Ctrl+f

>ctrl+f
No feels thread.

I just need to vent.

My life is really fucked anymore and has gone completely off the fucking rails.
I don't even know how to start.
Its long as fuck, drawn out, and brutally ironic to the point where its not amusing anymore.
You feel like life is literally laughing at you and mocking you.

Shit has been like this for too long.
And it shows no signs of getting better.
I've done everything to make my situation better. And I'm doing much better then I ever have.
But material possession and trivial things dont make me happy.
It would have when I was younger.
But I still feel the same sad, beaten down, exploited, and betrayed. And thats because I have been.
There is one last thing I'm still holding onto.
Its one hell of a fight and its worth it.
I guess my last oorah.
I'm doing my very best. Fighting my heart out for it.
Because if this one thing works out I will be truly happy and restored.
If I loose well then I guess what I'm out.
I've been too sad for too long.
Ive been so bitter and spiteful for too long.
The chain of events that have been happening are volatile, unpredictable, and involve a lot more people then just me.
I can't just get up walk away for this and quit playing either. Because this means the world to me.
This is directly tied into my life.
So I believe its worth standing up ONE LAST TIME, for something that I actually trully love and care about.
I've been trying to think positive but its hard.
If things don't turn out in my favor. Well what little humanity and pride I have will be taken from me.
I will not go on like that anymore I have more self respect then that.
This is it make or break.

>Post a feel if you have one

Dam son from the gate

bump

chain bump

>1

*claps*

1

2

3

Well, I came home a few years ago. Thought life would be better, but she kept on going back. Could find a job for a while and fell into about $20k+ of debt. Didn't know what I wanted, but was intelligent and good with modern technology. Was the best in my field, and currently rank #3 in the state in my recent field.
Thought I would love college. I did at first, then my step father kicked me out for something that literally didn't involve me (his drug addicted son jumped my brother in the middle of downtown). I had to move to the shit end of the next town after 3 months of homelessness while struggling to continue my first semester.
I continued to drink away 2 more years of college, and barely grasping any of it due to my alcoholism, I recently graduated.
I have no idea where to go, but I now understand fully that the world against me. I don't even want to be a network engineer and have no idea where to start. I miss my old world and old friends. My life is a failure and all I can do is dwell in the past.
I have so many issues since childhood that are resurfacing I don't know if I need to address them or bypass them.
Sincerely, I wish it was as easy as pulling the trigger, but what would that make me to the little bit of family that still relies on me?
What do I so?
So i sit and drink.
Until I no longer feel.

bump

How bout some more fucking feels??
I didn't pour my heart out for some faggot to simply bump this shit.
I'm having a bad night, how about a proper fucking bump before your shit thread dies??

...

Can I fucking get there?
I totally relate.
Yes I drink a lot, yes I want my old life back.
But guess what it was all based on lies so there you go.
I suggest you cherish what little things you have left before they too are taken from you.

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I'm sorry dude... Like I said: bad place lately.. I understand. I wish your stuff works or as much as i wish mine does.. I guess I was just looking for validation.
Anything in particular making you drink tonight?

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Me to man I really hope so. Odds aren't in my favor but then again they never are.

>Anything in particular making you drink tonight?
Yea the fact that everything is so unsure at the moment.

Seems I can't even make friends, let alone amends, on a site full of rejects like myself.
All I wanted was acceptance. Lately I just want to get by. But acceptance makes worth while.
I have given up so many dreams just to be normal, and in silencing my inner self through alcoholism, I have destroyed my former self which I cherished so much. I would die to have myself back. And that is the thing that scares me.
I guess the thing I miss the most, getting older, is myself.

What exactly are you working towards? Sounds pretty big, and important to you.

gimme a min

It's a girl...Okay a girl.
She has no clue how much I STILL love her.
Has no clue that I'm STILL in love with her I just simply never stopped.
We hang out a lot. We hung out today. I'm seeing her tomorrow to help her get her new room sorted and organized because I convinced her to leave her abusive ex.
I ultimately just want to be with her again.
But im soo jaded and scarred that its really fucking hard for me to get true feelings out.

...

2\10

Hey, that's okay!
I'll tell you something that I told the woman I married almost 8 years ago, and live to this day:
If you want it, go for it.
You already got her away from her abusive ex. It's hard to say where to go from here, but just remember to keep going. I may bust my own shit up all the time, but I still persevere.
If this is something that your REALLY want, don't give up. Chase it. Not like "chasing tail". I get it. But don't forget about HER side of this. She's in a bad place, too. And remember, if you want to build a deep relationship with her, don't forget the little things.
Give it time before you spill your guts to her, since you feel jaded, and also the fact that she is jaded. This is really a touch and go game you have going on, so test the waters constantly, but never to far.
I know anons "never hab dem gerlprens", but seriously: good luck and god speed. You can this, bro. By God, trust me it is easier than getting a well paid electronics job. At least there is school for that shit.

Nice dick collection, btw

Its really fucking hard man because she can get any guy she wants.
There's definitely active competition though.
We talk about the past a lot. how great we were, how we were both our 1st actual love, how wed rather be in the relationship we were in a 1000 times again then be with the people we were with after that because of bullshit. Weve fucked sex is still amazing.
I just havent gotten around to how I really feel now.
Because its always just "in the moment" with her.
I can understand how skeptical she is because im skeptical as fuck too.

That feeling when you match with a 9/10 but you will never meet up because you have a small dick and 0 confidence anymore. I have had to go so much of my life not getting with girls out of fear that the girls will tell everyone about it. I have fucked 3 girls but all were high school virgins that didn't know better :(

How old are the two of you?

This is just on top of many of my other problems like drugs,depression,chrons,and plenty of other things wrong with my body physically.

12 and what is this?

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