent? The shit with my mom turned me into a complete teenager for life. 25 now and I want to fuck anything and everything still. When I have a gf. I fuck 5-6 times a day it's ridiculous. And of course I have a bunch of shit fetishes now that society frowns upon and are illegal in some states.

...

The suicide if your mother must really have done a number on your dad.

Hate hearing stuff like that, a parent has no excuse to not wait with suicide until their child is at least 18 years of age.

Just 8 more years in order to stop her daughter from going down the same road as her.

Btw why haven't you killed your dad yet? I would have burned his house down at very least.

user probably hasn't killed dad for the same reason I haven't killed my pedo mom. Think about it.

>starts dating girl who sucks his dick upon first meeting
>surprised to find out she's a psycho slut

>So what do you do for fun nowadays?
What are your hobbies?
I'm really boring. I just play league of legends all day while listening to cringy emo music. I don't do much else. When I'm not doing that I browse the internet until I get sleepy, like I'm doing now.

> Do you date or is your sex drive completely nonexistent?
My sex drive is nonexistent (thanks anti depressants) but I have a bf. He's the first and only partner I've had, but I'm not a good partner back so I think I may break up with him eventually. It's not him, it's me. I get really obsessive and clingy and it makes me feel like shit and I don't think I'm cut out for relationships. It's too much work for someone so childish as I am.
Lol, well in that 2015 visit I mentioned above I tried to stab him. He broke my arm in self defense and we just kinda agreed to drop it and never talk to each other again.

I once went to a local pot shop where they were having a raffle and I got a ticket. I won a HUGE basket of weed and edibles. I mean several ounces. Had weed for months.

You a guy, girl, trap? I've attempted to cut my mom off before. Everytime I do though she starts going off about killing herself. She's super clingy to me and abnormally emotionally attached. Sometimes I think she molested me because she actually feels she needed to express her love for me that way. I feel bad for her. I mean, I KNOW I'm crazy, but she's whacked. What cringy enough music?

I think my girlfriend was possessed, and so did she..
She shook for about 2 hours after it happened and I held her the whole night.. Will explain if anyone is interested

I wasnt surprised about her being a slut, thats what I liked best about her lol.
It was her over the top anxiety issues I had to deal with for years, before she got them under some control that I was surprised by.

>4"8
dont worry user
They all think your a child too

I'm a biological female. It doesn't sound like you dislike your mother very much, I get the impression you still care a lot about her despite what she did to you.
>what cringy enough music?
You mean what I listen to? Well here's what I'm listening to at the moment
m.youtube.com/watch?v=i45pYq-58po
I don't like the opening track but the other tracks are pretty good IMO. Post-hardcore emo isn't for everyone though, it's an acquired taste.

I think that one went over my head, man.

Try for another one? Or do you not want to sink to my level?

I used to date a femi-nazi, I was complacently under her control for 6 months. one time she showed me her manga and bad dragon collection that's where i drew the fucking line and chose people over pussy.

I still play league of legends

She needs to realign her spiritual energy in this world or has a chance to be targeted readily. If she was possessed she doesn't have the will power to face demons in their realm.

Ill tell you what happened.
It was probably around mid night, and we had some discussions about sex. She thought we had too much sex and I did not think the same way. Well whatever just relationship issues at that time, its all fine now anyway.

> She has some issues with sex life then right
> Later that night we were going to sleep
> She starts getting horny it feels like
> I wasn't in the mood
(She's not the person that likes to masturbate, not when im around at least, also we have been together for 4 years)
> I hear her breathing more loudly
>Feel her vagina running up and down my leg
> Feel her hands going to her clitoris and she starts masturbating wildy
> She makes all the perfect sounds that make me semi-hard, and she keeps masturbating so wild
>Starts getting creepy since she never done that
> I talk to her, she starts screaming and shaking
> We both feel this darkness leaving her body after I stopped her and held her.
> Shakes for a few hours still, and doenst want me to let her go.

> I asked her this: We both felt the same thing right? Just to make clear? She answers: Yes, and keeps on crying,

Also im taking a shower so brb in 5 min, ill show quick

heres the 411
Your short
so they've confused you with another child so being caught would put you in an orphan situation

Are you implying you identify as something else? I didn't even know people still listened to, and produced post hardcore like that anymore. Not since the fall of Troy, chiodos, hawthorn and heights, Silverstein, blindside etc. all kind just fell of the map into obscurity. I used to be all about post hardcore like 11 years ago. I still go back to it sometimes when the mood strikes.

It's not not that I don't dislike my mom, it's that she's sick in the head from her own past abuse that she endured and told me about, and I can't blame her for being sick. She needs help, bad, that's for sure, but I'm not about to go kill my mother. It's not like she's a bad person, she's just fucked up up stairs and needs some extreme therapy and to be institutionalized. I'm reasonably upset over the decade of abuse. I just don't really know what to do about it. Btw I suppressed all of this until about 4 days ago. I literally just remembered all of this shit 4 days ago. So I'm kinda still processing.

When I was a kid I touched my nipple and a little nipple colored stone came out. I still have no explanation. Maybe random stone stuck to nipple and exactly nipple colored by chance? Confused me for years because I thought loosing your nipple stones was a part of growing up.

Pls someone

Hi Im just flying by, check em ^

Get her to a neurologist and check for spinal injuries
I used to feel a similar sensation when i found out i had bone cancer

You seem really desperate to be heard, we're reading. Keep at it m8. So far still waiting for something cool to happen other than "feeling of darkness" *cringe*

You need to quit smoking meth.