ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
Other urls found in this thread:
you have to fuck someone or something to be alpha user
This.
Did you at least fuck the cat?
yeah well fuck you
Obvious b8. Can you try a little harder OP?
Guaranteed replies.
>>be stroking neighbor's cat
>>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>>kick the little fucker
>>run inside
Nothing "alpha" about this, little boy. Have you seen nood boobeees yet, aside from moms?
He sucks his dad's dick.
and you know that how ?
lol betas get mad
This. 0/10 I award OP no points for this clearly tarded story.
>and you know that how ?
Because this reads like something a faggy version of Barry Goldberg would do.
m 25 here, I was never alpha as fuck :(
>16 years ago
>be 17
>be drifter
>quit job as apprentice mechanic
>throw wrench at boss
>fuck you, man
>walk to highway, hitch hike to different province
>fresh start
>get shitty job at grocery store
>first day of new job
>go on break at coffee shop across street
>talk to random guy
>owns construction company
>sees something in me
>first day, eh?
>fuck that, come work for me
'
43 yo virgin, here.
me so Alpha, haha
>quit shitty grocery job
>go to work for random guy next day
>likes me
>lots of pay raises
>invites me to house one night
>small party
>know nobody
>his wife keeps looking at me
>go out back for smoke
>she follows me
>flirting
>start feeling her up
>fuck her behind shed
>keep getting raises
>keep fucking her
>knock her up
>boss finds out
>quit, walk to highway
>fuck you
>meet this girl
>totally into her
>look at my Birkenstocks and socks the entire time
>fuckin fapped the shit outta my dick later
>runs away from everything like a coward faggot
>alpha
Plenty more story after that, user.
I'm now self employed, own an ocean front house, am rich, and have an awesome son and do whatever the fuck I want.
right, and Im santa claus and your faggot son dreams about my sack every night
Dubs nevrar lie.
>Outside all night diner smoking a cig after getting a bunch of nuggers
>It's dark and pouring rain
>A woman walks up to me from the distance out of the rain.
>She was a pretty plain looking fat blonde, and it was obvious she had been crying and was desperate and lost.
>Through sobs and broken words she asks me where "whatever the fuck street is", and goes on to tell me that it's her birthday and her friends kicked her out of the car.
>I immediately yell back very aggressively "MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO INSIDE AND ASK THE WAITRESS OR SOMETHING"
>She ran off sobbing even harder
>I just yelled at a sobbing desperate woman pretty harshly.
>fuck yeah
>Alpha af = me
>7th grade
>Sitting in English class
>Some presentation going on, wasn't paying attention
>Remembering family Guy episode from last night
>Gonna gonna gonna gonna buy me a rainbow www
>Part war through the song, realize my friend started singing it
>Realize I was singing it the whole time, and he joined in
>Finish off strong together
>Even the teacher laughed a little
I own a camera lens that cost more than your car, and a boat that cost more than your house.
> hurting an inferior animal
> I'm alpha guys! HURR DURR
> switches tabs ans jerks it to furry destruction porn
joke is on you faggot, I dont have a house nor a car
idiot
>when your life is so good nobody believes it
Feels good, man.
>run inside
not alpha at all
Ehs a pretty cool guy, he fucks his boss's wife and doesn't afraid of anything.
>run inside after kicking a small animal so hard you killed it.
You are a pussy m8.
Please leave the alpha behavior to men that know what it means.
Meh.
Probably your most alpha thing you ever did if that is what you chose to post.
You are probably such a hesher.
Christmas 2001. Get hammered on xmas eve at friend's house, presents are being spied upon under tree. Everyone gets to open one, best friend picks mine to open. Brand new Playstation 2 with GTA 3. His sister ginds my present to her, boom, same thing. I got everybody PS2and GTA3. we have every tv in the house hooked up and we spend all night killing hookers and shit. The best friend's sister drags me up to a bedroom and rapes my ass, with a few salty comments from the peanut gallery to egg us on. All those people still remember that xmas.
My transformation.
> Grill has a giant crush on me.
>turns autistic when were in the same room
>im working and she spots my big ween
>gets one of her hench men to bother me.
>was gonna withdraw money to buy clothing
>have this long winded argument about muh feelings and I tell it how it is.
>hench guy won't get it through his head that its not a problem.
>cavemandnaactivate.jpeg
>I start to yell a bit about how annoyed I am.
>shutsthefuckup.png
>I open the door
>its really sunny out
>I get on the floor.
>Everybody does the dinosaur.
>Getting your ass raped
>alpha
>butterface acquaintance
>comes over to smoke
>sucks my dick for literally 2 hours
>repeat for a few weeks
>start fucking her regularly
>buys me weed and food for 3 months unsolicited
>blows me every time i see her
>i let her stay for one weekend before she has to move back home
>tries to get me to let her live with me
>haha what bitch i don't know you like that
>lets me fuck her face like in porn
>some dumbass comes to pick her up while my dick in still in her throat
>he waits outside for over an hour
>he's marrying her now kekekekke
Buck angel.
Stale
...
Not bad.
First somewhat alpha thing in the thread if it's true
>if
Is actually true... I grew up.
>When your life is so shit you either have to lie about it or insecurely seek validation from other losers on a Japanese image board
>give me your phone
>she gives me her phone
>put my number in the phone
>hand back phone
>i put my number in there, text me later
>when you're so jealous of an anonymous person on an italian sand painting board you greentext your butthurt
aaaaahhhh
fucking gold
M8 I'm 22 and got a job that pays 90k a year and I have no shitty kid to waste money on
>90k
AAAAAAHAHAHAHA! You poor fuck!
to be fair i didn't know i was being some dude's chad at the time so it might not count. i'm not overly alpha for the most part
You fucking disgrace
Hotel Dusk
you got it wrong. You don't adapt the song. you state it how it is
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody WALK the dinosaur
fucking idiot
...
especially if it's 90k pesos or yen
You're both idiots
You're poorer than either of them.
On my phone, so fuck green texting.
Only fight I've gotten into. At a bar with some co-workers, and I'm the DD. 5'6" king of the manlets is bugging the fuck out of one of the girls. I try to be nice, buy the dude beer and ask him just to chill out. Apparently Mr. Badass was a high school wrestler, takes his shirt off and "it's fucking go time bro!" Dingleshit charges that me and goes down for, what I can only assume was, a double-leg takedown. Timed it just right and I one shotted the dude unconscious with a knee to the forehead. Got road head on the way home.
Pretty good night.
This
>shouted at someone for no reason
>alpha
The only alpha thing you did is get tendies without your GBPs
>be me
>fuk ur mom every night
> ur dad watches
< u watch
> alfalfa
Kicking cat is beta
Kicking cat rhen fucking owner after telling you kick cat is alpha
Bedtime for you tough guy
...
>be me
>be 35
>got side chick cuz I like cheating on my wife
>see cuckold pr0n
>diaminds
>curious.gif
>know wife won't do it cuz she is pure and holy and stuff
>side chick is slut
>talk side chick into sucking and fucking dudes and send me videos
>pretty hot but I'm totally not a cuck
>she finds 19yr old with huge dick
>he fucks her mouth hard
>shoves her mouth down and trains her to deep throat
>she chokes on his dick
>"I can't, I gag"
>kid don't give a fuck, keeps choking her
>she turns off video
>they fuck
>he fucks her so hard she forgets to record fucking (she told me later)
>she records again
>she is taking his cock deep with no gagging
>he cums in her throat
>she sends vids and tells me all about it
>she says in video "I'm gonna be a slut for you tonight" to 19yr kid
>cum buckets, but totally not a cuck
>itsjustanexperiment.pptx
>still cum buckets to kid man handling my side chick
>alpha as fuck tho
>be bouncer at a nightclub
>was late for work boss decides to be a dick and put me outside watching the parking lot (because no tips)
>hanging with other bouncer bro and valets smoking and fucking off
>drunk guy wanders in from a bar bar down the road tries to bum a smoke
>we all know if we give him one he'll just hang around, so tell him to go away
>"man fuck you guys i gotta take a piss"
> drunk tries to walk into parking lot, gets shoved back and told to fuck off
>"they just cars man fuck you lemme take a piss"
>shoved back again and told to fuck off
>grabs me and tries to take a swing but misses
>throw all of my weight into him and knee him in the groin
>am 6'5 257lbs
>drunk is suddenly sober and screaming
>"you popped it, you fucking popped it"
>cops come, emt's show up, i get cuffed but let go after they see the security footage
>drunk taken to hospital, suffers 2 ruptured testicles
>cops show up from time to time to chill and know me as the guy who popped a drunks balls
>ALPHA AS FUCK
That might be true. I have a house, a car and a wonderful wife. I work for myself doing something I like. I consider myself fortunate. I'm not in a pissing competition with some unknown idiot though.
Ok Faggots alpha as fuck...Hmm
>Be me
>Drinking beer
>drunk as fuck
>OH NO!
>Out of beer, need more
>Cant drive, wife is asleep
>politely ask her to go to the store to get beer
>says no
>I will not stand for this shit!
>Pull out cock and start pissing on her
>She gets up and goes and gets my fuckin beer!
>TFW still married.
faggot
kekerooni
>be me yesterday.
>Going for a cig between classes at uni
>See Random faggot push a girl with his shoulder to Enter as im leaving they building
>Put my leg on his way
>He falls
>Yells wtf man
>laugh, girl also laugh
Invite her coffee and got her number.
You're a faggot and deserve to be kicked in the head.
some of these are so fucking cringey that i actually lept forward in time from the wrinkles my puckered you-fucking-manlet face was giving me
LOL GOOD ONE BRO. DIDNT FUCKING HAPPEN.
>starts alpha stories thread
>tells story about being a general asshole, damaging others property and being a smartass about it
>thinks that makes him alpha
oh jesus, you better go back smoking some dick in your basement.
>be at bar getting fucked up with friend
>i can see peripherally hot bar tendress is giving me the eye
>down the hatch with another frosty ass budlight
>turn towards her
>"don't look at me lol"
>except I don't actually lol
>she gets mad
>"this is my bar I can look at whoever I want wah wah wah..."
>she got made as he'll
>goddamn IRL alpha troll ftw top kek
This is the story of how I met my wife.
>Work with wife. 12 hour shifts. Both new to the job.
>Guy I know asks her for her number. Hes a fucking old ass 60lbs man.
>Tell her, "Hey, dont leave me out on this."
>Wait a couple days, then start texting her.
>After about a day of texting I ask her, "Can I be honest with you?"
>"Yes."
>"I want to fuck your face."
>"Ok, when."
And now five years later we're married.
>be me
>go to bar with mom and her nigger boyfriend
>they both kick my ass at pool
>cute grill watches every game
>me being drunk and naturally oblivious and skeptical for ulterior motives
> nigger stepdad says she looks like she wants to play me next
>I say loud enough for her to hear "I bet she just wants to pull my skin back !"
>nobody can ever top this alphaness
>go home and pull my own skin back without assistance
>a girl talked to me without me forcing her to.
>be me
>19
>have a friend group still together from high school
>one is carpenter at construction site
>has qt3.14 gf
>they always fight
>relationship destined to fail
>me and buddy's gf get along
>always complains about him
>eventually they break up
>I am her shoulder to cry on
>she gets drunk trying to drink away the emotional pain
>We make out
>have sex
>a few days later hanging out with friends
>buddy tells me he will make it right with his ex
>ohshit.jpg
>he finds out I fucked get a week after they broke up
>he starts punching the shit out of me
>We fight about 30 seconds before other friends rip us off each other
>long time friends don't talk to me anymore
>qt3.14 gf and I are at least a thing still
>I am alpha
FUCK YEAH BRO!!! THATS SO FUCKING ALPHA!!!! I FUCKING HATE CATS!!! FUCK MY NEIGHBOR HEH HEH FUCK YEAAAHHH!!!! FLAWLESS VICTORY HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAH SOOO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!!
You had to scavenge off a friend for sex, and got the shit punched out from underneath you. Not alpha.
That aint alpha thats low end beta almost delta
...
Isn't that the point of these threads? To post nonalpha shit?
You're ruining the magic with your autism faggot
I don't know how to green text but we were playing basketball during lunch my freshman year of high school, 5v5s with teams up next, and a senior who played starting Saftey for the football team decides to take the ball while him and another player, I think he was part of the secondary too, idk which specific position, shoot around. They made sure to either get the rebound or borderline gang rape whoever did to get it back.
I have literally no patience so the next time he went to shoot, while he was in the air, I bear hugged his torso and threw him on the ground as hard as I could. Think like full on Kevin Owens pop up power bomb. He ended up getting up immediately and wanting to fight but I ignored him and he started crying and eventually leaving the gym. I thought it was because he was upset I ignored him, turns out he came to school the next day and I had fractured multiple ribs from throwing him on the hardwood floor. He missed that whole football season for being an asshole.
>Be me
>Try to do well in school
>Get job after school
>Make friends
>Date Women
>Go to College
>Date Women
>Get degree
>Get job
>Find good a good honorable decent woman
>Get Married
>Buy House
>Have kids
>Raise good decent kids
That my children is Alpha as Fuck
youtube.com
It's now a cringe thread
>be me
>fuck bitch
>fuck dog
>fuck cat
>kill bitch
>kill cat
>kill dog
>buy dog
>keep dog
>dog barks
>dont care
>love dog
>fuck mom
>fuck dad
>kill cat
>fuck gf
>have bbs
>cute bbs
>fuck horse
>fuck obama
>impregnate obama
>child is white
am i alpha?
Paramedic instructor at a community college in the south. Student couldn't even get close to passing cardiac emergencies. This was her second attempt to take this class. Early in the quarter she starts this flirting bullshit. Always fucking with me. One night she has her tongue down my throat and lets me fuck her. All semester I'm fucking her forty ways from sunday but I can tell she is using me. I even tried to give her extra instruction and the stupid bitch just cant read strips. Finals day she turns in her exam with a wink. When I posted the grades that night the bitch ran out to the parking lot crying. She through a rock at my car then left campus. Never saw her again. Bitch had her little fucking plan to fuck her way past my class. Integrity matters.
Until you find out she ain't so honorable, half the kids aren't yours, and she's going to take the house away with a divorce. I guess you still have a piece of paper that certifies you did what any other moron with time and money can do.
Part of being Alpha is choosing wisely. Fix your mistakes and move on.
Are you aware of divorce rates? Do you really think it wise to bring up a family in these fucked times? You're an idiot just like everybody else.
i once got a large fries but only payed the price for small
>be me
>be 5'8", 130 lbs mongoloid manlet
>be 17 in HS
>there was a project in spanish class where you had to design and describe an invention, but didn't have to make it.
>fuck that, I'm making this shit.
>create app that can use your phone to open electronic RFID locks.
>going to show everyone in class how to download and use the app, but don't know enough spanish to give instructions how to download and install.
>give instructions in english instead.
>giant football linebacker asshole in the class immediately says "why don't you speak in spanish?"
>mfw this faggot is serious
>must do something to put him in his place
>"why don't I kick your ass?"
>whole class gasps
>you can hear the panties dropping on the floor
>teacher does nothing because how alpha I am
>realize what I got myself into
>this dude was 6'6" and 260 lbs.
>I am going to get my ass handed to me.
>counting down the seconds until class is done
>bell rings, immediately speedwalk to the door.
>footballfag tails me
>ohshit.jpg
>about twenty feet away from the classroom when I feel a big hand on my shoulder
>without even thinking, I turn around and uppercut him between the jaw and his adam's apple
>immediately gets knocked out
>sprint to the next class before footballfag wakes up
Never have I ran faster in my life.
what happened next
Wtf happened to Sup Forums?
Footballfag realizes what happened to him. If he told anyone, he would get shit on because he got knocked out by someone half his size. He tried to track me down and beat me up, but I knew what he was going to do and when. I brought a knife and kept it in my pocket in case things went south. I never had to pull the knife out. This happened towards the end of the year, and I did PSEO for my senior year, so I never got to see footballfag again.