>google translate since im lazy Sunniva (20) has a relationship out of the ordinary, she namely sex with a tree. Sunniva says that the tree named "Jarle" and she is in a sexual relationship. This summer she will marry.
I and "Jarle" have sex at least once a day, sometimes several times. Jarle has a branch sticking out, it is his penis and we always use a condom for that I will not get pregnant. I often get orgasm when "Jarle" take it into me. We can love for several hours, he is just amazing, says Sunniva.
Sunniva says she fell in love with the tree after her former boyfriend was a psychopath. Sunniva had gone out of the house after an argument and went up into the woods located a few meters from the house she lives in. She sat down by a tree and got a feeling that the tree listened to her. Sunniva has a fetish, called dendrophilia, which makes that one is sexually attracted to trees. In 2008 married a woman with the Eiffel Tower, the entire documentary can be seen on youtube.
Sunniva says she loves "Jarle," more than anything on earth, because he is never unfaithful, she can always count on him, he says no secrets on.
Sunniva and "Jarle" has been together for three months, and now she wants to get married this summer with the tree. How it should work legally, I wonder, but as long as we can have sex, I'm happy.
>mfw a tree gets more pussy than me >mfw Im virgin and 24
Brandon Peterson
Why a condom? The tree can't get her pregnant. I've always wondered why women put condoms on things like cucumbers, its not like they will end up with a 7 pound baby boy cucumber 9 months later.
Adam Morales
>bark if you want to marry a tree you are crazy enough to think it will get you pregnant.
So, the tree she is hugging has open space full of green behind it, the tree with condom on has nothing of the sort, we know that both pictures taken from the same perspective since the wood pekker pointing right and she is humping the right side. Both trees have bit different bark.
So, is it me or she is cucking Pinokio?
Joshua Fisher
the time will come my friend
Jeremiah Howard
> Be tree > Bitch sits in shade and cries. I got this. Bitches love shade. > Suddenly, a wild vagina appears > WTF IS THIS. Stahp, human. You are drunk. > Bitch comes back literally every day > "Get the fuck outta here, bitch. Get the fuck up off my branch" > Dumb fucking humans can't even into pheremones
Gabriel James
>not a mental disorder, a fetish
Robert Mitchell
Its "empowering" if it means proud womyn who needs no man get to do whatever the fuck she wants and dont want to hear a word of criticism.
If its man its fucking dirty perv and should be castrated and fined by greenpeace.
Adrian Mitchell
>her former boyfriend was a psychopath
Yeah I have a feeling he's not the one with mental problems
Ian Roberts
>>Im virgin and 24 nothing wrong with that and here are the reasons: >don't fuck whores >don't stick it into crazy >95% of all women are crazy
not your fault at all
Angel Martin
>tfw someone cuts it down and sends the "penis" to her mail box
Logan Campbell
>former boyfriend was a psychopath Yeah, I bet it was the guy that had the problem.
Austin Lopez
One of the worst green stories i ever had the misfortune to read.
I want 2 minutes of my life back.
Also go back to plebbit fagg
Christian Barnes
...
Jace Bennett
How can mammals even complete?
Trees stay hard 24/7
Grayson Reed
Trees get more pussy than me feels bad
Lincoln Barnes
Some bitch got married to the Eiffel Tower Some fuckers have sex wih their car It's a weird world
Benjamin Lopez
that video is fucking hilarious >sexual encounter with the church banister
Kayden Parker
How on earth has she avoided splinters
Jace Lopez
>2 minutes
Are you dyslexic?
Gavin Hall
I'd like to chop that tree down.
Nathan Myers
See this is why Hitler should have won, fuck everyone.
Gavin Green
>her former boyfriend was a psychopath.
pot and the kettle...
Nolan Scott
read + type out response faggot
Logan James
Don't chop the whole tree down, just that one branch. Watch her despair.
Cameron Miller
Even IF you wasted 2 minutes of your life, you browse Sup Forums. Your time is literally worthless anyways if you have nothing better to do than be here.
Hunter Ramirez
>white women would rather fuck a tree than white men. priceless
Joseph Long
get your gf to fuck herself with the tree in front of the tree loving cunt and watch her chopping down the tree shortly after
Lincoln Johnson
I want to cut it down make a bat out of its branches and beat her to death with it
White women shouldn't have rights
Chase Johnson
Someone should just chop the fucking tree down, end of story.
Wyatt Brown
Imagine taking a peaceful walk in the woods and then you here a moaning noise so you decide to follow it what you see will change you forever a girl getting pounded by a tree this is now my fetish
Liam Scott
This is exactly what I needed to read on a saturday night.
Oliver Rivera
I will hollow out the tree cut of jarles dick replace it with my own ,painted brown , was it rape?
Luke Turner
>37 posts >no one has made a wood joke
Evan Davis
it's a "stick"y situation...
Brandon Powell
Never stick your twig in crazy
Dominic Mitchell
lubrication and smoothing the surface, dipshit
it hurts when my bark peels off inside her vagina from the friction and moisture
Jack Thompson
Umh... Er... Well that makes me rock hard!
SHIT!!!
Josiah Wilson
guys just yesterday a couple of twigs and leaves fell out of my gf’s underpants. i didn’t think anything of it until now. should I be worried? she said she always wanted to be an arborist but it never seemed like anything other than a healthy fascination with nature.
Connor Anderson
Is that whole blog a satire or is it really run by the Norwegian equivalent of chavs?
Jack Taylor
You're getting cucked by a tree. Your girlfriend was...
BARKED
Blake Nelson
>be norwegian >get cucked by a fucking tree How does it feel like to know that the average norwegian will look like this in 2050?
Benjamin King
this whole fucking thread....
Adrian Campbell
>because he is never unfaithful Someone go fuck that tree and leave a pic of it on the tree for her to find.
Bonus points if someone drills a hole in it and fucks it so she knows the tree is a faggot.
Isaac Rogers
HAHAHAHA
John Davis
i lost mine at 20, had fun with that chick for maybe 2 years. havent fucked anything in the last 5 / since
