Am 25 Years

>Am 25 Years ,
>Got severe ADHD,
> Recently found out i'm probably also 'hypersensitive'
> Cause I've got Chronic Stomach Pains,
> All DAY EVERY DAY for over 2 years now!
> My General Practitioner said take 6 of these every day!
> Turned out to be 60 mg of Oxycodon
> Was already putting it up my nose before i knew that.
> Got Hooked.
> Didn\t An Hero cause i'm afraid.
> Got of of it, 5 months ago
> Still can't handle the pains and the neverending Tornado that goes through my head.
> I snort the Methylfenidate medication, or take Speed.
> Got Kicked out of the Clinic where i was staying.
> Staying at a friends house right now,
> took about 3 gr of Amphetamines.
> Am 3 days awake now and crashing hard.
> Flipping out,
> I have the tendency to lose grip of reality
> When i'm coming down,
> What should i do?
> Or Will i finally set myself free from this fucked up shell that i'm in

You should drink some fruit juice and push through the suffering till you can finally get some sleep then stop being such a massive fucking faggot cunt and sort your life out.
Stop being such a pussy

stay hydrated as fuck...and start going on walks bro. it will save your life. just walk around the block...seriously

I'm sure we can Google more problems for you. You might be a hypochondriac, that should get you all the drugs.

just a thought, you dont drink a lot of milk do you?
I was having terrible stomach pain that I thought was an ulcer but it turned out I was extremely lactose intolerant, turns out I've always been but I was too stupid to realise.

All four of my wisdom teeth became impacted about 25 years ago, but I couldn't afford to have them removed. As a result, they crushed my molars and I've spent the last 25 years with jagged, broken, rotting shards of teeth in my mouth which shred my tongue and cheeks and give me constant cycles of infection. The raw nerves are exposed and I'm in constant pain.

I've been diabetic for more than 20 years, and I now have chronic peripheral neuropathy. This means my hands and feet constantly feel like they're burning. If my blood sugar goes too high, I get what feels like electric shocks in my hands and feet too.

I've never beeded any kind of pain relief for any of this. The ability to live with pain is more about learning discipline and stoicism, and simply accepting that pain is part of life. You need to spend some time in quiet contemplation to find your spiritual balance, that place where you can step back from your own mind and observe your thoughts dispassionately. It's there were you can find the Will to confront the existential verities about life and death, and the reality that this world is a place of pain -- that pain is the rent we pay in order to exist.

holy fuck, do you shit broken glass too?

It's not about deliberately inflicting pain on oneself, it's about developing the dispassion to accept what pain is unavoidable. The Gautama Buddha said that a Buddha couldn't be harmed, and by that he didn't mean bullets bounce off a Buddha's chest like Superman, but that a Buddha recognizes pain as no better or worse than any other sensation. Pleasure and pain are simply electrical impulses in the brain. A stoic accepts that some pain is unavoidable, and that it's therefore pointless to spend time dwelling on it.

"All created things perish. All created things are grief and pain. All forms are unreal. One who knows and sees this becomes passive in pain; this is the way that leads to purity." -- Gautama Buddha

Are you serious? Uh yeah about a carton of milk every day which is 1,5 liters.i think.

You think that could have something to do with it? cause they ran me through every type of test you could think off, Shoving camera's down my throat, up my ass, did the echo location thing they do for pregnant women coulnd't find SHIT!

I meant it more as that is a lot of horrible things to happen to a single person.
I'm glad you have learned to handle all that pain though

You should kill yourself. You'll always be a junkie. You fucked up your brain's chemistry beyond the point of saving, and now you're essentially a danger to society and an embarrassment to your family.

This hits home a little too hard... I know this pain, and i do exactly the same.
Cheers mate.

Try avoiding dairy for a few days and see if the pain lessens, I remember a few times I had those shitty vodka mixed drinks that are super sweet, they use lactose to make them sweet and I felt like I was being slowly cut apart from the inside, probably the second worst pain I've been in, the worst was the migraine from wisdom teeth being impacted.

I can handle being lactose intolerant now because there are pills you can take before eating dairy to break down lactose in food, except chicken nuggets, I can't eat them without getting diarrhea if they have dairy in them.

So one day you just learned to accept it?
When i am having a somewhat good streak going with staying clean and keeping myself busy i notice that the pains get easier to deal with yeah, but the urge to get mentally in tune with myself for even only an hour or 2 is just to tempting for me,

I had a short period that i kinda overcame My ADHD that was when i did a 2 year stretch in a General Penitentiary for an Armed Robbery and didn't use anyhting there. but i think 2 months after my release i fucked up again. And now i got kicked out of yet another Clinic, Institution,

Lol how much of a fuck up can i really be!
No wonder my father left when i was 12 XD

Well, I guess I'm fortunate in the sense that my entire life has been largely unpleasant, so I've become very good at handling adversity. In addition to everything else, I have asthma, eczema, and am going slowly blind from a very rare form of glaucoma.

When I was 17, my parents threw me out in the street to, in my father's words, "root hog, or die." They told me they didn't like me as a person and didn't want to associate with me, that they had given me food and shelter for 16 years and considered both their legal and moral obligations satisfied. As a result I've spent my entire life in utter destitution, with occasional periods of homelessness. I was once homeless for an entire year. Currently I live in the basement of an old, abandoned factory with no fridge, stove, or shower. (See pic: the entrance to the room where I live.)

A life of pain and hardship is actually a blessing. It's made me strong, stoic, and resilient. I come on Sup Forums and read comments by middle class kids who have far more than I do and no health problems to speak of, and they're miserable where I'm able to find the small joys in an otherwise bleak existence.

Pain is a wonderful teacher if you have the patience and strength to listen to the lesson.

very similar, here.

OP, what you are describing sounds a lot like histadelia (could be hys, google it), when the histamine receptors basically flare up and you are allergic to frigging multiple things, and yes, as if senses have been stripped raw.

feverfew, is excellent.
do you live in the eu or uk?
asking, becausr spasticated eu regulations have banned it, for some convaluted bollocks, but really because they can't generate revenue from a naturally grown plant.

Don't blame yourself for your dick ass of a father abandoning you, no matter your shortcomings he was the piece of shit that ran away.

As a Dutch person i woulda never thought of this, cause lactoseintolerancy is pretty much non existent in our little country.

DUTCH I'M Dutch,

Yeah I felt really stupid when it dawned upon me, worst thing is I would skip breakfast in the mornings because I thought eating food that early is what made me sick.

God I feel so stupid sometimes.

The reason these drugs work is because they mimic chemicals already present in the brain. What this means is anything a drug can do, you can accomplish without the drug through meditation and biofeedback. Those serene monks you see sitting rock-still for hours at a time? They're ripped to the tits on their own brain chemistry, stoned out of their gourds.

The thing about being able to do it yourself without chemical intervention is that it costs nothing, has no nasty side effects, and you can stop the effect any time you feel like it, which means you can take a little trip while standing in line or waiting for the bus.

My suggestion to you is to find a meditation centre. Most large cities have at least one. There, a roshi (a teaching master) can teach you how to meditate and take control of your own brain chemistry. If money is a problem, most roshis will not turn you away for lack of funds and will accept a respect offering of something like a bowl of oranges instead.

likely cos you're lucky enough to have a system/gov't that is one of, to my mind, most logical and progressive in the world.
cafés where you can chill and smoke pure dagga instead of the polluted kak pedalled in the rest of the world.

Something to keep me focused on this thread,
while i'm trying to comprehend basic english grammar

What kind of physician prescribes narcotics for chronic stomach pain? There is always a cause for it and opioid will slow down the stomach increasing the pain. Blame your doctor.

You're a very strong person, a lot of kids don't face any adversity so they end up very soft, I feel I am one of those emotional marshmallows, Ive been depressed the majority of my life even though I have no real reason to feel despair.

Oh also how are you using the internet?

Their doctor probably have up after not being able to figure out what caused the pain.

and i'm still half asleep, despite it being 12.37.
am bipolar, so sometimes do not stop until i physically crash .
any way, so that is good , you can get feverfew.
it's good for a lot of stuff, such as headaches, when the veins constrict in the cranium causing pain, or in the case of histamine , feverfew is best if you have the herb before processing, so you can make a tea and drink it, but the capsules are very good, too.
you'll need to take them for a while ,3/4wks , to notice a difference.

immediate help , over-the-counter meds such ad phenergan (promthiazine), which also has mild anti-psychotic values which would calm the losing touch with reality thing.

have you ever had a psychotic episode?
sometimes i'm aware i'm about to have one , to lose the plot, a prodomal phase, and can stop it.

Ok ok, that makes sense to me even in my current state of being does it have a name? Like for example the Clinic i got kicked out of Tuesday followed an ideoligy called anthroposophy.

The cool thing is that all you need to do is make the existential decision that you want to be strong and... it just happens. There's no secret ritual, no special equipment, or hidden philosophy at work. You decide you want to be strong, and then you simply are. If you want to stop being soft, simply having that desire will cause it to happen -- as long as it's a strong and legitimate desire.

I have phone and Internet installed down here, but it wasn't easy. The poor technician who had to install it nearly pulled his hair out in frustration. There's over a hundred years of wiring in here because they never removed the old stuff, they just kept installing new wiring over the old wiring. There's everything from 19th century bakelite switches to fibre optics. After trying again and again to figure which if any wires were life, the tech simply said "fuck it" and cut into a 1970s-era wire, then spliced an outside line into it.

yeah , doctors are fucking cunts. not all, obvs, but many have a meglomaniacal attitude.
fields of medicine are one of the top 5 ranking jobs that attract narcissists / psychopaths.

iatrogenic illness is far more prevelant than it used to be.
> they don't even have to take the hippocratic oath any more.it's optional.

Different meditation centres follow different philosophies, traditions, and/or religions. The one where I lived, for example, was called Joyful Land. Most are some flavour of Buddhist, but a few are Hindu or Taoist.

Yeah losing grip on reality for me, is the first real consious thought of despair and knowing that within a couple of hours i'm gonna lose all control of my motor skills i'm losing that right now btw, and no cooperation between my mind and body anymore whatsoever makes me sometimes do some desperate shit

and forgot to ask, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst wr you are actually praying to pass out and/or die.
&
1 being very mild, how high would rate pain?

or does it fluctuate, like go up and down, daily?

I think I've grown complacent with my life, I don't have any bills to pay so doing small jobs like installing surveillance cameras for family and friends which would earn me enough money to buy small amounts of material goods since I rarely leave the house anymore too.

Ok, but uuh.. so it's true huh? it doesn't ever really get any less it's just how you learn to cope with it and what role you allow it to play in your life right..

Oh, I see what you mean. Yes. And that concept is usually referred to as "stoicism." It's a very old philosophy.

You're actually in a really good place right now. I live a life of voluntary simplicity. Everything I own can fit in a single backpack. I have my computer for entertainment, and when I need some time just for quiet and peace, I have a small collection of smoking pipes. I'll take one of my pipes and a pouch of tobacco, and go down to the river where I can smoke my pipe and watch the cargo ships churn by. Your current lifestyle will make it very easy to turn a source of misery into a source of peace for you if you can just make a few changes to the way you think about things.

It's like a 6, 5 during a 'normal' day meaning without substance abuse. having something to keep myself busy with and most important mentally having everything under control

The problem is my father keeps on doomsaying about when he's dead I'm fucked because I don't have any real source of income so if I end up alone I won't be able to afford any of the bills, which is true but doesn't help me worry any less about the future to the point of being frozen in terror

First off youre an idiot for putting anything up your nose.

Secondly
Look up ibogaine clinics.

I just learned about them (from mainstream news sources) and then researched them (from peer review journals).

I won't sugar coat it:

Theyre expensive as hell (i saw a figure for $8,000CAD, not too regulated, takes 3 days of your time, and you run a small (very small) chance of dying.

But if youre thinking of an heroing then what have you got to lose?

Its a treatment with medical grade ibogaine, a psychadelic. Your vitals will be monitored for 3 days (the length of time it lasts in your system). It severs all addictive processes in the brain.

When you are done you will no longer be addicted to drugs.

In extreme cases such as yours it seems like a good option if you can pony up the cash.

Then dont put things in your nose anymore.

Have you considered doing a spirit walk or going walkabout? Most world religions have a ritual of adulthood involving a period of travel. The idea is to simply start walking with no plan and allow the world to offer experiences to you. You open yourself spiritually and throw yourself into the current of the world, living without a plan or a safety net.

I did so when I was in my mid-20s and it was a life-changing experience. I was often cold and hungry and lonely, but it was the most intense spiritual experience of my life. Everything takes on sharper detail and brighter colour and deep significance. And it would help to alleviate your fears about being self-reliant. You'll see just what you're capable of.

I bought a tent and a sleeping bag and just started hitching wherever my thumb would take me. I travelled from coast to coast, met a lot of cruel and mean people, met a lot of generous and kind people, and had experienced which ranged from terrifying to transcendant. I highly recommend it to anyone. And after the first few times you've slept in a ditch or under a bridge or in a park, you lose any fear you once had about it.

stop taking so many fucking drugs dumbass

so 5/6, that is moderate to severe. have also been on oxynorm , prescribed for pain.
never gotten a buzz from them, think if one is actually in pain the only buzz, if you want yo call it that, is the relief from pain.
transtec patches (similar), also quite good.
stay well away from any! nsaids , aspirin, ibuprofen , ponstan, they make ulcers or anything gastrointestinal worse.


and yeah losing control is very scary.
that is referred to as a prodomal phase, before full on mania or psychosis comes on.

personally, i find the actual mania sometimes even like a high, although friends ask am i alright, most know me well enough to know when ah she's on a manic buzz. read back over txt messages or things i've written and thought what the bloody hell?!
it's the ground underneath one slowing sifting away and the mouth of insanity waiting, the free-fall through madness that is the most scary.
prodomal phases cause the most anxiety.
have you any medications, or know anyone who might have something like zyprexa, anti-psychotic? that sometimes can pause , or even reverse, a psychotic phase from coming on.
or a benzodiazepine, would definitely calm you at least.
if you went to your g.p would they give you something like that?

i wish you luck man. rehab sucks i know, but it'll help you a lot.

Yeah my g.p already put me on a ridicilous amount of xanax before the oxycodon came in,

But those and pretty much every other benzo i've taken don't really have any real effect when i would want one when i really need it. i only notice it's effects when i take some for the buzz..

One eveing when i was coming down hard again as i always do i was going through my entire house for something that could do something idk what i was really looking for and i found a whole 'strip' of Xanax pills the pink ones 12 of em. Took them all in one go.

Still took me 1,5 hours before i was asleep. (thaml god it was only 1,5 hours btw but still)

I've copied, pasted & saved your message.
So i can read it when i'm more in touch with reality
my brain can't compute anymore..

Have tried seeing a dietitian?

Im glad. Ill dumb it down for you because i understand how you're feeling.

Treatment exists. You can do it.

Google ibogaine clinics. Thats one option.

smoke some weed to get down

very v similar to my experiences!

also have a crazy tolerance for benzos, probably from medical practinoners ladelling them down my throat since i was 11, paediatric valium, suspension syrup, strawberry flavoured.
i hated it, would hold it in my mouth and spit it out.
i like benzos now, not for a buzz but because it is like i have 10 thoughts at once all the time , constantly like being on uppers or something, you know what i mean!

was on those pink xanax too, thing about xanax is they kick in faster and have a nicer feel to them, but valium has a longer half-life, stays in the system longer.

do you find writing helps at all? or any creative sort of outlet? you're good at describing stuff so writing would be good maybe, also, it helps to keep teack of things, even a basic chart, like rate the pain daily, and what meds you've taken, what you've eaten, how much sleep you've had, or for me , because i have PMDD, what time of the month it is, and other things like excersise, or vitamins.

they say people with over active histamine receptors benefit greatly from manuka honey, and propolis it's brilliant for the immune system so staves off colds, strenghtens you.

just seen that, that your brain is getting over wired , stimuli is overwhelming.
if you read this try and do basic things, sweet tea , cashew nuts have high amounts of magnesium which help mania.
the way this is coming on sounds more like bipolar, rather than adhd, course i'm not a psychiatrist but have known personally and from orhers, actual life experiences that adhd is more stable, a lot of fidgeting and inability to concentrate , whereas mania and related things is more of a surge of stuff.
drawing, writing, both very good.

and crystals, smoky quartz is excellent, citrine, for you i'm picking up that aventurine would be excellent for you.