Why bother having this in Hogwarts at all?

Why bother having this in Hogwarts at all?

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>Gryffindor
>House for all the mary sues

>Hufflepuff
>House for retards and special needs children

>Ravenclaw
>House for intellectuals and snobs

>Slytherin
>House for nazis, racists and murderers

One of these is not like the other

Rowling needed a house to represent white male supremacy.

It's like Sup Forums, it's a containment chamber for retards

that's hufflepuff

>That feel when you get into Ravenclaw in pottermore

Feels good being best house

>Feels good being best house
Sure, if you like watching your girlfriend take the BGC

>Implying Ravenclaw girls aren't pure maidens

to bring balance to the force.

>The look in her eyes

You just KNOW.

fack off cunt

>gather all the undesirables in one place
>make them wear identifying badges so people can avoid them

Really makes you think.

I wonder what were mages doing during that, surely there must be some jewish wizards.

>tfw Slytherin
What did Pottermore mean by this?

I think Grindelwald was making his new Wizard World Order during WW2.

You know that saying "Washington DC is Hollywood for ugly people?"
Ravenclaw people have to be smart but they also have to be beautiful.
Unattractive smart people become INTJ master race and into Slytherin they go.

>Slytherin is for unnatractive people

My claim was that smart, unattractive people won't get sorted into Ravenclaw.

She could be dumb or simply a massive cunt.

Slytherin won six House Cups in a row when Dumbledore was headmaster and before Harry

HOWEVER

Honestly, why the fuck do they even segregate students by personality in the first place?
In real life, students of the same age are seperated either at random, alphabetical order, or by level.
All the house system does is cause division.and conflict. It discourages students from hanging out with those from other houses.

they wouldn't hang with them in the first place anyway

How often do Crips and Bloods or Hells Angels and Bandidos hang out irl?

Blame the old white founders.
Shits fine you triggered nigger

It's a shame she got BLACKED literally

yeah man, fight the power! By any means necessary!

you cocksucking faggot

>Blame the old white founders.
You mean the founders that couldn't agree on who they should accept into the school, so they created houses where they could put in only students they found acceptable (while Hufflepuff took the rest)?
Why should the dumb petty arguments from wizards 1000 years ago be continued? Everyone agrees that Slytherin's "pure-bloods only" was very racist (also, the Basilisk), so why should Slytherin even exist? Why didn't Gryffindor burn down the whole dungeon as soon as that whiny bitch Salazar left?

>Everyone agrees that Slytherin's "pure-bloods only" was very racist (also, the Basilisk), so why should Slytherin even exist?
It's almost as if JK Rowling's world doesn't actually make any sense and the books are for children.

Why did she force political bullshit into the new thing, if it's for kids

>Group identities are bad

((()))

"Racists are bad" is a universal message that children are exposed to in media all the time. Not very political or controversial since only Sup Forumstards disagree.

Jesus, this

because she's a hack

Nigger its always meant as a slight to british politics and society its called self deprecation.

Shit gets orwellian because britain is an orwellian nightmare and rowling needed to cope.

Its Brazilian. Rowling even wantrd Terry Gilliam to direct its batshit

Wizard community are like white liberals. They signal against Salazar's views but at the same time they have seen muggles become increasingly dislike them.
Normie wizards are completely baffled by muggle ways and even where someone likes muggles he is considered a nut and seems to have financially suffered because of that.
If they liked mixing with impure people they would have a much greater understanding of muggles.

It's so we could get the 1-in-10,000 supergenius like Snape.

>Character that has always been portrayed as white, even on the covers of the official releases of the books
>LOLNO NOW SHES BLACK BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BE INCLUSIVE

>why do liberals include indoctrinating political bullshit in media designed for impressionable children

N-no reason.

Group identities are good when you decide what group you want to be in yourself and when you have the ability to leave a group when you don' feel like you belong anymore. You're forced to join a House that you'll be in for 7 years at age 11. If you get put into Slytherin only to find out it's a house full of racists and assholes, you're stuck there and can't ever leave.
You're a different person when you're 11 then when you're 15.

See
Its a wizard dystopia which is why as the characters grow up the corrupt shit of the real world is the same as in the wizarding world

The hat knows better than you.

Just because I think racism is bad (like most people) doesn't mean I think SJWs and blatant pandering are good.

Snape was good sorta and yet he was Slytherin. What's up with that?

The hat wanted to put Potter in Slytherin.

He was on the good guy's side, but he was still an asshole.

The writing is dreadful; the books are terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Why waste time over-analyzing Arthur-tier children's books?

Calm your tits have you seen Brazil? Rowling wanted Gilliam to direct the first

Do you realize the ministry of magic is corrupt and inept before voldemort even shows up.

Does this mean Harry asshole?

You'll always find quirks like that for most contemporary authors.

If you read GRRM's shit, you'll notice that food is described more in detail than the actual characters

>The hat wanted to put Potter in Slytherin
And maybe he was right. Who the fuck knows how Potter would have turned out without his friends, Ron and Hermione. What if he ended up being Draco's friend?

>If you read GRRM's shit, you'll notice that food is described more in detail than the actual characters
As if GoT fags will ever admit their flaws.

Gatsby is ass. Otherwise, fairly accurate

Wasn't he bro-ing it up with Malfoy for a bit in the first book

Slytherin
Pukwudgie
Pear wood with a Unicorn hair core 10 ¾" and Slightly Yielding flexibility

Draco would never have become Harry's friend. His father was a Death Eater and wouldn't approve of him paling around with the Boy who lived.

Can't remember all my details, it's been ages.

Entire thing is ass you pasta replying faggot

I think he was bamboozling him

>the hat was reading the piece of Voldy's soul in inside Harry and thinking this guy belongs in Slytherin

p o e t r y

>that list
This is some prime funposting, this is.

You're a dumb fuck the hat lets you decide. Same happens with Hermione

So all the Slytherin kids decided that they'd like to be assholes despised by the rest of society
Talk about ruining your life at an early age

The hat is a piece of shit. Also didn't it get forgotten in the Basilisk's lair?

>he thinks Atlas shrugged is a literary masterpiece

It was around after that, it sang at the start of every school year, though because Rowling was too lazy to come up with a new song for every year she came up with excuses for Harry to miss the sorting until the stuff the hat sang became relevant to the plot.

This.

School enforced cliques is a terrible idea.

But shit like this appeals to teenagers who really enjoy 2D characters that don't take too much thought (see: Divergent with factions and Hunger Games with districts) so I can't really blame JK Rowling.

read that pic in his voice

>though because Rowling was too lazy to come up with a new song for every year she came up with excuses for Harry to miss the sorting until the stuff the hat sang became relevant to the plot.
Well shit

>I'm sorry you're retarded, user

eric, simply eric xD

This book was written by a desperate lower-class borderline suicidal struggling mother in order to maintain her sanity. What in the name of FUCK do you expect guys? This is NOT first class literature. It's a book for children. CHRIST.

Underage detected.

Slytherin was a good thing to have on your resume. Especially since their pureblood resumes were also good

Stop being a nigger thinking they are shunned

Fuck off Snape you got only hired because you wanted to fuck Lily

Regardless of your views on objectivism, Atlas Shrugged is objectively not a good piece of literature.

Rowling goes out of her way to point out she didn't conceive of Slytherin being the evil arsehole house. It's just sort of how she ended up writing it.

She adds Slughorn in specifically to be a non-arsehole Slytherin and she spells out that Harry's dad was actually a bullying Chad.

What was the point of the stupid hat anyway? Kids could just suggest which freaking group they wanted to it, so its very presence is unneeded. Hermione (Ravenclaw), Ron/Neville (Hufflepuff) and Harry (Slytherin) proved that much.

Who is Harrys first friend? Hagrid


Hagrid is a Gryffindor. Its only natural Harry is sorted into Gryffindor

>tried Pottermore sorting because of this thread
>get Gryffindor

at least it wasn't hufflepuff

>who is Harrys first friend?
It's arguably the snake at the zoo

Hermione researches before and wants to be in gryffindor because she thought it was the best house. For reasons which mean she identified with the house. She ends up being a true gryffindor and breaks a shitton of rules for the better. Yes she's smart but that doesn't mean she's automatically in ravenclaw. She cares about her studies and not failing but being nuggle born she has an inherent desire to not fail being a witch and therefore not fail hogwarts and the practice. Albus was the greatest wizard and a gryffindor. Mcgonagall is smart too gryffindor aren't idiots

There's literally nothing wrong with Hufflepuff

Cedric was only put in Hufflepuff to make them just a tiny bit relevant

>implying not all jews are warlocks

youtube.com/watch?v=_j56IiLqZ9U

Same. I took the version with all the possible Pottermore questions, too, and somehow got an 86% for both Gryffindore and Ravenclaw, with the other two way lower.

I consider myself a pretty cowardly person, but apparently I'm destined for main character status. J-just wait, it'll happen.

>dead
>losing to the Bongs in the Olympics
>dead
Haha what a great house sign me up :^)

That's an animal I mean human friend but you're right. Stop being beastist snakes are individuals too

Technically harry falls alseep to hagrids heartbeat and warmth as an infant

Can Gryffindor not be loyal? Is Ravenclaw not hardworking?

Face it user, they are literally "oh shit I need to round out the numbers" the house

Hufflepuff defense force out in full stride

Slughorn kind of is an asshole
He does throw VIP only parties, gives favours to his favourite students and dismisses anyone who's not famous, after all

Cedric was a shit dueler Harry was better in year 2 and by year three could disarm like a pro

just accept that you got sorted into a garbage house because you're a garbage person

Were there any main characters from the other two houses?

Why wasn't Hagrid allowed to raise him? He's a good caregiver. Treats Harry like a son, and having an adopted kid might have convinced that giantess bitch of his to actually tie the knot.

Luna

Do you know how to use google

Raveclaw cannot be loyal. Gryffindor cannot be hardworking for they are Mary Sues and everything comes easy to them despite that Harry barely learned shit at that school and only beat Voldermort because a fat kid killed his snake.