Sup Forumsros I'm constipated. Advice?

Sup Forumsros I'm constipated. Advice?

Inb4 shave your ass

stick your finger up your ass.

Noooo. It's poopy in there gross.

do what the accountants to when their calculator breaks: work it out with a pencil.

I've been in here for 30 minutes. I can't make it go in or come out, here's what I have access to.

wtf is that

My butthole with my issue stuck in it.

Man up and dig it out with your hand

wtf is wrong with your ass bro jesus christ it looks like a cyst that's popping

I don't know that's honestly the first time I've ever seen it. I'm a little concerned tbh.

Stop shooting smack, first of all. That would seriously help with your constipation issue.

stop taking opiods, they cause constipation and make your asshole disgusting like that

...

Constipation is the least of your worries, im seeing ass cancer, a fucking toilet that needs to be cleaned, and yes, shave your fucking ass.

eat shredded wheat n bran for 3 days

If you can get it that close to coming out scoop out the rest with a spoon or something.

Yeah it's opioid induced constipation. I appreciate your concern but I don't think I could tolerate this pain without some dope in me.

Do you really think I could have some sort of ass cancer? And I don't care to shave my ass tbh. This is the first time I've seen it and I don't think anyone, aside from people in this thread, will be seeing it.

Stop doing drugs faggot. also just fucking push that shit out of your asshole, its a muscle and its made to stretch, yes it'll bleed and yes it'll hurt but stop being a fucking pussy.

I hate shit and nasty assholes but something about that picture makes me just want to stick something in there and get it out.

fucking opiod crackhead
you been doin too much dope and not taking stool softners cause you are likely broke as fuck
this pic proves it

you should go to a community hospital and get a manual extraction, legit you have a medical condition called impaction, you literally can rip your butthole and never recover if you dont go to the hospital, this is from your addiction, not even trolling

let it rest. it will find a way out eventually.

If I had the right angle I would lol.

Oh trust me I'm pushing lmao. I'm finally crowning, I think it's gonna come out.

This user is def not trolling - either you work it out yourself, and you need to get it manually removed from nurses.

put a lighter to your asshole and melt it, and then it'll slide right out

You're so right. If only I could make it to the 20th when I get paid.

Get some tweezers and hope for the best dopehead. If it wont come out, just light up again, and you'll forget real quick

PUUUUUUSH!

I don't want to go to the hospital for poop. Do you know how embarrassing that would be?

it is one of THE MOST IMPORTANT MUSCLES IN YOUR BODY, and completely under appreciated, tearing that muscle means causes permanant damage, literally, you might lose control of your butthole forever. That means incontence, thats right nigger-- diapers for life. Never going on a date again, never going to a pool party, and unless she is into scat play, you aint never getting laid again

do not go digging in your butt! GO TO THE FUCKING ER, YOU ARE HAVING A REAL AND LEGIT MEDICAL EMERGENCY

Fecal impaction, google it, it happens to horses and shit. They can get the poop out of your ass without tearing your butthole, and since you are an opioid addict, they likely arent going to give you any pain meds, so you can enjoy getting probed by some underpaid nurse for at least an hour.

better than the alternative though

Try injecting the heroin directly into the shit that's stuck in your bunghole.

Despite what idiotic modern science might say, feces is sentient. So, if you do it correctly and inject enough, this will get the compacted turd really high. Then it will get so fucked up that it will release its death grip on your rectal walls and slide right out of your hairy, disgusting asshole.

Easy peezy! Give it a SHOT. :)

I only do them twice a day. My method is just not to waste my pills orally.

Not to suggest something dangerous but have you tried taking just a couple of laxatives possibly a home enima?

I know a dude who went to hospital for things in his ass way worse than poop.

If you can hold it in for a while and be patient, an enema may work. Also try some lube if applicable.

No I have not, this was a spur of the moment shit. I didn't think I'd be here for an hour.

Have one of these laying around?

Push

about as embarassing as being addicted to opiates

you obviously arent much of a thinker are u?

Didnt you know how sexy opiates are? You get to go get fingered now!

that is why most opiate heads end up turning fags and loving getting buttfucked, certainly makes for a nice revenue stream to go buy more dope with

Maybe an enima might be okay, itll wash it out instead of you have to push a huge terd out of your ass

Think of how embarrassing it would be to be rushed to the hospital for anal fissure because "was scared to go for poop problem"

Okay everyone. I think it's all out now. The first one in original pic got out of the way and the flow is going slowly but a lot better. I don't think there's any tearing, no sign of blood. But feels like I got a few more rocks to pass and I'll be good.

well there's your problem right there. heroin

I drink excessively and bleed regularly, what's that about? That bad? (out of my ass)

Holy shit Laughing so hard
This whole thread lmao

You're a disgusting pile of human waste.

That aside, drink as much pickle juice as you can. You'll shit your junkie brains out.

heroin addict. look at the cook kit.

heroin and other opioids make you not shit. OP needs to stop taking heroin and start drinking shittons of coffee and budweiser and taco bell.

Go see a doctor

You really have a problem with opiates. Was your dad a junkie who was never around or anything? I'm a functioning member of society, i have my own company, and have chronic pain. I just shoot my pain pills rather than take them orally. The bioavailability is 100% vs 30%.

This is correct.

this is one of the first pictures on the internet. true story. this one goes back to early 90's.

This

Trips รด truth. Get that shit checked. Ass bleeding isn't normal

You think your cool...Here's what I make weekly. Eat shit faggot

I appreciate all the help though guys, thanks for going through this with me. All you fuckers who think I'd put something in my body I got from some Mexican down the road can go fuck yourselves though.

Tulsa, OKC, or Phoenix. Hmmmmmm.....

get an oral syringe, a bottle of heated up mineral oil and inject that pucker hole, sit on a heating pad and pinch the booty hole shut till it squirms out.

lol that's cute. This is what I have left from my last paycheck. If you want to measure dicks we can, but you're going to be disappointed.

try this

Let the turd retract into your anus. Go to a pharmacy and buy some Dulcalax pills. Take two of them and drink 2 pints of water. Also buy some mineral oil and an anal applicator and squirt some up your sphincter for lube so you don't get a fissure. Try waiting a few hours before taking a shit if you can.

No problem bro.
Take care of that.

Sure post proof faggot anyone can talk shit.

Ayyyy

Thanks, I'll go to the doctor tomorrow and have it checked out. I'm sure it's just opiate induced constipation.

When it comes it will be like this.

/Thread/

see

This is as far back as my statement goes. I honestly don't care what you make or what you think. I just don't want you assuming I'm some broke ass food stamp welfare heroin junkie.

Dumbass follow these directions

I shall. Thanks again guys.

Take dulcolax enema and and manually put ur finger inside in circular motion and it should gradually come out in 30 min.

That's hilarious. Just cause your daddy transferred you that money does not mean you made it. What a faggot. Go back to your drugs

kek

kek

I just saw the constipated asshole of an opioid dependent.
Wow.
Either way, OP, I think you can push through with quitting. Several years ago, I weighed 240 lbs and was a fat barstad. There was this person who I was really excited about who was in the varsity track team. Well, I knew I had to shape up my act and stop being in the mindset of "I'm fat" and started being in the mindset of "I can be any damn thing I want to be", long story short, I moved up my position from dead last on the track team to the upper 70th percentile in a school of 4000 with a track team size of 200. My solution was to lose myself to an activity.
I spent hours every day biking to the gym and home in the morning, and again later at night. When I got home, I would relax or do woodworking.
What I'm trying to get across is, YOU CAN DO IT.

hey bud, I know how horrible that is. it's really the worst part of opis. now what you need to do-- and it's gonna be hard, but WORTH IT-- is not get high in the morning. let yourself start to get a little sick, and you'll poop. if you wait as long as you can, you'll completely empty your bowels. dopesickness doesn't take THAT long to set in. so just hold off and let it out. otherwise you'll get an impaction, and you'll HAVE to go to the hospital then, and it'll be so much more painful.

So where about in Douglas Wyoming do you live?

>take srynge
>fill it with water
>pump it in your pooper several times
>???
>profit

I don't live in Douglas Wyoming lol.

...

Stop eating rocks

Yes you do

Fuck you

How do you know?

You jealous faggot?

Awesome, what do you do bro?

Lmfao no.. I don't?

Dev Ops Engineer

Oh yeah check this bitch

Dude wtf I can't imagine stretching my asshole to the point where you can fit a fucking fire extinguisher.

>Ass bleeding isn't normal
It appears to be from hemorrhoids.

>milk
>oil
Pick one

How did you go from 4k to 1k

prune juice everynight

I lold

drink mineral oil
or put some in your ass to soften the stool
eat an orange
drink water
prune juice.
take a laxative.
it's probably stuck in your rectum like the photo..unless that is you

then you def need to soften it with some oil and sit with it in you and just wait like 40 minutes to an hour.

warmer oil the better

Eat Taco Bell

My steam account has 5000$ worth of games on it. Have a 1500$ gaming laptop I just bought, 70 inch curved flat screen I put 1500 down on and financed the rest. I don't manage my money well.

Drink like 3 quarts of water. No, not mt. dew, asshole. Eat 2 entire bags of marshmallows. Don't plan on doing anything tomorrow.

Yeah that's me. I'm off the toilet now. Thanks for the advice and company, other than the dickfucks that think I'm on heroin.