Hey Sup Forums, so my family treats me like total shit and shames me all the time for practically nothing...

Hey Sup Forums, so my family treats me like total shit and shames me all the time for practically nothing. Im in a current situation where i have to live with them for a little while. Ive been so depressed i have lost any confidence to work and i have been having thoughs of suicide more and more.

All hell is breaking loose on me because some stupid shit. i caught a rat, killed it, and threw it away and i didnt do it the way they would have.
It sounds really silly but the things that are said makes me not want to live.

So with that said, ive never tried anti depressants and was wondering if anybody could help. This isnt for recreation this is literally medicinal because its almost impossible to hang on. Ive never been treated nice in my life.

What are the effects im kind of scared but i think im going mental and i always feel every second im awake that im just milimeters from crying. Ive lost all interest in things i used to like and im so shaken up i cant function anymore. Im only ever ever happy in my dreams or when im hugging my dog.

I wanted to get it perscribed but obamacare believe it or not is shit and my family says im just filthy druggie trash if i need anti depressants or anxiety meds. I really think i have these issues.

Sup Forums pls help.

>dosent remember the last time i was happy.

Other urls found in this thread:

e-chat.co/room/201004
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

pic relate says it all OP

probably just go ahead and kill your family instead of killing yourself

sounds like they are miserable shitlords and are trying very hard to bring you down with them

the fact you haven't turned into a total shitlord yet says there's still hope for you

I know how you feel dude. I also come from a highly dysfunctional, toxic, judgmental family that has zero understanding of anyone else's problems but their own. Fuck your family for shaming you about wanting to try antidepressants.

I've been on them off and on over the years, more specifically Prozac and Zoloft. They help to an extent but it's fairly subtle. Zoloft gave me a lot of side effects (brain zaps, couldn't cum, headaches, etc) while Prozac barely gave me any side effects (or benefits). Antidepressants are trial and error. Some work relatively well, while others don't do jack shit. You can get generics of most antidepressants for like $4 at Wal-Mart or most other major pharmacies.

Also how old are you? If you're at least 18 then your dumbass parents don't have to know about any prescriptions you might get. Either way, just go to a primary care doctor and get what you need. Lie to your parents if you have to and just say you feel like shit. PMPs will prescribe antidepressants for you, you don't necessarily need to see a psychiatrist for it

Here a confidence option, Don't give a fuck, but don't not to yourself i mean like who give a shit who think of you, screw your fanily find a job so you can move out, find a new or make family of your own, find Hobby. Don't be an asshole and be humble and be grateful your still here.

Im at an embarassing age that im ashamed to tell you but im a bit over 30. Excluding all the abuse growing up i had a lot of scary stuff happen in the marines, lots of cheating gfs; i remember one telling me she wish she was dead my fiance which was my first girlfriend. saw a lot of sick people in the world. people broke my shitzus jaw once and hes a quiet dog he doesnt bite or anything. Ive bounced around a lot got fired from jobs for being former military, animal control tried to take my dog of 10 years from me when i was living on the street. My parents actually persuaded me to come here and now i just feel trapped and alone with all the things that they say. I mean i let them use my truck to go everywhere cus they dont have a vehicle and i help with stuff. I thought about working at this weed store because the people there were all super chill and talked really nice . (The neighbor paid me 20bucks to watch her kid once) and my family told me gtfo if i tried. Theyve also opened my mail several times. They know i tried to see a doctor once. The doctor thing alone is kinda bad cus i have obamacare. It doesnt help. Id have to wait like.. 6 months to talk to someone and it doesnt even cover meds. I wouldnt be able to afford it or the copay if it was copay.

Yup im loser scum. I know i deserve to die. Im trying not to because my dog will miss me.

Can i get generics over the counter from walmart? I dont need a perscription?
I just wanna be normal again.

you've let the world win and you've accepted defeat shamefully. might as well just die to be honest

give the poor doggo to someone who isn't pathetic, who will give him a good home

Clarifying that my first gf died. my 3rd said it.

Ive been pretty optomistic up until recently. If you wana know how optimistic, my first memory of the united states is at 7. I moved to this new place and im playing on roller skates at the bottom of my driveway. 2 kids twice my age come up, hit me across the stomach with a pipe. I go down i cant breath. The big kid thats like idk 13 picks me up into the air like a pro wrestler and bodly slams me on my stomach. I cant move everythings blurry. I feel something hit my head and saw stars. It was a rock. I crawl all the way up my hill in roller blades. That stuff happened every day and i smiled it off.

Im just letting you know i tried.

7 stitches.

i dont even know how to respond anymore man.
you must have the most hatable face to ever be born into the world, or you just are so negative that the whole world's negativity is drawn to your negativity catalyst and unleashes it all on you
i don't even have any explanation at this point dude

Get your job at the weed store. Or anywhere. Find a roommate situation that isn't your shitty family and get out of there.

This may not be what you want to hear, but at 30, nobody is going to hold your hand. They stopped doing that a long time ago.

Your family thinks they can step all over you because you're under their roof, and they're partly right.

YOU are responsible for YOUR actions and situation, and YOU need to adjust yourself to make it better.

You've been dealt a shitty hand. A lot of people have been dealt shitty hands and still come out on top. Are you one of those people or are you going with the status quo?

I was in a shitty situation a while back. Not quite what you had, but I was facing depression constantly, I had a kid that I didn't want in the first place (he's definitely grown on me, and the kid, my wife, my new daughter, and I are in a way better place), I was making minimum wage which was shit for living wage in California. I worked at a crap job with a boss that had his head firmly up his ass. I could afford my rent, the bills, food for my family, and that was it.

What really started to make a difference was realizing self-improvement is literally the way to make myself better. Sound like an idiotic statement? It probably is, but there are way too many people who are comfortable in life, even in a shitty situation like yours, shitty job, stress about bills every week, overall they live a shit life. They just kind of take life laying down, rather than standing up and doing something about it.

I make about 3x minimum wage now, and I'm starting a small business on the side to exponentially grow my wealth and remove my dependence on working for someone else. I've been working to improve my situation with my family, nurturing relationships rather than disappearing into my office and playing vidya for all hours as escapism. I've been pursuing a few of my hobbies that I've been neglecting. That constant knot in my stomach isn't there anymore, and it feels great.

There are free/state-funded psychiatrists out there that you might be able to get a prescription through. If you think medicine will help, take that route.

Until then, I suggest you try making yourself better. Perhaps start with some self-affirmations that you create for yourself and read to yourself every morning. Think of the ideal person you want to be, then look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself "I am smart, hard-working, creative, blah blah blah" until it starts sinking in. You know how a lot of people say "fake confidence until you make it? It's the same with a lot of other emotions.

Depression is fucking hard to deal with. I've experienced it, I've seen others go through it, and even a few people who are stuck there and it doesn't seem like anything will help them.

This may not work for you, but I'm hoping you realize that you control your life.

I guess so. Probably why i used to get locked in the closet.

wall of text critical hit

>i caught a rat, killed it,
you're probably one of those cringe school shooter kids

If you're curious, some of the books that have helped me:
-Mindset: The New Psychology for Success
-168 Hours: You Have More Time that You Think
-The Road to Character
-Rich Dad, Poor Dad (and Cashflow Quadrant)
-The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt

I've listened to a few dozen other books. My goal for this year is 60 books by the end of the year (and so far I'm meeting this goal). If you want other suggestions let me know.

Sometimes you need a novel. Maybe I'll greentext the next one.
>get a job at weed store
>nobody will hold your hand
>family CAN step all over you
>get gud
>do it faggot

Stronglifts 5x5 and fast once a week. I work out on Monday and Friday, fast on Wednesday. It will make you feel much better.

Other than that, spend some time outside in the woods alone. Go on hikes (but always carry a pack, warm clothes, and a poncho in case the weather changes or you get lost).

It sounds like you're bored. Maybe get any old job just for the money when you feel a little better?

Let me know if you want to chat somewhere else.

Actually no. This house had rats all of a sudden. Its the mountains. It wasnt like this before. My family does way more cruel things when they catch one. They just seal it in a jar and let it suffocate. I wanted to just go a block down the street and release it but they kept getting mad saying it was gona come back into the house. It wss quick. I dont feel good about it at all. I was throwing up.

I know it sissy bitch shit but ever since the military i have problems killing things.

train doge to do the killing for you
>first, your parents

Do you have a kik

No, best platform for me is skype

Here, temp email. sivi @ xperiae5. com

Remove spaces, email me some platform to message you on.

You would know my email though. Um i googled this thing called e-chat and looks like how aol used to be. Can you access that?

Sure, give me link or whatever.

e-chat.co/room/201004
Um i hope this works. Im actually bad at the internet.

do gigs,uber, post mates whatever to get $ to get out of the shit environment it will just keep you in a downward spiral. even if you don't have a job leave when you wake up and only return to sleep minimize contact with assholes. go to the library or coffee place to use free wifi.

username?

Whats post mate? Someone told me about uber and it sounded great but you need to have a car over 2012 and it cant be a truck or anything and some other stuff. Ive thought about it. Theyll lease you one but thats kind of scary if something were to happen.

Imhappy