A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan

A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan.

One of his courses had a professor that was an atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked everyone by walking into class, looking up and stating "God, if you are real, I want you to come down and knock me off this platform, I will give you 15 minutes.

Several minutes tick by in silence, when the 15 min. time almost expired the Marine gets up from his seat, approaches the professor and punched him in the face knocking him off the platform and out cold. The Marine simply went back to his seat.

The professor came to, visibly shaken and asked the Marine, “What the heck did you do that for?!”

The Marine said, “God was busy protecting America’s military who are out protecting your right to say stupid shit like that, so he sent me to fill in.”

God bless the USA.

I love fake shit like this

>A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan
meanwhile his wife is getting fucked by nigger.
burn in hell lol

...

And then the marine was arrested and layered court martialed for assault.

Anyone have the version were the chink blows the fuck out of the weeaboo professor? I remember someone on /his/ posted it once.

Brought to you by the Military Industrial Complex.

Boeing, Raytheon, McDonnell-Douglas, and General Dynamics thanks you for fighting for Israel and paying taxes.

THIS POST IS SO GAY. LIKE SUB REDDIT TIER GAY. LIKE LETS KNOCK DOWN THAT WALL TO OPEN UP THE ROOM GAY.

oh hello, I did not expect a diplomat.

A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, a known atheist.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the "poor" (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

I'm glad you found the email forwards my crazy redneck aunt would send to people in my family, user.

>mfw im okay with all this

TOPKEK

but inorganic matter cannot evolve into living matter tho.

Some body please post the startrek version
of this, it's hilarious

Handsone superman marine meme

Would like to point out that Pat Tillman was a US Army Ranger, not a marine.

We need better roach traps. This guy must have lost a few legs escaping.

...

the american dream

So fucking cringe.

This sounds funny. Gimme.

*Claps obnoxiously*

Based as fuck.

That marine's name?

Albert Einstein.

Then the Marine was arrested for assualt, kicked out of college, and given a mental eval, the end

Good goy

Is there a name without shitty connotations like Atheist for people who simply don't believe?

agnostic?

>America’s military who are out protecting your right

not israel

is this Finnish shit posting jew again?

Pat Tillman is what a real man looks like, you fucking numale queers

Thanks for the insight, professor.

A demonologist transcended mongolist professor and Geist activist was flying a plane, known CIA.

"Before the flight begins, you must get on your knees and worship the end of history and accept that Absolute Idealism is the most highly-evolved sophism to make us feel good about ourselves the continent has ever known, even greater than self-serving petit-bourgeois protestant theology right after I file this flight plan with the Agency!"

At this moment an uncaring if he was brave because being judged by illusionary social standards was of no importance to him, egoist, unique girl's school teacher who had smoked more than 15000 cigars in Hippel's winebar and understood the spookiness of all ideology and fully supported whatever he felt like stood up and held up "Der Einzige und sein Eigentum".

"You're a big guy."

The arrogant Bane smirked quite synthetically and smugly replied "Only in relation to you, I'm not big at all, decadent egoist, its the stern, reluctant working of reason towards the full realization of itself in perfect freedom which makes the fire rise!"

"It's been a few years or something (time is nothing to me) since I, Bane, created it. if it was not mine, and idealism, as you say, is not a spook...for if I pulled off the mask of reason and embraced insanity, you'd know that if I removed your mask it would be extremely painful."

The mercenaries applauded and all started milk shops that day and accepted their Self-Enjoyment as the end of philosophy. An eagle named "Union of Egoists" flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Stirner's Critics" and shed a beer on the hardcover. "Ich hab' Mein Sach' auf Nichts gestell" was said several times, and Renzo Novatore himself showed up and demonstrated how hand grenades are nothing but a means of killing police officers.

CIA lost his flight plan and the plane was crashed with no survivors that very day. He died of superstition and his flight plan was disregarded for all eternity.

He was truly blessed in the jaw department
I used to wrestle with my brother/friends and when I had them pinned I would dig my chin into my opponents ribs, Pat Tillman could kill a man like this.

>Ifunny
Fuck off fag

the pic of the guy you posted was an outspoken atheist. bait thread.

dog bless

Yeah, non-religious
Even more autistic than atheists because they're all philosophyfags who just took a course or read a book or two since anyone who actually studies philosophy knows Nihilism is the true path since it's as close as you can get to Diogenes

...

Diogenes was a Cynicist though

>God was busy

So...the marine in this story denied the omnipotence and omnipresence of God?

Isn't that some kind of heresy? Or blasphemy at the very least.

Why is Turkey still allowed in NATO?

Can we just kick them out and let the Russians do their thing already?

>America's military protects your right to free speech

>Punches him for using said right

You mean a Cynic? Take a trip across the border to Sweden and get raped by a pack of niggers.

God sent the marine you illiterate shit

What the fuck am I reading?

Well Europeans would love to do that. Unfortunately Murica does not.

He doesn't do that. The only intermediary between man and God must, can and shall only be Jesus Christ.

>what the heck did you do that for?
>you're a faggot

A white heteronormative cisgendered CEO professor and Baptist preacher was teaching a class on Karl Rove, known Christian.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Jesus Christ and accept that you too can become straight through daily prayer, self-flagellation, and eating Chik-Fil-A every day!"

At this moment, a brave, trans-Asian, self-diagnosed pansexual demiromantic vegan multisouled person who had been free of all animal products and only bought products at the local transgender co-op boldly stood up, holding a glass filled with some white liquid.

"Hey, Professor, what is this?"

The arrogant professor smirked like a rapist and smugly replied "It's clearly milk, you crazy faggot! What the fuck does milk have to do with political science?"

"Wrong. It's an all natural vegan soy almond kombucha latte. No animals or transpeople were harmed or raped in the making of this product."

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Wall Street Journal. He stormed out of the room, clearly planning some kind of rape. The professor realized that he had been playing into the hands of the kyriarchy of CEOs, investment bankers, the Religious Right, and psychiatrists. He then killed himself. The proper term for this is "trans-dead".

The students checked their privilege, all diagnosed themselves with autism and gender identity disorder and joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. An obese trans-eagle furry otherkin waddled into the room and tried to perch upon the American Flag, bending the flagpole in the process. All parties involved gave up meat, Christianity, and the right to bear arms.

The students all lifted their glasses of soy fluid in a toast.

"That beverage's name? Harvey "The One Percent" Milk." said the vegan trans-autistic Korean

...

based

If I had one nuke id drop it on Constantinople

He's right though, if you can afford a fridge you're not poor

If you don't support the US army you can fuck off, they're the only western country bombing the shit out of Afghanistan iraqistan islamistan every shithole Muslim turd world country.

A marxist post-structuralist continental Ecole Normale Supérieure professor and feminist activist was teaching a class on Martin Heidegger, known hermeneuticist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nietzsche and accept that his genealogical method was the most highly-evolved theory the continent has ever known, even greater than Hegel's dialectics!”

At this moment, a brave, rational, positivist analytic philosopher who had read more than 15000 pages of Popper and Wittgenstein and understood the raison d'être of empiricism and fully supported all modern hard sciences stood up and held up the constitution.

”How universal is this text, frenchfag?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It's not universal at all, fucking positivist, its 'truth' is rooted in our shared understandings about culture, the subject and the nexus of power and knowledge”

”Wrong. It’s been 225 years since human reason created it. If it was not universal, and post-modern relativism, as you say, is real… then it should be regarded as a myth now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting. He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it!

The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named “Formal logic” flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principa Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.

Lel

this is what true anal annihilation looks like

being so mad that you have a folder of gore and interracial at the ready

jihad tier

It's been three years since I last saw this pasta

>Implying God and the humans involved are separate from one another.
Are we all just ignoring the fact that God did knock him off his platform?

God bless

>Tyrone Jackson

good goy

I knew there was some snag every scientist systematically overlooked.

Lost at
>smirked quite Jewishly

Lel

Ayy lmao, i support those young white men and want them to come home and stop dying for Jewry.

God I'm lucky that I attended Pat Tillmam university. Fork 'em. PT-42.

the name of that marine? Albert Einstein.

A marine stopped in the hall of his college to pray when he overheard a libtard atheist professor ask a student "Did you get your Obamacare birth control yet?"

The Marine pulled out his gun and said "I'm pro life, take that back!"

The professor replied "Islam is the light." And started giving the student an abortion, the Marine ripped off his shirt and shot the professor 55 times, saving the precious baby who he named Freedom. A great big bald eagle flew in and landed atop a flagpole, with the USA flag wrapped around it, and saluted the Marine with his wing.

18 years later, the baby known as Freedom grew up to be a MARINE and saved America from Malia Obama's socialist terrorism group called "make more 9/11's!"

Semper Fi

kek nice